Relevant Definitions (please read first):

Bipolar I (one) disorder: Bipolar disorder is a chronic (lifelong) and incurable (but manageable) mental disorder in which a person has extreme mood swings from mania to depression. In Bipolar I, you've had at least one manic episode. The manic episode may be preceded by or followed by hypomanic or major depressive episodes. Mania symptoms cause significant impairment in your life and may require hospitalization or trigger a break from reality (psychosis).

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A manic episode: is a distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive or irritable/ angry mood that lasts at least one week (or less than a week if hospitalization is necessary). The episode includes persistently increased goal-directed activity or energy. Someone who has mania was called a Maniac although this term is no longer professionally used.

For both a manic and a hypomanic episode, during the period of disturbed mood and increased energy, three or more of the following symptoms (four if the mood is only irritable) must be present and represent a noticeable change from your usual behavior:

Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity

Decreased need for sleep (for example, you feel rested after only three hours of sleep)

Unusual talkativeness

Racing thoughts

Distractibility

Increased goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or agitation

Doing things that are unusual and that have a high potential for painful consequences — for example, unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, reckless driving or foolish business investments

Possiblity of harming yourself or others in severe mania

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Bipolar Psychosis: A severe episode of either mania or depression that results in a detachment from reality and includes symptoms of false but strongly held beliefs (delusions) and hearing or seeing things that aren't there (hallucinations). The most common is hearing voices that are not there. One of the many dangers is you may hear voices urging you to commit suicide. Someone who has psychosis is called Psychotic and this term is still used.

Now onto the story. Enjoy.

The internet is amazing. It has so many interesting articles…even if some shouldn't be there. I save the article on my phone and go to get the materials. The woman in the store looked at me a little strangely but I ignored her. It wasn't like I was buying a gun. I drove back home and put the tools away.

Halloween was always a strange time for me. I never got to trick or treat much as a child. I finish making a mini one and put on my door. I like decorating my house. I mean everyone calls me queen of the dead so how fitting a holiday. Jane even liked my decorations, she asked me to decorate the robber for the Annual BPD Halloween bash. I smiled and helped her.

I practiced tying them for 3 days. They were going to hang in the robber but Korsak said they creeped him out so Jane and Cailin took them to decorate their houses.

I smiled as this week was relatively quiet. Jane mostly caught up on paperwork and I did relatively easy autopsies. It was around 11 when I saw dancing colors in the morgue. Reds and blues dancing like specks in the air. I reached for them but then they vanished. I didn't think much of it.

I laughed so much the past week. I feel so high. I'm invincible. Nothing can kill me! I'm a god! I got on my motorcycle and drove. Drove so fast. I was stopped by a cop.

"Miss are you drunk?"

"No." I giggled.

"Ok. You will take a sobriety test."

I passed of course. Then I laughed a lot.

"Is there something that is funny?"

"No miss."

"Alright keep this rocket under control. Now get lost."

I sped away and then went to the motorsports race track. I did laps for an hour. I looked at the speedometer- 115. I laughed and laughed. My adrenaline was coursing through me. I headed to the party and immediately regretted it.

Jane and the others had been drinking but still noticed something. They came closer and I started to run in circles. I jumped on the table and keep speaking.

"I am god. Nothing can kill me. Nothing will. I can do anything…i…i…fuck i…hldh….jfgeoie….."

"Maura you ok?"

I pulled Jane up and kissed her. I bite her neck and started stripping her.

"Maura what the fuck?!"

Jane shoved me violently off the table and I landed on my face. She laughed at me.

"Stupid fucking whore!" she yelled or at least I think she did. She tried to help me stand. There were two Janes? Wait what? One Jane spit at me while the other smiled. My head felt dizzy. Jane punched my face and laughed at me.

"Stupid cunt! Stupid loser!"

I growled and smashed a beer bottle over her head.

I ran out of the party and drove back to my house.

"Fucking cunt! I'll kill you for this!" She yelled before I left.

I shook as I entered my house. I panted and grabbed what I wanted. I needed to find a nice quiet place. I drove to the morgue.

The morgue was quiet, peaceful, still. The complete opposite of my mind. I tried to relax and breathe deep. I couldn't get a breath. I sobbed violently.

I went and punched the shutdown button. I grabbed a chair and looked at my phone. I looked at the instructions.

1.) Place the rope in the shape of a c.

2.) Form an S.

3.)…

I went through every step and put it where I wanted. I looked around once more. Such a clean quiet morgue. I stood on the chair and felt it nice and tight around my neck but not too tight. I looked at the camera in the morgue and laughed manically.

"Bye bye. Silly World."

I kicked the chair away and fell into the dark abyss.

FIN