Wrote this as for a friend to read in Algebra, but it came out pretty decent, so I'm posting it.
Enjoy.
"Nah its weird, he's even whiter than that." He joked, making the crowd erupt in laughter. I didn't think it was too funny, I couldn't help it if I was pale with red hair. Wait, please god, just don't joke with the hair.
"He's like a can of mayonnaise with a ketchup haircut." More laughter, with my WWE championship I should add. After I aimlessly yelled, nothing. No one seemed to care. And you know what?
I got tired of it.
Do you know how embarrassing it is to be in the mall with your girlfriend and have some punk, snot-nosed brat call you random jokes that include condiments?
"Haha, Cena called you mayonnaise!"
"Ketchup head!"
They'd laugh on and on. And then they follow me for hours. Where the hell are these children parents!? I have a life too, and it does not include taking non-funny jokes from your child. I had half a mind to just pump kick this one kick to kingdom come. Followed me for two hours in the airport. Two hours! He even had the audacity to try and get on my airplane, just to mock me. I can't say anything back to them.
"It's not good for the business. Besides, they're just kidding." Vince would always say.
I'm only human. I have feelings too. And right now, they're hurt. There, I said. Sheamus, the big pale freak with the ketchup haircut has a soft side, which is almost constantly battered and attacked on a daily basis now thanks to one man.
"Trust me, they'll get over it. Orton went through it too, as well as Swagger. It just….happens." He'd try to explain. No, not this time. I'll be damned if I'd be mocked any longer by children that needed to be disciplined, or a teenager with now life what so ever. I wrapped my wrists with black tape, put on my knee pads and headed out to the ring. As my music it, the expected boos were heard, but wait, I could still here them.
"You big ketchup haired sissy!"
"You look like a ghost!"
"You leave a glare on the camera!"
Are you serious? Even the adults at these shows were joining in on the show. Orton's music, and he stalked down the ramp as the crowd cheered.
Normal POV
Sheamus caught the upper hand in the match early on, catching him with a hard clothesline. He was in no mood to be out here long, and wanted this match as quick as humanly possible. Orton was no pushover though, and would probably as tough as Cena to keep down for the three count. Sheamus picked up Orton and hit a stern backdrop, followed by a swift kick to the head.
"1..2.."
Orton jumped up at the last moment, rolling out of the ring for a moment. As he caught his breath, Cena strolled out to the ring with a horribly happy grin on his face. He had his arms behind his back, hiding something. Sheamus rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in frustration. The crowd roared in laughter, seeing what he had behind his back.
"You believe this King?"
"Yeah, it's a picture of Sheamus Cole!"
"I think Cena may have pushed him too far, he looks like he ready to explode."
It was a can of mayonnaise, with Sheamus's picture across the front. It read 'Irish mayonnaise' next to his picture. Sheamus shook his head, yelling as the camera zoomed in on it, allowing him to see it on the titantron. He had a ketchup bottle in the other hand, only Sheamus's haircut on the cover. Sheamus looked around the ring at the faces laughing at him, red in the face from all of the anger that was built up. Orton opted to stay out of the ring, and even the ref had stopped his count and rolled out of the ring. Then a very unexpected turn of events happened.
"Is…Is he…"
"I don't believe it King, I'm just as dumbfounded as you are."
Sheamus fell to his knees in tears, crying. The laughter soon turned to silence, the odd shriek of his muffled voice filling the arena. He fell to the mat, flailing around like a small child. Small snickers were heard, but the audience, or Orton, or Cena, hell, the ref didn't see this coming. His bawling was cut off by a boot to the head from Orton, who had enough of watching a grown man cry. He couldn't help but laugh after the three count, bending over from the laughter. The crowd followed, laughing harder than ever as he rolled out of the ring. Cena was still on the stage, rolling on his back in laughter. Sheamus slowly crawled out of the ring as he whimpered, wiping the tears away. He gave a last look at the audience before hanging his head in shame, dragging his feet along as he returned to the backstage area. He knew he'd never hear the end of this one.
END.
Ehh, wasn't as funny the second time writing it, but still good for a good chuckle. Like? Dislike? Thoughts are appreciated.