Goodbye, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

06/02/09-I've just had another look at this and realised I typed Seto's birthday wrong so I'm very sorry but I've corrected it now.

Heva: I don't know where this idea came from really. It started out as an attempt to get rid of the feeling of dread I've had for the past few days that won't leave me alone. It hasn't worked and I still feel like something horrible has happened that I should be trying to sort out.

Coel: Heva doesn't own Yu-gi-oh which is a very good thing as this story will help to demonstrate.

Heva: This does contain character death and don't read unless you want to feel unhappy as it's made me cry re-reading it.

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Seto stared into his coffee mug. The brown liquid reminding him of those eyes that wouldn't leave his mind. Why did it have to be like this? That mutt constantly invading his every thought as if he was trying to irritate Seto even more than he used to when they were at school together.

"Can we go to the park this weekend?" Mokuba asked from the other side of the table as he continued to mark some school work.

"Of course," Seto said quietly. Those chocolate coloured eyes were still staring at him from his subconscious under an untidy mop of blond hair.

"Can you mark some practice papers for me, brother? I'm snowed under at the moment, what with the final exams coming up for most of my students." Seto nodded as he took a few of the papers from the 'to do' pile next to his younger sibling. He had been only slightly surprised by Mokuba's decision to become a teacher, and the idea of his brother as an IT teacher now seemed an almost obvious career path for the younger Kaiba to have taken. The elder brother had become familiar with Mokuba's most promising students as many of them applied for part time jobs at Kaiba Corp with references from Mokuba. Seto had been impressed with some of the recent recruits and recognised a particular individual's name at the top of the paper he was about to mark.

The scratching of pens on paper resonated around the otherwise silent room as both brothers continued to focus on the task at hand. Seto felt his mind begin to loose focus as he started comparing the untidy scrawl across the paper with the pup's handwriting. He let out a sigh as he paused to read through a long answer.

"Is something wrong, Seto?" Mokuba asked as he looked up.

"Nothing to worry about, I'm just a little distracted today, Mokie," Seto replied with the smile he reserved especially for Mokuba. He had never used that smile towards anyone else and never would until the end of his days. His younger brother was his sole purpose for living and would always remain his one and only trustworthy companion.

Mokuba looked back down and continued his task while Seto watched him. The once black haired child had changed significantly over the last few years. University had seen the end of his growth spurts which now put him at the same height as Seto, if not a fraction of an inch taller. The introduction to hair dressers had occurred after he had obtained his first teaching position and he now had reasonably short dark red hair with his black roots showing through. The poor eyesight that had affected Seto seemed to have also claimed Mokuba and his red rimmed glasses, which he assured Seto were very fashionable, were slipping down his nose. Mokuba had retained his scruffy teenage dress sense and was wearing jeans and t-shirt, a complete contrast to his brother's fairly smart appearance, and a teenage addition which Seto hated with a passion was the eyebrow piercing. This was still in place along with a few others that Seto didn't want to know the location of. He had once asked how many piercings Mokuba had and received an answer of nine. This had caused him a pause for thought and realisation that only five were visible; nose, eyebrow and three in his ears; which had stopped Seto asking any more questions.

Seto pushed his own black glasses up from where they had slid down his nose and continued his marking. He wasn't focusing much on the words in front of him, thoughts of what Katsuya would be like now kept surfacing in his mind. Glancing at the calendar in the kitchen Seto quickly calculated that it was now just over five years since he had seen the mutt. A lot had happened in five years and Seto didn't think that the mutt would even recognise him now as the same arrogant jerk who ran Kaiba Corp.

"Go take a walk," Mokuba said without looking up. He was used to this by now.

"I won't be long."

"Take as long as you need," Mokuba replied, lifting his head to look directly at Seto as he spoke. Their eyes locked for a moment passing some unspoken understanding before Seto stood up from his seat. Both knew exactly what was happening and the words weren't needed.

As Seto let the door shut behind him Mokuba felt the first tear drip down his cheek.

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The marking was completely forgotten as he walked along the street, the rain pouring down around him. He had walked this route in every weather by now, each time he felt the same rain beating down on him. That same rain that had…no he didn't want to think about that now.

The familiar gates were open to allow visitors as they always were. Welcoming everyone with equal coldness. Seto had always thought of this place being cold and unfeeling until he made the first walk here. Then he had felt the peace that he had needed so much. That peace faded after a while and he needed to return once again to that one spot. He knew this was ridiculous, his rational mind screamed at him whenever he considered it, but it worked and he felt at rest now that the sight was within reach.

Sitting in his usual space Seto turned to look at what he had come to see.

'Jounouchi Katsuya

Rest in peace for you shall forever be in our memories'

"I guess you know why I'm here again," Seto said, letting a slight smile appear on his face as he looked at the grave. "It looks like no one's been to sort out the flowers for a while, I'd have brought some if I'd have known, but then you were never a flowers and chocolates type of person." Seto closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he looked back at the grave. "You must think I'm pathetic, Katsuya," Seto said as he felt the tears begin to drip down his cheeks. He shut his eyes and buried his face in his knees as the crying intensified.

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The news paper was shoved into his hands by Mokuba. Seto ignored it and let it fall to the ground. He felt terrible. The feeling of being useless wouldn't go away. He had calculated every outcome and decided he could cope whatever Katsuya said, but the response was still more than he could take. Katsuya hadn't believed him to begin with, thought Seto was just messing about. After he realised that Seto was serious about asking him if he would consider a relationship between them, Katsuya had reacted…Seto didn't know how to describe it. Any chance of even friendship between them was gone and it was all his fault. If only he had remained silent about his feelings then it would have been ok.

"Seto read the paper," Mokuba ordered, shoving the black and white print into Seto's face. Realising that sulking in his room wasn't an option until he got rid of Mokuba again Seto decided to follow orders for now. He blinked to focus on the typed words in front of him and read the start of the article.

As realisation hit him what little colour his face had drained to leave him deathly white and the tear tracks down his face were refreshed by a new wave of droplets leaking from the corners of his eyes.

Katsuya had borrowed Honda's bike to visit his sister across town. A truck driver had failed to see him at a junction and Katsuya was no more. The last memory Seto had been left with of the only person he had ever let into his heart, other than Mokuba, was of him screaming that something was wrong with Seto and storming off. He would never see the blond haired, brown eyed puppy again. Never be able to try and mend their broken friendship.

"The funeral is next week," Mokuba said quietly. "I took the liberty of telling the family to bill Kaiba Corp for everything."

"Thank you, Mokie."

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"Do you remember the funeral?" Seto asked the grave. "Everyone was there, even Pegasus showed up. Honda and Yuugi both did speeches about how wonderful you were. I heard they are both married now to a couple of extremely pleasant women. Even Anzu has a live in boyfriend according to her annual news letter. She sends it with her christmas card to me and Mokuba. Duke and Shizuka send me christmas cards as well. They called their son Katsuya after you. He was born on the 25th October just like me, but I doubt that's of any interest to you. He's nearly three months old now, whereas I'm 36 years old and antisocial. I'm a wreck, Katsuya, a tired and useless shell of the person I once was."

Seto shifted position on the ground so that he was leaning against the side of the grave stone. He stretched out his legs in front of him so that he looked fairly relaxed.

"I keep thinking about you, puppy, all the time, at work or at home with Mokuba, I see something that reminds me of you. I love you, Katsuya, and I can't continue my life. For the last five years I've not been alive, I've just been running on automatic. It's not a life anymore."

Seto shifted again to try and regain feeling in his feet as they were beginning to go numb with cold and the slow spread of the concoction of substances around his body. He could feel his mind beginning to slow down and there was a slight blur at the edge of his vision.

"Mokuba is doing well and there is more than enough money left to him in my will for him to live comfortably at the mansion for the rest of his life with whoever he chooses. I'm leaving Kaiba Corp to one of his students who works for me. You might remember Kyle. The American student who started work for me shortly before the accident."

Seto gasped in a breath feeling his throat becoming dry and his ability to breath properly seemed to have disappeared. His hands and feet were beyond his sense of feeling and his arms and legs felt like lead. He tried to shift his body more upright and fell to the side, his body falling across Katsuya's grave. Seto took another shuddering breath.

"I guess I should apologise for lying on top of you but I don't have the energy to move I'm afraid," Seto managed to say between gasps for air. He was feeling light headed now. The lack of oxygen reaching his brain was making him dizzy. He felt like laughing at how pathetic this all was but there wasn't enough breath or energy left in him for more than a slight chuckle.

His eyes shut, blocking out the world that was little more than a fuzzy picture now. The feeling of the rain drops hitting him faded away as he slipped into unconsciousness.

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The news paper report lay on the kitchen table in front of Mokuba. He didn't need to read it to know what had happened. Seto's body had been found on Katsuya's grave and the autopsy had revealed he had taken an overdose.

The news was announcing the 'shock suicide' as Kaiba Corp was doing so well, with connections in almost every country, and no one could work out why it had happened. There was even rumours about a 'Kaiba Corp Curse' after people made connections with Gozaburo's suicide.

The phone began ringing again and Mokuba clicked the green button bringing it to his ear. He had been getting these phone calls all morning.

"Mokuba, are you ok? I just heard. What happened? Why'd he do it?" Mokuba was unsure what collection of words this person had used but it was always the same basic question. 'Why had Seto done it?'

And Mokuba knew the answer and he gave it to every person who asked.

"My brother died five years ago."

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Heva: Well wasn't that depressing. Please go find a tissue if you need it. I certainly do.

Coel: Heva is currently working on a sequel to 'Work Experience with the Rival' which will be called 'Holiday with the Lover' but at the moment she's very busy with exams and university interviews so it won't be up for a while.

Date: 03/01/2009