The silence between us was unbearable. I knew this but still allowed myself to sit next to him. Seifer was glaring at the wall making sure to look at nothing other than its grey glory. The ringing in my head was beginning to get worse. It's begging for his touch but I knew it wouldn't happen today or ever again, even with him close enough to kiss…
He had us meet here and got mad at the fact I was a minute late. Seifer seems to be getting pickier each day attempting to make me something I'm not. This moment, which hadn't even been a minute, seems as though it's taking up a full twenty four hours. The tension just won't stop rising between us. I know being here won't help me let him go.
"I hate how you never seem to be listening to me." Seifer growled. I could feel his passion and anger. It wanted to kill me. I stared at him. I'm always listening I just don't have anything to say. "Why won't you just pretend to care when I'm always here working so hard for you, but you refuse. You need to change. This isn't right. I give up all my time, I can't even get a job, just to make you happy."
I let the ghost of a smile cover my face. This is so pointless. He's just going to blame it all on me. We were sitting down in the middle of a park watching little kids play on the swing sets and monkey gyms. This pretty scene is nothing… nothing compared to what we're going through.
You can't even compare the two. I just want him to shut up and leave. Let's just have this all end right here and right now. I'm just so done. I looked down at Seifer's three hundred dollar watch. Of course he wouldn't mention that I was the one who bought him the petty thing. Pretty yes but not worth our time. I should have just bought it for myself. I'm the one who's taking care of us.
"Try to be more like me. I care and try so hard for everyone. All you ever do is things for yourself. When are you ever going to give a damn about anything? When will you finally let go of your high horse and let us be together?!" Seifer cried angrily. I turned and stared at him for a moment then smiled angrily and began laughing harshly.
You were the one who made us what we are. It all started when you asked me out and I said yes. You were always the ambitious one. Looking for a job at a high paying bail bond company and trying to help out the cops whenever you could. I don't think you could ever stand the way I'm satisfied just working as a teacher at a high school.
I must look like such a wimp… why did you ever even bother? What did I have that you even liked? "Do you even want to succeed? We get almost nothing with your income! How can we even survive?! What are your plans?!" His voice was slowly becoming louder as he became more and more passionate. I looked at him and answered honestly.
"I'm going to let everything just happen." I said knowing how evil I am. I'm too proud to admit that I love my job too much to think of a different one. He's too high and mighty for me. I don't need to give him reasons to love me. I'm too proud to do something like that. His face was priceless. With his glare and scowl I was able to see the truth.
The collision is such an ugly sound.
"Just talk to me and let me know what you're thinking. This isn't you. This isn't the guy that I love." For the first time I just stopped and listened to him, completely, without thinking of my own witty comebacks and rebuttals; but this won't change a thing.
"This is all your fault… you should have cared and at least have been there for me. How can you be so selfish?!" Seifer whispered this letting me know that no matter what I'll always be the one who ruined us. Even though I bought him flowers once a month and set up romantic dates for the guy, I'll always be the bad guy.
The park was so pretty with trees full of pink petals that would slowly fall down attempting to caress our faces. I looked back at my sexy boyfriend I was about to give up then smiled. He glared harder and then his eyes widened. "You never loved me did you?" He asked standing up. Instantly my eyes filled with tears.
I blinked in surprise then stared at him with an open mouth trying to figure out why my body was suddenly sprouting tears. I began to laugh so hard that it felt as though I couldn't talk anymore, no more breathing for Hayner. He's too busy laughing right now.
"At least work on your future. Get a better job okay? I'm going to have to leave you now. I'm so done with you." Seifer smirked and began to walk away. I stared after him and clenched my fists then ran forward wanting to hear what else he would have to say. We've been through the script so many times… I just want to know what happens next.
"I love you." Seifer informed me causing me to stop, my nails no longer engraving themselves into my palms. I watched the clouds slowly pass over the sky then stared at his back knowing this is all I ever saw.
Would have been great if I could have ever caught up to you. I began to laugh once again and the tears just kept coming. They wouldn't stop and soon I was on the ground gasping for breath and wiping my eyes.
It's all on me. There's nothing more to say.
It was my fault.