M*A*S*H
The Mc Carthur Files
PART ONE
This is my idea of what could have happened if Hawkeye had found love and with an odd choice of family. I do not own any of the characters names or other wise.
Jessica or known much better throughout the war as Jess had walked for miles for three days just to get to the 4077 MASH where she had heard they had a 98% survival rate which she wanted to experience for herself if of course they wouldn't mind dropping everything they were doing to operate on her side and everything would be ok if they never found out exactly who she was. The USA military wasn't very good at keeping up with its entire people so she could usually get away with most things. It was truly amazing what a person like her could do, she was one part of a group of girls who were trained to slip in behind enemy lines and take out their high dignitaries. The U.S figured a female would be better considering the other side was big on an all male cast. The last operation went bad, a big explosion killed all five of her friends and platoon and all that happened to her was she caught some shrapnel in her belly and side but other than that she was fine a little dizzy but fine. When she finally got to camp it was nine pm and stinking hot, she flagged down the closest person a male corporal dressed in what looked like a dress either that or she was one ugly woman.
"Can you point me towards a doctor please" up close she saw it really was a man dressed as a woman; he put his arm around her and said
"Sure I can, I can do anything you like" She always got this reaction, but considering she was covered in dirt, grease and grime she didn't think she would for a while. He guided her over to three men and a woman arguing about something she really didn't care about, she was very much beyond pain now.
"Um sirs and mam I don't mean to be a bother but this lady here is asking for a doctor"
"Oh really" said the tall dark haired one with a slight devious look in his eyes.
"I am not touching that" said the ferity looking one with a look of distain on his face the woman gave him a look of exasperation and said,
"Thank you Klinger we'll take it from here" the man dressed as a woman left leaving her with the doctors. Jess was holding her belly and the black haired doctor was the first to notice the blood. Considering the amount of black clothing she was wearing he was doing very well.
"Hi I'm Peirce but everyone calls me Hawkeye what seems to be the problem"
"Belly wound, travelled three days on foot to get here" Jess rasped
"Well let's just take a look shall we, BJ help her stand" the man with the sandy blond hair close to grey stood behind her and held onto her shoulders to help her stand. While the man known as Hawkeye lifted her shirt.
"It's a good thing I'm not shy"
"Does your mother know this?"
"No but my brother does caught me with his best friend once"
"Ha" Hawkeye said
"Yuck" said the ferity one when he saw the wound. It was packed with dirt blood and some puss leakage.
"Frank you have the bed side manner of an eel slippery to the touch with an infectious touch get her into pre op right away"
"I don't have to stand her an listen to this you, you, you ninny"
"Well take a seat I'm sure we can find you one"
"Please will you just..." and she fainted with a smile on her face. The next thing she knew she was waking up in a hospital bed being roughly checked over. So she did the most natural thing she could do she grabbed the man touching her by the throat. It was the ferret looking man called Frank.
"Help, help" he rasped a nurse and the doctor known as Hawkeye came running. Hawkeye got to her first
"It's ok he's the eel I was talking about before" she let him go and he fell on his ass the nurse picked him up off the floor and he yanked his arm away.
"I don't need your help nurse and Peirce you keep her away from me" he stormed off out the door
"Boy that's some grip you've got there"
"That's what you get in my line of work"
"Oh and what's that" Hawkeye sat next to her and held her hand while he finished her check up
"I'm a cook learnt from my mother"
"What a coincidence were in the market for a cook"
"Well maybe when I'm feeling better Ill cook for you all to say thank you"
"It's a deal you get better and we'll eat like kings"
"How long do you think it will be till I get better and Id appreciate honesty" Hawkeye sighed like he didn't really want to tell her this.
"When you were shot"
"Shell fragments"
"No you were shot and when you were shot it hit lower than your belly, the bullet nicked your fallopian tubes on the right and the other s on the left had a small operation possibly when you were a child I did my best but I don't think it did any good"
"What does that mean?"
"It means it's possible you may never have children of your own there was just too much damage"
"Thank you doctor may I please be alone now"
"Sure sure but if you need any help don't be afraid to shout out" Jess watched as Hawkeye walked over to the same nurse she remembered seeing before and spoke to her quietly. If she could hear them she would hear Hawkeye say "Margret keeps an eye on her I don't think she's going to be feeling very well for a while"
"What's wrong with her?"
"There was a lot of damage to her fallopian tubes its possible she may never have any children"
"Oh no, the poor girl"
"Just starting her life and then someone comes along and shoots her"
"It's terrible but she seems to be taking it well"
"I think I'll talk to the cornel about getting her into the VIP tent for now somewhere other than here so she can at least have a little privacy"
"That's very sweet of you"
"Sweet, Sweet I've been described many ways but never sweet, have you seen the way the men in here look at her"
"I have"
"I think its disgusting" said Frank "To think most of these men here have family back home and their looking at her like that"
"Frank don't you need to polish your bible" said Hawkeye before he walked away not interested in hearing what else he had to say but alas he followed him into the colonels office along with Major Margaret Hoolahan. Colonel Potter sat behind his desk writing a letter to his wife when all three of them barged in with the company clerk Radar close behind with his pencil and note pad. The colonel put away his letter saying
"And what can I do for you three today"
"I would like to have Jess the woman in post op moved to a private room so she can at least have some privacy she's had enough done to her to at least earn her one"
"And I could agree with you more but the fact is I don't know who she is and I can't go giving out special treatment to just anyone"
"I agree with the colonel" said Frank "She could be one of those people for all we know"
"And which one of those people are you referring to Frank" said Hawkeye
"A commie of course they can be very devious you know if I were you colonel Id get on the phone to ICOR strait away and find out who she is"
"Well you're not me and I've been talking to ICOR all morning and they don't even know who she is, they're sending a general down in a few days to check her out but that doesn't explain why you want to get her a room of her own"
"Colonel I spent a lot of time on her in the O.R the men in the pre op room keep looking at her and the fact I just had to tell her she may never have any kids of her own I think she deserves a little time of her own"
"She probably did it to herself In fact colonel Id like permition to check her over to make sure she didn't do it to herself"
"Permition denied and Peirce she can use the VIP tent but she'll have to stay in camp"
"Even better she's promised to cook for us when she gets better as a thank you for saving her life"
"I don't know about that Peirce, for now let's just get her well"
"But colonel..." wined Frank
"Oh and if I wasn't clear before DISMISSED" They moved Jess into the VIP tent that very same day and one by one they left her alone till it was just Hawkeye and herself left.
"Ill just check you over and get out of your hair"
"Why did you all move me in here?"
"So you could have some privacy"
"And if I don't want any"
"I saw the way people were looking at you in the pre op and the look on your face told me you'd prefer to be on your own for a little while, I'm done for now the nurse will check on you in a little while, and please don't be discouraged by the two MP'S outside apparently their there for your safety at the insistence of Major Frank Pain in the Ass Burns"
"That's a long name"
"And he earnt every one of them by being the fink that he is"
"I don't want that man coming anywhere near me"
"That's not a problem he refuses to come anywhere near you because you almost choked him to death" Through the whole conversation Hawkeye was smiling at her cracking stupid jokes and by now she'd really had enough of it but in an odd way she didn't want him to leave for some reason she didn't want him to leave either. He got up to leave and she grabbed his arm.
"Please don't leave me I don't want to be completely alone"
"Ill talk to the nurses and ask if one of them would stay with you"
"No I don't want them, I want you... to stay" she had tightened her grip on his arm so much he was almost in pain "Please say you won't leave me alone"
"Alright, alright I never could resist a stunning brunet" she let him go then,
"I just need a few things from my tent" and he left. When he walked into his tent both Burns and BJ were there. "You'll never guess what just happened"
"You spent the last few hours in the arms of a nurse with incredible legs" said BJ
"No nothing like that" said Hawkeye as he put on his robe and sat on his bunk "Jess the girl I worked on just asked me to stay with her she doesn't want to be alone"
"That is innerpropriet behaviour if she doesn't want to be alone then she should be put back in the pre op with the others" said Frank
"I doubt that's what she meant by not wanting to be alone she just wants some re assurance she will be ok, let's just get one thing clear you're not going to sleep with her"
"Of course not she's my patient and that would be UN ethical I had to say yes just to get out of the door"
"Are you even going to go back over there?"
"Yeah I think I will" Hawkeye got up and went back to the VIP tent where Jess was isolated and when he got there he found her all teary eyed but not crying like she was trying to stop herself. "Why aren't you crying?"
"I'm stronger than that; I don't need to cry besides I need to make a phone call"
"Every one needs to cry and as for the phone call you can't get out of that glorious large bed"
"It'll take more than you to keep me in this bed I have to make that phone call and I have to make it now"
"Alright, alright you twisted my arm" he helped her up out of the bed only then noticing she'd taken off the bottoms. He picked up the bottoms and helped her into them then he guided her over to the office where she met Radar for the first time. "Radar this is jess and she said she needs to make a call"
"Sorry Hawk strict orders from the colonel no one has outgoing calls"
"Why" said Hawkeye as he helped Jess into a chair
"Because there sending a colonel up here to investigate her and they don't want anything to go wrong"
"Go wrong, go wrong what could she possibly do that would be wrong"
"Hawkeye" she said "It means that they want to stick something to me and they don't want me to have any support from any generals Corporal can I speak with your Colonel please"
"I suppose so he's in his office still"
"Ill take her through" said Hawkeye as he helped her up but her legs weren't strong enough to hold her and Hawkeye had to carry her instead. He carefully put her down in a chair in front of the Colonel.
"What's all the hoo ha about and what are you doing out of bed" Hawkeye was about to speak when Jess said
"I know you've all gone through a lot for me but I really need to make a phone call"
"I'm sorry but orders from above say you can't"
"I know which is why I have these for you" she held out a pair of dog tags "There for your eyes only" Colonel Potter took them and looked at the name. His eyes widened in shock and he immediately put them into the safe.
"Are they real"
"Yes they are"
"Do you want the room free or will we stay" Jess looked over at Hawkeye already she was quite fond of him odd though since shed only known him a few hours. Given the fact shed been asleep and he'd operated on her he probably knew her better.
"Please stay" she said directing the question at Hawkeye.
"Of course" they both said at the same time. Colonel Potter handed her the phone and said "Radar", at almost that exact moment Radar came through the door saying,
"Sparky's on the line waiting for Jess"
"Thank you Radar" Jess picked up the phone and said
"Sparky can you put me through to Harry Truman's office please"
"I can try but I doubt you'll get through" she waited a moment, the Colonel and Hawkeye had expectant looks on their faces.
"It's ringing" it was three rings before Harry Truman's personal assistant picked up the phone.
"Harry Truman's office how may I help you"
"This is Jessica can I speak to Mr Truman please"
"I'm sorry he's in a meeting right now can I take a message"
"No you can get Harry Truman and tell him Jessica says bunny"
"I told you he's in a meeting right now and he's not available"
"You're new aren't you?"
"Yes how did you know?"
"Look you go and tell him what I said before I have to come all the way down there to get even with you and IT WONT BE PRETY" the assistant hung up and Jess put down the phone.
"Well what happened" said Hawkeye
"Just wait a minute" she said, a few seconds later the phone rang and Jess picked it up, Harry Truman was on the other end.
"Jessica how are you how'd the operation go"
"Good and not good, their all dead"
"All of them"
"All of them and us, I'm sorry I couldn't save anyone, I'm all that's left"
"Well then you did save someone then why did it take you so long to report in"
"I had some technical difficulties, I got shot but I'm all right now actually I'd like to make a request"
"And what's that"
"I've noticed that MASH units have a sniper problem and would like to propose that someone like me be put in one as an experiment sort of thing, under the job of a cook"
"Did you have one in mind?"
"Well I'm at the 4077 at the moment so why not start the experiment here"
"So close to the front... I guess if it was going to work it would be there, I like it you start as of now"
"So should anyone come asking questions...?"
"Refer them to their superiors"
"Good because their sending someone out"
"Got any idea who"
"I'm guessing Colonel Flag"
"Ill get on it, you take care now dear" and he hung up the phone. Jess did the same and said
"Well it's all set I get to stay now give the orders a few days and they'll be here"
"How did you know they'd send Flag" said Hawkeye
"They always send him and he always balls it up and ends up looking like a fool Colonel Can I trust you won't mention to anyone about the dog tags"
"You have my word and I think it's time you go back to bed and rest"
"I would if my legs were stable enough to carry me"
"Its ok I got it" said Hawkeye. He picked her up easily and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her out of the office and back to the VIP tent with ease, she didn't weigh much. It's what happens when you're trained to kill within an inch of your life. After they were gone Radar said to the Colonel.
"They would make a good couple"
"You noticed that too Radar"
"Thought had crossed my mind"