This was my first (and still only) one-shot that I wrote back in '08, so please excuse the…non-describable weirdness of it all. I also might have missed some grammatical errors... Enjoy!

Alice's POV

As I walked down the staircase, smiling and waving, I knew that nothing could go wrong. I knew that Bella couldn't possibly ruin this wedding. Especially since it was hers. I sighed, satisfied with my fabulous work.

However, as I sat down in a white cushioned chair towards the back, I had a vision.

Bella was walking up the aisle, her hand covering her mouth. Her face, under all the make-up, was a slight shade of green. She got to Edward safely, but she wouldn't say, "I do." She could only give a rushed, breathy "I do" to Mr. Weber, indicating her approval. She then kept on trying to forewarn Edward that she was about to do…what?

Then, after Mr. Weber said, "You may now kiss the bride," Edward and Bella turned to each other, with Bella shaking her head gently. Edward leaned down slightly to kiss her, taking her hand off her mouth, right as Bella-

NO! This couldn't happen! Any day but her own wedding day! Was it possible to stop this from happening? I couldn't think of anything to stop this. Why the heck did Bella's body react this way to make-up? The best I could do was yell warnings at Edward in my mind. For the whole walk up the aisle Bella took. For the whole reciting of their vows. Could it have been more obvious?

And then, Bella shook her head as the dreaded words came to my ears.

"You may now kiss the bride."

I wanted to scream at Edward. Nonetheless, he seemed oblivious as to my warning thoughts.

So, this fate of theirs had to be inevitable, didn't it?

Edward's POV

No one could have been more beautiful than Bella as I saw her proceed down the stairs. Not even Rosalie.

I was barely aware of Alice, walking in front of her. Of course, she was beautiful in her own way. Alice sat down at her reserved chair in the audience. And I could not take any heed of her presence, nor anyone else's, as Bella looked up into my eyes.

Her hand came up to her mouth in what appeared to be astonishment. There was no doubt in my mind that every dream that I had dreamed when I had first met her was true-every time I had wondered if I had the same effect on her as I had on Jessica, and other humans of whom my charms took hold of. She had the same exact effect on me.

I found myself wondering why her face was turning a shade green. Maybe this wedding wasn't the best idea. No. That wasn't it. She couldn't be turning green at the thought of matrimony. Of course, I didn't know what ideas Renée had inserted into her head…

I was only more confused as she finally got to stand beside me, and Mr. Weber started to recite our vows. Her face just started becoming different, darker shades of green as time progressed, and she started shaking her head gently.

I barely took heed as Mr. Weber asked, "Edward Cullen, do you take Isabella Swan as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," I couldn't help but let my voice ring out victorious, triumphant. But then I resumed the puzzle that was her face.

"Isabella Swan, do you take Edward Cullen as your lawfully wedded husband?"

She stopped shaking her head, and hesitated for a moment before removing her hand to mumble, "I do." She quickly replaced her hand, eyes downcast.

What could possibly be wrong about this moment? Did I do something wrong? I thought that, despite everything, Bella would come to realize how important this day was to the both of us...

"You may now kiss the bride."

I turned toward Bella, who turned to me, in turn. She was gently shaking her head back and forth again.

I heard Alice's warning a moment too late, for I was already removing her hand from over her mouth.

Bella's POV

Oh no. Oh, no no no no no no NO!

This could not be happening. I could just see Alice's furious face. "Why did you ruin your own wedding? How could you?" Alice would say.

My thoughts trailed back to reality as my stomach lurched again, queasy. Why did my body have to react this way to make-up?

Everything seemed to speed up as my fate came inevitably closer. Suddenly, I could see it happening, the contents of my stomach purging out of my mouth as they fell upon my poor victim, who happened to be-

NO! I would never let my body do this to him! Never!

I was barely conscious of my surroundings as I concentrated on not letting anything out of my mouth. Charlie left me by Edward. Mr. Weber started reciting our vows. I could feel the tide coming.

"I do." I was only able to hear that voice through my concentration because it was his. I was disgusted with myself, by now. Why did I have to do this?

"Isabella Swan, do you take Edward Cullen as your lawfully wedded husband?"

I was shaking my head? Well, I stopped the shaking for a second as I took my hand away from my lips, and uttered a quick "I do".

"You may now kiss the bride."

Now, I was consciously shaking my head gently. I could feel the tide coming, over flowing -

Edward smiled at me - oh, how glorious was his smile! - and he took my hand off my mouth.

Big mistake.

The contents of my stomach, unsettled do to the excessive make-up all over my body, purged itself out of my mouth, and right into his waiting face.

The whole crowd gasped as Edward's face was covered in vomit. Edward's mouth had closed in time so that none of the filth could enter it, but he would have had to move with his vampirish speed in order to avoid the grotesque substance.

I gawked in horror at what I had done.

His face still looks perfect, nonetheless, was the only thought I could think of. I slapped myself across the face, causing me to also vomit on Mr. Weber's clothes. I slapped myself again, this time in the opposite direction, and ended up throwing up on none other than my unfortunate mother, who happened to be sitting in the front row. The people next to her got some of it splashed on them, too, including my stepfather, Phil.

I turned my horrified gaze back to Edward.

After a tense moment of awkward silence permeated the room, he wiped some of the vomit off himself, then joked, smiling, "It's a bit too late to put your hand back, isn't it?"

I heard booming laughter coming from an individual in the audience - none other than Emmett. I turned my face to look at him, still terrified.

Alice's fiery glare confirmed my worst fears. There was something more scary than the Volturi coming for me once all humans (besides me) were out of sight.