Chapter 1

Sometimes, when your really scared time passes slower than ever. Everything is a million times longer than usual. But then again sometimes when your scared but you have a purpose things go by so fast that you hardly have time to react.

When I shot the soldier that was surrendering, well I've tried not to think too much about that. But it was a mistake. Sometimes when you are so hyped up, when your adrenaline levels reach the max, when everything you are doing has to happening instantly, when your so afraid that you are about to lose the one friend that is closer to your heart than any one else. The one friend that you would go to Hell with, when you think that the friend is in instant from death you don't think clearly, you react.

I sometimes look at the index finger on my left hand. I look at it, the finger that killed. I'm just glad that Ellie's alive. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her when we went to meet the helicopter, she was alive, she was alive. I never want to kill, never again. I've killed too much! I took so many lives trying to survive in this war. So many times I've wondered if I have something special, if I'm going to do something great. Or if my nerve went sooner than the guy over there and my bullet hit him first.

Sometimes I think its just that. Sometimes I wonder if it was just because my nerve went first, half a second before the other guy. Because my mind said "Shit trigger finger squeeze!"

In fact I'm sure it was just that, I'm sure that I wouldn't have been here if it hadn't have been for my nerve being lost a fraction quicker than the other bloke.

I wonder, if there is a God, when you get there, if you get there you get to talk to him. If he explains that your brain was just a fraction too slow. If you wake up and he says, "Sorry mate, your brains a wanker, it wasn't fast enough go sit on that cloud and see what the faster bloke is doing with his life right now."

Well maybe not that, but this is getting off topic. Just like a few hours ago, when me and Lee started talking about this exact thing. We started off talking about how much land we would win back from these bastards and it turned into reaction time.

I wonder if reaction time is just your nerve losing it, if the faster your reaction the weaker you are when it comes to you nerve. It would seem logical, then again maybe your just a stoner if you can't react, maybe your nerve just isn't there.

Anyways, I was lying on the edge of a bank on the far side of one of Ellie's paddocks. I was watching the track. Waiting, just waiting for them to come. I realised that if they came my way I might be able to save the lot of them. But in reality the rest of the lads knew, we had agreed on it. If they came we would stall them for as long as we could.

Lee had joked to me about throwing pebbles at the tanks to get there attention, it was one of weird laughs, you know the stressed laugh.

I just lay there scanning when the helicopter came overhead. It was as loud as a bloody army of tanks rolling up on your doorstep and everything around you was consumed with the noise.

I looked back and saw these guys jumping out and passing crates and barrels out of the copter. I smiled and then looked back out into the darkness.

After a few minutes the copter lifted off into the air. I smiled, I hoped this was a clean getaway.

I stayed where I was for about five minutes. Suddenly I heard something move from behind me. I froze and looked back. I saw something move from behind a tree and then I thought I saw something moving off in the distance, my hand went to my pocket until I remembered that I'd lost the bloody knife to the little shits back in Stratton.

I picked up a big ass stone and got ready, whatever happened I wouldn't go down without a fight, without a blaze of guns and blood and adrenaline and definitely testosterone.

Then suddenly Kevin skidded in beside me, frigging idiot. He had approached so frigging quickly. I just about clunked him with that. He looked at me and said "The copter's came and left mate, we can go help."

Bloody Kevin, even Gavin could have heard the frigging copter landing and leaving, I was only about five hundred metres away from it for frig sake! So I looked at him and said.

"No shit Sherlock, that big thing with the blades spinning around I thought that was a great big bird."

Kevin took offence which just made things worse.

"Hang on I thought I saw something out there." I said as Kevin sunk lower into the bank.

"Do you think it's an ambush."

"Well if it is they're taking the bloody time. You've made as much noise as an elephant and they would have seen you when you slid over. If they're out there they're waiting for something."

"What?" Asked Kevin.

"Well think about it. They shoot you and me that gets them squat. Then they might let who ever got of the copter escape. That's the thing, I think they're just watching. They want to know what they're up against. If we're going to get it, it'll be a tad later."

So we waited for another few minutes. Finally I picked up a rock and threw it at the tree. There was a thud but nothing else happened. I crawled backwards and Kevin waited for a second before picking up a rock and throwing it into the trees.

Nothing, I was glad Kevin had done that though. It had proved that nothing was out there. Or if it was they weren't afraid of rocks the size of fists coming at them.

So we went to the meeting point and saw the others coming as the two of us hoisted a set of boxes up and began to take them to the stash over by a group of rocks about a hundred metres away.

The man was about thirty, sort of tall, black hair and bushy eyebrows. I could smell the smoke off of him, he was definitely a smoker. We stood there and had a rapid fire conversation.

It ended with him wanting us to take the supplies in the direction of Stratton and that's when I got a little pissed. Colonel Finley, the bastard, was going to get us to do something again. All I could think was, "Well shit, on the road again. Shit!"

Ellie decided to take the crates to the wetlands, that meant a lot of carrying. The five of us could do it in two trips. But all three of the guys and the Kiwi soldier took a little extra so that there was only one crate for two people on the way back.

When we got there Ellie and Kevin got the job of hiding the crates. I had to take the other two back to where we were in the first place. That's one thing Ellie will tell you, I know her property as well as she knows mine. We both could tell you exactly where you were if you just told us what the tree looked like. All right we weren't that good but you get the point.

So as we were heading back along the shoreline we couldn't resist, there is this part where you go up about ten metres. Well me and Lee slipped up there and Lee grabbed some mud and chucked it at them.

Not to be out done I grabbed a rock, well maybe closer to a boulder and heaved it at them. I've never seen Kevin react like that. He just about pissed himself I think. The boat rocked back and forth and the oar was just about lost.

I don't think the two of us had laughed that hard since the war started. Suddenly the Kiwi went purple and started to yell at us in a whisper, if that's possible.

He told us off and we left. All the way back I talked to lee in murmurs about him, the Kiwi guy. He was strange, slightly, well odd. I mean any time you drop in a helicopter for twenty-four hours its odd but this time it was really odd.

There was this feeling about him. He had this overly worried air to him. He was jumpy and his head was spinning three sixty. He was real bloody worried, not saying I wasn't, but he was over the top.

Anyways he had this anger about him too and we found out why later. But he just seemed like he was so macho and ready to attack but at the same time he couldn't. It was like he was in a bubble, the rest of the world couldn't get in and from the inside he must have felt that he couldn't get out.

But that's off the plot. We staggered to the hiding spot and picked up the last crates. I made sure I got the two small ones that weighed more than the big barrel and the big crate.

Why? Because I didn't like the size of the box, too bulky and the barrel would be hard as heel to carry, its shape was all wrong.

When we got to back to Ellie and Kevin they looked exhausted. I just got everything onto the boat then slipped up to watch for the enemy.

In the distance I heard a helicopter but I didn't get anyone, it was going in the opposite direction. I think they might have been following the Kiwi one but I couldn't be sure.

Anyways when they got back from their second row across the water Lee picked up some rocks and Ellie gave him a string of curses and he dropped it sulkily, which didn't make anything better I was going to hear about this next time me and Lee was alone.

The Kiwi was half asleep curled up under a tree when Ellie screamed at Lee, that woke him. Now the bastard was really starting to show signs of his true anger and I was thinking about ways to wind him up, should he get to pissed off at us. I was hoping to maybe get all of us a laugh or two.

So as Ellie tried hopelessly to tie the dingy to a tree the rest of us went and got some branches and leaves to cover the dingy as well as cover our tracks.

The Kiwi at this point had gone up to the top of the little rise by the water and was staring off into the distance, this was only the start of what made me like him slightly less. He was so overly professional that sometimes he would forget that he should be helping.

But then again maybe he didn't help us much because he figured that we it wasn't his problem. Although I wish he would have thought about it a little closer, it was our bacon on the lines here. If he decided not to help us in the slightest when he could have showed us a little trick to make us less noticeable and we died because of it, well.

I'm rambling now. I've got to stop and get on with the story. When we finally finished it was nearly 5.00 and we were all ready to hit the ground and sleep forever.

But we al realised that we still had to climb up Tailor's Stitch and the trek down into Hell, that was what was getting at us, this would be Hell and boy were we tired!