Title: Hanging by These Moments
Authoress: mychemicalfever
Pairing: Tony/Maxxie
Rating: Not that bad…But I'll say NC-17 just in case
Summary: I'm falling even more in love with you; I'm just hanging by a moment here with you. Set after 2x01
Disclaimer: Do not own Skins and company. Do not sue me!
A/N: This was for LiveJournal, but hey, why not put it here. I love TonyMaxxie and as such it is my duty to spread the love! Have you noticed that practically no one writes tonymaxxie on here? I was apalled! There's barely anything on Skins! Bah! Shame on you! ...Lol, jk. You know I love you. ;]
What is it that makes you the special person you are?
Is it your great attitude?
Your bright smile?
The way you're so nice to absolutely everybody?
Or the really cool way you have of just being yourself?
I breathed deep, my chest lifting steadily—crucially. I was so wet; sweating and sweating as he glided down my glimmering body. Down farther and farther he went, breaths growing more rapid. His were steadier than mine. He was going so agonizingly slow down my stomach. I couldn't see straight . . . I just shut my eyes and let him take me under . . .
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"So he's still a little spaced out. It's not like he's brain-dead. And he's not fucking around anymore, so I really don't see the problem here. You all just can't stand the fact that he might actually be a human being."
"Fuck, Michelle. Didn't mean all that . . . I was just saying; maybe he's not well enough yet to, you know, pet the pussy. And I'm not talking about Cassie's cat."
"Oh, ha ha. Well you were implying something."
"I was? Shit, I can't even understand my own thoughts anymore."
"Oh go bang a teacher Chris."
The few present of the group laughed.
". . . So do you really think he isn't ready? I don't want to push him if he can't handle it . . . But you couldn't possibly understand how hard it is not to jump the fucker."
Right.
"Just give him more a little more time . . . Christ, this is Tony we're talking about! Whether he was hit by a bus or thrown into a pit of flaming fags, he'd want to fuck something!" Anwar.
"Well then that's next on the list, eh?"
"Shut up, Chris!"
"Sorry!"
". . . What do you think, Maxxie? Tony seems to tell you a lot more then me these days. Be my inside man. Gossip's what homos are good for, yeah? . . . Sorry, just please, help me out. I'm still so lost how to act . . . Still, after all this time . . ."
. . . you a lot more than me these days. . . Yeah. A whole lot.
I didn't answer.
"Max? You with us? . . . What's got you so quiet?"
". . . I wouldn't know if he's ready."
Michelle frowns. "Well has he seemed like he might want to . . .?"
" Sorry, I just wouldn't know." My answer was immediate.
"Well why not!?"
". . ."
"Sorry."
"Yeah."
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
I bucked, unable to control my body. Sucking at each other's faces, we inhaled as much as we could. He had my cock in his hand, gripped strictly, like he wanted to just take it, box it, say it's his. I'd sound whipped if I admitted I couldn't say it wasn't. But I am.
His hand roamed back up my figure to my face. He clawed at my hot cheek, his hands shaking slightly. He must be losing control. Unheard of . . .
Lips were bitten and tugged, teeth marks and [love] bites forming on each straining, pulsating neck, leaving signs never to be interpreted. I groaned and bucked again as he mercilessly gnawed at my earlobe, then down to my neck again, and more meandering . . .
I'm falling even more in love with you
I'm standing here until you make me move
I couldn't get the look out of my mind. Her hopeful face. ". . . might want to . . .?" It repeated and repeated and repeated . . . Haunting and hacking at my bleeding, guilty conscience. I was doing the wrong thing. I was doing a horrible, unforgivable thing. I was doing the very thing that could destroy all the progress back into normalcy we had achieved. But I couldn't stop myself. He had me. Caught me so firmly around the neck I couldn't get air. He had me so bad. I wanted him so bad.
You take all of me now...
"It's not fucking around if I don't have sex with her. I haven't had sexual intercourse with anybody but you, Maxxie. I think I've been quite good."
Starving for truth
My heart was clenched brutally in my chest. Slower beats—one after another. Was I really going to take this? This torture? I was so deep into it I couldn't just pull out. He had me wrapped too tightly. Caught in the remains of a burning building. And it was impossible to deny it—I was drowning in my need for him. So over and over I would take it . . . Take it with stride. Because as terrible as it was, I fucking loved it. He couldn't be more delicious.
"Tony! Think about how she would feel for once! This would absolutely kill her!" I was begging for something I knew he would brush off. Something I wanted him to brush off. But like how my character in this twisted play is supposed to perform, I gave a convincing front of true objection. He knew I wanted it brushed off. That's why I was special. I had two faces. He didn't bother.
He gave the impression of not knowing. The spoken conversation was pointless. We were secretly speaking the truth. Our eyes gave it away. But unlike him, [what makes me human, unlike him], I felt awful about it. I had a heart. He had an imitation of one.
He brushes it off. "Michelle has a good part of my heart. (You mean that imitation you have?) I don't have to have sex with her to love her."
And there it was.
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you...
I'm living for the only thing I know
He did know how to love. I wasn't denying that. Sounds impossible though, doesn't it? But it wasn't that kind of love. He did love something. He loved the reaction he got out of throwing people off. Crashing down the defenses they protect themselves with. Power is strength. Power is control. He lives for control. Now more than ever. You always want back what you lose, no matter what it might have been. That simple allusion his protection. He's supposed to have gotten better.
"Okay," I answered.
I was stock still, screwed to the floor. So, so screwed . . .
". . . I'm not playing you, if you really think that's what's going on. I'm not that desperate for simple fucks. I could shag her if I wanted. But I don't. I like shagging you. Is that okay?"
Ha ha ha. "Is that okay?" The tosser. Don't let yourself be seen too much Tony! You just have to be a bastard. That's your definition of human.
"You know I love you too." His smile. Not a smile. His smile.
"God, Tony . . ." Why do you do this to me?
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
Thrusts into my contracting body. I was closing in on the part of him in me; farther in, and farther back, and in, and back . . . Repeat process. Increase speed as desired. Continue until necessary.
My slippery hands clutched at his shoulder blades, bringing him closer. I wanted all of him in me. It was only fair. If I couldn't have all of him outside of these limited moments, then I'd get as much as I could when I could. It was a great feeling. The feeling of control . . . Of power. I had so much of it. It's maddening. He screams my name as we release together. I had him.
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
"Tony?" My voice was meek.
We lie there in bed, wrapped in each other, holding on to what we have. All that we have. Only here and now.
His bated breath tickles my skin as he relaxes his heated face into the crook of my neck. His lazy hand twirls around in my soaked, sticky, mixed-breed hair. I blew softly into his dark shade as I talked.
"Mm?" Lost the basic skills of word formation.
Hanging by a moment here with you
I'm falling even more in love with you
". . . Never mind."
"Yuh'huh." Post-sex talk for "yeah, okay".
He and his slowed breathing were disappearing into deep slumber. I let him pass away, comfortably inhaling a dainty oxygen source of his murky-scented hair.
I absentmindedly, perhaps out of sheer boredom as my partner was stuck to me in sleep and I had no chance of following after him anytime soon, went over a Shakespearean quote Tony had said once in a quick Literature course Angie had presented to us;
"When to the . . . sessions of sweet . . . sweet silent thought . . . I summon up r— . . . re— . . . re—remembrance of things . . ." I frown and mutter fuck as the line fails to come to me easily, ". . . I . . . I . . . Fuck." I leave it, defeated.
"I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought."
I blink as the muffled voice once again creeps over my cooled neck.
"But alas, fair son of a merciless god, thou indeed shall not grasp as such." He began to drift off once more. I feel him smile into me. "But don't worry too much, Maxxie," he sighs out, "You might have me some day."
I smirk. You fuck, I so do have you.
Love,
Paramour