This is the final part of my three part series!
Lesbian Jesus and her Heavenly Wedding
It was a normal day at the FFC's house. She was reading a terrible fanfiction from a certain hamster and Susan was polishing her phase pistol. The fanfiction was about a relationship between Sweeney Todd and Donkey from Shrek. Since the razor was banned from the house, Meg had to find a way to get rid of the stress and wipe the memories of that smut out of her head. She was alone in her room and she thought: "Well it's that part of the day again". She knew that hands alone won't do the trick, but she had nothing to use. There were no carrots, bananas, cucumbers and zucchinis in her room. "What should I do, that fanfiction will drive insane if I don't do something soon" she thought. She looked around her room. She was turning in circles and then she stopped. She grinned at the camera. She took her suit and pants off and grabbed the camera. She put mustard on her boobs and on the camera and the camera went into her love hole. She pleasured herself for a few minutes then the house started shaking. Susan ran into Meg's room. She yelled: "There's an earthquake out there and you look like a human hot dog. Yes Meg, your vagina can take everything, but now it's not the moment to film an autobiography about it." Meg took a blanket and she got of her bed. Then the house stopped shaking.
"Is it over?" asked Meg. One of a sudden light appeared in the room and a third person was now standing in the room. It was Lesbian Jesus. "Did you cause the earthquake?" asked Susan. "Yes, but it was unintentional. It happened because I came here as soon as possible. You see I was watching you two for quite some time now. The reason is because I live in the Land of the Gods. There is a legend in my land. It involves me and two cousins that look the same. One has a vagina of steel and the other one has the boobs that aren't just sexy, but also great for self-defense." The brownyblonde cousins looked at each other. "What do you want from us?" they said. "I want to bring you two to land where I come from. It's a very beautiful place and it is a great place for a holiday trip. They both thought" We have been in this house for ages" and they decided to go to the Land of the Gods. Lesbian Jesus raised her hand and all three disappeared.
They arrived in a land that looked like ancient Greece. "What is that?" said Meg. Lesbian Jesus said" Before I went to you I ordered that statues of the two chosen cousins should be built. "Okay… But why is my statue in a lake and only her head and knees are above the water? And what's with the expression on my face? I look like I am fingering my cut open peach under the water" said Meg. "Well that's because everybody here is watching your videos. You became so popular that we hid cameras in you house so that we can watch you all the time. This here is the Lake of Euphoria, so we made a statue from the moment of your life that we considered as the most euphoric." Megan was speechless. Then Susan asked: "Wait, so there's also a statue of me?"
"Of course, it's right over there" answered Lesbian Jesus and she pointed with her finger to the big statue on the other side of the lake. It was a statue of Susan dressed as the statue of liberty. In one hand she held a torch and with the other hand she picked her nose. Susan yelled: "What's the point of this?" "Susan, since you were born, you were independent, so you are the definition of liberty. As of the nose, we'll you see this was the closest pose to the one we wanted since we have been watching you two. We didn't get the right pose, so we just said screw it and we used the second best. Susan facepalmed.
"So what's the point of us being here?" asked Megan. Lesbian Jesus finally confessed "The legend says that I will marry two mortal cousins that look similar to me and one will have a vagina like no other woman and the other one can use her boobs as a weapon. The cousins looked shocked. "But were not lesbians" they said. Lesbian Jesus replied: "Ok, let's be honest here girls. What did you two enjoy more? That crazy day with the zucchini or the relationships with men? Just come out of the closet, because I know your thoughts. The girls started crying. Meggie said: "I had sex with hundreds of men , but none of them came even close to you Susan. ". "I went South Amrica to get boobs, to get the attention of men, but deep in myself I always wanted the attention of you" cried Susan.
"You see girls, you two already feel better. Now please dress in your wedding dresses and let's have the wedding of the millennium." said LJ passionately.
The girls dressed and together with Lesbian Jesus they went to the alter. There was waiting dwarf Martin. "What are you doing here?" Megan and Susan asked. "Lesbian Jesus brought me here, because I was already the only other human witness of the zucchini incident and I am also your marriage officiant. Martin pronounced them wife 1,2 &3 and they kissed each other. Then Lesbian Jesus raised her hands and a mountain similar to Mount Rushmore appeared. But it had the faces of the three brides.
Susan and Megan are now also immortals and they lived in that Land until the end of time.
But one day Lesbian Jesus disappeared…