Nothing Is What It Seems To Be
I have been watching her for years. Privately rejoicing in her accomplishments and successes, cringing at her near catastrophic escapades. I love her beyond all reason…I have killed for her to keep her safe. I live in the fear that one day I will lose her forever just as I have lost another I have loved - to death.
I present one face to the public and my family about my feelings for her. My public persona has been looked at with great disdain, stories are spread about me and my treatment of her. I have been portrayed as having an addiction. None of this is true even though it has been printed. My father once told me "don't believe anything you read and only half of what you see." In my case and my treatment of Steph it is "don't believe anything you read and especially not what you see and hear."
The stories about me are escalating at such a rapid rate I find the burden of them almost intolerable and have trouble distancing myself in my mind from them so that I can continue on my quest to protect her and guide her. I have to remind myself that I have by my actions and deeds created this illusion that I don't care. I alone bear this responsibility.
I found out today that one person has seen through my disguise…now I have to come clean and explain to them the reasons for my actions.
It was 4 a.m. and I was fixing a pot of coffee when there was a light knock on the door.
"I've been expecting you. Would you like some coffee or tea Ricardo? Have you had breakfast?" He accepted the coffee but turned down breakfast. We sat there quietly sipping our coffee staring at each other in the quiet of the morning.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would you mislead Steph on how you feel about her?"
"Why would you say and do the things you do to constantly hurt her?"
"Why would you push her away?"
"Please explain this to me because, for the life of me, I have tried to understand your actions."
"How much time do you have? It's a long story and to fully understand it I would have to start at the very beginning."
"Mrs. Plum, for Stephanie I have all the time in the world to hear your explanation."