JJ felt a tear roll down her left cheek. The first one. She knew there were more to come. She felt a sharp stinging in her left ring finger. She looked down and saw a little bubble of blood. She had pricked herself with the white rose. She winced, but moved the rose so as not to get any blood on it.
She hated going to funerals. They made her sad and they made her cry. She knew that was normal, but she hated feeling that way. Especially since the first funeral she ever went to was her sister's. Her own sisters.
She was only 11. It was the first person in her family to pass away. She remembered her parents screaming, and she remembered riding in an ambulance. She remember a very white hospital, and a plump nurse with long blond hair coming into the waiting room. The nurse said nothing, merely shaking her head and saying, "I'm so, so sorry, Mrs. Jareau." JJ remembered crying and crying, and gripping the necklace her sister had given to her. She had no idea that it was her sister's way of saying goodbye.
She remembered going to the cemetery. She remembered seeing all of the headstones and feeling sorry for all the families that had been there before. She remembered seeing the casket and realizing that her sister's body was inside. She remembered it being lowered into the ground, and crying, and crying, and crying.
And here she was, many years later. She had grown as a person. She still remembered her sister, but it didn't hurt to look at pictures. Every once in a while when someone mentioned suicide, she got defensive, but for the most part she was normal. Except when she was at funerals.
She had been to other funerals over the years. Some for family, some for friends, some for distant relations, some for fellow agents. But never to a funeral for a murder victim. Never to a funeral for the wife of a surrogate big brother. Never to the funeral of someone brutally killed by The Reaper.
It never got easy for her to see caskets. It was as if she had x-ray vision. And it was as if she could see right through the casket to see the body. It made her uncomfortable knowing that Haley was inside. And with her was being buried a wife, a mother, a beautiful person.
She walked forward to place her white rose on top of the casket. Her hands were shaking. She raised her hand to put the rose down, and looked up at the sky. She saw a solitary bird fly swiftly through the sky. She put the rose down, and saw a tear fall onto the casket. She walked back, and saw her family, her BAU family, with tears in their eyes. Never again, she hoped, would they have to gather like this. Not if she had anything to do with it.