Confessions
Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Talk of Jacob/Nessie, Edward/Nessie - Bonding
Rating: T
Point of View: Renesmee.
Story © FangsTrashcanOfDoom
Twilight Series © Stephenie Meyer
My thoughts were clouded with guilt as I caught up on my Netflix and tried so hard to keep my father out of my head. It was becoming quite difficult, though, because I hardly kept anything from either of my parents. If I didn't want my father to know something, I told my mother, and she would protect my thoughts until I was ready to speak to him.
But never in my life have I not told either of them anything.
I thought back on the night I was with Jake. My lower half had been slightly sore the next day, but it was all worth it until I remembered that I had to tell someone.
I knew that they were going to find out sooner or later, and I would much rather have them find out later - maybe after I packed my bags and moved halfway around the world.
Only did I realize that I was crying when I heard the dull thud of my tear hitting the side of my father's laptop and then finally falling onto the blue pillow.
I took a deep breath to try and calm myself, but I knew that now was the time. I knew that maybe I could use my tears to my advantage - completely evil, I know, but it must be done.
I stood up and folded my arms over my stomach, not only because it would help the image tremendously, but because I felt nauseous just thinking about what I was about to do.
I took another deep breath and walked out to the living room of our cabin, where my father sat, alone, because my mother was hunting with the rest of the family.
"Dad…?" I asked cautiously. Maybe he'll ignore me this one time, I thought. Or maybe he'll tell me he's too busy and that he can talk later. Or may-
"Yes?" he answered, not looking up from his book quite yet.
I swore silently and took a step forward. "I need to talk to you."
This time he looked up, taking in my tears and posture, and set his book down quickly.
"What's the matter?"
He always knew that something was wrong if I was breaking down. I was the type of person who almost never cried - not about drama, school, boys, or anything. And when I did cry, it was usually for a damn good reason.
I shook my head and sat down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder; his arms snaked around my shoulders, pulling me closer.
I shuddered silently, not sure how to start. Should I just blurt it out? Should I come up with a speech? I had no clue what I was going to do. I had come out here on a whim, and whims are never good for anyone.
"What's the matter?" he repeated softly.
"I don't know how to tell you," I confessed.
"Would you like to show me instead?"
"No."
I felt him softly pull me onto his lap and hold me closer. The only thing that made this awkward for me was the fact that I was now grown and had a seventeen-year-old body - as did he.
"Take as long as you need," he whispered, and started humming, allowing me to collect my thoughts.
"I did a bad thing, Daddy," I told him five minutes later.
He stopped humming and looked at me. "Of course," I continued, "You're going to hate it more than I did, but it's still a bad thing."
He pursed his lips and said, "Whatever it was, I'll still love you."
"I know, but…."
"But what?"
"But it's bad."
"If I guess and guess correct, will you tell me?" he asked.
I simply nodded and shoved my head against his chest.
"Does it have anything to do with you being half vampire?" he asked, and I knew that he was hoping I hadn't killed anyone.
I shook my head. "No."
I felt him sigh softly.
"Please, just tell me, Ness," he said, trying to get me to confess.
I shuddered again, more sobs trying to break through. "I-I'm not…I'm not…," I tried, but it just wouldn't come out.
"You're not…?"
"I'm not…I'm not a…virgin, Daddy," I finally admitted, my head ducking lower and lower as I wished a hole would suddenly appear that I could jump into.
I felt him freeze, his arms becoming tighter against me as if he was protecting me from everyone. Or, I thought, protecting everyone from me.
It was a solid ten minutes and he was still frozen; the only thing that kept me from thinking he had died right there was his twitching muscles as his arms kept tightening themselves around me.
"D…Daddy?" I whispered cautiously. I didn't necessarily want to talk to him, but I needed him to do something. Whether it be yell, cry, or hit me - not that he normally yelled or cried, and he absolutely never hit me out of spite.
His arms tightened and then released. I got up, thinking that's what he wanted and moved to the floor. I placed my head between my legs and sobbed, thinking of his face and his thoughts; thinking about how appalled he must be.
I felt the couch move as he shifted his weight, but continued crying, almost sure that he was appalled at me.
His arms were around me again, pulling me back up and onto his lap. I buried my face into his sweater, not wanting to see his face.
"Was…" I knew he was going to have difficulty talking. "Was it…your choice?"
"Yes," I answered honestly. I didn't want him going after anybody, thinking I had been raped.
I felt his take a deep, shaky breath and then release it, washing his breath over my head.
"Jacob?" was the only word he said.
I took a breath. "Yes."
He nodded, as if he expected the answer - and he probably did.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out again.
His hands cupped my face as he forced me to look him straight in the eye. "I love you," he assured. "No matter what decisions you make."
I smiled only lightly, small tears still sliding down my face and onto my lap.
He smiled at me and then frowned. "Where's Jacob?"
I studied his face and saw nothing but concern and confusion.
"I don't know," I answered. "Probably patrolling or at Charlie's. Why?"
He grinned. "Because he's gonna need protection for when Bella finds out."
And there you have it. Another random idea that popped into my head when I was about to fall asleep. Sorry it sucks; I'm tired. It's 2:30 in the morning.
Most likely this will only be a one-shot. If I get enough reviews, maybe even a two-shot!
I've discovered that on a PJO story, if you ask, you get reviews! Does it work here?
Can I get reviews, please? :) They're good for the soul! (And you might get a virtual cookie!)