Resident Survivor: A humor/action/adventure that just isn't about a Survivor Spoof
A/N: I do not own Resident Evil or any of its characters. If I did than I would be rich. So here is the story
Prologue:
Cue Tribal Music...
Wesker: Good evening folks and I'm Albert Wesker your host of
Audience: Resident Survivor!
Wesker: that's right! Last week you saw all of the Final fantasy characters stranded on an island, and you all saw some of them get ripped apart, decapitated, impaled, raped, Michel Jackson'd...
Alfred from no-where: Michel if you're watching this... Call me!
Michel Jackson: Sure will hunny buns. I love you Alfred you're so hot!
Wesker pulls out killer 7 and blow Michel Jackson's head off
Stephen Hawkyns: How did you do that...? Jack-son was in his house. And you shot him some-how...
Wesker: don't question Wesker bitch, pulls out nerd rifle and blows Hawkins to oblivion.
Meanwhile in Oblivion
Dremora Fred: Hey Joe
Dremora Joe: Yes Fred
Dremora Fred: I love you...
Dremora Joe: Wow that was so sudden
Suddenly Hawkyns crashes through the sigil gate and mauls Joe with his wheel chair.
Dremora Fred: No Joe. Why'd you have to die so young and sexy?
Hawkyns begins to sing
Hawkyns: There is more to life than love. Some-times you have to experience getting an extension cord shoved up your ass. And when you begin to get electrocuted. People say. What the fuck was he doing...?
Dremora Fred pulls out a daedric rocket launcher and obliterates Stephen Hawkyns.
Hawkyns before dying: I'll be back!
Wesker who attached a camera to the round that killed Stephen saw the whole thing and so did the audience and NASA.
Wesker: oh shit NASA's gonna be pissed. Anyway now back to the show. Before we start Resident survivor does any one have any questions.
Leon: Um W- Wesker. Do you have any other guns besides the nerd gun?
Wesker: Why yes Leon in fact I do. I have the anti pervert gun!
Wesker shoots at Leon...
Leon: NOOOOOOOOOO...
Bullet continues forward
Leon now eating a hot dog: OOOOOOOOO
Forward more
Leon having sex with Claire: OOOO!
The bullet hits Leon but doesn't kill him.
Leon: Wesker what exactly was that supposed to do?
Wesker smiling evilly: Look down
Leon does and finds that his penis shrank from three inches to two
Leon: NOOOOOOO!
A/N: Well that's the prologue. Though I wouldn't exactly call it a prologue. The real story takes place during the survivor events and doesn't take place on an island. I'm leaving it to reviewers to review, of course, and give me a location in which the group should stay at. Also later I will need someone to give me one guest character from any game, movie, ect. If you hate this story tell me... If you can think of ways to improve it tell me. Thank you for R&R.
PS: I know this wasn't exactly funny but it'll get better.