We Do Not Have One World But Two
This is my second ouran Fanfic, and my first involving the twins. You may ind it a bit out there but ohhh well XD
Enjoy!!
Credit to my good friend who helped me try to identisy what I felt was off with this.
It's their world and ours, that is what we have been telling ourselves since we could speak, think and act. This is the lie we have weaved, the play we have performed and the journey we had decided upon.
Neither of us would have been aware of the lie - that, which was so well told that it made it that the storytellers who had created it themselves were unaware it was anything but the truth - if it had not been for her. She tore down not our world, but our lie that in itself had created one imaginary world from two tormented worlds.
She did not drag us into a world where there are us and them, she just created the opportunity for each of us to move deeper into our own world to become familiar with that comforting silence, the sound of our own minds and hearts.
Twins are identical, that fact alone makes it difficult for someone to differentiate between us both. The fact that we act almost the same way makes the task 10 times harder. The fact that we lost ourselves in the lie that we owned a shared world, makes it 100 times harder.
But no matter how much we believe and how hard we try to make it true we do not have the power to merge two worlds to make one.
This means that we ourselves are each in their own world, a world which is uncomfortable, a world where everything should feel familiar but does not feel our own.
OUR favorite food is spicy, but I can't remember who decided that and why. I can force the feeling of like onto myself, but I can't force my world to accept it. My world, like the antibodies which are so similar to my brother's, try to disinfect the world of the familiar yet unfamiliar forced feeling and tries to clean away the stain on my heart. I don't understand why we have to force ourselves to hold favoritism over the same thing, I just know that when we do, them unfamiliar worlds, that each of us occupy become all that more less familiar.
Symmetry is supposedly a beautiful thing, but can never truly exist. We don't have our own world apart from everyone else. Each half, that was once a whole that was destined to split, has their own world. It's just that we are so lost in the lie, so attached to that former whole, so scared of our own thoughts and so damn idiotic that we wouldn't admit it.
She saved us from losing ourselves by pushing us into our own worlds, by pointing out that subtle difference in our personalities. 'You may be similar but you are not the same', that's what she had said. The shocked expression on our faces at that time were not for show, she had pointed out something that we were both unaware of, something that needed to be said by someone else for it to sink in. That is when I began to retreat into my own world, and Hikaru into his.
Even as I think this, Hikaru is staring off into the distance after that cross dresser girl and I also can't help but stare after her.
I love her too.
But unlike the spicy food, I knew that I had decided to love her and why I decided to love her. The feeling in my heart may be unfamiliar but it feels familiar, it feels my own. My world has accepted it full-heartedly.
Hikaru and I finally found some similarity in our own separate worlds from the most unfamiliar feeling of all.
Well What did you think?
Reviews and critiscism is welcome