Lee lay in bed, one arm wrapped around Amanda, who had been sleeping
peacefully for over an hour. Sleep still alluded Lee, however. He couldn't
sleep until he had pinpointed what was wrong.
Lee had been noticing it for a while now. Before he and Amanda had announced their marraige, Philip had craved his attention and Jamie was distant and withdrawn. Now, the four had been living together as a family for over a year, though, and Lee was beginning to notice, while Jamie had become more comfortable with him, Philip was pulling back a little farther each day.
"You just have to expect it," Lee mentaly chidded himself. "After all, all sixteen year olds are moody. Philip is just reacting to his need for his father," Lee's heart broke a little as he admitted to himself, "and I can never replace his father."
Lee tried to drag his thoughts away from his oldest stepson and focus on his need for sleep, but by the time he drifted off, he knew that something must be done, soon. A man in his line of work could not risk not being at the top of his game. His last waking thought was, "I have to talk to Philip-- tomorrow."
Morning came early for Lee Stetson. Too early.
"Good morning, Lee!" Amanda called cherrily as he drug himself into the kitchen. The boys where already gulping down their breakfast.
"Hi, Lee," Jamie managed between mouthfuls.
"Bye Mom, bye Lee." Philip said almost simultaniously. He jumped up and raced out the door.
"Philip, don't forget to get your math book!" Amanda called to the retreating teen.
Her only answer was "Sure!" as the door slammed behind him.
Jamie grinned. "I'll give it to him." He stood and raced after his brother, calling back his own goodbyes.
Amanda shook her head. "I thought I would never survive until those boys could get themselves out in the mornings-- now I find it is even harder with teens!" She looked over at her rumpled husband, who was still standing just inside the door way with a blank look on his face.
"I'm still not used to it," Lee admitted with a grin. "Well, what's for breakfast? Billy wants us in early for a meeting."
The rest of their morning was rushed, and Lee did not get another chance to think about Philip until later that afternoon, when a phone call caught him entering the Q bureau after a light survalince mission. Amanda had just left to help Francine get ready for an undercover mission.
"Hello, International Federal Films, Film Library, Lee speaking." He called into the phone.
"Is Mom there?" Lee recognized Philip's sullen voice.
"No, she just left. What do you need?"
"Nothing you can help with. I need Mom to call the school as soon as she gets in."
Lee could hear talking in the background, and made a guess. "Are you in trouble at school?"
So what if I am?" Philip answered angerly. "Mom needs to come and talk with the teacher."
Amanda will be out most of the afternoon," Lee explained. "I can be down there in a few minutes."
Don't bother," Philip growled, "They need to speak to a parent."
Lee felt the barb that was intended, but chose to ignore it for the moment. "Ok, I'll leave a message for Amanda and be right down." He gave Philip no time to argue before hanging up the phone. He called Billy and was on his way to the school in less than five minutes.
When Lee arrived, Philip made no bones about the fact that he wasn't happy to see him.
"What is it?" Lee asked.
"I got in a fight." Philip's tone was light, and he tried to brush it off.
Lee nodded and then went into the office to speak with the principal and teacher. A few minutes later, he reappeared, a questioning look on his face. "The teacher said you started the fight," he stated, leaving an opening for rebuttal. None came, so he continued, "They are talking about suspention. Why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Philip shouted. Lee was surprised. He had never seen Philip like this. The boy was fighting mad. "I want my Mom, Lee!" he shouted again.
Suddenly, with nothing to fall back on, Lee snapped into agent mode. "Come with me," he demanded, grabbing Philip's arm and practically dragging him from the school.
"I have to go to class!" Philip protested, but Lee cut him off.
"No, you don't. You've been suspended. Now, you are coming with me!"
Philip followed him reluctantly to the car, and they climbed in. Lee didn't start the moter, however. He locked the doors and sat looking at Philip for a long moment. "Ok," He finally broke the silence, "tell me what's up."
Philip just glared at him.
Lee's patience was waning. "Now, Son!" he demanded.
"I'm not your son!" Philip burst out.
For Lee, it all clicked in that instant. His hunch had been right-- Philip needed his father. "Look, Philip, I know I can never replace your father, but you are going to have to recognize me as your stepfather sooner or later. Why not make it easier on all of us and make it sooner?"
"I have a lot of friends with stepfathers, Lee, and trust me, you are no more a stepfather than you are a father!" Philip screamed. He turned his back to Lee, and Lee suddenly realized that Philip was dangerously close to tears. That made him turn of 'agent' mode and turn on 'father' mode.
"Philip," Lee asked gently, "I thought that we were friends. What do I do wrong? Tell me what I did to turn you against me."
"It's not what you did," Philip answered crypticly, "it's what you didn't do."
Now Lee was even more confused. He decided to wait for Philip to explain. He finally did explain, with a sigh of longsuffering.
"I have plenty of friends, Lee. I don't want another 'friend'. When you married my mom, I thought that you wanted Jamie and me, too. But I don't know where I got that idea. We wern't even invited to the wedding. You don't want to be a dad, Lee, you just wanted my mom."
Things started to fall into place for Lee. "Philip, I thought I was doing the right thing. Leaving room for you and your real dad, you know. I didn't think I was shutting you out."
"'Leaving room' has nothing to do with it, Lee!" Philip yelled. "You didn't bother to let us know you married our mom. You've been living with us for a whole year, Lee, and I don't even know what you do for a living. In fact, I hardly know what my mom does anymore. Not only are you not in our lives, you're taking our mom out of our lives, too!" Philip sighed and drew a deep breath. "My 'dad' is in Africa, Lee. It won't hurt his feelings if you talk to us once in a while."
Lee closed his eyes in thought. He had known this day would come, but he had dreaded it. Now, he knew it was time to tell the truth. Philip wasn't a little boy who might 'spill the beans' anymore. He was a young man who deserved to be trusted.
"You're right, Philip." Lee faced Philip squarely. "Ask me anything you want. It's time that you know."
Philip was a little taken aback by Lee's comment, but he knew something monumental was about to happen, so he met the challenge with all due gravity. "Ok," he said slowly, ""Where did you and Mom meet?"
"At a train station." Lee had always told the boys that they had met at work, but this time, he wasn't going to lie.
"Why did you always say that you met at work?"
"Because, technecally, I was working at the time." Lee knew that the next question would reveal everything.
Surprisingly, Philip dropped the subject there, though. "Why did you never offer to change our name to Stetson? Or at least let us call you dad?"
So there it was. Different route, same result. "Because," Lee started slowly, "I loved you too much. I am in a very dangerous line of work. Giving you my name would let people tie you to me, and put you in danger, too."
Philip thought about this. "Are you involved with something illegal, Lee?"
"No." Lee gathered the curage to say the words he had never said before. "I am a spy."
Over the next two hours, everything came out. Lee left no details out. It was almost a releif to talk to Philip about it.
Before they left the car, Lee reminded Philip of something. "You can't tell anyone about this, Son. Not even Jamie. The only ones you can talk to are your mother and me."
"Yes, sir, I understand." Philip replied soberly.
Another thought hit Lee. "Philip, I've told you everything. Will you please tell me why yo got into a fight today?"
Philip smiled brightly at Lee. "Some guy told me that my stepfather must hate my guts, so I punched out his."
Lee laughed. "Atta boy, Son. You tell 'em!"
Lee had been noticing it for a while now. Before he and Amanda had announced their marraige, Philip had craved his attention and Jamie was distant and withdrawn. Now, the four had been living together as a family for over a year, though, and Lee was beginning to notice, while Jamie had become more comfortable with him, Philip was pulling back a little farther each day.
"You just have to expect it," Lee mentaly chidded himself. "After all, all sixteen year olds are moody. Philip is just reacting to his need for his father," Lee's heart broke a little as he admitted to himself, "and I can never replace his father."
Lee tried to drag his thoughts away from his oldest stepson and focus on his need for sleep, but by the time he drifted off, he knew that something must be done, soon. A man in his line of work could not risk not being at the top of his game. His last waking thought was, "I have to talk to Philip-- tomorrow."
Morning came early for Lee Stetson. Too early.
"Good morning, Lee!" Amanda called cherrily as he drug himself into the kitchen. The boys where already gulping down their breakfast.
"Hi, Lee," Jamie managed between mouthfuls.
"Bye Mom, bye Lee." Philip said almost simultaniously. He jumped up and raced out the door.
"Philip, don't forget to get your math book!" Amanda called to the retreating teen.
Her only answer was "Sure!" as the door slammed behind him.
Jamie grinned. "I'll give it to him." He stood and raced after his brother, calling back his own goodbyes.
Amanda shook her head. "I thought I would never survive until those boys could get themselves out in the mornings-- now I find it is even harder with teens!" She looked over at her rumpled husband, who was still standing just inside the door way with a blank look on his face.
"I'm still not used to it," Lee admitted with a grin. "Well, what's for breakfast? Billy wants us in early for a meeting."
The rest of their morning was rushed, and Lee did not get another chance to think about Philip until later that afternoon, when a phone call caught him entering the Q bureau after a light survalince mission. Amanda had just left to help Francine get ready for an undercover mission.
"Hello, International Federal Films, Film Library, Lee speaking." He called into the phone.
"Is Mom there?" Lee recognized Philip's sullen voice.
"No, she just left. What do you need?"
"Nothing you can help with. I need Mom to call the school as soon as she gets in."
Lee could hear talking in the background, and made a guess. "Are you in trouble at school?"
So what if I am?" Philip answered angerly. "Mom needs to come and talk with the teacher."
Amanda will be out most of the afternoon," Lee explained. "I can be down there in a few minutes."
Don't bother," Philip growled, "They need to speak to a parent."
Lee felt the barb that was intended, but chose to ignore it for the moment. "Ok, I'll leave a message for Amanda and be right down." He gave Philip no time to argue before hanging up the phone. He called Billy and was on his way to the school in less than five minutes.
When Lee arrived, Philip made no bones about the fact that he wasn't happy to see him.
"What is it?" Lee asked.
"I got in a fight." Philip's tone was light, and he tried to brush it off.
Lee nodded and then went into the office to speak with the principal and teacher. A few minutes later, he reappeared, a questioning look on his face. "The teacher said you started the fight," he stated, leaving an opening for rebuttal. None came, so he continued, "They are talking about suspention. Why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Philip shouted. Lee was surprised. He had never seen Philip like this. The boy was fighting mad. "I want my Mom, Lee!" he shouted again.
Suddenly, with nothing to fall back on, Lee snapped into agent mode. "Come with me," he demanded, grabbing Philip's arm and practically dragging him from the school.
"I have to go to class!" Philip protested, but Lee cut him off.
"No, you don't. You've been suspended. Now, you are coming with me!"
Philip followed him reluctantly to the car, and they climbed in. Lee didn't start the moter, however. He locked the doors and sat looking at Philip for a long moment. "Ok," He finally broke the silence, "tell me what's up."
Philip just glared at him.
Lee's patience was waning. "Now, Son!" he demanded.
"I'm not your son!" Philip burst out.
For Lee, it all clicked in that instant. His hunch had been right-- Philip needed his father. "Look, Philip, I know I can never replace your father, but you are going to have to recognize me as your stepfather sooner or later. Why not make it easier on all of us and make it sooner?"
"I have a lot of friends with stepfathers, Lee, and trust me, you are no more a stepfather than you are a father!" Philip screamed. He turned his back to Lee, and Lee suddenly realized that Philip was dangerously close to tears. That made him turn of 'agent' mode and turn on 'father' mode.
"Philip," Lee asked gently, "I thought that we were friends. What do I do wrong? Tell me what I did to turn you against me."
"It's not what you did," Philip answered crypticly, "it's what you didn't do."
Now Lee was even more confused. He decided to wait for Philip to explain. He finally did explain, with a sigh of longsuffering.
"I have plenty of friends, Lee. I don't want another 'friend'. When you married my mom, I thought that you wanted Jamie and me, too. But I don't know where I got that idea. We wern't even invited to the wedding. You don't want to be a dad, Lee, you just wanted my mom."
Things started to fall into place for Lee. "Philip, I thought I was doing the right thing. Leaving room for you and your real dad, you know. I didn't think I was shutting you out."
"'Leaving room' has nothing to do with it, Lee!" Philip yelled. "You didn't bother to let us know you married our mom. You've been living with us for a whole year, Lee, and I don't even know what you do for a living. In fact, I hardly know what my mom does anymore. Not only are you not in our lives, you're taking our mom out of our lives, too!" Philip sighed and drew a deep breath. "My 'dad' is in Africa, Lee. It won't hurt his feelings if you talk to us once in a while."
Lee closed his eyes in thought. He had known this day would come, but he had dreaded it. Now, he knew it was time to tell the truth. Philip wasn't a little boy who might 'spill the beans' anymore. He was a young man who deserved to be trusted.
"You're right, Philip." Lee faced Philip squarely. "Ask me anything you want. It's time that you know."
Philip was a little taken aback by Lee's comment, but he knew something monumental was about to happen, so he met the challenge with all due gravity. "Ok," he said slowly, ""Where did you and Mom meet?"
"At a train station." Lee had always told the boys that they had met at work, but this time, he wasn't going to lie.
"Why did you always say that you met at work?"
"Because, technecally, I was working at the time." Lee knew that the next question would reveal everything.
Surprisingly, Philip dropped the subject there, though. "Why did you never offer to change our name to Stetson? Or at least let us call you dad?"
So there it was. Different route, same result. "Because," Lee started slowly, "I loved you too much. I am in a very dangerous line of work. Giving you my name would let people tie you to me, and put you in danger, too."
Philip thought about this. "Are you involved with something illegal, Lee?"
"No." Lee gathered the curage to say the words he had never said before. "I am a spy."
Over the next two hours, everything came out. Lee left no details out. It was almost a releif to talk to Philip about it.
Before they left the car, Lee reminded Philip of something. "You can't tell anyone about this, Son. Not even Jamie. The only ones you can talk to are your mother and me."
"Yes, sir, I understand." Philip replied soberly.
Another thought hit Lee. "Philip, I've told you everything. Will you please tell me why yo got into a fight today?"
Philip smiled brightly at Lee. "Some guy told me that my stepfather must hate my guts, so I punched out his."
Lee laughed. "Atta boy, Son. You tell 'em!"