Right, so this is a sequel of sorts, to my other fic, ''Always" you dont have to have read it to understand this one, but i would really love it if you would read it and review anyway:) Please let me know what you think about this one though, tell me if you think it is worth continuing or should be abandoned!
She was awake; she just didn't want to get up. She was comfortable, she was happy. This was her favourite place in the world and she would do anything for just a few more seconds in it.
She was in their bed, in their room, in their loft. Something she never got tired of thinking or saying; everything was theirs.
So, she was in their bed, that alone made her happier than she ever thought it could, but that was not what made it her favourite place. She was snuggled into his side, his arms were wrapped tightly around her, shielding her, warming her, protecting her from everything and anything that dared to harm his love while they slept.
Her head rested on his bare chest, the top of her skull lining up against his collarbone, her ear pressed into his skin, directly over his steady heartbeat.
It was their position.
Ever since she had moved in, she had been plagued by nightmares, nightmares about everything from her own shooting to his. In these horrible dreams, it never ended well for them, and she had woken up more times than she could remember in a cold sweat, tears in her eyes, heart racing, thinking she had lost him.
Each time he had pulled her close, placed her hand or her head, whichever he could reach first, and placed it over his heart, proving to her that he was alive, that he was with her.
She had been embarrassed initially, hating herself for not having better control, but she had slowly gotten better, and the nightmares became fewer and farther between.
One night they had been up late talking, she was putting off sleep for as long as she could and he, knowing her the way he did, had sensed it and pulled her to him, putting her head over his heart and humming as she brought her hand up to trace the small scar that constantly reminded her of how close she had come to never being able to lie there.
They had fallen asleep in that position, and she had slept soundly for the first time in months. He had noticed immediately, and made sure that they slept like that every night.
That had been over eight months ago and she hadn't had a nightmare since.
So now she lay there, in 'their position' and battled with herself. She was hungry. Starving would have probably been a more accurate description, but she really didn't want to move.
She finally decided that she had to get up, if only because her stomach was making very loud grumbling sounds and she didn't want to wake him.
Placing a soft kiss over his scar she whispered quietly
"I'll be right back"
She paused before adding
"I love you"
He had heard it enough times, as had she from him, but neither of them ever tired from hearing it, or from saying it.
She carefully untangled herself from his arms, running her fingers through his hair and gently stroking his cheek when he stirred.
Slowly, she got off the bed, being careful not to shift around too much or jostle the mattress, he really needed his sleep, and they had been working very hard lately.
She shivered slightly, goose bumps flashing across her skin as the cold air swirled around her body. She longed to turn around and climb back into his warm embrace but her stomach was gurgling again so she knew that would have to wait.
She looked around their bedroom, trying to find some item of clothing she could put on. She doubted she would run into anyone at two thirty in the morning, but stranger things have happened and she did not want to deal with the consequences of either Martha or Alexis catching her in the nude.
She finally spotted his shirt lying near the doorway to his office, she smiled slightly as she remembered pulling it off him, he had been completely undressed before they had even reached the bed, she hadn't been far behind.
As she walked past the dresser, she opened the top draw and reached in, feeling around for a pair of his boxers she could wear, it was quite cold and she knew from past experience that his shirt only came down to her mid thigh.
Pulling his boxers on, she continued out of the room, grabbing his shirt off the floor on her way past, pulling it over her head as she exited his office.
She made her way through the lounge, navigating the couches easily in the dark, not stumbling or walking into a single piece of furniture, this was her home and she knew her way around it blind folded. That and Laser Tag was not played with the lights on, she either had to adapt to her surroundings or risk losing to him, which she never did.
She made it to the kitchen and just stood in the middle of it looking around. She had no idea what she wanted to eat, she had not thought it through that far, she just knew she needed something in her stomach and fast.
She opened the refridgerator, scanning the well-stocked shelves in search of something tasty. She spotted a jar of pickles wedged into the door of the fridge, in between the jam and the milk.
Pickles. That was what she really felt like.
She tried to pry the jar out of its snug little position, but it wouldn't budge. She sighed in frustration and decided on a different approach. She pulled out the jar of jam first, placing it on the counter, which then left enough room for her to easily remove the jar of pickles.
She hated pickles on a normal day, but now she was craving them like she never had before. She turned to put the pickles on the countertop, kicking the fridge shut with her foot, realising as she did that she had forgotten to put the jam back. I'll do it when I put the pickles in she thought to herself as she began turning the stiff lid.
It took her a while but eventually she got it off and managed to pull one of the mini cucumbers out. She ate the first one plain, using her tongue to swipe up the bit of juice that was dribbling down her chin.
When she pulled the second pickle out of its vinegary home, she paused before she took a bite. It was lacking something; there was a certain taste she was missing.
She gave the kitchen a quick once-over; her eyes finally coming to rest on the jar of jam in front of her. Prying the lid open, she dipped the tip of her pickle into the sweet strawberry goodness.
She took a bite. It was amazing! She had never tasted anything so good. She ate nearly half the jar of pickles in that same manner before she finally stopped, hearing an odd noise coming from upstairs.
It was too late for Alexis to be awake; she wondered what on earth was going on. She abandoned her late night snack and headed towards the staircase, going into detective mode as she went to investigate the noise.
She padded quietly up the stairs, her bare feet not making a sound on the steps as she advanced. As she reached the top she stopped.
She could hear crying, coming from the teenager's bedroom. She snapped out of detective mode, there was no immediate danger and she knew the teen would need her to play mother not detective.
She knew she was not the girl's real mother, but she had come to love her partner's daughter as her own, and despite their various fall outs, she had a feeling Alexis loved her too; that and he had told her so when they had been talking one night, her head on his chest, his arms around her, their usual position.
She quietly opened the door, peering into the room. It was mostly dark except for a strip of moonlight that fell across the bed. She could see the young Castle tossing and turning, an expression of pure misery etched in her features.
Her heart broke for Alexis, and she felt a rush of tears pricking at the back of her green eyes, she hated to see her kind-of-daughter looking so upset.
She pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped quietly inside, she could hear whimpering coming from the bed.
She closed the gap between them in seconds and knelt beside the bed. She was unsure of what to do, should she wake the girl and pull her out of the nightmare? Or should she just quietly comfort her and wait until the bad dream passed? She was spared the decision as Alexis began to moan in her sleep.
"Please don't go, please don't die we need you"
The redhead was crying, her breathing coming in short gasps, her hands clutching at something that was not in the real world.
The older woman felt her tears slip free at hearing those words.
The girl was dreaming about losing her father! The detective felt selfish now, she had had similar nightmares, she knew all to well how scary they were, she could not imagine facing them alone and thankfully she hadn't had to, she had the older Castle beside her every night. Alexis had not.
She reached out and smoothed the sleeping child's hair, making soft reassuring noises in an attempt to calm her.
She was in full-on mother mode, trying to mimic the comforting actions she remembered her own mother administering, all those many years ago.
Alexis quietened down slightly, though her body remained tense and her expression was pained.
The brunette continued softly stroking the younger girl's silky red hair and began quietly humming an old song her dad used to sing to her when she was upset or frightened.
"Please just don't die, I really need you right now"
This time the words were quieter, as if the dream was fading away. Some of the tension seemed to leave the girls body as she exhaled, sinking deeper into the mattress.
The detective wiped her face, trying to clear the tear marks off her cheeks. Since when had she been so emotional? And what was with her late night snacks and her bizarre cravings? Was it nearing the fourth of the month already?
She didn't get much more time to dwell on her possible PMS symptoms as the redhead spoke up again, the words struck the woman sitting on the floor beside the bed, leaving her completely overwhelmed and unable to think clearly.
"Just stay with us, we can't lose you now, I can't lose you now, don't die Kate!"
So just so you know, i already have the next few chapters typed up and ready to go, just gonna wait and see the response before i post, so please review!:)