Okie dokie then. This story was confusing to me when I wrote it. I mean; the instant change in setting and stuff. I was rushing at the time anyway. So...enjoy it pwease.
Spencer couldn't believe what he was hearing. They had just started to date; now because he almost got killed by an unsub on a psychotic break he wants to end it? No. He wasn't going to let it go down like that. "Derek, listen to me. Now. Just because I got shot in the leg doesn't mean we have to end anything. Need I remind you we just started this relationship?"
Derek dropped his bags for third time-literally. "Spencer, if we can't keep each other safe then why are we doing any of this?"
Spencer was taken back by the question. If we can't keep each other safe then why are we doing any of this? "I don't know." The tears we clearly shown in his eyes as they made their way out. In Spencer's mind, Derek had made it very clear; he didn't want a relationship. "Is that what this is about?" Anger replacing the hurt in his eyes.
"What are you talking about?" Crap, Crap. He knows! I didn't know how to tell him. He's a profiler for Pete's sake!
"You know very well what I'm talking about. You wanted to find a way out this 'relationship', and danger seemed to be the winner." Spencer walked to the door and opened it for Derek. "So if you want to leave? Be my guest, but don't sit here and lie to me."
Derek didn't know what to do. He was sure he would get out of this smoothly, but the thing is, why? Why did he want to get out of this so badly? Badly enough to lie to Spencer? He didn't know.
Spencer was very hurt and upset. The only person he thought he loved lied to him to get OUT of the relationship, not protect it. "Well what are you waiting for? Go!"
Derek was so stupid. He didn't have a reason to be out of the relationship. That's why he didn't know why he was leaving. "Spencer, Pretty Boy-"
"Don't call me that! You don't have the right anymore." Spencer just wanted him to leave.
"Can I tell you I'm sorry and that I'm stupid?" Derek thought his charm would work, but not this time. It wasn't going to work this time. He felt himself being pushed out the door.
Spencer smiled ruefully, "Of course you can; as soon as you get to your place, give me a call. As soon you die alone, notice that. Besides, being sorry and stupid is your expertise, isn't it?" Spencer shut the door in his face. He never wanted to see him again. He knows he has abandonment issues, but clearly he doesn't care. He was done with all this pain.
Derek looked at the door, just staring at it. What did he just do? He just threw away the best thing in his life, that's what he did! He didn't move from the door, he just lay down next to it. He wasn't going away from that door until he got his chance to explain.
Spencer glanced at the door, regretting his decision. He was probably out there sulking until he got his chance. He sighed and dialed his number.
"Spencer?"
"Yeah. Um, you wanted to explain?"
"Yeah. Spencer I'm sorry. I don't even know what I left you for. I guess I wanted to know how it worked if I used that excuse or something."
Spencer sighed at the excuse. He started to stutter, "You never said-you never said- you never said that it would be this hard. Love is meant to be forever; now or never seems to discard. There's got to be a better way for me to say what's on my hear without leaving scars. So can you hear me when I call your name?"
Derek thought about those times Spencer was so different, grieving. "And when you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow? There's so much to be said." Derek felt terrible. He was breaking Spencer's heart without even noticing. "And with a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low. Can you hear me when I call your name?"
Care. He sounded like he cared. And for Spencer, that was good enough for him. Besides, he needed someone to talk to about Emily…and his headaches. He opened the door and kissed Derek with glee.
*At the session with Hotch*
"It's like, if we can't keep each other safe then why are we doing any of this?" He could hear his own voice cracking. He didn't want to talk about Emily like this. All the bad memories to him and Derek's fight. He wanted to talk someone who actually acted like they cared, instead of bottling up their feelings like it'll kill you if you don't let it out. Someone like Derek.
*After the session*
Spencer opened the door to an upset Derek. "Where were you?"
Spencer rolled his eyes at the protection. Typical Derek. "At a session with Hotch, just like you were."
Derek's face softened. "Good, because I was going to kill you if were going to a place you weren't supposing to." He grabbed Spencer and hugged him. And as if he didn't hear he added, "Like I was."
Spencer frowned; he had a feeling that he wasn't going to like this. He pulled away almost immediately. "What? What do you mean 'like I was'?"
Derek sighed; lying to him was the thing that got them broken up the first time. "I've been to gentlemen's clubs, with gentlemen strippers, and paying the gentlemen a lot of money."
Spencer almost felt hurt; of course Derek was a man and he had the right to do that, but guy strippers? But then the important fact hit him, "Why are you telling me about the money? Did you use mine?" Spencer was getting ready to shoot and kill him if he was; he had no right of permission.
"No! No, um, the thing is…I'm almost broke."
Spencer gave him a blank look that said really Derek? Really? "That's what you're making a big deal out of? Man you're such a drama king. I was getting ready to kill you!" Derek looked hurt and offended. Spencer expression softened. "I'll help you out. All you had to do is ask. Jeez man, don't scare me like that again." He pulled Derek in for a kiss.
Derek replied at the kiss…lustfully.
Spencer pulled away. He knew what he was doing. "Derek… you know I'm ready for that."
Derek smirked. "I know; that's why I'm preparing you."
Spencer looked almost scared. "No, you're still not getting it. Uh, I'm not ready and you know that."
That part of Derek was understanding and held onto him sweetly. "Sorry Pretty Boy, I don't know what got over me." He kissed his temple as they fell off into sweet slumber. They were in each other's arms and in each other's dreams.
Author's Note: The part where Spencer was stuttering and when Derek responded to him were repeated from Call Your Name by Daughtry. The review button is feeling empty and lonely, so donate the poor button some reviews please.