A/N: Hiya guise! I know that I need to be updating my stories, but I was listening to Forever and Always by Parachute and I just had to write this! It is a wonderful song, and if you definitely want to cry while reading this, then listen to it! ahhahaXD Anyways, I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I own nodda, nothing!
I tapped my foot against the pavement, getting slightly irritated that James wasn't here yet. It was our five year anniversery and he was fifteen minutes late. Looking down the road I could see that the asphallt was icy under the glow of the street lamps, and looking towards the sky, it looked like snow was about to drop down at any moment. Pulling out my phone I quickly sent James a text, asking him where he was. Keeping my phone in my pocket I waited for him to text back quickly and leaned forward on my toes, hoping that it would help me see if James got here sooner.
A car horn, the screatching sound of metal, and a deafening scream sent me falling backwards, but I caught myself before completely falling to the ground. My heart hammered in my chest and I automatically started sprinting towards where the sound came from. All I could hear was the pounding of my feet on the pavement as I pushed myself harder and harder, praying that it was what I thought it was.
Sliding around the corner of the street, my legs wabbled beneath me. Even in the almost pitch black, I could make out the sillowet of a Toyota Tacoma and my heart jumped into my throat as I sprented over to James' truck, flipped over on its side. Hopping up onto the top of the truck, I quickly tried to open the door, and as I pulled it open I found James dangling unconscious in his seat. I started shaking him, trying to get him to wake up.
"James! James! Come on, wake up!" he didn't respond, and my heart felt like it had stopped.
Carefully sliding down by James' lax body, I unhooked his seat belt and tried pulled him up through the door, but his leg was stuck under the steering wheel. After a little manouvering, I got his leg to slide out and I pulled him through the door, laying him down on the side of the truck. I could see his chest moving up and down, but barely. Tears blurred my vision, but I quickly wiped them away, pulling out my phone and dialing 911. After giving them the location and as the opporater asked me to stay on the phone with her until the ambulance arived, I pulled James close to me.
He looked so broken. Blood cover his lips and a cut on his forehead and his leg appeared to be broken by the way it was laying across the silver extirior of the crushed truck. There was so much blood. Looking over my shoulder, I saw the van that hit James' truck; it was barely recognizable. The front part of it was completely pushed in as it sat upside down on the asphalt. I lifted James off of me to go see if the occupant was ok, but as I shifted him, he started to cough and sputter. His hazel eyes started to flutter open and I pulled him back towards me.
"James! James, stay with me!"
"K-Kendall... w-wha-"
"Shhh... It's going to be ok. I just need you to stay awake, ok?" pushing his hair from his forehead, I noticed the extent of the gash, and it terrified me as it continued through his hair line.
"It h-hurts... e-everyth-thing..."
"I know, I know. The ambulance is on its way, just stay with me."
He gave a small nod and kept his eyes locked with mine. I could see he was scared, but he just kept his focus on my eyes, and I kept mine on his until I heard the sirens and saw red and white lights fill the street. Before I knew it, EMTs were hopping onto the truck and taking James from my hands, putting him on a stretcher. He kept eye contact with me the whole time, never moving his eyes from mine, and after I snapped out of it, I was following the stretcher he was on into the back of the ambulance. As we drove away, I saw the other EMTs pulling a body from the van that hit James, and putting it in a bodybag. My heart started beating faster as I wondered if they had any family that was sitting at a dinner table, waiting for them to come home.
The ride to the hospital felt hours long even though it was only a couple of minutes. I got shuffled from the back of the ambulance into a small waiting room outside of one of the O.R. rooms. I called both James' parents and my mom, telling them to get to the hospital as fast as they could, and that they did. Mrs. Brooke was the first person to start bombarding me with questions.
"Kendall! What happend? Where is James? Where is my baby?" mascara was streaked across her high cheek bones and her eyes were bloodshot.
"I-I don't know. He was coming to pick me up...and there was a loud crash...a scream...h-his scream..." I couldn't say anything else as my voice cracked and I threw a hand over my mouth, keeping in the sob that tried to escape.
"Kendall, where is he now?"
"In s-surgery. Th-they whisked him away right as w-we got here and they threw me in this r-room."
Mrs. Brooke fell into one of the plastic chairs, burying her face into her hands, as her husband wrapped an arm around her shaking frame. My mom walked over to me and pulled me into a hug that I collapsed into. I felt like I was six again when my dad left us, but this time instead of having my father just up and leave, my boyfriend was fighting for his life in an O.R. room.
"Sweety, we need to get this blood off of you."
I looked down to see what my mom was talking about, and I noticed for the first time that my chest, arms, and hands were covered in James' blood. The red liquid had dried and left my skin a rusty red color, and my stomache flipped. Asking a blonde nurse where the nearest restroom was she pointed me to a door that was only a few doors away from the waiting room. Not wanting to miss James coming out, I quickly dashed into the restroom and found myself confronted with a large mirror.
The boy standing across from me was almost unrecognizable. His blonde hair had streaks of red in it, his arms and his blue flannel shirt were also caked with blood, as his green eyes were puffy and rimmed red. I quickly started pulling paper towles from the despencer and started throwing them under the water that flowed from the sink. Agressively scrubbing at my skin, it felt like I couldn't get his blood off of me, even though my arms were returning to their normal color. It was like his blood has soaked itself into my skin. I couldn't get rid of it. Finally giving up, I made my way back to the waiting room, hoping that they would have some kind of news, but there was none.
Pacing back and forth, it felt like I was going to ware a whole into the floor. My mom tried to get me to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat, but I just couldn't. How could I even think about eating while my boyfriend was being cut open? After a few other suggestions, trying to get me out of the waiting room, my mom finally gave up and sat down in the chair beside James' mom and tried to console her.
As the seconds ticked by on the clock hanging on the wall, I felt my chest tighten with each tick. The more time he spent in that room, it ment the more damage they were having to fix. My mind kept visualizing the gash on his forehead. It was so big, and he lost a lot of blood. His leg was mangled by getting caught by the steering wheel. There was so much blood.
A doctor finally came through the metal doors at the end of the room and motioned for us to follow him. The four of us practically were running over the doctor's heels as he was spouting off medical terms that I had no clue what they meant. Stopping at the end of the hall, he moved us in front of a room that had a large glass window looking into it. My breath caught in my throat. I looked over James' body laying on the large hospital bed and tears pricked at my eye. He was all bandaged up and there were visible bruises, but the machine beside him with the rising and falling green line ment that he was alive. The man in blue scrubs started to rattle off more, and I actually tried to listen, only catching ever few words.
Losted a lot of blood... hemeraged... flatline... revived... he's in stable condition...
That last little bit I heard sent my heart soaring. He was stable. That means he's going to be ok, right? I mean, he has to be. He's going to be ok. He's going to live.
"Can we go in?" Mrs. Brooke piped up, and I wondered the same thing.
"Yes, but only one at a time."
Mrs. Brooke quickly made her way into the room as the rest of us stood on the other side of the glass, looking in. Clutching her son's hand tightly, she spoke to him, sobs stopping her every now and then, but we couldn't hear what she was saying. I know that she is his mother, but after fifteen minutes of her being in there I started getting antsy. I didn't want to barge in there and be like I'm his boyfriend and I demand that I get to see him more than you do! but I just wanted to touch him, to know that he really is alive and that this isn't a dream. But I stayed where I was, giving Mrs. Brooke her time, and eventually she finally emerged, motioning for me to go in.
Taking long strides, I quickly made it to the hospital bed where James laid peacefully. A large white bandage was wrapped around his head and his leg was elevated in a cast that went from his thigh to his foot. He looked so little in the large white bed and I just wanted to wrapped him up in my arms and protect him from all of this. I want to be able to fix him.
Lightly placing my hand under his, I intertwined our fingers but my lip quivered when his hand didn't sqweeze my in responce. Sitting down in the chair beside the bed, I laid my head down on the edge of the matress and let the tears fall. My body shook violently as I held on tighter to the tan hand.
I'm not the holiest person in the world, I don't even know what I believe, but I just started praying to anyone that would listen. I prayed so hard it felt like my brain was going to implode on itself, but it felt like I wasn't getting anywhere because James wasn't popping up saying that he was feeling 100% better. I just need him to be better. I need him to wake up. I need a miracle.
His hand twitched against mine and my heart stopped beating for a milisecond before I was hovering over him. I wasn't sure if he really moved his hand or if I just hallusinated it, so I gave his hand another light sqweeze, and this time he definitely sqweezed back. His eyes fluttered open and I looked over my shoulder to meet the shock gazes of Mrs. Brooke, Mr. John, and my mom. Waving towards my mom she quickly disappeared from view and came back with the doctor, practically shoving him through the door. By this time James' eyes were completely opened and he was looking around him, a confused look eched across his face. The doctor pulled out a small flash light and pulled open each of James' eyelids, moving the light from left to right in front of them.
"I'm Dr. Turner. Can you tell me what your name is?"
"J-James... James Isaac Diamond."
"Good. Can you tell me your birthday and your age?" the doctor quit flashing the light around in James' eyes, and he rolled them around in his head before replying to the next question.
"December twentieth, nineteen-eighty-eight. And twenty-three."
"Do you remember anything before you got here?"
"Umm... I was going to pick up Kendall... my phone viberated and I picked it up... and then I was laying in Kendall's arms and everything hurt. That's the last thing I remember."
His phone viberated.
I shook my head and started backing away from the bed. I was the reason the James got in the wreck. I am the reason that he is here. If I wouldn't have sent that message, if I would have just waited five more seconds, then he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't have almost died.
"What's wrong Kendall?"
"I was... I-I sent you a text wondering where you were. I'm the reason why this happend to you. I'm s-so sorry James." I walked back over to the bed, grabbed his hand in mine, and rested my head ontop of them, tears falling freely down my face.
"It's ok Kendy. It's ok."
"No it's not James. It's my fault that this happend."
"Let's not dwell on it now. We can talk about it later, ok?"
I looked up, and he was smiling the biggest smile at me, and I nodded my head in agreence.
"It looks like everything is good here. I'll go and talk to your parents and leave you two to talk." Dr. Turner bowed his head and then made his way out the door and over to James' parents.
"I love you James. I love you so much." I leaned down and gave him a light kiss, not wanting to hurt him or anything.
"I love you too Kendall."
"Don't ever scare me like that again. I thought I had lost you."
"You could never lose me." He gave me another smile and I melted into the chair beside the bed.
"After we get you out of here, we are going to get our life together started. I know I said that I wanted to wait for marrige, but after tonight I'm not taking any chances. You can have the wedding of your dreams. We can get that big house you want with the large porch that we can watch our little boy and girl play in the backyard off of. And when we get older we can get rocking chairs and sit outside in them, sipping lemonade all day."
"Sounds perfect..." he said dreamily.
"I love you Jamie."
"I love you too Kendy. Forever and always." He craned his neck over, signalling that he wanted another kiss and I leand up to give it to him.
Leaning back, something happend. James' body started to convulse and his eyes started rolling into the back of his head. The machines that he was hooked up to started going crazy, and in less than a second, two doctors and three nurses ran into the room and started shouting words that I didn't understand. Getting pushed away from James, I quickly started to try and fight my way back to him, but nobody was budging.
"What's going on? What's happening to him!" a red-headed nurse ran over to me and started shooing me towards the door.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"No! No! I can't leave him!"
"Sir, if you don't leave willingly, I will have to call security."
I eventually got pushed out of the room, and somehow I ended up in my mom's arms, tears pouring out of my eyes. I choked on sob after sob as I watched them work on James. The green line on the screen got really fast, and then it flatlined. My heart stopped with his. They pulled out the paddles and started trying to revive him. Bodies moved around quickly and you could barely see what was going on, but you could faintly still hear the monitor sqweeling out the monotone beep. Each time that his body lifted with the electric shocks to his heart, I counted and died a little inside each time that the beeping didn't change. It was like time stopped.
One.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Beeeeep.
Two.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Beeeeep.
Three.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Beeeeep.
Four.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Beeeeep.
Five.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Beeeeep.
The doctor looked up at the clock hanging on the wall and mubled something to one of the nurses. One by one, the nurses and doctors started taking off their face masks and gloves, looking defeated. One of the nurses started to unhook all of the machines, and the incesent beeping stopped all together.
Mrs. Brooke let out a wail and it brought me back to the present. My legs wabbled beneath me and I fell into the glass window, looking in on a scene that was only supposed to be on TV. This wasn't supposed to be real life.
But, it was my life.
As the doctors and nurses filed out, I quickly sprinted into the room and threw myself ontop of James, shaking him. He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't.
"James! Wake up! You have to open your eyes! We have to get married, and get that beautiful house, and adopt the little b-boy and g-girl that you w-want. W-we have to s-start our l-lives together. You h-have to wake up! Get up J-James... w-wake up... p-please J-Jamie..."
I desolved into tears. Collapsing on to the bed, I curled myself up beside James' body and cried into his chest. I tried to pull him as close to myself as I could, but it felt like he was never close enough. He was gone. James' mom, dad, and my mom all tried to get me to leave the room, to leave James, but I wouldn't let them get near me. I couldn't leave him. I just couldn't. But eventually I fell asleep and they used the moment.
I woke up and was sitting in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting room. I quickly jumped up and started looking for James, but my mom rested a hand on my shoulder and sat me back down in the chair.
"Kendall, they gave James' mom his belongings that were on him when they brought him into the hospital, and well... here."
She handed me a small black boxs and a lump formed in my throat. It couldn't be. James knew I didn't want to get married, and I had only changed my mind after the wreck. He couldn't have been...
I opened the box, and sitting inside was a black ring. Lifting it out of the box with shaky hands, I looked at it closer, and I gasped, throwing my hand over my mouth, holding back the tears that started to well up in my eyes. On the inside of the ring, in silver letters read: Forever and Always. My chest started to tighten, and my breathing came too quickly, but after a few moments of taking it in, I calmed down.
Picking up the ring and sliding it on to my left hand, it felt like it was ment to be there; like it had always been there.
The night finally set in on my body, and it felt like I was being crushed by a ten-ton brick. After talking to James' mom and dad, and saying my final goodbye, my mom weakly helped me to the car. As she drove, I propped my head against the window, and looking up at the sky; all of the snow clouds had disappeared. The sky was aluminated by the moon's glow and the stars twinkled brightly.
James is here. It doesn't matter that it's not physically, it just matters that he is.
It's going to be a long road, but James will be there with me every step of the way. He is going to be my gaurdian angel, and he will be watching over me.
Forever and Always.
A/N: Sooooo sad, I KNOW!:'( I am crying as I type! I should have the next chapter of Sunrise Through Your Eyes by Monday, so be on the look out people! And, if you haven't read it yet, then go do it now!
Review?