Dear God
Jack found himself thinking about the Doctor, as he had many times since meeting Angelo. The Doctor's life always seemed so exciting, the adventures to fun, the companions so loving. Of course Jack had always known it wasn't as simple as that, but he had never realised just how hard it was. The Doctor had spoken of the "Curse of the Time Lords', about having to continue when other just aged and died. Jack understood that well. And he hated it. He wanted nothing more than to be able to undo whatever it was that had caused him to become immortal, and just live a normal human life.
With Angelo.
Walking away from Angelo was even harder than being with him ever had been. Walking away from Angelo had caused the pain in Jack's heart which could only be compared to the pain he felt when he saw the TARDIS leaving without him. He loved Angelo, he really did. He'd never said it, but he always hoped Angelo had known, he hoped he had shown it. Angelo made him feel alive in a way the immortality often made him feel dead inside. Angelo had made him feel human. And for a while, Angelo had made him feel safe, like he had a home even. Having someone to sit and talk with about everything and nothing until the early hours of the morning, having someone to wake up to was one of the most wonderful feeling in the universe, Jack knew. Angelo had made him go back when before he only ever went forward.
Going back had been a mistake, Jack knew that now. He was glad for the lesson learnt because maybe then he'd be more sensible in future. Maybe in future he would keep it to just sex like he had screamed at Angelo that it was. Angelo had proved himself to be just like everyone else.
"Men like you, you kill me."
He had said that to Angelo just before leaving him and it was true. In both a literal and metaphorical sense it was so true. Jack hadn't been as scared as he was when Angelo allowed him to be killed over and over again for such a long time. He had never felt so helpless and… broken. What made it worse was understanding, Jack knew the hold religion could have over people and he understood that they thought they were doing the right thing. He understood how confused and lost Angelo was feeling. He understood it all and because of that he wasn't even angry. Which just hurt more.
He wasn't religious, he couldn't be. He knew of too many religion across the universe, and too much had happened in his life which had convinced him that there wasn't a god that now there was no way he ever could believe in one. But he didn't hate religion, he didn't have any problem with people's faith. Sometimes, though he wouldn't admit it, he was a little jealous of people who could believe in a greater power, because at least that had someone to hang on to. He didn't believe, but he understood how important it was to Angelo. He understood how it was the most important aspect of his life. And that's why, as he crossed the state border he found himself whispering.
"Dear God, if you are up there, hopefully you're listening right now. I'm not a hypocrite, so I don't normal cry, but right now it feels necessary. 'Cause I need a favour, and surely you can give me that. The only thing I ask of you is to look after him. Look after Angelo, make sure he's happy, make sure he's safe."
A/N: I'm not kidding after watching episode 7 of Miracle Day, I had my iPod on random and A7X's 'Dear God' came on and I burst into tears. I have too much of an emotional connection to Torchwood. So naturally I had to write this. R&R?