What were we doing here? The three of us sat at a table in the Great Hall. I felt the hard eyes of passing students, teachers and parents. I knew why Lucius insisted we stayed. If we ran it would prove we had something to run from. If we stayed, we could swear that we fought valiantly alongside the others here. This was a lie. Did I care? No. it was just one more lie added to the fantastical story that was our past. My back stayed rigidly upright and my chin tilted in the same fashion. I would not suffer the ridicule others were trying to impose upon me and my family. Because, that is what I did. I had worked so long to put the wall between me and them, it was natural.

Across the table Draco kept glancing up at his father looking nervous. He mentioned a boy he knew dying tonight, but he played it off that he could not care less for someone he referred to as a bodyguard. I knew it was a lie. He had to lie. Lucius would take no other answer. Lucius would not accept emotion.

I would not think back on the events of the night like most did. Those hours held nothing for me, only anger. For years we devoted everything to the same imperfect master. We regarded him as a god. I refused to look back because I refused to feel the anger. Lucius would not accept the emotion that was masked by the anger: regret.

I knew what he thought. He believed all this waste was for cause. Our master was gone after years of our servitude. Lucius still believed we benefited. Stupid, haughty Lucius could not believe we were wrong. He was never wrong. That was a lie. But I went along with it because I had no other choice.

I have everything my mother could have wanted for me, on the exterior. A grand home, a wealthy husband, a good son. I loved my life. That was also a lie. I just pretended. I was young and thoughtless and saw only his wealth, like any mindless girl would. He was charming then and maybe was still slightly human. He used to take off the mask for me. Now there was no mask. It has been soaked up by his skin until he was the mask. He couldn't take it off. Not even for me.

I could probably have left this at any point. I could have taken Draco and we could go be alone. I could take my baby somewhere safe. I wish this were not a lie as well. I was stuck, he was even more. Now that he was gone, there might have been a chance but we could not leave Lucius. Even if he could not find us, I needed him. I needed the money. I needed his protection. I only wished he would not take advantage of that. Where would I go? I had nowhere. I killed my own brother-in-law. I saw Andromeda once. She glanced my way and kept going. I did not exist to her as anything more than a creature of hell.

I did not care that the only friend I ever had hated me; that my own flesh and blood wished me dead. I did not care that my other half had been the one to convince me to join the Dark Lord after she went mad. I did not miss us being young children who knew nothing of evil. All these were lies.

I wished that there was truth, any remaining shred at hope of redemption. It was a destructive hope. My future was lost. There was nothing left for me. All except one thing. I looked over at my child again. I had already given up on my own life. He was my life now. The only time I considered joining battle this night was to save my baby. After all the lies, I had found one truth: it killed me too see how Draco became more like his parents every day. I hated to see how we had poisoned him. Here was the truth, and I swore on my last thread of humanity, I would never let Draco do what I had done. Those things I cannot believe I have done.