Chapter 1

I stared out the window over the sink in the kitchen. I was watching and waiting, anticipating the worst. I was waiting to see if my life was about to change for the worst. I sighed, I was tired of waiting, tired of playing second fiddle despite the fact that it was all my fault. Let me start at the beginning, my name is Rose, Rose Tyler-Smith, and a couple of years after I was brought to this parallel universe for the second time by The Doctor, I married my ex, Mickey Smith. The metacrisis Doctor and I decided it would be for the best if we just remained friends, so that's what we were, or rather had been. Mickey had become increasingly jealous of our friendship, so I let it go.

At the same time, I was back in university studying to be an engineer. Mickey didn't seem to mind me having female friends, so I made nice with all of my fellow engineering major girls. One friend I made was Heather Klane. She came from a wealthy family, and was a year ahead of me at university. She ended up becoming my best friend, and we started doing everything together, studying, hanging out, and shopping, that sort of stuff. When she graduated, she invited Mickey and I to the party her family threw to celebrate. Mickey and Heather ended up getting along famously, which I guess in retrospect I should have been wary of.

Over this past year, Heather started hanging out with both Mickey and I together, instead of just her and I. In fact, our girl's days were becoming fewer and farther between. I was pretty much studying on my own, or with the peers that were graduating with me. Despite all of this, I was too busy to see what was going on right under my nose. Six months ago, I graduated from university, and was offered a position within this universes version of Torchwood. Mickey threw a large party at our home, and Heather showed up with an extravagant present for me, a brand new BMW. She'd hugged me and congratulated me, and insisted I keep the car despite my objections based on the amount of money I knew that car had cost. I shrugged it off, and went about my daily life of work, spending quality time with my husband, and trying for our first baby.

This routine only lasted Mickey and me for about three months, and that's where our story really gets complicated. One night, I came home for work, and not only was Mickey home before me, but Heather was also there holding a pizza box. She'd said she understood that both of us had had a long day at work and thought we'd appreciate not having to fix dinner. We'd thanked her profusely, and dug into the pizza at our dining room table. About half way through dinner, Heather stood and said that she and Mickey had a proposal for me. I was not prepared for what it would entail; her being able to sleep with my husband whenever she wanted. I felt like I was having an out of body experience when Mickey explained that he and Heather were attracted to each other, but didn't want to do anything that would end our marriage. So instead they worked out this plan that if I agreed, they'd sleep together and act on their attraction while Mickey stayed married to me. Feeling like I owed Heather because she'd given me an expensive car for my graduation gift, I agreed.

After I'd made the agreement, Mickey moved into one of our guest rooms, and that was the end of Mickey and I being sexually active. My routine changed, now instead of going to work, coming home to have dinner and relations with my husband while we tried for a baby, I was coming home to either an empty house, or a house with porn-like noises coming from the second floor. Usually on the later type day, I would just leave and have dinner at a restaurant, stay until in closed, and dragged myself home well after I would normally go to bed. Because of this routine, I was losing sleep which in turn was causing black circles under my eyes making me look like some kind of zombie, and a general feeling of being disconnected from the rest of the world. I let the rest of my friendships slide as I fell into a deeper and deeper depression built on grief, guilt, and no sleep. Finally, I just started burying myself in work, sometimes not even bothering to go home. Of course when Mickey called to tell me his family was flying in for a visit and that I was expected to play the role of loving, doting wife, I fell in line, and went right home, forming a façade of a happily married Mickey and I. Unfortunately at night I still had to deal with the porn-like sounds of my husband and Heather filtering in from the guest bedroom.

Now, three months after the proposal, I was waiting for a call from my doctor, and hoping that the call came in before Mickey got back from the airport. I glanced out of the window again looking for his car when I remembered the day I realized I needed to go to the doctor. It was a week ago when I realized I missed 2 periods. I was cleaning the house, preparing for the in-laws, when I spied an un-open box of feminine products. I checked the bank account from my phone for the purchase and realized I'd bought it two weeks after Heather and Mickey's proposal. The next day, I'd called my doctor from work scheduling an appointment for the following day.

The phone rang then, dragging me from my memories. I picked up the cordless phone and looked at the tiny caller ID screen that was flashing the name of my doctor's office. Taking a deep breath, I answered the phone, bracing myself for the news.

"Hello?" I asked, forcing my voice to remain calm and steady.

"Good afternoon. Is this Rose Smith?" Asked a woman's voice.

"Yes this is she." I responded to her overly professional voice.

"Mrs. Smith, this is Connie, one of the nurses here at Doctor O'Brien's office. I have the results of your pregnancy test in." Connie said in the same, detached but professional tone of voice.

"What's the verdict?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound as scared as I felt.

"Congratulations, you're going to be a mommy!" She replied, her voice morphing into one of happiness. "We need to schedule you an appointment right away for an exam and ultrasound that way we can determine how far along you are and when you will be due."

"Wow, okay. Can I schedule that now over the phone?" I asked forcing the panic I was feeling to the back of my mind.

"Absolutely Mrs. Smith." Connie replied. "The soonest we can get you in is Friday at 9 in the morning."

"Okay, that sounds good, I'll take a half day off of work." I replied adding the appointment into the calendar app on my smart phone.

"Very well then. We will see you on Friday morning then." Connie said lightly. "Congratulations again."

"Thanks." I muttered before hitting the disconnect button on the phone.

I placed the cordless phone back on the counter next to the sink not bothering to wipe the tears that I knew were streaming down my face. I was about to ruin everything, and I knew it. I thought back to when I was a girl in primary school. I was awkward and didn't fit in well with any of the other kids, so I was picked on a lot. A number of the boys liked to tell me periodically that I was going to be nothing but a failure, and would no doubt ruin everybody's lives. Now I was more convinced than ever that they were right. Unfortunately the only person who could make me feel different about it, I'd never see again because it was impossible for The Doctor to get back to this universe. A noise yanked me from my depressing thoughts, and I looked up to see Mickey's car in the driveway. He was back from the airport with his parents.

I swiped the tears from my face, and headed for the front door, waiting to be the perfect daughter-in-law. I pulled the door open after a deep breath, and greeted Mickey's parents like I always did, with a big smile and big hugs. They were warm people and I loved them to death. I was greeted with big warm hugs from his dad, Ricky first, then his mother, Sarah, both hugs made me want to start crying all over again. Mickey followed them into the house, depositing their luggage at the bottom of the stairs, then greeted me with a fake kiss to the forehead. I resisted the urge to cringe away then throw up.

We settled in the living room, talking and catching up. They asked me about my work, and how I enjoyed it. I went through my now robotic answer of how it is an honor working for Torchwood, especially seeing as I was offered a position right out of university. The work they are doing is phenomenal and I'm just honored to be a part of it. As I finished my speech, Mickey grinned as if he were proud of me, then slung his arm around the back of the couch behind me. What happened next surprised even me, because I think something inside of me snapped with everything happening.

I just looked at Mickey, and realized he'd become a stranger to me. That the last 3 months should have never happened, and he should have never put me in that position in the first place. Here I was, pregnant with his child, and he was carrying on with someone I had once considered my best friend. Suddenly with certain clarity, I knew none of this was my fault. I was not the one ruining people's lives, people were ruining mine. With that, I got up off of the couch, grabbed my stuff, and left. I walked to the main road where I hailed a cab, and rattled off an address I hadn't been to in a year at least. Within fifteen minutes, the cab was pulling to the curb in front of the address I'd given the driver. I paid him and got out of the car before I could think twice about the craziness of what I was doing. I stood outside looking at the apartment building as the cab drove away, leaving me standing there alone.

I walked up to the door, scanning the names on the buzzer pad. I saw his name, and before I could think twice, I pressed the buzzer next to it. Within seconds I heard his voice through the intercom.

"Hello?" He asked, his familiar voice wrapping around me like my favorite fuzzy blanket.

"I'm sorry, wrong apartment." I said, my voice breaking.

"Rose?" He asked, his voice sounding confused.

"Yeah?" I asked uncertainly. Then I heard the buzz that indicated he'd unlocked the front door for me. I opened it stepping inside, and running to his apartment. I made it to the door just in time to see him open it. There he was, John Redfern, the metacrisis Doctor.