For honesty! ...And for KaiRei!
The fire crackles, sending shadows skittering around the walls. You turn to me and smile.
If only you meant it.
If only you had the guts to tell me the truth.
"So...any plans for tomorrow?" You ask, voice soft. I shrug, smile back.
"Not really. You?"
"Oh, Kai's planning a nice long training session. I think he just likes working us like slaves." A little laugh. A -fake- laugh. I know exactly what Kai will be doing to you tomorrow, and it isn't training. I can't believe you haven't found it in your heart to just tell me you're seeing him.
I would hate you if I didn't care about you so much.
I do hate the fact that you think it's okay to keep lying to me.
"I, uh...Mariah, do you want to come for a walk with me when training is over?" I can't stand it. I can't stand it. "...Mariah?"
"No. I'd rather you stayed in bed with Kai." Your face drops, falling through shock, fear and sadness. It settles on something between apology and regret.
"Mariah..."
"Don't bother."
"I-"
"You could have just told me. Instead of being a coward and trying to lie your way through it!"
"I-I was going to tell you..."
"When, Rei? How much were you going to lie to me? Till we kissed? Till we had sex? Till we got -married-?" I hiss, shifting away from the hand you reach out to me.
"I...I just didn't want to hurt you..."
"So you lied to me instead?" You look away, and I can see tears glittering in your eyes. "What are you crying for? I've known for weeks, and I kept waiting and waiting for you to tell me and you haven't! You COWARD! How do you think it made me feel, knowing that you were lying to me every time you saw me?" You bow your head.
"I...I was scared." Your voice is so low that I barely hear it. But I hear it. And I feel a little bit of my anger ebb away.
"Why?"
"Because...I...no-one else knows, Mariah...and I...I was so scared..."
"That I would go round telling everyone?"
"No! Just...that...I don't know...I just..." You sniff. "I just...I don't want people to think any less of me because of...because I'm..."
"Gay." You nod, wiping your eyes.
"I wanted to tell you. But I thought you would be upset and I thought...maybe you would tell Lee, and Lee would hate me, and then...then everyone would hate me and I..." I can see the corner of your lip tugging down. And I know you hate to cry.
I reach out and touch your arm. And you burst into tears, turning and grabbing hold of me. "I'm sorry..." You snuffle into my shoulder, fingers scrabbling at my clothes. "I'm so sorry!" I can't feel angry at you any more. All I can do is hug you tightly.
"He'd better be nice to you, Rei." You sniffle, laughing softly.
"No, he beats me. Under my clothes I'm black and blue."
"I mean it. If he ever does anything to hurt you..." You laugh and hug me back.
"That's how -I'm- supposed to act when -you- get together with someone!"
"Well tough. You can tell him from me, if he ever makes you cry he'll regret it! He might be tough and he might be half a foot taller than me but he'll still cry if I rip off his dick!" Your head jerks up.
"Mariah!"
"What?"
"Since when did you talk like that?" I shrug, feigning nonchalance.
"Since I've been talking to Bryan." Your mouth opens with shock and you laugh triumphantly, pointing.
"I knew it! I knew it!" Then you look concerned. "...Be careful if you get together with Bryan, okay? He's not...completely..."
"Sane?"
"I was going to say stable, but yeah. Sane. Be careful." I roll my eyes.
"I can look after myself. I'm a big girl now."
"Even big girls need big brothers to worry about them."
"And even big brothers need little sisters to worry about -them-." You smile and hug me closer.
"I...I'm glad you're not..."
"Crying like a little girl?" You snort.
"Cheek. But yeah. I...I never wanted to hurt you or anything...but it was so hard, to think...well, should I tell you or not? And then...I could never find the right time, and...it was so...hard..."
"I forgive you. But...well..."
"But?" I smile, resting my head against yours.
"About the Bryan thing..."
"Don't worry, I'm already setting you up. You don't have a choice. Bryan's getting a girlfriend whether he wants one or not. My little sister needs a boyfriend now she doesn't have a fake one to ruin things for her." I smile, but say nothing.
I get the feeling things are going to be a lot more honest between me and you from now on.
R&R please!