A dream is a wish the heart makes. In Helena's dreams she sees Myka sitting on a blanket under a tree with a small baby snuggled against her chest. Her dark curls fall forward to frame her face as she looks down at the sleeping bundle and she smiles before looking up to catch Helena's gaze. In her dreams Helena has paused to take in the sight but mere moments after her brown eyes have locked with Myka's green ones something brings her back to what she was doing, a tug of the pant leg, a bark, a child's bright laugh. In her dreams Helena is whole, happy, and content as she chases a small child who is chasing after Trailer and Lulu. Sometimes the child is a boy with her big brown eyes and Myka's brown hair that curls into ringlets if not kept cut short. Sometimes the child is a little girl with Myka's beautiful green eyes and her long black hair. Always when that child smiles up at her it's with Myka's smile and it fills Helena with such a sense of peace that it lingers into her waking hours, despite the sense of loss she always feels when waking up to find it had all be a wonderful dream.
She hadn't mentioned her dreams to Myka. She wasn't sure she could handle the emotions that would come with allowing another child into her reality. She was taking a huge risk loving Myka because she knew that if something ever happened to Myka she would be lost, if something happened to this wonderful amazing woman she loved so deeply, there would be no coming back from that. To allow another child into her heart, to have the lingering phantom of something taking that child from her, she knew that if history repeated itself not even Myka would be able to stop her from watching the world burn to ash. So she never mentioned her dreams to Myka, and Myka never told her that sometimes when she saw Helena smile at a child while they walked down the street in Univille she would imagine what it would be like to have a tiny Bering-Wells walking between them, each of them holding onto a tiny hand. Helena didn't know that sometimes while Myka read she would come across a name and before she could stop herself she was testing the sound of that name against their surnames.
A dream is a wish the heart makes because sometimes the brain won't stop being a jerk long enough for the heart to get want it wants, but sometimes in moments of pure contentment when everyone is on the same page, the heart gets to make its wish in the rosy light of day.
In her dream Lulu begins to growl, which was odd because Lulu never growled in her dreams, and hardly ever growled in real life. When she noticed that Lulu was growling at Myka, it began to click, Helena's subconscious realized that her little white Maltese mix was growling in reality and it had seeped into her dream. She began the slow struggle of waking up and as she became more aware of reality she realized something didn't feel right. When they'd gone to bed that night Myka had wanted to be the big spoon and Helena had easily snuggled into her lover's embrace, falling asleep with a soft smile on her lips. Myka's hold was always protective but gentle, her arm would wrap around Helena's waist, her hand would rest just under Helena's breast, her calf would slide over Helena's legs, her breasts would press against Helena's back, and she could feel Myka's warm breath brushing against the shell of her ear. For Helena, this is what home felt like.
As she became ever more alert in her waking state Helena began to realize that something was wrong, something was way off. The arm around her was to heavy, the leg draped over her own to hairy, and the chest pressed against her back was to solid. Even the breath washing over her skin was to warm. Helena's dark eyes snapped open in the dark. The body behind her was too large, to hard to be Myka's. Fear ripped through her as she realized without a doubt that the body behind her was not Myka's that it was in fact very male, given the appendage that was poking into her. For a split second she feared that the last two years had been a dream. For that terrifying moment she thought she hadn't gone back to South Dakota and that she and Myka hadn't confessed their love, or shared a bed, and that it was Nate behind her. But then Lulu growled, a lower confused confrontational growl, and she remembered she hadn't gotten Lulu until she'd left Nate. Her dark eyes did a quick scan of the room and for a split second she felt relief because she was in the room she and Myka shared at Leena's, but then the fear returned. She was in the arms of a man and not Myka!
Helena bolted from the bed seconds after realizing something was wrong. As she darted from the bed she snagged her Tesla from the nightstand drawer and once she was several feet from the bed she aimed it before flipping on the light. Sure enough laying there on Myka's side of the bed was a man. Lulu stood her ground, growling at the unfamiliar person, as Helena prepared to pull the trigger on her Tesla. She would have shot him but he began to stir and opened his eyes, they were green, Myka's green.
The man groaned in protest at being awaken in the middle of the night. "Helena? What's wrong? Why is Lulu growling like that?" He began to sit up as he spoke and then froze. Something was off, way off, but before there could be any kind of self-analysis there was the small matter of having Helena's Tesla aimed at him. "Helena?"
"Who the sodding hell are you?" Helena demanded. "Where's Myka?"
Those bright but sleepy eyes blinked at Helena. "I'm right here, Helena." Having a weapon pointed at you was a good way to quickly clear the cobwebs of sleep and that allowed for realizing that, "Why do I sound like…"
Myka looked down at herself and screamed. "I'm a man!"
Utter confusion crossed Helena's face as she watched the man in her bed leap to his feet and start patting down his own body, squeaking in shock when his hand felt the undeniable evidence of his manhood. She didn't lower her Tesla but Helena relaxed a little as she let herself take in the man. His hair was short but wavy, it would curl if left to grow long, and it was the same shade of brown as Myka's. His body was athletic, toned, and muscled but not like Pete's. Pete was built for American football and wrestling while this man was built for more refined sports like proper football and polo. And it certainly wasn't built for the baby blue tank top and matching panties that were stretched out over his chest and groin in a way that she was certain was uncomfortable if not a little painful. Myka had gone to bed in a baby blue tank top and panties last night, fresh from the dryer, Helena remembered falling asleep to the warm scene of fabric softener mingling with the comforting scent of Myka herself.
Myka couldn't believe this. When she'd gone to bed last night she was still very much a woman, now it was painfully clear she wasn't. Everything about her was male, but what she was having an even harder time dealing with was the look of fear and confusion on Helena's face. Waking up a man was confusing as hell; she could only imagine what it had felt like to wake up in the arms of one after falling asleep in the arms of a woman. The fact that Helena still had her Tesla drawn let Myka know the first thing she had to do was convince her girlfriend to not shoot her. "Helena," She said in a voice that was deep and soft. "Helena, it's me, I'm Myka!"
Before Helena could respond their bedroom door opened. Pete and Claudia came charging in with their Tesla's drawn. They'd been drug from their own sleep by the commotion and had come running. "Mykes? Hels? What's going on?" Pete asked.
Myka squeaked, which didn't sound right coming from a male voice, as she grabbed a blanket to cover herself.
"Who the hell are you?" Claudia demanded as she looked at the occupants of the room. When she saw the look on Helena's face, the confusion and fear, she moved closer to the older woman, taking up a protective stance.
"Guys." Myka pleaded. "It's me!"
"Me who?" Pete asked as his gaze darted between the strange man and Helena. "Where's Myka? Helena, what's going on?"
"I'm right here!" Myka yelled. "I am Myka!"
Pete titled his head in that way that reminded people of a puppy. "What? Dude, you're a dude! Who the hell are you? What are you doing in here?" He took a step forward with his Tesla drawn, a dangerous look on his face. If this guy hurt one of his girls things were about to get ugly.
Myka could see things getting out of hand so she took a daring step forward and looked right into Helena's eyes, right into the very heart of the other woman, into a place where only Myka could reach. "Baby it's me."
A shocking bolt of recognition flared inside Helena and she gasped, her eyes going wide, her arms lowering her Tesla. "Myka?"
"Yes." Myka said with a touch of relief. "I don't know what the hell happened." She looked down at her self again before looking back up at Helena. "But it's me."
Pete and Claudia looked at Helena who seemed to have relaxed. They watched as their dark haired English friend took several careful steps towards the strange and yet oddly familiar man standing in her room. They relaxed but didn't lower their weapons as Helena reached out a trembling hand to touch the man's face, their eyes locked. Helena gasped again.
"H.G?" Claudia asked softly.
"Myka." Helena said softly. "You're a man."
Myka shifted uncomfortably on her feet, both from feeling unease and uncomfortable, and because she wasn't sure what to do with what hung between her thighs. "Apparently."
"Ooooo!" Claudia said in a bratty little sister tone of voice as she shoved her mini Tesla into the pocket of her Spongebob pj pants. "Someone got whammied!"
Helena rubbed Myka's cheek and marveled at the feeling of stubble she found there. "Someone had best call Artie."
After getting her some things to wear from Pete's closet, sweat pants, boxers, and a North Canton wrestling t-shirt, which Myka only put on after repeated insurances from Pete that they were all clean, the agents headed over to the Warehouse. Pete drove and asked questions about what it felt like to be a guy, did it feel odd, was she having weird thoughts, did she have any sudden urges to watch Jackass and play X-Box while eating pizza and drinking beer?
"I don't think so." Myka said as she thought it over. "I'm still me, I still think like me, I'm just, ya know…"
"Hung?" Claudia threw in.
"Claudia!" Myka and Helena scolded in unison, which only made the younger woman laugh.
Artie was not happy. Not only was he drug from his bed in the middle of the night, but clearly someone hadn't been very careful around the artifacts. After Claudia had called him and told him what was going on he started in on his research. When his agents walked in he went over to look Myka over himself while Claudia went to the computers. Artie walked around Myka and then stood in front of her for several long moments. "You look like you would have if you'd been born male, it's remarkable."
"Very handsome indeed." Helena said with a smile.
Myka blushed. "What happened to me, Artie?"
"Well to be honest I'm not sure." Artie said before asking. "What did you touch?"
"We were doing inventory yesterday." Myka answered. "I touched a lot of things, but I had gloves on the whole time."
Artie thought for a moment and then turned his fatherly gaze onto Helena. "What did you touch?"
"Me?" Helena yelped defensively.
"Yes you." Artie said firmly. "You two worked together yesterday and you two are personally connected. What did you touch?"
"Nothing." Helena huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I was on the floor with our check list, or at a computer terminal. Myka was handling the artifacts."
Artie grumbled under his breath while he thought this out. Something like this he would expect from Pete, or maybe even Claudia, but not his older girls. Myka and Helena both knew better. It had to be something else, an artifact certainly, but not one they would have to have direct contact with. "Claudia…"
"Already on it." The young redhead said. "I'm cross checking Myka and H.G's inventory list with Myka's symptoms, and…" There was a bit of a pause. "Nothing on their list but, ah-ha! They were in the wishing aisle."
Myka shot Helena a glare and Helena's eyes went wide. "I did not wish for you to be a man! I am rather happy with your femaleness thank you very much!"
"Well I didn't wish to be a man either!" Myka barked.
"Ok, ok, shut up." Artie said as he looked over Claudia's shoulder to read about the artifacts in the wishing aisle. After several moments he turned to look at Helena and Myka. "What were you thinking while you were in the wishing aisle?"
"Thinking?" Myka asked.
Helena thought about their day and suddenly said, "Oh dear."
Myka turned to glare at her girlfriend. "Oh dear? Oh dear what?"
"Perhaps there is a small chance I might have accidently caused this." Helena admitted sheepishly. She squirmed under the gazes of her lover and their friends and then explained, "We were talking about your sister and her children. You had just mentioned Tracy was having another baby."
"How would thinking about my sister's children have made me a man?" Myka questioned. She watched Helena closely and saw the flicker of emotion in her dark eyes, the uncertainty, and a hint of what Myka thought could be longing. "Helena?"
Helena dropped her head for a moment. She ran her hand through her hair twice, a sure sign that she was inwardly struggling with something. Then she looked up at Myka. "I might have thought, well, I might have thought to myself that if it were possible for you and I to have children together, our children would be perfect."
Myka's eyes went large and doey. Helena wanted them to have children? She'd never said anything before, but given Helena's past maybe she'd been afraid to. "Helena."
Helena blushed.
Myka stepped closer to Helena as she admitted. "I might have had the same thought you did."
This time it was Helena's eyes that went wide. "Really?"
Myka nodded.
"Ok so you both secretly and unknowingly wished to have little Bering-Wells babies together." Claudia said as it all started to make sense. "An artifact picked up on that and whammy! Myka has the parts to make that happen now."
Artie started talking about finding and neutralizing the artifact, and lecturing about how Myka couldn't remain a man, and about being more careful with stray thoughts while among the artifacts. Claudia was grinning like a sappy fool at the idea of Warehouse babies. And Pete was gloating over not being the one in trouble for messing with an artifact for once. Myka and Helena didn't notice any of this. They stood in Artie's office simply staring at each other for several minutes before Myka walked over and took Helena's hand. They slipped out the umbilicus door and walked through the bright white tunnel until they were outside the Warehouse alone.
They were both quiet for several long moments. They were gathering their thoughts before diving into the conversation they both new was coming. Finally it was Myka who said, "I hadn't really ever thought of having children before, not until we started dating anyway, but even then it was just a flicker of a thought. I was never sure if you… and then the cancer scare and the surgery and… I just never brought it up."
Helena raised their clasped hands and held Myka's against her heart. Shortly after their reunion Myka had had a medical scare and had required surgery and treatment. Helena had been nearly crippled with fear and anxiety, but she supported Myka and her love made it through, and she was perfectly healthy now. "If I would have lost you, Myka, I would have been… I don't think I'd have come back from that kind of darkness." She paused for a moment before adding, "I dream about us, about a family with you, but what if…"
"You're scared." Myka said as she raised her free hand to cup Helena's face. Again she was taken aback about how such a normal gesture between them seemed so alien right now.
"Yes." Helena admitted as she leaned into Myka's touch. It was only a little comforting. Though she knew this was her Myka, the body, the touch, didn't feel the same.
"Maybe we're not ready right now but what if this is our chance to have a someday?" Myka asked.
Dark eyes suddenly filled with a bright light of hope. "How do you mean?"
"We could talk to Vanessa." Myka said and then bit her lip nervously. "Maybe, I don't know, maybe if we can, maybe we could ya know, stock pile."
It took a few moments for Helena to catch on but then she couldn't help but smile. "You mean… Use your…"
"If I have it and it's safe." Myka said with a nod. "Why not?"
"Oh Myka." Helena said in a breathy voice before leaning close and kissing Myka. When she pulled away she was making a face and laughing. "Oh, stubble burn!"
Myka laughed, and despite the male register of her voice, it was her laugh. "Sorry."
When they returned to Artie's office he and Claudia had managed to track down the artifact. Artie was going to goo it when Myka stopped him. "Not yet."
"Myka." Artie said disapprovingly.
"Artie please." Myka said as she looked at him like a child asking a father for help. "Let us talk to Vanessa first. This could be our only chance."
Artie wasn't sure. He didn't like using artifacts for personal gain, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd used one to help Myka. It hadn't just been medicine that saved her life. After looking into Myka's eyes for a few moments and then looking over at Helena, he finally said with a sigh, "Fine."
Claudia cheered. "I'll find Doc Vanessa!"
"No need." The woman's voice rang out from the stairs leading up to Artie's apartment. "I'm right here."
"Oooo!" Claudia said teasingly. "Mommy and Daddy had a sleep over!"
"Claudia!" The adults scolded in unison.
