A.N.: This is not my normal writing style at all, but I wanted to try something new. Feel free to tell me what you think. Oh, and Happy Birthday, Kupo-chan! I hope your birthday is better than you're expecting, and I hope this fic helps at least a little.
"I'm telling you, Urameshi, they were this big," Kuwabara murmured, gesturing in front of his chest while frantically trying to shush his teammate in the same motion. He didn't want anyone to know what he had seen, especially not Botan. He was sure she'd go straight to Yukina with stories of what a complete pig he was, and the thought terrified him. He shivered, and glanced from left to right, looking for blue cloth or flashes of wood. He could've sworn he saw them just about everywhere, though that had more to do with his paranoia about the whole thing than the crazy Botan clones idea he was nursing.
"So you saw some demon girl with huge tits, so what? You should've grabbed them or something."
Yuusuke reached into his pocket to fish for a cigarette. His hand brushed up against a little bull's-eye ball he'd found on a street corner that morning. He pulled it out instead of the cigarette packet he'd originally reached for, turning it over in his hand.
It was ratty and dirty, but he didn't mind that. He threw it up, caught it, and then tossed it against the wall, glad to find it bounced perfectly. He decided that there was something cool about playing up here; the ball could rebound and fall off the roof, and maybe hit Iwamoto on the head and kill him. Or, at least, that was the way Yuusuke's daydreams played out. He caught the ball easily, amazed that a kid's toy could be this fun, and threw it again. He could do this all day.
Kuwabara fidgeted, unwilling to let this slide so easily, but still scared of it somehow getting back to Yukina. "Keep it down, Urameshi!" Yuusuke snorted at that, but Kuwabara ignored him and continued. "You don't understand. They were giant. And she wasn't wearin' anything on top of 'em, either."
Yuusuke laughed and threw the ball again, listening to the swish and thump before he caught it with just a hint of casual grace. He threw it straight up this time, with a flick of the wrist and a flourish. He knew, though, that he couldn't do this all day; at least, he couldn't now that Kuwabara was here, and he wouldn't be able to relax and let his thoughts escape as usual. He threw the ball a final time and caught it, before stuffing it back in his pocket.
"Hey, Kuwabara. Let's go do something fun," he said, grinning at the thought that had galloped into his brain.
Kuwabara blinked. "We'd have to get past Takenaka's classroom to get outside. What d'you want to do, anyway?"
"I figure we can handle it. And then we'll find that big-breasted demon chick and tell her to put a shirt on." Kuwabara grinned back at him, glad that Yuusuke'd believed him, and finally forgetting about the whole Botan-going-to-Yukina thing.
"I think it was around Kubikukuri Hotel, right behind there. But we can't fight her, Urameshi." He went from happy to preachy in a minute flat, easily pissing Yuusuke off. Yuusuke wasn't about to pull his punches just because she was a woman; in that way, at least, he was more enlightened than his friend. "You can't fight girls."
"Fine. I'm only going to go to see her boobs, anyway." Yuusuke wasn't about to miss an opportunity for a free eyeful of girl parts, and he had already exonerated himself from any guilt. It wasn't like he was going to do anything bad—he wasn't even gonna comment on them or anything.
Kuwabara thought about it for a while, and quickly realized that, Yuusuke's inner monologue or not, this was also not on the up-and-up. "You can't objectify women, Urameshi." He admonished, tasting the word out, obviously trying to see if it worked in his mouth.
"Objectify?"
"It's something Shizuru's always saying. It means you can't just… uh… I think it has something to do with taking advantage of girls, or something."
"Well, I mean, I wouldn't do that, but if she's showing…"
Kuwabara cut him off. "And you shouldn't grab Keiko's breasts and shit, man." His tone was stern and reproving, and he went so far as to wag his finger at him.
"I'm just joking, and she doesn't mind. Plus, weren't you the one ogling that demon chick's tits yesterday, and then bragging about it?"
"Dress up the facts all you want, I'm not taking you there! And anyway, what about that girl—er, boy—Miyuki? You grabbed her things like it was nothing."
"But that was just…! Fine, I'll go by myself."
"No, you can't…"
"You'll go where?" Keiko, having perfected opening the roof door without making a sound, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to drop in on their little party. Both the boys got whiplash as they jerked to look at her, shocked out of their mind.
Her chocolate eyes, usually so warm and comfortable to Yuusuke, now flashed with annoyance and impotent rage. She fixed the two boys with a hawk-eye stare, while they gibbered, hemmed and hawed, shifting nervously and avoiding looking at her and each other, the picture of kids caught at mischief. She cleared her throat pointedly, more of a teacher than any of the professors in the school, in Yusuke's opinion.
Yuusuke gulped, wondering how much she'd heard, and then adopted his usual over-confident swagger. He wasn't about to let things slip out of his control. "We were gonna go hunt demons, that's all." He almost blushed—almost—but instead looked down and stuck his hands in his pockets. The ball, improperly put away, fell out and bounced to the side. Yuusuke and Kuwabara's guilty eyes followed it carefully. It hit the lip, and rolled back, ignorant of their pain.
"Oh, I heard. And does this demon know about your fascination with her breasts?"
Yuusuke really did blush, though he fancied that it was just a hint of color, and from rage instead of embarrassment. "I mean, it wasn't like that; right Kuwabara?" Kuwabara blushed even brighter than Yusuke was certainly not doing, a big, sad look on his angular face.
"Kuwabara's right, Yuusuke. You shouldn't treat girls like that. In the meantime, Mr. Takenaka says that he needs to have a talk to you. Come down with me.
"Aw, Keiko…"
"You too, Kuwabara."
Kuwabara nodded glumly, once again reduced to fidgeting. All three, Yuusuke and Keiko nursing a low, hurried argument, and Kuwabara trailing behind like a kicked dog, walked their way to Mr. Takenaka's classroom. And if Yuusuke looked back with regret at his plans with Kuwabara, and if Kuwabara looked up only half-way at the people in front of him, who was there to judge?
As they say, boys will be boys.
End.