A/N: Bold words are a song. A gorgeous song. 'Crushed' by Rosetta. Just saying ;-P
I told myself today was gonna be the day, no more excuses 'cuz I knew exactly what to say.
Was gonna make my play but just like yesterday, my mind erased and I let the moment slip away.
Another night got me sitting here all on my own, picking up the phone, but I cant get past the dial tone.
Racking my brain. Going insane, again and again, I cant keep going this way
God, I want you. Really, I do. I sit here every night, wondering, thinking about you. Do you think about me? Are you OK? Will you ever come home? I remember how afraid I was, the first time I realised I loved you, and the first time I started to tell you I wanted you. I think about all of those moments we were together, and I wonder, if I had had the nerve, if I had told you, if we'd made a go of it, would you still be here, with me tonight? But now, that's all I have, regrets, memories, songs, stories.
CRUSHED. By the sweetest lips I've never kissed, and your fingertips and the warmest touch I've always missed.
CRUSHED. By the softest hands I've never held, probably never tell, you're the strongest love that I've ever felt.
CRUSHED. That I haven't ever let you know, how it always goes, 'cuz I lose my nerve whenever you get close. And so I'm left, short of breath, with that heavy feeling in my chest. Baby I'm so crushed
I wish I had told you how I felt. I wish I had the courage to be who I am. I wish, I wish. I was left short of breath whenever you entered a room, I would want to tell you, to hold you, to be with you, but darling, I couldn't. I wasn't used to what I was feeling, I wasn't used to taking the first step. Give me a hostage situation, or a disgusting perp anyday, but don't make me say I love you.
So I told myself that tomorrow's gonna be the day, and I keep on telling myself that I'm gonna find a way. And I wont be afraid just like yesterday, wont walk away never gonna let another chance slip away, 'cuz' I gotta know which ever way its gonna go.
Rest my heart and soul, 'cuz' there can never be no more. Racking my brain. Going insane. Again and again. I wont keep going this way.
I remember how I walked into the squad room, and you were sitting at my desk. Your perfume was lingering, your hair gleaming, and I told myself, I said that today was the day, I was going to tell you how I felt. But then, I chickened out, I just turned and walked away. I pretended that I had work to do, pretended I couldn't go out to lunch with you. I wanted to, God how I wanted to, but sweetheart, I was afraid. And for that, I'm eternally sorry.
Crushing I'm so into you, don't know what I'm going to do. Gotta find a way to you. (and I wanna stress that I always missed)
(Crushed) Crushing I'm so into you, don't know what I'm going to do. Gotta find a way to you. (strongest love I ever felt)
(Crushed) Crushing I'm so into you, don't know what I'm going to do. Gotta find a way to you.
I tried. God did I try. I wrote you a letter, I rehearsed what I was going to say, I even bought you flowers. But each attempt never made it past my apartment door, and each token of my intense love for you left me feeling like I was drowning. And now you're gone, and I will never get to say how much I love you, how much I care for you, and tell you all the little things that made me love you all the more. I'm so sorry darling, I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry…
And so I'm left, short-of-breath. With that heavy feeling in my chest. Baby I'm so cruuuushed