Author's Notes: Whee!!! Another fic!! ^-^ dodges tomatoes And a song fic at that!! Whee!! dodges more tomatoes An Apple/Shu fic!! dodges third batch of tomatoes =P I don't like Apple/Sheena, so don't force me. *sigh* Yes, I know Apple divorced her husband and most people believe Sheena is the sonofab---- who cheated on her, but hey, who knows?? =P Oh the ANGST!!! *sob* BTW, I used the lyrics of Craig David's version, sings to the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop… drools Erm, ahem… This fanfic is *sorta* tied with my other in-progress fic "Who Is the Mysterious Magician Luc?" Read and review…
Disclaimer: Suikoden is not mine.
Human
(To the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop)
Listen to me heart… Stop beating for the one that caused you great pain…
Stop longing…
Stop aching…
(To
the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop)
But you never listen, do you?
Ah, the wonder of human emotions.
"Apple?" His voice pierced through her musings and brought her back to reality. Making her realize all over again that this was no nightmare, or some sort of sick joke. It was real. This was real.
Amber oculars opened; swollen from crying, sparkling with more tears that are yet to fall; and met with eyes of the deepest black. Black… such a depressing color. Tainted, dirty, impure… the color of deceptions and lies…
"What, is there more you must say??" Apple demanded. The tears fell from her eyes again. Damn. She hated crying. This crying. She has shed a lot of tears for him. Tears of longing, thinking he would never ever see her through a lover's eyes. Tears of dejection, when he refused to help her cause with his brilliant tactics. Tears of sadness—there was a time she thought he was dead… yet he was saved. And after several years of thinking she will never see him again… they met again, and like in a dream, she cried tears of joy then. For he finally loved her as she loved him.
But never has she cried tears of anguished disbelief. Until now…
Come on baby, dry your eyes
Wipe your tears
Never meant to see you cry
"Please… stop crying," Shu begged, his voice cracking with emotion.
"Stop… crying??" Apple hissed incredulously. "Oh, that's rich of you Shu, to ask me that."
"Please…" he reached out for her, his hands meaning to wipe the tears from her eyes. Apple slapped his hands away.
"I'm not doing you any favors," Apple shouted at him. "I will cry when I damn want to cry!!"
"Please… Apple… I… I love you…"
"You love me?.." Apple murmured, looking up at him through her blurry eyes. Oh, that sounds wonderful… I want to believe that Shu…
"Yes, I love you!"
But…
I can't… How can I? You… were unfaithful to me… "Stop it Shu!! Stop it!!" Apple screamed, putting her hands over her ears.
"Apple—"
"LIAR!!!" Apple pointed an accusing finger at him. "You love me you say??! Then why, why??! Why did you have to seek another woman's arms??! Why??! Am I not enough??!"
Shu choked down his own tears. "I didn't want to hurt you…"
I wouldn't ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
To fill this void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness
I should have known. It was never that easy.
It was only a matter of time. Highland was a nation of it's own. They wouldn't give up their independence that easily. Shu of course, in denial, chose to ignore this fact. Until the Dunan Alliance was jarred one day to see that, with Harmonia's help, Highland had risen against them, using the former Princess Jillia Blight as their uniting symbol.
And I, as the strategist of Dunan, must devise ways to defeat them once more…
In some parallel, perverse dimension, I would be giving up my position to seek a less stressful and tiresome way of life than this… Than planning how to snuff out many Highland lives as possible… I would be finding a home, in a quiet place of green fields, with my wife to live there until the end of our days… Carefree… Simply free…
Apple… He missed his wife. It had been so long… so long since he has last seen her. And who knows how long until they see each other again. Just as he was needed in the frontlines, to supervise the assault through the Muse Border, she was needed in North Window Castle to maintain the peace, order and the illusion that Dunan would surely succeed in suppressing the Highland Rebellion.
"Master Shu?" Came a voice from outside the tent.
"Come in, Wilma." Shu called to his assistant and she entered.
"I-I-I, I have tea Master Shu. I, for you, I made it, I made it for you." Wilma stuttered. The petite blonde's face had an expression that was so reminiscent of Apple's back then when she was his assistant. Flustered, troubled and anxious—Apple had seemed so young back then.
"Umm, Master Shu?" The girl ventured.
"I heard you," Shu couldn't help but snap.
"Oh, I, sorry, I am very, I'm sorry." Wilma apologized.
"It's no trouble." Shu said, making a slight gestured that signaled for her to leave.
"I will go now, Master, if I may?" Wilma asked.
"You may leave." Shu told her.
"Y-yes, I will leave Master Shu." Wilma said. "If there is anything you need—"
"Don't trouble yourself." Shu interrupted her. "I don't require anything."
"Yes, please, tell me, tell me please if there's anything…" Wilma said.
"I'll call you when there's anything I need." Shu stated pointedly. His assistant nodded and finally left. No, I don't need anything. Nothing that you can give, at least.
I wish to go home…
Oh Lady
I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
"I know I did one of the worst things that I could have ever done to you," Shu admitted. "But Apple, believe me, I didn't want to."
"Then why did you??!" Apple demanded. "That's what I'm asking you!!!"
"Because… I… couldn't help it…" Shu whispered raggedly.
"You couldn't help it?" Apple sobbed. "I heard that line from someone else before Shu, and you told me not to buy it."
"But Apple, that was different." Shu tried reasoning. "Sheena he cheated on you—"
"At least Sheena and I were not married!!" Apple yelled. "You told me not to put up with him!! And you told me that not all men were liars and cheats like him!!"
"But—"
"I believed you were different Shu!!" Apple cried. "I believed you were the better man!! I have always admired you, I thought you were the best and I thought it was a dream come true that you loved me!! But it turned out to be a nightmare Shu, and you know why?? Because I trusted you blindly, and you broke that trust!!"
"Apple…" Shu murmured. "I was just very lonely… I was not thinking… You weren't there…"
"And now you blame me for it!!!" Apple shouted, stomping her feet on the ground angrily. She was on the verge of hysteria. "HOW DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR YOUR MISTAKE!!!"
"I'm not blaming you!!" Shu insisted desperately.
If you want to say goodbye
That's your deal
I'll just have to serve my time
'Til you're near, Lady
"I'm not blaming you…" Shu repeated. "And… now… I would not blame you if you want to leave me…"
"Oh, is that what you want??!" Apple questioned harshly. "You want me to leave you so you can live happily with your little secretary, is that it??!"
"That's not what I want!!" Shu said firmly. "Please… Please don't put the words in my mouth…"
"It doesn't matter!!" Apple threw her arms up in a gesture of despair. "I don't care what you want!! I'll leave and that's that!!" She stalked out of the sitting room, making her way into the bedchamber. Shu followed her.
"I don't blame you…" Shu said as he watched Apple pack messily, throwing her clothes in a suitcase. "I'll just wait for you… here…"
I wouldn't ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
To fill this void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness
"Master Shu?"
Apple?
"Master Shu??"
Apple?
"Master Shu!!!"
Shu shook his head and looked around. No, this is not North Window Castle; rather, this is the smelly tent in the camp… He sat up and rested against the wooden headboard of his bed. "What are you doing here Wilma?"
"I was just checking on you, Master Shu." Wilma replied.
"I see, you may leave now." Shu waved her off.
"Is there anything you need, Master Shu?" Wilma asked.
"You always ask me that." Shu mused, looking at her lazily with his sleepy eyes. "Hmm?" Shu leaned forward slightly and cupped her chin in his hand.
"I, I, I, well, that's… that's my job…" Wilma answered breathlessly. She spied the empty bottle on his table. "You have been drinking again, Master Shu?"
"Hmm, that is none of your business, you are not my wife." Shu grumbled.
"True…" Wilma nodded.
"You ask too many questions… like her," Shu chuckled. Though tipsy, he managed to push the girl down on the bed and pinned her to it. "Always seeming too young."
"Master?"
Apple… "Didn't I tell you to call me Shu?"
"No, Master, you didn't."
Ah, Apple, you silly little girl. "I did. I always did."
"B-but, I'll call you that if you want—"
Good girl. "Come closer Apple."
"Master??"
"Don't you want to?" Don't you miss me Apple? You know, I missed you…
"I, I, I, I—I don't mind…"
Oh Lady
I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
"I'm sorry…" Shu said hoarsely.
"Sorry??!" Apple cried. "SORRY??! Do you really think 'sorry' is going to make everything right??!"
"No," Shu looked down on the floor. "But… I wanted you to know that… Apple, there is not a minute I did not regret what I did, not a second that guilt did not eat away at me. If only I could turn back time… I would have tried to be stronger—"
"No, you couldn't help it, could you??!" Apple sneered. "You told me you couldn't help it. You would have done the same thing over and over again!!!"
"If I had known better then—"
"Oh stop it Shu," Apple cut in. "You're too good with words. You can make it seem like you're right, you're good, like you can do no wrong!!! As if you were all perfect!!!"
"I'm far from perfect, Apple…" Shu told her sadly. "I never claimed to be."
"………"
(To the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat clocking on, stop, stop
To the heartbeat tocking on, stop, stop)
Perhaps… but you came so close!! Apple brought her hands up to cover her face, as a fresh wave of sobs overcame her. She slumped down on her knees, crying.
I'm sorry Apple… I wanted to be perfect… for you… Shu knelt down on the floor and wrapped his arms around her.
I always believed… As if you were some charming prince out of a fairy tale, that you would never lie to me… never hurt me… never make me cry. Apple roughly wiped the tears off her face. But I was wrong. I'm always wrong.
"I love you…" He whispered in her ear. "Nothing can change that."
And I, I love you too!! With great difficulty, Apple pushed him away. I still love you!! But this…
I'm only human
What am I supposed to do?
I'm only human, lady
Shu did not follow Apple as she strode out of their room. She was leaving; leaving him, their friends, the whole of North Window Castle. She was leaving, but he would not stop her, he would not be able to anyway, as much as he wanted to.
There is no perfect man… no man who can make you change your mind…
Apple… when you realize that…
I will be here…
Author's Notes again: Aww!!! T.T *sniff,sniff* I really like Apple/Shu. But even if they did end up together, they would have fallen apart, *sniff*. I don't like Sheena/Apple and yes, I do realize that more people think Sheena was Apple's husband, but hey, it's a free world in fanfiction. Note that I'll probably edit this soon… On a whim… Because, hey… this fanfic was made on a whim…