Mulder's addiction, a x-files fanfic

Title: Mulder's addiction
Category: X-Files
Summary: Mulder has an addiction, the temptation of which he is unable to resist
Rating: R
Disclaimer: CC owns Mulder, Scully, and Skinner. I am actually glad I don't own Mulder & Scully, because I have so many first times in my head, I wouldn't know which one to actually choose.

Mulder didn't know why he was doing it. But once he started, he couldn't stop himself. It pleasured him, no it was more, it thrilled him. And like a fix, it needed to be more each time. So he didn't hold back, but rather gave into his new addiction, increasing the dosage each time.

For so long she had held her composure, the stoic Scully, Scully who never exhibited any human emotion. But once, just once, he had managed to reach her, had punched through her shield as if it consisted of glass, glass that shattered around her, and for a moment he was afraid he was going to cut himself on her. Her eyes flared up with hatred, the like of which he had never seen before. And once he had tasted the sweetness of Scully showing emotion, any emotion, he was hooked. He didn't even remember what he had said, or what she had replied. Once he saw that look in her eyes he was mesmerized, unable to absorb anything but the look on her face. The puckered eyebrows, the narrowed eyes, the darkened pupils, the flaring nostrils, the snarl on her lips. She stormed out of the office, after one minute or ten, time seemed to stand still. She didn't return that day, but accepted his apology the next morning quietly and told him to forget about it.

But Mulder could not forget. On the contrary. Whenever he looked at Scully, he imagined all the emotions he might be capable of enticing, and more often than not she appeared in his dreams, not chaste anymore, like in all past nights, but feral and oh so beautiful, so excruciatingly beautiful.

At first Mulder was able to keep his desire of inciting her at bay. But with every day, especially every day spent with her, his longing to re-live the moment he had seen her unguarded increased. Until one day, when they were out of town on a case, and Scully had been cranky and bitchy all day, and Mulder just couldn't restrain himself any further. Her mood got darker and darker, and Mulder got higher and higher on her. First he only slightly spurred her on, subliminally enough for her not to be able to retort anything. But his tantalization got worse and worse, until he knew he had her on the brink, and he knew exactly how to push her over it. Mulder insinuated that Scully had behaved unprofessionally during todays conduct of work. He knew being professional was something that was extremely important to her, and he knew that his statement was unjust, but he also knew that this was the last straw it took, and so he delivered the blow full force. As if he had slapped her physically rather than mentally, she slightly stumbled back. For a moment he thought he had hurt rather than angered her, but then he saw the darkness creeping over her face, her eyes narrowing, and he knew he was about to receive his fix.

'How dare you?!'

'Come on, Scully, you can't deny that today you have behaved not as... rationally as usual.'

'I behaved perfectly appropriately.'

'I am not saying it was inappropriate, it just seemed a little... rookie-like?'

Scully's nose flared, and she took a step forward.

'Bastard. After 7 years together, I am certainly anything but a rookie, and I certainly don't behave like on. You know that damn well.'

She turned on her heels and left his room.

That was his first fix, and it was sweet, so bittersweet. That night he dreamed about her, and she was bolder in his dreams than she had been in the past weeks. Mulder awoke in the middle of the night, needing to release the tension that had built up during his dream, and it only took an instant, him still seeing her face in his mind's eye.

The second time he got his fix was on a Sunday while on the phone. He knew not seeing her face would make the whole experience much less enthralling, but he hoped not seeing her would at least let him concentrate on hearing the emotion in her voice. Plus, he just couldn't wait until Monday to get his fix and had no reason to go over to her place, so there was no other option. The conversation started out casually enough. It was not unusual for them to call each other on the weekend, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes just to hear each other's voice, though none of them would admit to that. After a while Mulder asked her about her weekend plans, and when she replied that she had no plans he somehow managed to hint that he hadn't expected her to be doing much anyway. He knew that Scully was afraid of appearing like a bore, especially to him.

'Well, what great things do you have planned this weekend, Mulder?'

'Actually, I have a date tonight, Scully.' This was not true, so not true. Mulder had not spoken to a woman in years. At least not in THAT way. But he knew that implying that he had a romantic life while she did not would upset her.

'Good for you. Anyone I know?'

'Oh no, it's this girl I met at a bar a few weeks back. We've had a few drinks together since. She is beautiful.' He added, just to set her off.

Scully took a deep breath, and Mulder knew he had hit home.

'She has the longest legs I have ever seen. And the fullest lips.'

'I am glad to hear so.' Scully retorted flatly.

A little further, just a little further...

'Yeah, Scully, I really think this could be it. I think I might be in love.'

Mulder heard Scully catch her breath.

'I have just never met anyone like her.'

'Well if she is so great, why are you talking to me and not sweeping her off her feet?'

'I just wanted to share my joy with a FRIEND...' Mulder replied in a faked offended voice.

'Well, now I know all about your new girlfriend. Enjoy your evening!' And Scully had hung up.

Envious Scully. Almost as good as angry Scully.

The third time he got to re-live the wrath of Scully was at work, during a meeting with Skinner. He knew this was dangerous, to bait her in front of others, especially in front of their boss, but he needed to increase his dosage, and this was the easiest way to do so. He had not planned on doing it until they entered Skinner's office. During their current case Scully had made a mistake. It could have happened to anyone, but she was the reason the suspect had gotten away, and they both knew it. Skinner had heard about the incident and had ordered them to his office to explain what had happened.

So often had they stood there, 90 percent of the time being reprimanded for something Mulder had done, and Scully always had his back. But entering Skinner's office, Mulder knew that he just had to use this chance, to get his next fix. So while Skinner stood there, grilling the two agents, Mulder did not only not have Scully's back, but he actually implied that Scully had behaved negligently.

Skinner released them, having ordered them to fix this mess. Scully stormed out of Skinner's office ahead of Mulder, but as soon as they were out of Skinner's earshot, she turned around to face him.

'What the hell, Mulder? I saved your ass a thousand times over in there, and you practically stab me in the back?'

'Come on, Scully, Skinner will get over it. It's not like this hasn't happened before.'

'To you, maybe, but not to me!' Scully practically yelled.

'Well, you can't always be Skinner's pet agent.'

'You bastard!'

Scully looked like she was about to slap him. But she didn't, at least not yet. Not until in Mulder's dream, where he caught her hand, and pulled her to him, kissing her despite her resistance until she succumbed. This time Mulder didn't even wake up.

The fourth time Mulder experienced feral Scully was on yet another case out of town. Scully had obviously still not completely forgiven him for not backing her up in Skinner's office, and was since showing him the cold shoulder. The case involved a female prime suspect, a VERY female suspect, who obviously had taken a liking to Mulder. She openly flirted with him, and, worst of all, Mulder feigned interest in her, too. Scully warned Mulder about the suspect's potential danger on more than one occasion. But Mulder turned a deaf ear to her warnings, until one evening when the female suspect asked Mulder to have a drink with her right in front of Scully. Scully frowned, but did not interfere when Mulder glanced at her before agreeing to the offer. Later that evening Mulder peaked into her room, letting her know that he was going out and would be back in an hour or so. Scully only snorted. He had two beers with the woman, but soon told her he was tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. She tried to stall him, then tried to make him let her go with him. But Mulder slowly but surely turned her advances down, until she angrily left the bar. Mulder stayed behind, and had a few more drinks. He had meant to keep it at another hour and two beers, but had started watching a Knicks game on the TV above the bar, and the hour turned into three, while the two beers turned into 5. A little after two he returned to his room, finding the connecting door wide open, Scully pacing her room.

'Mulder, where the hell have you been?'

'Out.'

'I know that Mulder. Why didn't you return earlier? Or pick up your phone?'

'Jealous, Scully?'

Scully's eyes briefly widened, before narrowing even further.

'I was worried about you! What were you thinking, going out with our prime suspect, turning off your phone and disappearing for five hours?! Can't you at least keep it in your pants while we are on a case?!'

Worried, jealous, angry Scully. It couldn't get any better than this.

'I know that you are not the most chaste specimen of a man, but as long as you are with me, please at least TRY not to hook up with just anything that has two legs and two boobs! It's nerve-stretching enough to see you constantly flirt with any woman that crosses your path, without having to worry about you because you are about to climb into bed with the prime suspect of a case.' She practically spit out the last words.

This was good. So good.

'I am sorry you don't approve of my lifestyle, Scully, but it is none of your business what I do after work.'

'If that's the case please feel free to go fuck your little tramp, but don't expect me to come to your rescue if things turn sour.' And with that she slammed the door.

This time Mulder took care of business before falling asleep, he had never been that turned on, and having fuming Scully just on the other side of a thin connecting door provoked him even more. It took him no longer than 30 seconds, before he fell into a deep slumber.

After that things between them weren't the same anymore. Scully tried to avoid any conversation where possible, and if she couldn't avoid it she was curt to a point of being rude. Mulder almost regretted having put them in this situation, but an addiction is an addiction, and he couldn't see how he could have avoided coming to this point. Scully always left right on time, nowadays, and he didn't hear or see any of her all weekend. This went on for two weeks, and Scully seemed to get angrier and angrier at Mulder, rather than being forgiving and forgetting. Three weeks after his last fix Scully was once again fuming behind her computer. Mulder knew that this was it. This was going to be the moment where he was going to get his next and last fix. Either things were about to turn very, very hot, or go very, very sour, to the point where he might loose Scully for good. But he just could not restrain himself. Like a junkie he knew what he was doing was dangerous and bad, but no reasoning could beat the longing surging through his body.

Scully had supposedly gone on a date with another agent that weekend, either to prove to herself that she still had what it took, or to punish Mulder, Mulder assumed. Mulder of course hadn't heard anything about the date. It's not like the other agents tended to seek him out to share personal experiences. That didn't stop him from trying to push the right triggers, though.

'So, Scully, I heard you had a hot date this weekend.'

'And where did you hear that? Not that it is any of your business.'

'In the coffee room. The guys mentioned that you let agent Willis have quite the time of his life. I didn't know you gave it away that freely.'

'How... how dare you, Mulder!' Scully stepped closer, a snarl spreading on her lips.

'I thought you had more class, is all I'm saying, Scully.'

Scully first turned white, then red.

'You asshole, how dare you judge me, ESPECIALLY on this subject. I am not the one who sticks it wherever they let him.'

Scully was now standing close to him, very close, and Mulder could feel her hot breath on his chest. She stared directly into his eyes, and Mulder almost got lost in those huge, dilated pupils.

'It's just that if I'd known it was that easy to get into your pants, I might myself have given it a try years ago.'

With that he grabbed her wrists and pulled her even closer to him, crushing her hands against his chest.

'Fuck you! Fuck you, Mulder!' Scully spit in his face.

'I'd rather it be YOU who fucks ME.' Mulder replied and pressed his lips on hers.

Scully gasped, and Mulder shoved his tongue between her teeth. But in an instant Scully had regained her composure and shoved Mulder hard against his desk. Mulder was quick, though, and with one swift movement had their positions reversed, Scully pressed against his desk, trying to fight him off, while he grabbed her and kissed her so hard he was afraid she might shatter.

When he finally had to come up for air, Scully slapped him hard across his left cheek.

'What the fuck, Mulder? How dare you kiss me?!'

'I know you want it, Scully. I know you want ME. I know you NEED me.' And then, almost in a whisper 'I know I need YOU.'

The look in Mulder's eyes was all of a sudden so vulnerable, it almost broke Scully's heart, despite the anger that still had a tight grip on it.

'Damn it, Mulder!'

And with that Mulder's hands were all over Scully. Frantically tearing at any cloth he could get his hands on. And only seconds later Scully's hands were all over Mulder. The two desperately undressed each other, stepping out of clothes when needed, until Mulder was only wearing his boxer-shorts, and Scully was standing in only her underwear and heels before him. Only then did they stop and look into each other's eyes.

Mulder saw lust, raw lust, emanating from Scully's eyes. He knew he had broken through to her, had crashed through her defenses, until he had reached her bare, unguarded soul. The soul where she hid her feelings from him, the feelings she had for him. And in that moment she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Like having an epiphany he was certain that no God had created her, because not even God could contrive something so breathtakingly beautiful. She was so otherworldly he stumbled back a step, before he composed himself, and purposefully stepped back in to pull her into a deep, desperate kiss.

Scully moaned, she fucking moaned, and Mulder thought he might die this instant. But it would be a death worth accepting, because surely he had seen everything there was to see on this world. He would actually welcome this death, because what else was there to live for?

But then Scully pressed her body against his, and Mulder's resolution to die was gone in an instant. He needed more, so much more. Mulder pulled back.

'Scully, I need you! I so terribly fu-cking need you! If you are going to stop me, do so now.'

Scully looked at the door and then back at Mulder. Mulder was sure she was about to disappear through that door, and wished he had died a moment ago after all. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see her leave.

But then Scully's hands were all over him again, and when he opened his eyes, Scully was standing naked except for her heels before him, slowly sliding down his body, pulling his boxer-shorts with her. Transfixed Mulder stepped out of his last garment but didn't dare yet touch Scully, being sure he would not be able to stop himself from devouring her the instant he felt her bare skin beneath his fingers. Scully shoved him back, and her aiming was good, because Mulder fell backwards into her chair. She climbed on top of him, one knee on each side of him, and Mulder could not believe his eyes.

'Pinch me, Scully!'

A small grin spread across her lips.

'I'd rather do this.' And with that she slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, slid her hand down his hard cock.

'Fuck, Scully!'

Scully's grin widened further.

'Don't mind if I do.' And with that she placed herself over him, and in one slow, oh so slow, movement lowered herself onto him. She had both hands flat against his chest, and after a small pause started to rhythmically draw small circles with her hip. Mulder was afraid he might come right then and there, but luckily all the practice made him able to hold on a little longer.

He grabbed the hair at the back of Scully's head and pulled her into a burning kiss. When they parted he surprised her by grabbing her ass and lifting her up, which made a small gasp escaped from her lips. He set her on his table, his cock still buried deeply within her.

'Scully, do you have any idea what you do to me? Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?'

Scully bit her lower lip, and Mulder knew he had to start moving, or he might come here and now and, most dreadfully, without her. He moved slowly, knowing that too much friction would send him over the brink immediately. After a few thrusts his thumb searched for her clit and found Scully wet and ready. He gave it a quick, teasing brush, and this time it was Scully's turn to curse.

'Holy fuck, Mulder!'

Her head fell back, and Mulder grabbed her breast with his still free hand, trying to touch as much of her as possible. He thrust into her, counting each thrust, memorizing each detail, her slightly parted lips, her hair spilling over her shoulders like a veil, her nipples pink and erect, a bead of sweat running down her cleavage, the scar from when she got shot in her belly slightly lighter than the surrounding skin, her muscular legs pinching his hips, and her heals digging into his ass.

'Look at me, Scully!' Mulder pleaded. And when she lazily opened her eyes he saw that she was close, so fucking close, and Mulder couldn't stop himself from exclaiming 'Oh God, Scully...' Maybe there was a God after all. Maybe she had been right all along.

In that instant Scully bit down hard on her lower lip, so hard Mulder was afraid she might have drawn blood, and Mulder lost it, completely lost it. He thrust into her once, twice, three times, and as a small gasp escaped Scully's lip Mulder fell. He momentarily felt like was about to drown, losing his orientation, afraid he might not be able to find his way back, but then he heard Scully moan 'Oh God, Mulderrrrrrrr' and shivering beneath him, he concentrated on her voice and re-surfaced.

Muder rested his head against Scully, before pulling back.

Scully looked at him quizzically, a smile on her lips, and Mulder felt such love for her, such unbearable love, that he was hardly able to speak.

'I am sorry I broke you so you would let me in.'

'So this is what all this was about?'

Mulder only nodded. He looked at her, and she knew he asked her for forgiveness without him having to speak the words.

'I forgive you, Mulder, but first I am going to make you pay.'

Mulder swallowed hard.

'Don't worry, I think you might actually enjoy your punishment.' And with that she picked up her clothes, slowly donned them, and was gone.