I'm a criminal, a man chased by the law. A bounty on my head, constantly fighting and escaping the marines and bounty hunters. I've committed crimes so horrid that only a true soldier will approach me.

"Oi, you!" A voice broke him from his thoughts, Theo turned his head slightly and looked at the marine who had spoke. His face was uneasy. "Stop pissing on that bench!" He raised his musket, reinforcing his words.

Theo looked at the heavy stream leading from him and then back to the barrel of the soldiers gun.

"I can't," he passed out, the collective of fear, alcohol and the mornings early hour being all too much.

OoOoO

"So... are we going to arrest him?" One marine addressed another.

"Yeah, just when he stops."

"But, it's been 5 minutes,"

"Do you want to put the shackles on him?"

"No."

OoOoO

"Who is this guy?" Captain Veril gestured towards the cell holding a sleeping Theo. The captain was tall and well built, almost too big to fit through the doors of the prison. His hair was a flame red and rested on his shoulders. An angular nose stretched 4 inches from his face.

"His name's Theo, caught him last night urinating on a bench." The guard replied.

"What's it got to do with me then. As disgusting as it may be public urination is only a fine."

"Yeah we know, sir. However, he has a bounty, nothing spectacular, thought you'd want to know about it though."

" A bounty, huh." Veril squinted at the still unconscious Theo, evaluating him. "How big?"

He's really skinny, the Captain thought, doesn't look like much of a fighter.

"As I said, nothing spectacular. It's a simple 1,500,000 Berri."

"What did he do?"

"It says here 'excessive public urination' and..." The marine was cut off.

"Excessive implies there's a certain amount of pissing in the street that's okay" Voiced a finally awake Theo.

"...multiple escapes from custody." finished the marine, who was glaring at Theo.

Shit, he's scary. Theo looked at the marine. He's huge, those arms could break me into... wait, are those breast? Crap, that's a women. Theo smiled to himself. Maybe I can seduce her. I've never tried that before, I'll be like:

"Hey baby, why don't you come into the cell with me and I'll show you that my penis doesn't just urinate."

Veril and his subordinate stared at the unwitting Theo, who thought his monologue was still in his head.

"Y-you know that was out..." The stunned marine was cut off by a sharp nudge and a look from her Captain.

"Shut up, he might keep talking." He whispered to her.

"How about you and I rearrange the order of words in the," Theo paused, "No that's not right, shit" He sat down, resting his fore head in his palms, "How's it go again?" He mumbled, still unaware he was speaking out loud.

"How about we rearrange the alphabet and put U and I together? Is that what you're trying to say, dumb ass?" The growingly annoyed marine snapped, veins pulsing on her temples.

"Yeah, thank..." Theo looked up, eyes wide with realisation. "...you."

A heavy silence filled the air, sweat burned Theo's eyes.

"Just leave him Ensign, he's harmless." Captain Veril left laughing, quickly followed by his fuming subordinate.

OoOoO

Theo sat alone in his holding cell. He stuck his tongue out and puckered his lips around it, blowing a raspberry to where his captors had stood earlier.

He stood up, shaking his tattered left boot off as he rose. He picked it up and took out the hair pin hidden inside.

He picked the lock and escaped to the streets.

Now, to the pub.

Thanks for reading everybody.

I thought that I should add a story to my account, it looked silly so bare. This is meant as a one-shot, but I'm thinking about making a continuation. Unfortunately I have no idea for a plot, which I hear is important.

Please review.