Amy sat at her windowsill, looking at all the depressing stuff around her. She hated this town. She hated all of the other, inferior hedgehogs. She was better than all the rest, and she knew it. Her luxurious pink velvet-esque coat was proof enough. Every hedgehog man loved her and yet there was only one hedgehog man for her. It was Sonic! But he hated her guts ever since she stalked him during the events of Sonic Heroes and the two had stopped speaking since then. Sonic was also seeing this other stupid bimbo slut named Sally. That never stopped Amy from getting her man!
Hi there. I am Brendaniel at Brendaniel reads. People think that I am Markiplier. But I am not. I'm a clone of Markiplier made by Doctor Eggman in order to try and seduce Amy Rose into becoming my slave-bride and making hedgehog-human Markiplier sounding babies to rule the world. I also read other kinds of fanfiction, ones even worse than this one, which you can listen to at my YouTube channel, if this was a video, click in the top right corner for more of this kind of stuff. And if you like my character and my voice reading this story, then go over to Pateron and give me money because I'm human garbage which if this was a video then I'd tell you to click the bottom right-hand corner. If you want to buy t-shirts with my sexy face on them, click the upper left-hand corner if this was a video. And lastly, if you want something completely unrelated to this and if this was a video, click the bottom left-hand corner for another random fanfiction. (A/N: read the story that started this one, even though this is a prequel, The One with Amy Hedgehog, 2 Uncles and Brendaniel!).
Back to the story, I was going up to my very humble apartment when SUDDENLY I tripped on one of the stairs like the lankey doofus I am. Amy heard my screams of torment and she came outside to come and help me. She didn't know of Eggman's evil plans and thus out of the kind sexiness of her heart, she helped me get on my feet once again and dusted me off.
"Hi! My name is Amy Rose and I'm a hedgehog." She said in one short little breath. I knew who she was so I ignored her boring face.
"I'm Brendaniel." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I was hung over from drinking too much of Mountain Dew's new alcoholic product for my reviews. It tasted like crap, of course, like crappy Sierra Mist or 7 up but with caffeine and alcohol.
"You live here?" She asked like a retard. No, I live in a sewer near here and I was just climbing up the stairs to go to someone else's apartment and live there for no damn reason is what I wanted to tell her.
"Yep. Bye." I said, running up the rest of the stairs without talking more. I had just met Amy for the first time and I already hated her guts. Like how my father hates mine. I think. I don't know.
As I locked my apartment door behind me, I could hear Garfield's sexy new party going on in the apartment next to mine. Thin walls are among my worst enemies. Along with Doritos and Sonichu.
"YEAAAHHHHHH LET'S GET CRUNNNK" Some random basic white girl screamed from next door with a bunch of 'YEAHS' in response to her. I sobbed. This was my life. My horrible, disgusting life. Listening to random bitches get high next door to me, living with two cockroaches named Bob and Paulette who hated me and stole all my food so I had to go to Pateron to get food. Gamestop fired me earlier that day because I was too sexy and customers started complaining about being pregnant with me even though I was faithful to my one true love - Mountain Dew. Then Mountain Dew, in her tall green sexiness, broke up with me because of the nasty rumors! I was all alone then, at least that is what I thought.
The rushed knocking came from my apartment door. I slowly rose from my rotting couch to answer it. It was Garfield, with my ex-girlfriend Mountain Dew! I only looked through the peephole and refused to open the door for that asshole. I pulled out some Doritos in order to attempt a suicide. Doritos are so mean and vengeful to me just the opening of their bag is enough to make them pounce on me with pure hate. Then I got a phone call before I could open the bag. Being drunk still, I answered the phone without looking.
"Oh hey!" Amy said, her voice hitting my ears like a ton of constipated bricks. I moaned in pain, not in pleasure at the sound of her voice. It irritated me and my clonish ears. Yet I still listened. "Hope you don't mind that I got your number from Garfield. He said you were depressed and needed some help. Wanna come hang out with me and Sonic tomorrow at Sonic's?"
I scowled. THAT Sonic's was where Sonichu worked after getting one of his kids pregnant with an unwanted hedgehog-pikachu abomination. I decided that in fact, it would be a good idea to go over there to taunt that stupid yellow hedgehog who destroyed my hopes and dreams of being the #1 Gamestop employee of America and China. (hehe China is vagina to CWC!) So I agreed to the date and then proceeded to fall asleep in my darkly lit bathroom inside of my lonely bathtub named Bob. Bob liked me a little too much. Thankfully his wife was the toilet so it was all okay.
THE END (for now)