Kiss With Open Eyes
Rating: T
Warnings: Excessive blood and morbidity
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own. Not making money. Simple as that.
Summary: With his light lying dead in his arms, the Pharaoh has just enough time for hopeless kisses...kisses with no life...kisses with open eyes.
Author's Notes: What? Another death-fic? Well...actually, I've been playing Karaoke Revolution pretty much every day since I've lost all rhythm for DDR...bad attitude and no sleep, actually...but anyways on it there's a song called 'Pain' and there's one line in the chorus, "Kiss with open eyes." The fic misses the point of the song entirely, but I've based it off of that one line. So...here you go. Depressing fic, here we go. Woo.
Bloody hands…my hands are bloody, and I know that I did it. I know that I made them this way. Yet it was an accident, a mistake…but it couldn't have been, because I knew exactly what I was doing; I knew that if I went through with this then there would be nothing that I could do to go back.
Yet I did it anyway, I took that knife and every time you spoke to me to try to make me stop…I swung, and you screamed and pleaded as I slashed at you again and again…you fell and you sat weak and scared on the ground, looking at me with those wide vibrant amethyst eyes…but they weren't so wide anymore as they were closing, and…they weren't so vibrant anymore, either…
Yet even then I did not understand what I did wrong.
And then you fell onto your back…I remember every movement that you made as your body fell…your index finger twitched…your face was twisted in fear and pain as you lay sprawled, waiting for death's sweet melody…and then you said my name…
…Yami…
I know now that its not my real name…but its our name. What you call me. Everyone else calls me Atemu…but now…I know that no one will be able to call me Yami again…that name is lost to me…
…And when I realized this…the weight of what I did hit me…and the sharp pointed knife hit the stained-red carpet and I followed it…my face slack…my red eyes dulled to a mere lackluster.
I stare into your face now…and I know that it is still beautiful…I killed everything else, though…I killed every single damn thing that was still beautiful about you, to the point that…that…
A sob finally escapes me as I finger your hand…You're not my aibou anymore…either…not my aibou. You're not my partner anymore…you are no longer even my light. I made you into…nothing…
Another sob…a few burning hot tears…salt leaks into my mouth, and I normally don't like salt…but right now, I don't care. My fingers travel up to your blood-stained lips, and I wipe it all away, leaving petal-soft transparent skin in its wake.
My other hand lifts you up ever-so-softly, and I embrace you tightly. Your blood stains my clothes…I can no longer smell your clean fresh scent…all that fills my nose is the heavy stench of blood…your blood…
Your weight is dead…there is nothing left to somehow help me hold you…like before…when we lay in bed…satisfied and content with each other…your weight as I held you then was comfortable…light…I loved it…I still do. But not now…now…
…I made you this way…
My sobs are now choking me as I look into your open eyes…blood is trickling down your face, and I don't understand how I could have done this to you…anyone that even dared to touch you in the past always died…
…I killed them.
A thought in my head, I tear my gaze away from your death mask and fix it on the knife stained with your blood…I killed them…my mouth is open stupidly as I bore my eyes into the blade…
And now I look back at you, still staring at nothing with your amethyst eyes…I wish that I can see them again…not this dull fake…but your eyes…your violet eyes that I will always love…
But I'm paying for my mistakes, and so I pull you closer and place a kiss on your dead lips…this is not how we are supposed to kiss, though…Yugi…this is not how we always did kiss…it was always a game for us, a playful battle for dominance…and…
Tears are now falling down my face at a higher rate…I can never go back…I can never apologize, for what I did was unforgivable…yet I kiss you again, hoping for some spark, some return…anything…I keep kissing you, five, six, seven times, but your mouth stays still…your eyes stay open…
I remember you told me once that you could never kiss with open eyes…yet I can't remember why…was there even a why? No…it was only a feeling…and that's all…just a feeling…
Yugi…you gave me life when you solved the Millennium Puzzle and set me free…
I free one of my hands from your cold skin and feel around the still-damp carpet for the knife…my finger slides across the edge and my skin breaks, but…I don't care, I really don't. I don't care about the blood running down my palm, tainting my wristband…
And I killed you.
My bloody fist clenches around the hilt of the blade…I cannot tell what the material is, but I do not care; it doesn't matter.
You gave me hope when I thought that everything was going black.
My arm rises to my neck, where I can feel my heart dully pounding in my throat. I don't even care, do I? I don't care about what I'm about to do, do I? My non-responsive heart tells me the answer.
But I made you dark…black…and there's no hope in the shadows.
I stare at you again, and I force myself not to try to kiss you again…yet I can't…my arm drops and I still try to get some life out of you…ten, eleven, twelve…but how can life come from nothing at all? Your lips are soft on mine, and I know that they will always be soft…but what about fiery? I…
Yugi, you gave me love…you cared about me when everyone else was mad…you loved me when I was hated by everyone…you loved me like no one else in the universe…there is no one else like you.
My arm flies towards my neck and a pain wracked trail of blood is left behind…it hurts…I didn't think that it would hurt…
My hand finds yours, Yugi, and I squeeze it tightly…it's going to be the last time feeling something soft…because I'll never be able to pay for what I did…there is no going back.
I fall, and I lay sprawled across your body, our life-blood mixing together, fusing…but not our souls. Our souls are separate…and no matter how many times I try to kiss those lips of yours and try to wake you up…fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…there is no more trying…there is nothing…
I had no clue that it would hurt this much…and…this is just one gash across my jugular…but you…you are covered in injuries…bleeding gashes that screamed just as you screamed…begged just as you begged…You were hurting so bad, and…now you're gone…
But I took it away. I made it so that you can't even love anymore, Yugi…yet I know that you…you still love me…after what I did…and I still love you…I'll…I'll always love you…with a fiery passion…always…
I take my last breath, and I feel my body go slack over yours…we'll be together until someone finds us…and then we'll be separated…forever…Now I'm gone, too…I'm gone, too…
But without that spark of life…fire…love is nothing…
Just like we…are nothing.
Author's Notes::sniff: Okay, so...hmm...I'm not really sure how well that was written, but its supposed to sound broken, as Yami's thoughts are definitely going to be broken after what happened.
Yeah, yeah...another death-fic...so!
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