Title: 110,001st Reason Marcus DOESN'T Get Any
Author: Third Charm
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairings: Marcus/Neroon.
Story Type: Total Satirical Parody - duh!
Current Rating: T
Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all subsequent major characters, plots, and ideas are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Inc. and Warner Bros. The following story was written only for the purposes of entertainment. No income had been made.
Warnings: AU, not beta read, profanity, implied sex, slash
Spoilers: "Rising Star" thanks to one line.
Summary: See title
Author's Note: The Minbari words and phrases were found at the "JumpNow" website in John Hightower's Minbari dictionary.
110,001st Reason Marcus DOESN'T Get Any
A lone lady is sitting propped up in her recliner watching her DVD collection of Babylon 5. She is watching the episode, "Grey seventeen is Missing" for the thousandth time as she waits for her ancient P.C. to upload her latest creation to her favorite fanfic site.
--And we go to the upload--
Neroon continued the explosive kiss as he slowly undressed the Ranger in his arms. The Warrior's hunger increased with every bit of ivory skin uncovered. Finally, after what seemed a torturous amount of time to Marcus, Neroon's hands reached the waistband of Marcus's trousers.
Marcus broke the kiss and moaned then. "Neroon, oh God, yes! I've waited so long for you! I never thought I'd ever meet my soul mate, and yet here we are, bonded!"
"I'm glad you waited for me, beloved. I promise you, ma'fela, I will make this worth all the heartache and the wait," Neroon crooned as he undid the fastenings of Marcus's trousers and pushed both them and Marcus's boxers down.
"Oh, yes Neroon!" the Ranger moaned out as the Warrior stood up and pulled him against his just as naked form. "Yes, please, make..."
--We now go to the upload--
Beep! Beep! Beep!
General Protection Fault has occurred in kernal.exe in 01ad:fc. Program will now terminate. Upload incomplete.
--And now back to the TV screen--
The TV is no longer showing any scenes form "Grey Seventeen is Missing". Instead, a very haphazardly dressed Marcus is now standing alone in a bare room that was supposed to have been his honeymoon suite from the fanfic. The Ranger is passed the pissed off point. He is now livid.
He throws back his head and screams, "You Bitch! You promised to get a new P.C.! You promised! You fucking promised to properly complete at least one whole upload! That bloody bastard froze me before I could get any, and YOU promised me you'd fix it! Now go get a new machine and finish this scene and upload it before I jump OUT of your TV screen and take my den'bok to your bloody head!"