Losing My Grip
A/N: ok, this was destine for a fic of mine, a dark and angsty fic, so I'm fulfilling destiny. It took me about three days to get an idea, my muses have been slacking but now I've got one, it's not one of my best ideas but It'll do.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, though I wish I did, because then I would own Bakura!!! But as I don't I will make myself content with huggling him and telling you that I don't own this song either. It's owned by Avril Lavigne, so if I get sued for claiming ownership then, well, I didn't claim it! So don't sue me! I'm broke!
Ryou's p.o.v
I crouched down. Maybe if I wasn't seen by him he wouldn't hurt me. Yet, something in me told me to stand up, make him see you. I wanted him so much, but all he could do was hurt me. Oh how I wanted to love him. He hurt me every day, but I got a strange feeling when I looked into his face. It was like he didn't see me. He struck me in places he knew were numb, like my hand. He'd once stepped on that and it had limited feeling now. It confused me. I couldn't tell who he saw when he hit me. I angered him somehow, and it hurt me to see him like this. A madman, a shell of his former and beautiful self. An angry person, incapable of loving anyone. I wanted to love him so much, but even when he wasn't hitting or hurting me he didn't seem to see me. He spoke hateful words to me every day.
"Get up you weakling! Stop crying!" I pulled myself off the floor and slowly retreated towards my room.
"You are so stupid!" he lashed at me and as his hand connected with my cheek I felt a ring he wears cut into my skin. The blood flowed down, face wounds bleed the worst. Oh god! I wanted him so badly, wanted his love, his protection against the world, but I needed protection from him first. He certainly knew how to hurt me.
*Are you aware of how you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you
Like I'm not real*
Bakura's p.o.v
God! Why am I doing this? It hurts me as much as it must hurt him, but I can't stop. It's not Ryou. I love that little tenshi. It's me, the insults, the pain, that's for me. I am such a chicken, a weakling. I can't stand the pain on myself, so I inflict it on him. Maybe if I change his own appearance I won't see myself in him so much. Slowly it seems to work, scars disfigure his face but it's like scratching a beautiful painting. It makes me feel worse and then I hate myself and I want to hurt myself, but I won't do that. It's not my fault! I stepped towards him as he backed away, covering the fresh flow of blood down his face with a shaking hand. "Stand still," I command him.
He obey's and I feel a quick flash of pride, he is mine to control, I can change him as much as I want. I kick out at his shin, miss and hit his knee and he crumples to the floor and suddenly I can't bare it, what is wrong with me, I am a tomb robber, I have no feelings for anyone, not even him. I reach down; take his arm to help him up. I may be losing my mind but for this moment, for this tiny space in time I think it's possible that I have a heart.
As my fingers close around his arm, as gently as I can because I'm shaking so badly, he begins to shake. I brushed a strand of hair away from the cut and he draws back. I try to pull him to his feet but his eyes go wide and he wrenches out of my grasp.
*Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
burning with a lost stare*
That does it, I am back to my normal self, the pity is gone, and I can hurt him now. I celebrate my new power by kicking him into the wall where he stays. If he won't take me then I feel no pity, I can't waste my time with someone like him. I look down at him. "speak baka," He stares at me, "didn't you hear me, speak,"
"wha, what do you want me to say?"
"I don't care, tell me what you think of me, of this," I knew I was asking for a reason to get mad because I still had a lot of energy but no reason to let it fly. I am nothing if not logical, maybe in a twisted sort of way. I don't force myself to act if there is no thought behind it. I won't hurt him unless I feel angry, hurt or afraid, he cannot see weakness. A punch is a good way to hide my shaking hands. I need a reason, if only a small one to hurt him, the realization that he was so much, but so different from me had intrigued me. It was some time ago when I stopped hurting myself and turned to him. The same effect except that I didn't feel it. He seemed puzzled by this, confused and hurt. Now he cowered at my feet, and I was giving myself reasons to be angry.
"I. I. I don't know,"
"Yes you do, but since you will not answer me I shall have to punish you, you do not disobey me," there, that got him talking. Unfortunately, that's all it is, talking, an empty rambling, just to keep me from hurting him, I would like to. I would like to hurt him, but I won't. Instead I shut him up with a warning finger put harshly down on his mouth.
"silence, you have nothing to say, you're just afraid, go away now, I have no use for you at the present moment," He jumps to his feet and runs out of the room and I watch him with grim satisfaction, I can make him do what I want him to, when I want him to, but why did I feel a stab of guilt? This is so unlike me. My emotions are trying to get the better of me, why does he have to look so damn much like me. If he were different I could content myself with being simply manipulative and a little harsh, but since he provides a scapegoat for my pain he gets the worst of it.
I followed him into his room where I found him curled up on the bed, using a sheet to stop the blood from his face from spreading. I kept silent so he wouldn't notice me and watched him. He wasn't crying and I could see the reflection of his face in the mirror when he got up to look at his cut. The look was one I wouldn't forget, pain and even, maybe a little anger, indignation. I made myself visible in the mirror and I new he saw me because his jaw tightened but he seemed to think if I thought that he hadn't noticed me I'd go away and leave him alone for a while. Well, I will, but he will pay, he should be my hikari. I should be able to use him for what ever I want, but there's something wasted about him. His usefulness is fading as he becomes oblivious to my torment, and it makes me mad. I need him to fear me with fresh terror; my lust for power isn't satisfied, since there is a zombiish air about his fear. Why do I even care about the brat. I should just steal his ring, give it to someone else and get rid of him.
*Why should I care
You weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone*
Ryou's p.o.v.
I studied the long gash in my cheek and then noticed him in the doorway, reflected next to me. My jaw tightened but I ignored him, if I didn't talk to him maybe he'd leave me alone. I shook at the murderous look on his face as he turned away, but I was angry too. I thought I knew why he hurt me. He probably had someone, perhaps a lover back in ancient Egypt, though I found it hard to imagine, who looked like me and hurt him. I was just the shadow of someone he was angry at, and for some reason it really made me mad. I was just a past person shaped punching bag. It made all the pain seem useless and wasted. If that's all it was then I was suffering for nothing, except his self-satisfaction, but that shouldn't have surprised me, that was all he cared about, himself. I swear, every time he hits me I don't even think he sees me. His eyes are filled with hatred, but he never meets mine, and his look makes it appear that he was searching for something, and this pissed me off. If I was going to suffer I wanted it to be for me, not for someone else. I poked angrily at the cut and scowled as more blood ran down my cheek. It wasn't blood that used to be on my cheek, Bakura had used to care for me. I remembered those days, used them to keep myself sane. He had been, almost kind, a little psychotic, a little sadistic but he'd been kind. I think he had a power trip after those days. He must've seen me becoming too comfortable. He had to remind me who was boss, but the power trip hadn't ended. He had stayed the same and those days were forgotten. I missed them. He thought I was stupid, that I was to innocent to understand his need for power. I understood, and I had the same need myself. It wasn't as strong, or neurotic, but it was my own need for control. I didn't like to rely on others; I liked to be in control of my own destiny. I hated the power he had over me, but I was too scared to let my disgust show. He had acted crazy before and it had almost gotten my friends and I killed. The power surge had taken over in that instant, in the duel where I was the change of heart card. I didn't want him to control our fate, so I had acted. Probably saved all our lives, but paid dearly for it, but for that brief moment I had control. I had, rather frighteningly, liked it. But now here I was, he was in control again and I was his punching bag to relieve himself of all his fury. And it was all wasted
*Am I just someone you place beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around do you recognize my face
You used to love me you used to hug me
But now that's not the case
Everything is not ok
I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Burning with the lost stare*
Bakura's p.o.v
I slammed into the kitchen and went to the sink to wash Ryou's blood off my hands. Unfortunately for both of us when I reached in I had my first meeting with the live lobster Ryou had been planning to cook. "Ahh!" I withdrew my hand from the sink and sent the despicable creature spinning across the kitchen where it's shell cracked satisfyingly. I walked slowly and cautiously over to it and poked it with a knife that I'd found on the counter. It didn't move and I was pleased. I picked it up and scowled at it as it slightly twitched. "You bastard," I growled at it. The stupid pink lump seemed to glare at me and I dropped it into the cooking pot on the counter, which had no water in it as of yet. Then I peered warily over the edge of the sink before putting my hands in again. The lobster had taken a nice chunk out of my finger and I was fairly pissed. I washed my hand, all the while muttering curses at the lobster.
Ryou's P.O.V.
I finished cleaning the cut and had just put down the disinfectant when I heard a scream from Bakura. I assumed that it was just one of his little things that he did when he was pissed, but when I heard more muttering I sneaked to the kitchen where I found him prodding my lobster with a long and rather frightening looking knife. I watched as he picked it up gingerly and dropped it into an empty pot and continue to wash his hands, after looking into the sink with a suspicious look which almost made me laugh. I decided against it because he looked like he would bite off my head if I did, so as quietly as I could I snuck back to my room.
Bakura's P.O.V
The last of the blood was off my hands when I walked into the living room. Ryou's father wasn't home and I liked it this way. Less explaining and excuses had to be done and told and I could make a mess in my tirades without arousing suspicion. I sat on the couch and brooded about my hikari. I needed to make him respect me, not that it mattered, but if he respected me then bending him would be that much easier. I needed to show him that how comfortable he was wasn't the permanent state of things. I would have to do something truly awful to make him feel it, feel that I was in charge. I decided to start with his friends. I had used Ryou to get at them once before, and if the little shit hadn't betrayed me then I think I would have had the puzzle and revenge for the influence they had had on Ryou. "Ryou!" I called and heard him sigh from the next room and come out slowly, looking nervous, good. Nervous was how I liked him.
"Yes Bakura-sama?"
"We, my dear hikari," he shivered and I smiled sweetly at him, "have some business to attend to, can you guess what it is?"
"No," I shook my head sadly
"What is my main goal in life hikari?"
"World domination," he muttered and I was slightly surprised at the resentment in his voice. Normally I wouldn't have accepted that but I was in a hurry and for the sake of time I would let it go.
"Right, but what do I need to get what I want?" he thought for a second,
"The millennium items?"
"Very good, but which one of these do I want the most?"
"The puzzle," he said, making sure that his eyes didn't meet mine.
"Good, and I need your body, so I will be using it for a while, just thought I'd let you know,"
Ryou's P.O.V.
"And what do I need to get what I want?" I shivered inside, I knew but I pretended to think, just to hide the fury that popped up unexpectedly. Hadn't he had enough of that yet?
"The millennium items?" I asked, trying to sound stupid.
"Very good, and which of these do I want the most?" damn, he was still on that.
"The puzzle," I was sick of that. I was ready to kill him and cry at the same time because I knew that my friends would be hurt. His next words came to me like an expected slap in the face.
"Good, and I will be using your body for a while, just thought I'd let you know," I hated it when he did that, and this time he was going to know how much I detested being his shell, just so he didn't' have to go as himself.
"No," I was defending my friends and hoped they would appreciate it, because I think he's about to kill me, but what does it matter, they'll be safe.
*Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone*
"No?" he looked outraged. "How dare you say no to me! I am your master,"
"No, You are my other half! We are one!" I was so sick of being controlled, I think I finally snapped.
"We are not one! I am immortal and strong, you are weak, and we are not equal!" I was ready to strangle him with my own hands.
"Bakura! Why can't you see that we are! We are the same person," he was mad now, I could read his face like a book and I read murder murder murder all over it.
"I am not like you!"
"If you would look past your stubbornness you could see that you are!" I was begging him now, pleading for equalness, only then could it go back to the way it was. I needed to make him understand, it was necessary for our continued joint existence. To save my life I had to make him realize that we were equal and one in the same.
*Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud*
Bakura's P.O.V.
He thought we were equal! How could he think that, and how dare he defy me. This is going to far, but I'm too mad to hit him.
"If you would look past your stubbornness you could see that you are!" why was he trying, it was pointless. He was not my equal but my lesser. He had not under took the hardships of Egypt and so couldn't understand, and he was not thinking straight. What was he thinking?
"We are not equals!" I repeated.
*Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
You weren't there, when I was scared
And I was so alone
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
And I was so alone*
Ryou's P.O.V.
"This is it Bakura!" I screamed. The life I had been leading had finally caught up to me. I was tired of being a puppet.
"Are you threatening me?" Threatening him? I guess I was, but against what. I had to open my mouth and spill all before he got his mind back and started to go on with the business of knocking me senseless.
"No! I'm trying to make you understand! I'm sick of being ruled and unless I can become at least more of your equal I'm not staying!" there, I had said it. Now, how would he respond. What would he say.
"I don't care if you leave, but you are my hikari, and you should listen to me! I am your master! You have no idea what kind of hell I can put you through!" he didn't think this was hell?
"I don't care, you can try it! You have never been there when I needed you, and I don't care what you try to do to me, because I am leaving, I can't take this any more!" He looked slightly stunned as I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door. Thankfully he was to stunned to move.
*Why should I care
You weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere
Why should I care
you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere*
Bakura's P.O.V.
He was leaving, just like that. I had to stop him. He couldn't disobey me, could he? I wanted to draw him back, but at the same time I understood. I had seen something in him that wasn't normal. My own power lust was reflected in those burning chocolate eyes. I knew if he stayed that we would never get anywhere, we would just keep crashing into each other. I would get in his way, which I didn't care about, and he would get in mine, because now that he had done it once the power was still there. He wouldn't go back to being the giving little hikari anymore. I knew he was his own person, but it was more a curiosity that kept me in my seat as he slammed the door with his bag over his shoulder. I had wondered for a moment if he wouldn't chicken out and crawl back, looking for acceptance and forgiveness. If he had done this I would have beaten him within an inch of his life, but he kept going. Strangely, I felt more respect then ever because he didn't look back. He was right, we couldn't co-exist. It was then that I realized how much I was going to miss him. No matter how weak, he was still my hikari, and I would miss him. But, if he wanted to leave then who was I to stand in his way. He would be one less problem to worry about, I wouldn't have to look at myself anymore, and could ignore the faults that nagged at me subconsciously. It was good he was gone, and I could proceed with my original plan with nothing in my way. I liked it this way, or at least, I think I do.
*why should I care
cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere*
A/N: ok, that turned out weirder then I expected, sorry for all the pov changes. It was sort of necessary to keep the story going, but I want you to tell me what you think, should I make this into an entire cd fic, do a chapter for each song, or would you rather I keep it like this? I want to know what you think, should I continue, or leave well enough alone Tell me, and either way, REVIEW!! And all flames will be as I have said, given to Bakura, and that is very dangerous.
Ttfn
Katia
A/N: ok, this was destine for a fic of mine, a dark and angsty fic, so I'm fulfilling destiny. It took me about three days to get an idea, my muses have been slacking but now I've got one, it's not one of my best ideas but It'll do.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, though I wish I did, because then I would own Bakura!!! But as I don't I will make myself content with huggling him and telling you that I don't own this song either. It's owned by Avril Lavigne, so if I get sued for claiming ownership then, well, I didn't claim it! So don't sue me! I'm broke!
Ryou's p.o.v
I crouched down. Maybe if I wasn't seen by him he wouldn't hurt me. Yet, something in me told me to stand up, make him see you. I wanted him so much, but all he could do was hurt me. Oh how I wanted to love him. He hurt me every day, but I got a strange feeling when I looked into his face. It was like he didn't see me. He struck me in places he knew were numb, like my hand. He'd once stepped on that and it had limited feeling now. It confused me. I couldn't tell who he saw when he hit me. I angered him somehow, and it hurt me to see him like this. A madman, a shell of his former and beautiful self. An angry person, incapable of loving anyone. I wanted to love him so much, but even when he wasn't hitting or hurting me he didn't seem to see me. He spoke hateful words to me every day.
"Get up you weakling! Stop crying!" I pulled myself off the floor and slowly retreated towards my room.
"You are so stupid!" he lashed at me and as his hand connected with my cheek I felt a ring he wears cut into my skin. The blood flowed down, face wounds bleed the worst. Oh god! I wanted him so badly, wanted his love, his protection against the world, but I needed protection from him first. He certainly knew how to hurt me.
*Are you aware of how you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you
Like I'm not real*
Bakura's p.o.v
God! Why am I doing this? It hurts me as much as it must hurt him, but I can't stop. It's not Ryou. I love that little tenshi. It's me, the insults, the pain, that's for me. I am such a chicken, a weakling. I can't stand the pain on myself, so I inflict it on him. Maybe if I change his own appearance I won't see myself in him so much. Slowly it seems to work, scars disfigure his face but it's like scratching a beautiful painting. It makes me feel worse and then I hate myself and I want to hurt myself, but I won't do that. It's not my fault! I stepped towards him as he backed away, covering the fresh flow of blood down his face with a shaking hand. "Stand still," I command him.
He obey's and I feel a quick flash of pride, he is mine to control, I can change him as much as I want. I kick out at his shin, miss and hit his knee and he crumples to the floor and suddenly I can't bare it, what is wrong with me, I am a tomb robber, I have no feelings for anyone, not even him. I reach down; take his arm to help him up. I may be losing my mind but for this moment, for this tiny space in time I think it's possible that I have a heart.
As my fingers close around his arm, as gently as I can because I'm shaking so badly, he begins to shake. I brushed a strand of hair away from the cut and he draws back. I try to pull him to his feet but his eyes go wide and he wrenches out of my grasp.
*Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
burning with a lost stare*
That does it, I am back to my normal self, the pity is gone, and I can hurt him now. I celebrate my new power by kicking him into the wall where he stays. If he won't take me then I feel no pity, I can't waste my time with someone like him. I look down at him. "speak baka," He stares at me, "didn't you hear me, speak,"
"wha, what do you want me to say?"
"I don't care, tell me what you think of me, of this," I knew I was asking for a reason to get mad because I still had a lot of energy but no reason to let it fly. I am nothing if not logical, maybe in a twisted sort of way. I don't force myself to act if there is no thought behind it. I won't hurt him unless I feel angry, hurt or afraid, he cannot see weakness. A punch is a good way to hide my shaking hands. I need a reason, if only a small one to hurt him, the realization that he was so much, but so different from me had intrigued me. It was some time ago when I stopped hurting myself and turned to him. The same effect except that I didn't feel it. He seemed puzzled by this, confused and hurt. Now he cowered at my feet, and I was giving myself reasons to be angry.
"I. I. I don't know,"
"Yes you do, but since you will not answer me I shall have to punish you, you do not disobey me," there, that got him talking. Unfortunately, that's all it is, talking, an empty rambling, just to keep me from hurting him, I would like to. I would like to hurt him, but I won't. Instead I shut him up with a warning finger put harshly down on his mouth.
"silence, you have nothing to say, you're just afraid, go away now, I have no use for you at the present moment," He jumps to his feet and runs out of the room and I watch him with grim satisfaction, I can make him do what I want him to, when I want him to, but why did I feel a stab of guilt? This is so unlike me. My emotions are trying to get the better of me, why does he have to look so damn much like me. If he were different I could content myself with being simply manipulative and a little harsh, but since he provides a scapegoat for my pain he gets the worst of it.
I followed him into his room where I found him curled up on the bed, using a sheet to stop the blood from his face from spreading. I kept silent so he wouldn't notice me and watched him. He wasn't crying and I could see the reflection of his face in the mirror when he got up to look at his cut. The look was one I wouldn't forget, pain and even, maybe a little anger, indignation. I made myself visible in the mirror and I new he saw me because his jaw tightened but he seemed to think if I thought that he hadn't noticed me I'd go away and leave him alone for a while. Well, I will, but he will pay, he should be my hikari. I should be able to use him for what ever I want, but there's something wasted about him. His usefulness is fading as he becomes oblivious to my torment, and it makes me mad. I need him to fear me with fresh terror; my lust for power isn't satisfied, since there is a zombiish air about his fear. Why do I even care about the brat. I should just steal his ring, give it to someone else and get rid of him.
*Why should I care
You weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone*
Ryou's p.o.v.
I studied the long gash in my cheek and then noticed him in the doorway, reflected next to me. My jaw tightened but I ignored him, if I didn't talk to him maybe he'd leave me alone. I shook at the murderous look on his face as he turned away, but I was angry too. I thought I knew why he hurt me. He probably had someone, perhaps a lover back in ancient Egypt, though I found it hard to imagine, who looked like me and hurt him. I was just the shadow of someone he was angry at, and for some reason it really made me mad. I was just a past person shaped punching bag. It made all the pain seem useless and wasted. If that's all it was then I was suffering for nothing, except his self-satisfaction, but that shouldn't have surprised me, that was all he cared about, himself. I swear, every time he hits me I don't even think he sees me. His eyes are filled with hatred, but he never meets mine, and his look makes it appear that he was searching for something, and this pissed me off. If I was going to suffer I wanted it to be for me, not for someone else. I poked angrily at the cut and scowled as more blood ran down my cheek. It wasn't blood that used to be on my cheek, Bakura had used to care for me. I remembered those days, used them to keep myself sane. He had been, almost kind, a little psychotic, a little sadistic but he'd been kind. I think he had a power trip after those days. He must've seen me becoming too comfortable. He had to remind me who was boss, but the power trip hadn't ended. He had stayed the same and those days were forgotten. I missed them. He thought I was stupid, that I was to innocent to understand his need for power. I understood, and I had the same need myself. It wasn't as strong, or neurotic, but it was my own need for control. I didn't like to rely on others; I liked to be in control of my own destiny. I hated the power he had over me, but I was too scared to let my disgust show. He had acted crazy before and it had almost gotten my friends and I killed. The power surge had taken over in that instant, in the duel where I was the change of heart card. I didn't want him to control our fate, so I had acted. Probably saved all our lives, but paid dearly for it, but for that brief moment I had control. I had, rather frighteningly, liked it. But now here I was, he was in control again and I was his punching bag to relieve himself of all his fury. And it was all wasted
*Am I just someone you place beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around do you recognize my face
You used to love me you used to hug me
But now that's not the case
Everything is not ok
I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Burning with the lost stare*
Bakura's p.o.v
I slammed into the kitchen and went to the sink to wash Ryou's blood off my hands. Unfortunately for both of us when I reached in I had my first meeting with the live lobster Ryou had been planning to cook. "Ahh!" I withdrew my hand from the sink and sent the despicable creature spinning across the kitchen where it's shell cracked satisfyingly. I walked slowly and cautiously over to it and poked it with a knife that I'd found on the counter. It didn't move and I was pleased. I picked it up and scowled at it as it slightly twitched. "You bastard," I growled at it. The stupid pink lump seemed to glare at me and I dropped it into the cooking pot on the counter, which had no water in it as of yet. Then I peered warily over the edge of the sink before putting my hands in again. The lobster had taken a nice chunk out of my finger and I was fairly pissed. I washed my hand, all the while muttering curses at the lobster.
Ryou's P.O.V.
I finished cleaning the cut and had just put down the disinfectant when I heard a scream from Bakura. I assumed that it was just one of his little things that he did when he was pissed, but when I heard more muttering I sneaked to the kitchen where I found him prodding my lobster with a long and rather frightening looking knife. I watched as he picked it up gingerly and dropped it into an empty pot and continue to wash his hands, after looking into the sink with a suspicious look which almost made me laugh. I decided against it because he looked like he would bite off my head if I did, so as quietly as I could I snuck back to my room.
Bakura's P.O.V
The last of the blood was off my hands when I walked into the living room. Ryou's father wasn't home and I liked it this way. Less explaining and excuses had to be done and told and I could make a mess in my tirades without arousing suspicion. I sat on the couch and brooded about my hikari. I needed to make him respect me, not that it mattered, but if he respected me then bending him would be that much easier. I needed to show him that how comfortable he was wasn't the permanent state of things. I would have to do something truly awful to make him feel it, feel that I was in charge. I decided to start with his friends. I had used Ryou to get at them once before, and if the little shit hadn't betrayed me then I think I would have had the puzzle and revenge for the influence they had had on Ryou. "Ryou!" I called and heard him sigh from the next room and come out slowly, looking nervous, good. Nervous was how I liked him.
"Yes Bakura-sama?"
"We, my dear hikari," he shivered and I smiled sweetly at him, "have some business to attend to, can you guess what it is?"
"No," I shook my head sadly
"What is my main goal in life hikari?"
"World domination," he muttered and I was slightly surprised at the resentment in his voice. Normally I wouldn't have accepted that but I was in a hurry and for the sake of time I would let it go.
"Right, but what do I need to get what I want?" he thought for a second,
"The millennium items?"
"Very good, but which one of these do I want the most?"
"The puzzle," he said, making sure that his eyes didn't meet mine.
"Good, and I need your body, so I will be using it for a while, just thought I'd let you know,"
Ryou's P.O.V.
"And what do I need to get what I want?" I shivered inside, I knew but I pretended to think, just to hide the fury that popped up unexpectedly. Hadn't he had enough of that yet?
"The millennium items?" I asked, trying to sound stupid.
"Very good, and which of these do I want the most?" damn, he was still on that.
"The puzzle," I was sick of that. I was ready to kill him and cry at the same time because I knew that my friends would be hurt. His next words came to me like an expected slap in the face.
"Good, and I will be using your body for a while, just thought I'd let you know," I hated it when he did that, and this time he was going to know how much I detested being his shell, just so he didn't' have to go as himself.
"No," I was defending my friends and hoped they would appreciate it, because I think he's about to kill me, but what does it matter, they'll be safe.
*Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone*
"No?" he looked outraged. "How dare you say no to me! I am your master,"
"No, You are my other half! We are one!" I was so sick of being controlled, I think I finally snapped.
"We are not one! I am immortal and strong, you are weak, and we are not equal!" I was ready to strangle him with my own hands.
"Bakura! Why can't you see that we are! We are the same person," he was mad now, I could read his face like a book and I read murder murder murder all over it.
"I am not like you!"
"If you would look past your stubbornness you could see that you are!" I was begging him now, pleading for equalness, only then could it go back to the way it was. I needed to make him understand, it was necessary for our continued joint existence. To save my life I had to make him realize that we were equal and one in the same.
*Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud*
Bakura's P.O.V.
He thought we were equal! How could he think that, and how dare he defy me. This is going to far, but I'm too mad to hit him.
"If you would look past your stubbornness you could see that you are!" why was he trying, it was pointless. He was not my equal but my lesser. He had not under took the hardships of Egypt and so couldn't understand, and he was not thinking straight. What was he thinking?
"We are not equals!" I repeated.
*Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
You weren't there, when I was scared
And I was so alone
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
And I was so alone*
Ryou's P.O.V.
"This is it Bakura!" I screamed. The life I had been leading had finally caught up to me. I was tired of being a puppet.
"Are you threatening me?" Threatening him? I guess I was, but against what. I had to open my mouth and spill all before he got his mind back and started to go on with the business of knocking me senseless.
"No! I'm trying to make you understand! I'm sick of being ruled and unless I can become at least more of your equal I'm not staying!" there, I had said it. Now, how would he respond. What would he say.
"I don't care if you leave, but you are my hikari, and you should listen to me! I am your master! You have no idea what kind of hell I can put you through!" he didn't think this was hell?
"I don't care, you can try it! You have never been there when I needed you, and I don't care what you try to do to me, because I am leaving, I can't take this any more!" He looked slightly stunned as I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door. Thankfully he was to stunned to move.
*Why should I care
You weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere
Why should I care
you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere*
Bakura's P.O.V.
He was leaving, just like that. I had to stop him. He couldn't disobey me, could he? I wanted to draw him back, but at the same time I understood. I had seen something in him that wasn't normal. My own power lust was reflected in those burning chocolate eyes. I knew if he stayed that we would never get anywhere, we would just keep crashing into each other. I would get in his way, which I didn't care about, and he would get in mine, because now that he had done it once the power was still there. He wouldn't go back to being the giving little hikari anymore. I knew he was his own person, but it was more a curiosity that kept me in my seat as he slammed the door with his bag over his shoulder. I had wondered for a moment if he wouldn't chicken out and crawl back, looking for acceptance and forgiveness. If he had done this I would have beaten him within an inch of his life, but he kept going. Strangely, I felt more respect then ever because he didn't look back. He was right, we couldn't co-exist. It was then that I realized how much I was going to miss him. No matter how weak, he was still my hikari, and I would miss him. But, if he wanted to leave then who was I to stand in his way. He would be one less problem to worry about, I wouldn't have to look at myself anymore, and could ignore the faults that nagged at me subconsciously. It was good he was gone, and I could proceed with my original plan with nothing in my way. I liked it this way, or at least, I think I do.
*why should I care
cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere*
A/N: ok, that turned out weirder then I expected, sorry for all the pov changes. It was sort of necessary to keep the story going, but I want you to tell me what you think, should I make this into an entire cd fic, do a chapter for each song, or would you rather I keep it like this? I want to know what you think, should I continue, or leave well enough alone Tell me, and either way, REVIEW!! And all flames will be as I have said, given to Bakura, and that is very dangerous.
Ttfn
Katia