"There were dementors and… She's… she's in the hospital Jay… we m-might lo- " Rylee couldn't choke out the last few words, no they just, they were too much. He looked down and couldn't even look up to see Jay's grave expression. Jay looked down after hearing him, he swallowed hard, his hand laid against wall, he didn't know it was this serious. He wasn't there, he wasn't at Hogwarts to protect her, to be there for her. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment before looking up at Rylee, he nodded and took a step back.
"Go back to bed Rylee…" Jay whispered, he had snuck into the Slytherin dorms to speak to him, he then ruffled Rylee's hair before giving him a soft kiss on the forehead, "She'll make it… she can't leave us, she'll get through this. Rest easy, and get some sleep, you look like you need it…" With that he then took off without looking back, he apparated then to St. Mungo's, looking up at the building, he knew he'd probably find Lysander inside, he honestly didn't care he needed to see her, he didn't care if he was there watching them. He just needed to know she was still alive. He walked inside and asked for information. The Healer refused at first, but once he said the right words and gave her a gentle yet sad smile, she allowed him to go inside to see her.
He walked into the room, Lysander was passed out on the chair to the corner, Jay just walked quietly passed him. He knew how much he really loved Roxanne, who could blame him? For the longest time, he himself loved her with everything he had, but life happened and well, things didn't go the way he had hoped, Scorpius happened to her, and Rose happened to him. He'd never regret Rose, ever, he loved Rose but they both ended up on the sad end of it all, Scorpius leaving her for Rose and Rose leaving him for Scorpius. Yet where was he when she needed him? Where was he when she needed a hug? He had gone off and changed himself, came back a different man, avoided her at all costs. He didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to let her fall into his so called charm, no, she was his best friend, she didn't deserve that anymore, because his love had faded and turned into something different. He loved her still, yes he did, but like a sister, like the way she had loved him from the start. He didn't want to take a chance and risk it and in doing so, he didn't know just how much he had really hurt her.
She laid on the bed, her face pale as a ghost, she looked weak, fragile as if a simple touch could break her. He was scared to reach out and touch her, he was scared he'd break her more then he already had. He knew she wasn't okay, she hadn't been okay for a while now, Lysander had filled that void, but without him, without him by her side, she just went back to step one. He was glad that Rylee though had stayed by her even after all. Jay knew he was a coward, he slowly reached out and grabbed her hand, he knelt down and looked at her, she had bandages around her head, he couldn't take it anymore, tears formed in his eyes, he looked down and let them fall, he looked back up at her.
"I'm sorry Rox… I really am, I'm sorry I'm not here… you know, I met an amazing girl, her name's Natalia… she's brilliant, she had three babies, they're beautiful Rox… I know they're not mine, but I swear I love them more then I have ever loved before, I want nothing more than to protect them, you know that feeling? Of course you do, that's how you feel about anyone, that's what's so great about you Rox, you will protect anyone even if they have done you wrong, and I think… I think that's why the sorting hat put you in Gryffindor." He gripped onto her hand tighter, bringing it up and holding it with both his hands.
"Please Rox, wake up, tell me something, yell at me, glare at me… but please wake up… you can't leave us, Rylee… Rylee needs you Rox, your mum and dad… Lysander, he loves you, Roxanne, I need you." He put his head down on the bed as if to wait for something, for her to wake up and smile at him. That lovely smile that lit up the whole world when she smiled because it was so rare. He soon fell asleep next to her.
"Jay…" A small whisper, a gentle whisper, a kind voice, he looked up, he was kneeling on soft grass, it was field and the sun was out and shining brightly. He stood up, again the gentle whisper. He turned around; she was standing there, a smile on her face.
"You came…" She tilted her head a little, looking at him through glossy eyes that made it look like she was on the edge of crying. His eyes widened, he was speechless.
"Roxanne?" He called out softly; there she was, standing in front of him, he couldn't believe it, he walked up to her and then grabbed her without caring, he embraced her, holding her in his arms, he closed his eyes. He took in her scent the same as always, like that of lilac with a hint of sakura blossoms. It was sweet and welcoming, comforting even, she just stood there for a moment, which worried him, she started shaking before she embraced him back, she was crying, he could feel her tears staining his shirt, if this was a dream, it was all too real.
"Where have you been? Jay, I needed you." She gripped onto his shirt; she started to then hit him, giving him a few punches softly. He took them, he had a solemn look on his face, he let her hit him, he deserved it, he wished she'd hit him even harder than that, the way she knew how to hit. He bit his bottom lip.
"I'm so sorry… I should've been there for you, through what happened with Scorpius, to what happened with Lysander, I should've been there to hold you… I'm so sorry I was so selfish." He looked down at her, she simply just stared up at him, looking away as tears then stained her face. He reached out and gently wiped them away, he knew she hated to cry; he wiped her tears like he had done so, so many times before.
"I tried to look for you Jay, I did, I wanted to see how you were doing, I wanted to know you were okay… but it seems the harder I looked the further away you went. I was scared… that you weren't going to come see me, Rylee hasn't shown up." She then looked up at him. He looked into her brown eyes with his blue hues.
"You mean… is this a dream or?"
She nodded, "It's a dream, but I am here with you… it's the only way I can communicate with people, it's hard to explain. Remember how Luxio told you about Lysander's out of body experiences, well… it's like that, except… I can't even communicate with him, I have to wait until he's asleep, and he knows you're here. I just spoke to him…"
He stood there, taking everything in the best that he could, he was at lost for words, this was all just too much. His thoughts were then shaken away when she hugged him once again. He had forgotten how warm her hugs always were how he loved to just hold her in his arms, how he was always so conflicted with his feelings and suddenly those conflicted feelings came back. He couldn't help but have all these memories that seemed to just flood his mind, again she broke his train of thought.
"You know… in here there's really not much you can hide from me Jay. Maybe if it were my world you could, but since it is your world and I am a guest and I am more aware of this… you can't. You missed me, missed my touch and my scent." She said bluntly.
This scared him, so his heart was practically out on his sleeve, he looked down at her. "It's my dream yes? Then… "He placed a finger under her chin and looked down into her eyes, those eyes in which he had found comfort in so many times before, he slowly leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.
It was so sweet and so perfect all at once. He let his feelings flow, how did she manage to do this to him? The feelings that he had fought with for so long, all his effort and hard work had all gone down the drain and he was back to step one. He cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Roxanne didn't pull back, she couldn't, why not? Maybe because somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Jay and her could've been beautiful if given the chance, maybe because she knew that in a different world they might've had a chance, in this world that was all their own they did, but in the real world this could not be. They could not be, because he had Natalia and she had Lysander, she didn't doubt her feelings for Lysander, this could be considered a closure, to what they never had the chance to have.
They were both so different yet so alike at the same time, they both needed one another to survive, a single tear managed to slide down Roxanne's cheek, she wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, Roxxie gave herself completely into the kiss, no regrets. Her hands managed to entangle in his hair as his rested on her waist, after a moment letting it linger, they both pulled back.
Looking into each other's eyes a hint of sadness could be detected, this would simply remain between them, no one else had to know. No one else would know, not Rylee nor Natalia nor Lysander. Their little secret and theirs alone.
"Just promise me… promise me you'll wake up okay? I'll be waiting for you, you're my best friend, and even if I might not show that sometimes you are… never doubt that." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"I promise." She said softly, closing her eyes for a moment, she glanced up at him. "Stay safe and keep an eye on Rylee for me okay?" She placed her hand on his cheek. "Now… Natalia must need you, you better get back to her. Just don't forget me, don't forget this… the feel…" She paused, tracing her fingers over his face to his lips, "…the feel of my lips against yours, for it was real." She kissed him one last time and then stepped back, she waved.
"I love you Roxanne." He managed to say. She just looked at him sadly.
"Maybe in another world Jay… maybe someday." With that she vanished. He woke up to look up at her, she had a calmer expression to her but she still looked very pale. He smiled standing up, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Maybe, someday."
He turned to leave, Lysander waking up, he glanced down at the fellow Ravenclaw, for a moment guilt hit him. "Take care of her." He simply said, without even considering to wait for him, he took off, he couldn't bare to look into his eyes, no, or else he'd spill everything, he couldn't do that, it'd have to be as if nothing ever happened, just a visit. No more.
