Title : Spam – The Nectar of the Gods
Fandom : Hawai'i 5-0
Characters : Kamekono (mentions of Steve and Danny)
Rating : PG-13
Written for the fic_promptly prompt : Author's choice, author's choice, Spam
Disclaimer : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spam – The Nectar of the Gods
Kamekona could write a whole book of recipes for Spam and he really doesn't know what Steve's problem with it is. It's a failing in the man and Steve doesn't know what he's missing. Kamekona thinks that as his friend, it's his responsibility to fix that, but he's going to have to be subtle. Discreet even.
He starts to write a list of all the different things he could make, weighing up the pros and cons of each possibility. It's no good starting with something Steve already knows has Spam in it. He figures it's also no good starting with something where the Spam is going to be immediately obvious as soon as Steve looks at it.
So he's going for the element of surprise. Disguised Spam . . .
He needs to flavor it, co-erce it into tasting like something more familiar. He's got the added problem that Steve is too much of a health freak. It can't be good for a man to not get a decent supply of fat and cholesterol in his system, particularly with all the energy he expends running round the island chasing bad guys.
Then again, Kamekona doesn't want to overload Steve's system with the nectar of the gods when he isn't used to it. He reluctantly buys a can of Spam lite by way of compromise, hoping that nobody notices as he commits this grave sin of sacrilege.
He's decided on Spam Musubi. Steve eats sushi but he's going to have to be more subtle than the usual musubi. He dices the Spam slices up as small as he can and then mixes them in with the rice, before wrapping it up in the nori seaweed.
He's feeling pretty pleased with himself as he starts to pack it into a box to take to Steve at the beach. He stops on the way to pick up malasadas for Danny, not prepared to start on Danny's eating issues. Danny's a whole other issue that he's not ready to tackle yet. Seriously the man won't even look at a pineapple, so Steve is good practise for how he's going to overcome that problem.
Kamekona owes it to the two of them to educate them in the true ways of Hawai'i. What kind of friend would he be if he didn't?