This fanfic is my take at Akun50's Unique Power Ups challenge. I hope he doesn't mind that I made this without him/her knowing about it. I also like to thank Legendary Legacy for making this known to me. His version of this challenge is great and I recommend you read it.

There is a theme for the Power Ups given to Team Seven here.

Let me just make this clear that although this fic is intended to be in the genre of humor, humor is subjective and a matter of perspective. I cannot guarantee that you'll find this funny even in the slightest. And since this is intended to be a parody, be sure NOT TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

Quite frankly, I don't think I did well on this. Revised for the fourth and final time.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or pretty much any of the 'Power Ups' featured here.

"Normal Talking"

'Normal Thinking'

And now, on with the fic. And advance Merry Christmas to all of you.

Kakashi decided that his new students had waited long enough and finally showed himself. When he opened the door, he was met with something rather unexpected. It was his new students. There was something up and about them which seemed quite odd and a little bit baffling.

They weren't bored as most might expect from waiting for too long. They weren't upset that he was late and made them wait. No, it was neither one of those.

What Kakashi had newly discovered about his students was that they… were all smiling with their eyes closed. They had serene and seemingly sincere smiles which showed no signs of any other emotion other than happiness. But a nagging feeling at the back of his mind told him that there was nothing to be happy about their smiles.

"My first impression of all of you is that you're all strange."

Normally, normal people would react negatively to being called odd. In fact, normal people would just plain give a reaction. At least Naruto should have retorted at that. But no, not one of them. Their smiles remained plastered on their faces, unwavering, unyielding.

The trio may not have reacted but it did catch their attention and they looked intently at their jounin sensei. "The roof. Now." Kakashi ordered.

On the roof, Team Seven was gathered and seated.

"So let's begin introducing ourselves to each other." Kakashi said dully

"Why do we need to do that?" asked Naruto "I already know these two and they know me." Kakashi couldn't be sure but he may have detected a hint of sarcasm coming from Naruto.

"Regardless. It's something we should do as a team." Kakashi said solemnly

"Okay, okay." Naruto didn't press further.

Sakura then asked "So what do you want to know about us, Kakashi-sensei?"

"The basic things really." Answered the Copy Ninja. "Your name, your likes, your dislikes, your hobbies and your dreams."

"You go first then." Naruto suggested but it sounded more like an order.

"Fine." Kakashi sighed. "If it makes you happy. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like many things. I really don't have that many dislikes. My dreams? Well I never thought about that. As for my hobbies, I have lots of hobbies."

"Well that wasn't very nice of you, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said somewhat mockingly.

"Yeah, Naruto's right." Sasuke agreed with Naruto.

Those made Kakashi raise an eyebrow. The trio couldn't see that due Kakashi's forehead protector covering his eyebrows. What made Kakashi's eyebrow rise was the fact that Sasuke had sided with what Naruto said. There was no reluctance or hesitation in his voice when he said it. The Sasuke he knew, or at least knew of, would never agree to anything Naruto would say. He wouldn't openly object but he wouldn't agree as well.

"You only told us your name, Kakashi-sensei. You didn't tell us anything us about yourself."

Kakashi did not want to waste anytime trying to explain himself to his genin team. He pointed at Naruto and said "You, blondie, tell us about yourself."

"I'll go then. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like only certain things. One of them being Dried Persimmons and Persimmon Trees. I dislike a lot of things. My hobbies to fun have at the expense of others. And I have no goals."

Kakashi's only visible eye shifted slowly to the right. What Naruto had said caught the gray-haired jounin by surprise. From what he has heard about Naruto from various people particularly Iruka, Teuchi and Ayame, the boy loved Ramen, not Dried Persimmons. What he hated was waiting for the Ramen to cook. His hobbies were rather obvious. But what Kakashi didn't know was that Naruto was not referring to the pranks he used to play. But it was the boy's goal, or lack of, which what really boggled him. It was clear to everyone the boy aspired to be Hokage.

So the question currently running through Kakashi's mind was 'What brought this sudden change?' But then Kakashi thought 'There is that sound of mockery and sarcasm in his voice. This could all be a trick to annoy me.'

"Pinky, you next." He pointed to Sakura

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like to smile, Chiffon Cakes and all my friends especially Ticy and Eugene."

Kakashi made a mental note that there isn't anybody in Konoha who goes by the names of, what was it, Tisi and Yujin?

And Sakura went on "I also like naps since they're good for the skin. I don't like bullies or anybody who makes others feel bad about themselves. I also dislike the Nova. My goals are to continue on smiling, find happiness and protect my friends from all threats but especially from the Nova."

'So that's why she, in particular, is smiling. Rather naïve way of thinking.' Kakashi mentally commented 'And I here I thought she was going to blubber on about Sasuke.' Kakashi mentally sighed 'Oh well, it's nowhere near as unexpected as what Naruto said.'

"Sakura, what is this Nova you mentioned?"

"Wha...? You don't know Kakashi-sensei? How can you not know?!" Sakura sounded genuinely distress at the fact that he didn't know. "The Nova are a mysterious race of Interdimensional Aliens who are attacking are planet for reasons only they can understand!"

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei, how can you not know something that important?" Naruto added in for the sake of insult.

"Duck-ass haircut, you're up." The Uchiha boy did not, at all, take badly to being called 'Duck-ass'.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like to fight powerful opponents. I hate showing weakness. My goals… I have two goals. One of them is to kill my older brother, Uchiha Itachi. I would kill my father but my brother beat me to it. My second goal is to establish the Yato Clan here in Konoha." The Uchiha boy sounded so cheerful as he said it yet…

Kakashi found it a bit disturbing just as to how Sasuke could say such serious, threatening and boastful words while looking harmless due to his smile.

"Uh, Sasuke, don't you mean the Uchiha Clan?" Kakashi asked while Sakura pressed a finger to her chin as she too was thinking the same. Naruto didn't seem to care.

"Nope. I said Yato Clan. I have no intentions of reviving a clan like the Uchiha."

Kakashi wondered how and why Sasuke could keep smiling as he slightly degraded his clan so casually. But there was something else that Sasuke said which was brought into question. "Why do you want to kill your father?" It was Naruto who asked.

Sasuke's answer "It's a tradition of the Yato to kill their parents as a test of strength."

Kakashi seriously had no idea by now of what Sasuke was talking about. He had never heard of this Yato Clan or of any tradition where killing your parents was a test of strength.

"Ooohhh… Interesting." was all Naruto could say.

But Sakura, on the other hand "That's not nice, Sasuke-kun. You shouldn't go out and kill your family members. It's not right."

"Being nice is a form of weakness, Sakura. And I hate weaknesses." There was a threat to his words but his smile made it somewhat difficult for Kakashi to catch on. But somehow Kakashi just knew that Sasuke's smile was not meant to indicate happiness. He now made an educated guess that Naruto's smile was meant to be insulting.

"Perhaps, I should teach you a lesson in being nice, Sasuke-kun." There was also a threat in her words but the smile made it difficult to be convincing.

Now Kakashi had seen plenty of killers in his life. He had met a lot of people who weren't what they first appeared to be. But his students' way of looking harmless while making serious sounding threats was kind of unsettling.

"That's enough the both of you." Kakashi commanded. "Save your energies for tomorrow."

"What's happening tomorrow, Ka~ka~shi-sensei~" Naruto sang Kakashi's name. The sarcasm ever present.

"Tomorrow will be your real test to become genin. Be at the trainings grounds on time. And don't eat anything or you'll vomit."

The second he finished his instructions, his students leaped away like the Shinobi they are. Kakashi was now alone. He pinched the bridge of his nose at how unexpectedly frustrating his students were. "What is wrong with them? They acted… so out of character. Either they all did a complete one-eighty or… this is some sort of prank Naruto thought of. If their objective was to annoy me, then it's a very good one."

"And if it is a prank, how did Naruto get Sakura and Sasuke to play along. And their smiles, what was up with all that. Each smile displayed a different intention. Sakura was the only one among them whose smile seemed sincere. Well, I better set them straight tomorrow."

But despite what Kakashi concluded, he couldn't help but feel that everything he had seen and heard from his students were true, genuine and absolutely real.

At the training grounds, Kakashi observed from a distance his students. If he thought they were acting out of character the day before, what he saw today made him think again. They changed again but this time, a lot. The trio was still smiling with closed eyes though.

First up was Naruto. Naruto's smile now made him look like a fox. Kakashi just knew it wasn't a good sign. Naruto's hair was no longer spiky. It was now well combed. His old orange jumpsuit was replaced by a traditional black Shihakusho with a white hakama over it. His hakama also had the number three imprinted at the back. He also had a wakizashi strapped to his hip.

'Now where did he get that and since when did he start using a wakizashi.'

Then he turned to Sasuke. His hair was long which was tied into a braid and reached his lower back. He was also wearing the traditional clothes of a martial artist. It was black with sleeves which went all the way to his elbows. His gray pants reached the middle of his lower legs. He was also equipped with…

'An umbrella? I swear I'm flunking these three back into the Academy if I find Sakura is using something along the lines of a golf club.'

And speaking of Sakura, her hair was cut at shoulder length. Her hairstlye was very different from the one she had yesterday. She had one strand of hair tied in a white ribbon. But her clothes were what got Kakashi really baffled. Sakura wore a short skirt with long white stockings. Her top and her skirt were colored purple. Her long sleeves had a logo which said 'West Genetics'. Kakashi just could not recognize her clothes. 'What the hell is West Genetics?'

But then, Kakashi noticed something else about Sakura. It may probably be the biggest change she has had so far. Kakashi could clearly remember Sakura being as flat as an ironing board yesterday. Now today, Sakura's breasts were bigger. Bigger than the size appropriate for 12 year olds.

'They're fake. They must be fake. There's no other explanation for it. Breasts don't grew that big overnight.' Kakashi concluded. 'Seriously, what is up with these three? Their smile was one thing but now they've change their clothes. And their hair style… what's that all about? He sighed "Better get this over with."

Kakashi appeared in a poof of smoke before his students. "You're late." they said but Sakura was the only one who actually sound upset. The other two sounded uncaring.

"You should be more punctual, Kakashi-sensei." Coming from the new Naruto, that was an insult and Kakashi just knew it.

If this is prank, like he made himself think it is, he was just going to have to set it straight to his students that this is not how true Shinobi should act. A smile like the ones they were projecting should be backed up with skill, great skill. If they were intending to use their smiles as a means of intimidation, then they better be prepared to fight if it doesn't work.

As for their clothes, it wasn't up to him to tell them about what clothes they should wear. But he will have to admit, Naruto's new clothes were definitely better than his old ones.

The Copy Ninja brought out two bells. "Before it gets noon, your job is to take these two bells from me. Those who succeed will pass the test. The one who fails will be sent back to the academy."

Kakashi was expecting some kind of negative reaction to come from his students, especially from Naruto. But he was met with silence. "In addition to returning to the academy, the one who fails will be tied to a tree and will not receive any lunch." Once again, pure silence.

'It must be too early in the day for crickets and it's either they really don't care or this is a part of their prank.'

"Come at me with killer intent otherwise you'll surely fail." For some reason which Kakashi could not ponder, it elicited a reaction from his students.

"Are you sure about that Kakashi-sensei?" the mocking tune in Naruto voice was ever present.

"Well if it's what sensei said. But let me warn you, once I start I don't stop until my opponents either dead or asleep"

If Sakura was trying to bluff, it wasn't working. Kakashi knew for a fact that Sakura had the least physical capabilities of the three.

Sasuke let out a small laugh "Okay but if we do kill you, Naruto and Sakura here are witnesses to what you instructed us. It will be fun to see how strong you are."

"Sure, Sasuke, whatever floats your boat." Kakashi set the timer and announced "Begin."

Sasuke hurried to the trees. Sakura just seemed to disappear. Naruto, on the other hand, drew his wakizashi.

Kakashi pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise. "Are you going to fight me with that wakizashi? Come at me then. Or are you going to throw it at me?" He tried to insult the boy.

But it failed. "This isn't a wakizashi."

"Oh really?" It was Kakashi's turn to try and be sarcastic.

"This is a Zanpakuto." It failed since Naruto wasn't even in the slightest fazed by it.

'What is a Zanpakuto?' he asked himself.

It was like as if Naruto knew what his sensei was thinking, he said "Don't worry. You're about to find out what it is and what it can do." Kakashi did not take the Yondaime's son serious. He is going to regret that.

Kakashi expected Naruto to charge at him with his wakizashi. But like the trend his three students have been setting lately. Naruto did the exact opposite. Naruto then reeled back with his wakizashi aimed at his sensei.

'So he is going to threw it at me. That stance of his is all wrong.' Kakashi would have chuckled if not for the semi-strong wind which suddenly came into existence. Then Kakashi realized it must be coming from the son of his dead teacher. The wind was acting like it was drawing him to Naruto's wakizashi.

"Ikoroze, Shinso." Kakashi's visible eye widen at the sight of Naruto's wakizashi glowing then extending its length at bullet speed straight at him.

Kakashi's mind screamed "SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!"

Luckily for him, Naruto missed. "Aw… I missed." He sounded genuinely disappointed "I was aiming for your head." Shinso missed Kakashi's head by a few inches.

'Aiming for your head.' Naruto's words echoed in Kakashi's mind. 'Is he truly trying to kill me?'

"Looks like I pierced your book, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said.

It was true. Shinso got Kakashi's Icha Icha instead. Before the silver-haired student of the Fourth Hokage could respond accordingly, Naruto twisted his still extended Zanpakuto and aimed the bladed side at Kakashi again. Kakashi ducked. This left Shinso to cut down several hundred trees.

The Zanpakuto started returning to its original size. Kakashi, uncharacteristic of a ninja, took his eye off Naruto and stared at the devastation Naruto had inflicted on the trees.

"When was he capable of doing that?!"

Kakashi brought his attention back at Naruto and saw the boy preparing his blade again and the wakizashi did as it has done previously.

Kakashi quickly drew out a couple kunai and made a shield out of them. The kunai did stop the Naruto's attack from connecting but the force behind it was strong enough to destroy a few of them and it pushed Kakashi into the forest. The blade retracted not long after.

Kakashi relaxed but his senses as a ninja kicked in. Good thing too because there was Sasuke about to deliver to his head a roundhouse kick. Kakashi blocked it with his arms. Boy that was going to cause a few hairline fractures. 'How the fuck did he get this strong?' thought the Copy Nin as the kick sent him back a few meters away on the ground.

"Did that hurt, Kakashi-sensei?" asked a smiling Sasuke "Naruto has had his try at taking your life. Let me have a go at killing you, Kakashi- sensei."

Sasuke attacked Kakashi with a barrage of punches and kicks with a swing from his umbrella every now and then. Kakashi did an excellent job of either dodging or blocking Sasuke's attack. Sasuke went on and Karate Chop(?) the trees and subsequently kicked them Kakashi's way.

"When are you going to start taking me seriously Kakashi-sensei? I'll kill you if you don't" Sasuke didn't sound insulted or irritated when as said that. It was more like an invitation. "But don't worry. I'll pay my respects to you by smiling."

Sasuke then delivered several punches to Kakashi's torso. The Uchiha boy kicked him on the square on the sternum followed by a hard smack upwards with his umbrella. Kakashi was sent flying out of the treetops. Back on the ground, Sasuke looked on as his teacher flew and gave him a wave of goodbye, his smile never leaving his face. "I'll let Sakura finished him off." He said as Kakashi fell beneath the tree line.

Within the ten seconds in which Kakashi was flying in the sky, he came to realize two things.

The sudden changes in his students aren't prank. Now he was certain of it. Their changes also came with a new set of skills. Their smiles truly came with skills.

Sasuke never used an umbrella. He maybe the number one rookie of the year but he was never that good at hand-to-hand combat. He was also never that physically strong as to single-handedly chop trees. But yet, he was on par with Maito Gai. He also noted that Sasuke has plenty of opportunities to take the bells from him.

Then there was Naruto. He also never had any training in using swords of any kind. But screw that, that sword had some fancy powers. He could only hope Sakura didn't develop any new powers.

The second realization was the fact that the aforementioned students were out to kill him, not take the bells but kill him.

All in all, Kakashi should have probably realized this a whole lot sooner. Kakashi was brought out of his thoughts when the feeling of leaves and twigs met his body and face. Or more rather, his face was hitting twigs and leaves while his butt was impacting hard branches. Kakashi landed on his butt hard on the ground which added pain to his already aching posterior.

"Are you all right, Kakashi-sensei?" It was Sakura and on her right arm was a monstrous gauntlet. "I really hope you aren't because I may just kill you in the process of me trying to take the bells from you."

The good news is Sakura was still interested in the bells. The bad news is Sakura was still intending in inflicting pain upon him.

Kakashi reached up to his forehead protector to uncover his Sharingan Eye. About time too. But just as his hand grasped his forehead protector, Sakura's gauntlet took hold of his wrist in a vice like grip pulled it quite forcefully away from his forehead protector. All that did was add more pain to his already injured appendage.

"Don't be unfair, Kakashi-sensei. You didn't use it on either Naruto or Sasuke so you shouldn't use it on me." Sakura's smile turned sinister. She readied her left arm, which now also had a gauntlet, to punched Kakashi.

But luck smiled down on Kakashi. A hand touched Sakura's shoulder and it made her stop. Behind Sakura were Naruto and Sasuke.

"Sakura, wait. Don't fight him." Naruto adviced and Sakura lowered her left arm but kept her right hand's grip on Kakashi's head.

"Why not, Naruto-kun?"

'Since when did Sakura use that prefix on Naruto's name?'

"You see, Naruto and I found out Kakashi's sensei real intent about this test."

"You did?"

"Yeah. This was never really about the bells. This test is about teamwork, isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Y-yes, yes! It's all a-about t-t-teamwork." Oh god, his arm was in excrutiating pain from the grip of Sakura's guantlet that it made him statter. In fact, they were too badly injured thanks to Sasuke to force Sakura to let him go.

"Now you know, Sakura, why you can't fight him."

"Of course. In order for all three of us to pass…" Sakura

"We must…" Sasuke

"Fight him together..." Naruto

"As a team." Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. The three showered their already beaten sensei with their smiles "Isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?".

All around Konoha, everyone was disrupted from their usual daily routine by the sound of a horrified scream. The citizens and the Shinobi of the Hidden Village of the Leaf all turned their head, looked at each other and asked themselves "Was that Kakashi?"

Well there you have it. My first Naruto fanfic. I hope you enjoyed it. Fight scenes are hard to write.

The theme for this fic, of course, are characters who smile with their eyes closed. For all those who couldn't guess:

Naruto - Ichimaru Gin from Bleach

Sasuke - Kamui from Gintama

Sakura - Chiffon Fairchild from Freezing

I really hope I got Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke correctly in character in correspondence to the character they're supposed to be portraying.

Review, comment, constructively criticize. Flames will be used to feed Natsu in order to cook C.C.'s pizza.