A/N: I thought that it would only make sense to add this to the beginning of this story.

I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^

Prologue

Isabelle's POV:

This year would be Elizabeth's very first Christmas and I wanted to make it as special for her as it was for me when I was young. True, she may not remember these first moments but that's what cameras and camcorders are for.

About a week before Christmas, I received gifts from Amy with lots of love and promises of being here Christmas morning.

"Look at what aunty Amy got for you." I told Lizzy as I showed her the beautifully wrapped present, "It feels kind of heavy."

Of course I wasn't expecting her to say anything given that she was only two months old. But she did flash me her gummy grin as her blue eyes lit up.

Seeing her, holding her, made me think of Elena and all the things that I missed out on.

But you knew that before giving her up…

Of course knowing what was to be expected and actually experiencing those moments with Lizzy hurt me all over again.

Never had I imagine things would be like this.

Every now and again, mentally, I would pretend that it was Elena that I was holding. But it would only last for a very short moment. Just the sight of Lizzy's blonde hair brought me back to reality.

She's not Elena.

But that didn't make me love her any less. In fact, that made me love her even more. I made sure that every memory will be treasured, every event will be celebrated, and every morning that I wake, I will see her smiling face.

The morning before Christmas Eve, I went through my normal routine. Feed and change Lizzy, pack her daily bag, and while I'm putting on my makeup, I pump her milk. Afterwards when we are ready to leave, I lock up the house and head over to Sookie's.

But this morning felt slightly different.

I feel as if I'm being watched.

I couldn't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. But I prayed to the heavens above that it was just stress from work causing me to imagine things that wasn't there.

"Well don't you look beautiful this morning." Sookie said gleefully to Lizzy as she took her from my arms.

"I just fed her no more than an hour ago so she should be good for another few hours." I informed her.

"Isabelle, I know the routine." she whispered, "Breast milk in the fridge, right?" I just nodded. "And thank goodness you label it now because just the other night Alcide woke up in the middle of the night and almost used her milk." she giggled.

Oh, gross.

"That would've been awkward."

She smiled at me as she patted Lizzy's butt, "Yeah, but it was hilarious when I heard him scream. I came running down the stairs and there he was with his bowl of cereal."

I couldn't help but imagine Alcide doing such a thing. You would think that because he's a wolf with a heightened sense of smell, he could scent the difference.

"I hope he don't do midnight runs to the kitchen anymore." I said, laughing softly.

She shook her head as she chuckled, "Oh no, that broke him out of that habit. So I should thank you for that." she said, grabbing the diaper bag from my grasp. "Oh and don't forget the Christmas party tomorrow night is at five thirty."

I nodded, "I wont forget."

"Merry Christmas!" Sookie exclaimed as she gave me a quick hug before grabbing a hold of Elizabeth. "Oh she is beautiful in that little red velvet dress Isabelle!"

"I couldn't help it, I had to get it when I saw it at Wal-Mart the other day."

Sookie smiled down at Elizabeth as she admired her Christmas outfit. "Oh my and look at those pretty lace stockings. You are one gorgeous baby." she said as she smothered her in kisses. "I want a girl now. I'm sure she would have beautiful blonde hair just like you."

I bit my lip, "I'll be right back. I have to get the gifts in the car." I said, placing the diaper bag on the side before turning around.

Damn…

"Oh ok…" she whispered, brow twitching.

Alcide appeared next to me, "I'll help."

"Are you okay?" Alcide asked immediately as he walked with me back to my car.

I nodded, "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

He cocked a brow to me, "Bella…"

I grunted, "Will you stop? I'm fine, really. I may not be lucky in love with Lizzy's dad at my side to help me but I am happy and thankful everyday that I'm blessed to be her mom."

"And your dad?"

I looked down at my feet, "Last I heard he's still in California."

"If you were in trouble you would tell me right?"

It was my turn for my brow to twitch as I glanced up at him, "Why would I be in trouble?"

"I mean financially." he groaned.

I stopped in my tracks, "Listen Alcide, you're my friend, a very good friend, one that I would love to keep. But if I know how things work, borrowing money from friends is a bad move, one that I don't ever intend to use."

"Bella, you cant do this on your own." he began, turning to face me. "Jason told me-"

I put my hands up, "Alcide Herveaux, its Christmas, I don't want to argue with you."

"Well when? You seem to avoid me every chance you get."

I laughed at that, "I'm sorry if that's what you think I'm doing but I'm not avoiding you. I'm just trying to get to work to make sure that there's a roof over my daughter's head and clothes on her back. This isn't about you." I told him, sighing as I looked up into his eyes. After a moment I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him, "You worry about me too much. Lizzy and I are fine. Besides you and Sook are helping me out a lot just by babysitting her while I'm working."

He wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my arms. "But you would come to me right? If you needed help?"

"Lets hope I never have to but yes, I will."

You are such a liar.

He laughed softly, light rumbles against my ear. "Good."

"Now can we get these presents? I'm freezing my butt off, unlike you and did I mention I'm starving?"

"Fine. But if you eat too much, you wont be able to fit into your short shorts for work when winters over."

I immediately released him, nudging him in his gut, "So what are you trying to say huh? I'm fat?"

He chuckled, "No, I didn't say that."

He had a point though. I still had about ten pounds more to lose before going back to my weight before being pregnant. Especially if I wanted to fit back into my work shorts. If not, I would have to spend money buying bigger shorts.

Ugh.

I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest, "Sure…but that's what you're implying." I smiled, "Besides, I just had a baby. What's your excuse?"

He lifted his shirt to look down at his stomach so fast, I couldn't hold back my own laughter.

"You think-"

I slapped his flat stomach, "You look fine." I told him, turning on heel as I walked back to my car. "Now lets get these and get back in there before everyone reports us missing."

I opened the trunk and began piling the presents.

"No, wait. Seriously, you think I gained some weight since being married?"

I looked around the trunk at Alcide with raised brows, "We are so not discussing this...ever. You're crazy."

"You know, I haven't seen Jessica around lately. I mean not after her and Hoyt broke up again." Sookie began. "Is she okay?"

"I've seen her at work. But for some reason she seems to be avoiding me. I don't know why." I shrugged, "When I do get a chance, she finds some excuse to leave the room…"

Jason stepped in, reaching into the bowl of salad, plucking an olive. "She's listening to the town gossip, that's why." he added as he tossed the olive into his mouth.

I froze, "Gossip? About who?" I asked him, glancing back at Sookie. "About me?"

"Hey don't look at me. I haven't been out much after having AJ so I wouldn't know what he's talking about." then she frowned, turning to him, "Jason, what are you talking about?"

He took a seat at the table, "Everyone in town thinks that I'm your baby daddy." he said in a weirdly calm tone. Sookie and I took one look at each other before bursting into laughter. We laughed so hard, tears were streaming down our faces. "Why is that so funny?" he groaned.

I shook my head, "I'm sorry but they couldn't be more wrong."

"Well I know that…" he said, rolling his eyes.

"That just goes to show you how much information they don't know. I mean what would give them that idea?" Sookie snorted.

Jason frowned, standing to his feet, clearly insulted. "She has blonde hair, so do I."

"And? I have blonde hair but AJ has his father's black hair. That doesn't mean anything." Sookie chuckled as she shook her head. "They just have nothing else better to do."

I bit my lip, "I can see his point."

Sookie's head whirled to me as her laughter subsided, "Oh my god, please tell me it isn't true!"

I smiled, "It isn't. I've never had sexual relations with Jason, I swear…ever." I paused. "But he does have blonde hair, like Lizzy's."

She nodded, "But that doesn't make Jason the father."

"Tell everyone in Bon Temps that then." Jason groaned. "I told Jessica I wasn't the father but she thinks I'm lying."

I glanced at Sookie who seem to be thinking the same as me.

"Why would she care?"

Sookie placed her hands on her hips, "Please tell me you're not responsible for-"

"Its an awkward situation and I don't want to talk about it."

"Well why aren't you and Hoyt talking anymore?" Sookie pressed him. After a moment, she gasped. "Is it because of Jessica?"

I wiped my hands on the dish towel, "Okay…I'll be in the other room." I said immediately, ducking out.

"So Jason isn't the father?" Alcide asked as he held his son in his arms, pacing the living room.

I shook my head, "Promise. Her father is entirely out of the picture, has been since before I even knew I was pregnant."

Technically.

"Then don't worry about what everyone says."

"I know that." I smiled at him, "You heard about those rumors and you didn't bother telling me about it?"

He frowned, "I see the way you are with Jason, he's like a brother to you." I nodded in agreement. "I didn't think it was true."

I rolled my eyes as I collapsed in the couch nearest to me, "You're such a liar. It probably took you some time before you disregarded what everyone was saying."

He stopped suddenly, "Bella, I've known you for awhile now and the chemistry between the two of you is nowhere near what we use to have." he paused. "But then again, it could've been one of those drunken nights."

I couldn't stop myself from looking away. "Okay, lets change the subject." I laughed nervously as I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Sam has decided to throw a Christmas party the day after Christmas and he wants you and Sookie to be there."

Alcide sat next to me, "I'm not stupid Bella, I'm a married man, a father too, and you're my really close friend. Sookie's too. But speaking from experience, that's how I knew that whatever was being said was just that, words with no truth behind it." he paused. "I wouldn't doubt you."

I glanced at him and smiled, "Thank you for believing in me."

I think.

After dinner we exchanged gifts as we sat around the living room. Then we had some eggnog spiked lightly with Brandy as we caught up with each other.

"Well I should get going." Jason said, standing to his feet.

"Why? Where are you going tomorrow?" Sookie asked.

I stood up, "Oh I should head home too. I'm feeling that sleepy effect from your turkey kicking in."

"I'll help you." Alcide and Jason said simultaneously.

"Thank you both, but I think you should stay since we're both leaving." I told Alcide.

Jason gently picked up Lizzy who was sleeping next to AJ in his playpen.

"Where's her blanket?"

I pointed to the cream colored blanket hanging over the side as I gathered our things.

"I'll be outside warming up the car." I told Jason. I walked over to Sookie who stood up to meet me, "Thank you so much for dinner. This was perfect."

She smiled, pulling me in for a hug, "Well you better get use to it because I'm planning on making this a tradition."

"Sucks Tara wasn't able to make it."

I wanted to finally meet her husband.

She nodded, "Yeah but she promised to stop by tomorrow."

Then I turned to Alcide, giving him a hug. "Thank you for dinner as well."

"Drive home safely."

I nodded, pulling away, "I will. I mean we live just right down the road." I told him as I walked toward the door, waving. "Oh and Merry Christmas!"

I sat in the car, warming it up for about five minutes before Jason emerged carrying Lizzy in his arms. Immediately I got out to open the back door for him.

"Are you sure its warm enough in there for her?" he asked as he placed her slowly in her car seat.

I smiled, "Its very warm in here. Nice and toasty." I said, placing the belt over her head, snapping in the buckle.

"I'm sorry." Jason told me, as he waited for me to step back, closing the back door.

"For what?"

"For making it harder for you and Lizzy here in Bon Temps."

"Oh don't be silly Jason, its not you."

"Maybe I should dye my hair brown or something." he suggested.

I looked up at him and smiled, "No don't do that." I told him, reaching up to run my fingers through his soft blonde hair. "I think its beautiful. You shouldn't change for anyone, least of all because of the gossip."

He nodded, "Marry me." he blurted.

Instinctively I stumbled backwards, "What?" I asked, shocked and definitely caught off guard.

Oh my god.

"Marry me Bella." he smiled as he shoved his hands in his pockets, "It will be just me, you, and Lizzy. I have a job, my own house, I'm really good with kids-"

I grabbed his arms, "Oh Jason honey, you know I love you, but I could never do that to you."

"Its what I want. I want to give back and change."

"I like you for who you are." I shook my head, "Its that Brandy talking. Listen, call me in the morning and we'll see if you still feel the same way." I said to him before hugging him. "Sleep on it okay?"

"Merry Christmas Bella. And make sure you drive home safely." He said, wrapping his arms around me. "And I wont stop…"

I looked up, "Merry Christmas Jason."

I know that I said that I was going straight home but what I heard tonight was bothering so much that I had to see Jessica. I ran home to grab the gift that I bought for both her and Bill and drove to their house.

Wait, do vampires celebrate Christmas? I thought to myself as I exited the car.

I decided to leave the car on for Lizzy since she was asleep.

Besides, I will be right here on the porch where I could see her.

I reached into the passenger's seat and grabbed the present and got out.

"Strange seeing you here."

I knew his voice anywhere. I still may be angry with him but that other part of me hoped that when I turned around, it would be the human Eric that I fell for.

Of course, that was only wishful thinking.

"Eric…" I half nodded.

He flashed me a grin as he did a full body sweep, "You look very good. How's motherhood?" he said almost in a mocking like tone.

"Thanks." I said, ignoring his question.

Like he cares…

He waited just before glancing around me and into the backseat of my car. "I see you brought your daughter with you."

I felt my heart flutter with panic. "Yes…"

He better not-

"You worry too much." he told me faster than he anticipated. Not only could I see that he was regretting what he was saying but I could still feel him. Literally. "This blood bond reminds me every damn day how weak I had become." he growled, clearly peeved.

I stepped back, feeling his anger building, "Is Jessica in there?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "If not then I will come back at a later time."

A time when you're not here. I thought to myself as I backed up against my car.

"Why are you afraid of me?" he demanded, stepping closer. "I may not remember every detail of my stay with you but what I do remember is enough to know that you really…" he cocked his head to the side, "…enjoyed my company."

What a conceited punk ass.

I felt the anger in me begin to rise. "Why wouldn't I be afraid of you? You are a vampire…last I remember."

He grinned down at me as he nodded, "Ah…yes, that I am. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that didn't stop you from fucking me every single night..." he spat.

I winced, "Yeah well, that was before my daughter."

What? How am I suppose to respond to that? It was the truth whether or not I was willing to admit that…

He slowly approached me, removing the present from my hands, placing it on the roof of my car.

"Isabelle…" he whispered in a very sensual tone.

One that I yearned for once upon a time.

Maybe he was trying to rekindle what we once had. Or maybe he was trying to get in my pants just how he's been trying many times before. But whatever the reason being, I knew one thing for sure.

After all this time…I'm still fucked in the head.

I wanted to hate him so damn much. But to hate him was to hate the human Eric. The Eric that fathered my baby. The Eric that I still loved.

For him it may have been centuries but for me…its only been months.

"Don't…" I said softly as I looked down at my feet.

Remembering his warm touch, the breath on my skin, his lips upon mine, his fingers, long and strong, laced with mine…it made me long for him. Sorrow and loneliness replaced the anger I felt towards vampire Eric and all I wanted to do was cry.

Eric's POV:

Seeing her, feeling what she's feeling has made me see the side of myself that I haven't seen in a really long time. Something that only Bella could do to me.

Humanity.

I've lived a very long life. I've seen and been through so much that it has made me appreciate this gift that I have. Living day by day, walking amongst the humans showed me how weak and vulnerable their species has become over the centuries. It revealed to me how dependent they were upon each other.

Or maybe they always been that way.

At some point along the way I had to ask myself why had I ever loved them so. For decades I watched from afar my bloodline continue to dwindle. But after seeing those that I cared about grow old, becoming even more fragile only to die right before my eyes, well, I found it best to accept the fact that I will always outlive them for they are mortal.

And I'm immortal.

"Don't…" she whispered to me softly as her gaze dropped down to her feet.

As intriguing as Bella may be, I knew that she is the key to my physical weakness. I wanted not only to touch her, to fuck her, to taste every inch of her, I wanted her to be mine.

She's dangerous…

Knowing this, knowing that I could give my life to save hers, knowing that if anyone found out how I truly felt for her, it would be something someone could hold over my head.

At that moment I had two choices; pull her into my arms, placing my lips against hers, molding my body to fit hers. Or to walk away now because knowing how frail she can make me would bring death to me.

The question that lurked at the back of mind is…

How strong am I?

I gritted my teeth as I placed one finger under her chin, lifting her face up to meet mine, I took in her blue eyes, her beauty, and her scent.

Panther…faint wolf. I noted as I inhaled her now tainted scent. Not something I wish to remember about her.

Leaving now, abandoning everything that we had built together would not only save my life, but hers as well. If I could manipulate situations the way I had manipulated Bill and Sookie, it was just a matter of time that someone in a higher position would do the same to me.

And I will die before I placed Bella and her daughter through that.

"Have a merry Christmas Bella…" I whispered just before turning to leave.

Isabelle's POV:

"I cant believe that for a moment, I almost gave into him!" I screamed the moment I opened my front door to see Amy standing there, arm full of gifts.

She jumped back, nearly dropping the gifts as she let out a loud gasp. "Jeez Bella! Merry Christmas to you too by the way."

"Sorry, come in." I nodded as I stepped aside. "Merry Christmas…"

After she placed the gifts under the tree and smothered my sleeping Lizzy with kisses, she sat with me in the living room.

"Okay, now tell me what happened."

"Eric, I saw him last night."

She cocked a brow at me, "You saw him? Why?"

"I didn't go to see him. I mean…I sort of ran into him." I groaned. "And for a moment, when he looked at me, I saw…" I paused.

Damn it, how can I explain everything to her if she isn't suppose to know that time traveling exists?

Amy nudged me, "Well…what did you see?" she asked, impatient.

I shrugged, "…I saw…something in him, almost human."

"Damn it Bella…" she exclaimed, slapping my hand, "…if I have to buy this house right up from under you, I will to get your ass out of this fucking town and away from him."

"And go where? New York? He has a penthouse there remember. Or maybe I should go back to California." I paused, letting those words marinate within her ears. "Oh no wait, he knows where my father lives too."

"Bella, that isn't fair."

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter where I live, if he wants to find me, there is no stopping him." I told her. "And no matter where I'm at, I will continue to feel this way."

"But if you choose to stay here, next time you might not be as strong."

No kidding.

"It was him who…left." I whispered.

She sighed, "Bella, its been almost a year."

"And it feels just like yesterday…" then I paused with an idea. "Can you do me a favor when you get back?"

"Sure, anything." she said immediately, grabbing my hands.

"Can you look up Anita's information. A phone number or even an address."

"Anita?" she frowned, "That bitch left us high and dry when we needed her. Why the hell would you want to talk to her?"

"Maybe she can help me get over this."

Amy stood up, frowning down at me. "Its been almost a year and you're right back to where you started. I highly doubt there's anything Anita could do to help you that you haven't already tried." then she thought a moment, "Unless you're thinking about a spell then hunny, I will cast a spell on you myself. A de-love spell to rid us all from Mr. Northman once and for all."

My face literally brightened at the thought. "Does one even exists?"

It could be the cure to my condition…

Amy grinned at me, "No, but if it did, I would've cast it on you ages ago." she groaned. "Sorry."

But what if returning to the past will make things more complicated, should you take that risk? I had to ask myself.

"I never knew how much pain I could actually hold in…" I voiced my thoughts.

Amy took one look at me with caring eyes before pulling me into her arms.

"We are women Bella, built tough with a heart deeper than any ocean. We can walk around holding our heads high with smiles on our faces and no one would know that behind that smile is scars so severe." she whispered, lips grazing my hair. "I don't think I ever loved any man the way that you have. I never gave any of them my whole heart." she paused. "Maybe it was because I was afraid of getting hurt. Or maybe it was my way of preparing myself for the long run."

"I get it, I love carelessly."

"No, that's where you're wrong. These men don't know a good thing even when she's staring at them in the face Bella. I may not think Eric is husband material but he's something to you."

I slowly sat up, pulling out from her embrace. "Please tell me you're joking."

She smiled at me, "Up until now, I just believed that you were going through a phase, a rebound after Ryan, like Nick." she paused, lacing her fingers within her lap. "I'm sorry I haven't been more supportive."

I stood up so fast, I almost lost my balance. "Oh no, don't you dare. I don't want you to be supportive."

"Do you love him Bella?"

I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that this was just a dream. But when I opened them, Amy was still sitting on my sofa waiting for a response.

I rubbed my forehead, "Its compli-"

She shook her head, "Just say it, yes or no."

I pressed my lips together, "In the shorter version, I do. And always will."

Elizabeth looks like her father, not easily forgotten.

"I deprived myself from happiness once before."

"Amy, this is different. I was betrayed by the man I loved…" No. "…or more like the vampire version of him. I cant just flip off that switch."

"Could you ever forgive him?"

I placed my hands on my hips, "Have you been drinking?" I asked her accusingly.

The only time Amy is out of her element is when she's drinking. Everyone, including her worst enemies are suddenly her best friends. She tends to be very affectionate too, might I add.

"Maybe…"

"Not really…" she whispered instead, covering her mouth.

I cocked a brow at her, "Not really?" I rolled my eyes, seeing right through her lie. "I cant believe you came here drunk! Its Christmas Amy!" I groaned. "And you're giving me relationship advice on a vampire that you cant stand?" I shook my head. "I should've known."

"I had three drinks alright? It was just something to ease the flight here, that's all." she pleaded as she stood up, grabbing my hand, "But I do want you happy." she added with a smile.

"Happy? With the guy who used powers to trick me into letting him not only into my home but into my heart?"

It took her a moment to really think about it. "Shit."

I hugged her tightly, "And she's back!" I laughed.

The year began with more problems than I had anticipated, love and heartbreak, lies unfolded, the birth of my Elizabeth, and blossoming friendships. This is exactly how I wanted to spend Christmas. I couldn't have asked for a better ending especially after all that I've been through. I could only hope to have many more happy years ahead of me with my friends and family and new traditions to come.