NOTE: THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS STRONG AMOUNTS OF EDGE. THIS STORY IS A JOKE AND IT WASN'T MEANT TO OFFEND ANY DUDES, KEEP THAT IN MIND BRAHS!
Pit, Captain Falcon and Mario where having a good fucking time at the dinner table. Everyone was happy, everyones having a good time. "I am having a good time" said Mario to clarify the good time they are having at this moment. Pit stood up to get some juice "we don't drink alcohol here because we can have a good time without it" he said. "Yes! Exactly! Having a good time, no violence or badness here. And im glad for it".
Suddenly the door was flung of its hinges. Loud bad music was heard coming from some headphones, which where revealed to be around a shady characters neck. "Oh god no!" said pit. It was his edgy brother, Dark Pit!
"YO FAGGOTS NICE JUICE PARTY" he yelled. The music became more clear, it was this song: watch?v=YN39bvtMJ3s
"Please Dark Pit were just having a good time please dont rui-"
Dark pit cut his wrists and split blood all over his brother "HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU" he said whilst kicking a cat. Mario started crying "I cant handle the edge!". Dark Pit side B's his head clean off with his big fucking metal arm. "CANT HELP BUT FEEL SORRY FOR YA" he yelled. The edge level was getting out of control. He walked up to captain falcon. He looked him dead in the eye. Falcon shivered and thought "please no" but Dark pit smiled. He picked up Falcons Juice. Falcon had tears in his eyes "NO PLEASE DONT DO IT"
But he did it. Dark pit mixed Falcons orange juice with the black current. Falcon broke down in tears screaming "WHY, FOR WHAT PURPOSE"
Dark then flipped the table over, heavy metal guitar riffs where heard everywhere. Pit went to grab Dark pits shoulder, but was cut on the edge. "NICE TRY" Dark pit edged. Dark Pit took a CD of My Chemical Romance and threw it like a sharp Frisbee, but Pit dodged it. "Your edgy music cant get me D.P!". Dark Pit smiled. "WHAT ABOUT MY EDGY GAMES?". Dark pit held three games up, Postal, Mortal Kombat and Kinect Sports. "Why Kinect sports?" Pit asked. Dark pit replied "its ironic you wouldn't understand pleb". Dark Pit tossed the 3 edgy games, Pit managed to dodge all but one, which cut into his shoulder.
Pit grabbed his bleeding shoulder, he realized that nothing could defeat the edge. There was only one thing to do, go even edgier. Pit stood up, and called somebody on his phone. He knew what he must do.
Almost instantly, the wall exploded, a man riding a Black Dragon covered in blood and belts arrived. Dark Pit was shocked. It was Dark Dark Pit.
"NO THATS TO EDGY"
Dark Dark Pit got down from his dragon. "HOW ABOUT YOU KILL YOURSELF YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT". Dark Pit was shocked, what an edgy contreversial statement! He wasn't sure if he could handle another one. "GAYS SHOULD BE GASSED". Dark pit was on the ground clutching his heart. The edge was just way to much, it wasnt even relevant edge! It was just an edgy statement for the sake of it! Why would a man be edgy just for the sake of being edgy. Dark Dark Pit spoke his final words. "COLUMBINE WAS COOL"
The edge was to much, Dark Pit exploded. But now Pit realized he had to deal with something even worse: Dark Dark Pit. Luckily, he knew the secret to defeating extremely Edgy foes like Dark Dark Pit. "Hey Dark Dark Pit, somebody said your tumblr was pretty safe for work and tame".
Dark Dark Pit was shocked. Somebody thinks that his tumblr, HIS TUMBLR? filled with death, gore and quotes from serial killers wasn't edgy? How dare they! He would show them!
Dark Dark Pit put on some death grips and ran home. Pit watched him run as he faintly heard guillotine fade away as he ran.
fucking clones jesus christ