A/N: A good old classic ooey gooey romantic drabble with my favorite persona 4 ship, Yu and Naoto. I hope no one gets offended or what have you with the fact that I refer to the P4 Protagonist as Yu. I tend to write him as he appears in the anime since the game is more of your interpretation. I tried to more or less capture what it would look like if these two were in a relationship and the ups and downs of it, and also how Yu breaks away from his usual general agreeableness to really fighting for something(one) outside of Shadows and TV Land. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and etc etc etc
Don't Leave
"Yu, you should start thinking about your future."
It all started to tumble down hill from that comment.
His Uncle probably meant to say it as a nonchalant reminder, something that would initiate Yu to start looking into colleges, but it was never the Detective's intention to give him any kind of insecurity. It suddenly dawned on him that he had absolutely nothing to fall back on. Yosuke was the Junes Prince, Rise was starting to revert back to her idol status, Yukiko finally realized that reserving the inn was something she felt strongly about, Kanji had his Textile business and his unparalleled crafting skills, Chie had a passion for the martial arts and helping others, and Naoto was of course completely dedicated to her family tradition of being a detective—a "cool hardboiled" one at that.
He couldn't deny the fact that he was the only one who didn't have a defining talent. He might have been the Wild Card, but the privilege only lasted so long now that the case was over. This time he wholeheartedly knew the case would never be reopened again now that Adachi was behind bars. The fact that he was never summoned back to the Velvet Room made it crystal clear that he was no longer needed. Yu had to admit he even started to miss Igor's menacing bulging eyes after a while. Everyone else seemed to be moving on with their lives while Yu remained static. At times he felt chained to his sofa staring into the empty TV screen. Sometimes he found himself doing it subconsciously and it wasn't until he heard his cellphone or something ringing that made him realize how much strain there was on his eyes from staring at the screen. Even without the notification of it turning Midnight, his eyes would linger on to the TV as the second hand of his clock ominously counted down the seconds before it turned twelve. The familiar fizzing white noise of the Midnight Channel failed to appear and instead of a hazy clip of the next victim, there was nothing but a gaping black screen, and he was left with nothing.
The whole experience felt like deja vu. It was almost too similar to the nightmare he was forced to endure when the team went into TV Land to defeat Mitsuo. Unfortunately this time, he knew this was reality. At the very least he knew his friends were still close to him, and thankfully that reassured him enough; there was still something unsettling about his listless behavior that made him recall his encounter with Mitsuo.
They were in his dungeon and the pixelated cartoon-like imagery only made the atmosphere feel even more unnerving. He could feel himself falling behind the rest of the group and within a matter of seconds his friends were drifting so far from him he lost the motivation to try and catch up. As he watched their backs strolling into the dungeon he realized compared to his tense and anxious posture, they were casually walking into this battle with a completely different mindset. He was petrified of the end; they were looking forward to it. They wouldn't need him anymore after this. Teddie stumbled behind him naively asking him, "Did they leave us bearhind?"
He didn't want to answer. He was afraid of voicing out the answer that was already deeply rooted in his mind; hearing his own voice confirming his doubts was something he wanted to run away from. He always ran away. "They're pretty heartless aren't they, Sensei?" Teddie's voice spoke up from behind him.
A quiet voice appeared from the back of his mind confirming Teddie's remark, but he chose not to acknowledge it. They were different, right? They weren't like the rest. They were the first people he could ever call friends, the least he could do was keep some kind of faith that they would remain by his side. He wouldn't be abandoned again. Yu marched on leaving Teddie to fall behind solely because he didn't want to come to terms with the inevitable. Don't think about it. Stop expecting the worst. Yu ignored Teddie calling him. He knew if he walked away now, at least he wouldn't be the last one left behind.
Mitsuo's confessions reverberated throughout the corridor spitting out venomous words about how prideful he was about committing the murders. Yu ran ahead of the team not because he was desperate to stop Mitsuo's doing, but admittedly to confirm if Mitsuo truly was the mastermind behind everything. A guilty part of him didn't want this to end. He wondered if he even deserved the ability to summon multiple personas at all. Wasn't it his given duty to stop the crimes? Why was it that instead he wanted nothing more than to prolong the experience?
His premonition came true starting off with Rise's sudden leave; his friends were starting to separate from him. He was nothing more than a temporary solution, someone they looked up to only when they needed direction, but the following Spring was his expiration date and they made it painfully obvious. Soon enough he realized he had slipped back into his old routine of avoiding his friends. He was back to being his empty self and once again he was left meandering around alone in school trying to avoid any kind of social interaction because he was forced to relearn the lesson that putting an effort into such relationships wasn't worth it in the end. Yosuke said it clearly when they were at the foot of Rise's closed tofu shop. "It only goes to show we were the only ones who thought we were friends."
It wasn't until he was the only one at the Junes table that he realized he reverted back to his old days of sitting alone. Yosuke came around only to ask Yu if anyone was coming, but the ex-leader cut him off.
"What do you think Teddie is up to?" He finally realized how selfish he was to ignore Teddie's remarks when he walked on without him. A leader—no a friend—would have turned around and waited. Instead he selfishly thought of himself. The last thing he wanted was to be last standing alone in a corridor, but here he was once again isolated from the group.
Yosuke was talking to him but his attention was obviously directed toward his phone, talking to Kou and Daisuke no doubt (why else would they have randomly showed up to their sacred team meetings?) Now Yu was in Teddie's position back in the dungeon. He was the one who had to stare at his last companion walking away. Why didn't he stay?
Even in the imagined scenario, he anticipated the Midnight Channel. He even went as far as to touch the cold screen of the TV. Unfortunately, instead of feeling a familiar tugging of the screen there was nothing but resistance from the plastic material.
"Friendship is an illusion."
There was a strange mixture of hope and utter desolation when he saw the fetus-like Shadow appearing before him. Didn't the Shadow mean that there was something unresolved? Maybe this way the team would come back together again. The fraction of hope he had dissolved in a minute when he tried to summon his persona only to see blank arcanas. Bonds were the true power and the ghostly void of arcanas in his tarot card sent a chill down his spine. He was powerless without his friendships. Now he wasn't a leader nor the Wild Card. He was no one.
It wasn't until Yosuke called out to him that he remembered sinking into Mitsuo's trap, and on the other side his friends were patiently waiting for his return. Their enthusiastic responses fueled his drive. How could he ever forget who he was? He was their Senpai, their Sensei, their friend and leader. That battle proved that he wasn't empty, and as painful it was to recall his arcanas were still present and constantly swarming in his mind. A blank tarot card was something he would never worry about ever again. He realized that when he stared into Mitsuo's soulless orbs. In the pit of his enemy's eyes, Yu could see the determination in his own face.
"I am not empty," He said aloud. The silver haired boy blearily opened his eyes trying to make sense of the abstract blurry shapes that represented his apartment. He must have fell asleep on the couch while waiting for the clock to strike twelve. It wasn't his proudest moment to know that he wasted an entire day seated in front of a TV screen in a sad attempt to catch glimpse of something he knew was long gone. Rubbing his eyes he looked at the neon green light of his clock read 11:32. Yu sat up and winced when he felt his sore joints refusing to cooperate. Looking down he noticed there was a blanket neatly draped around him. He didn't need to see the platform shoes in the doorway to know that Naoto stopped by to check up on him. He was going to have to brace himself for a scolding when she found out about his rather pathetic behavior. Painfully he stood up to stretch his joints. Staring back at the TV screen he silently declared this would be his last night wishing for the Midnight Channel to be back. There was no use reminiscing about the past, and he wouldn't spend another second in hopes of reentering TV Land. He had to accept this, and face the future head on.
He stumbled across the living room to enter his bedroom. Using the wall as a guide, he slowly felt his way through the darkness. Fortunately, he didn't collapse into his bed because to his surprise he found Naoto bundled up under his sheets. With a soft smile he kneeled down to place loose strands of hair behind her ear. Even in her sleep she managed to furrow her brows at him. He took a moment to admire her sleeping form. Now that his eyes were adjusting to the dark, he didn't need the moonlight seeping in from the nearby window to clearly see her.
After remembering his encounter with Mitsuo, Yu wondered what it would have been like if he had established a bond with Naoto before confronting him. The illusion shamelessly revealed out his deepest fears and doubts. Rise, someone who showered Yu with compliments, was the one who left him behind without a word as though every thing she said had been a lie. Yu considered his friendship with Kanji to be something special knowing that the blonde teen openly told Yu about his questionable sexuality, and in the simulated nightmare, Kanji was the one who admitted that he felt frustrated about having to act nice to everyone. Yu couldn't help but wonder what his deepest fear about Naoto was. Would she deny his leadership, or even worse find it unsatisfactory? Or would she choose to not acknowledge him at all? Perhaps it was some kind of blessing that postponed their relationship so he wouldn't have to live with that kind of memory.
He used the back of his hand to softly brush against her cheeks. Sometimes he could have sworn her skin felt like porcelain. Knowing she was a light sleeper, he gently lifted up the covers to keep from making any movement and noise. Before slipping in beside her, he noticed that she was wearing his spare pair of pajamas. The fact that she didn't bring her own sleepwear only meant she wasn't expecting to stay the night. She probably suspected something was wrong the moment she saw him laying on the couch in front of a blank screen with the TV remote in one hand and his glasses clutched tightly in the other.
His pajamas were much bigger than her petite body and it made her look even smaller than she already was. The sleeves of the pajamas were so much longer than her arm length they hid her hand completely within the sleeve. The sight of the overgrown clothes reminded him of the appearance of her Shadow.
Yu clearly recalled Naoto standing before her Shadow wailing into her ill-fitting sleeves. Even with her distorted voice he could make out what she was saying. He couldn't help but feel some kind of connection when he heard the Shadow crying, "I'm lonely so lonely. Please don't leave me." It almost felt like he was looking at his younger self clutching on to the bottom of his mother's dress as she tried to pull away.
He finally slipped inside of the covers and placed himself uncomfortably in the limited space that she didn't fill carefully slithered his arm beneath the pillow to elevate her head further. He snaked his arm around her neck and cautiously drew her into his arms so that he wouldn't wake her. His mind drifted again.
Once her Shadow gained enough momentum, she condescendingly pointed out how people only wanted Naoto for her brains and after that she would be cast aside. It was hard to not see the close resemblance between their insecurities. She was fearful of people throwing her away once they used her prodigious intelligence, while he was wary of people leaving him behind once the team knew they wouldn't need a leader anymore. The only thing that separated the two of them was the fact that he at least had a support system behind him. Although he had his doubts, Yosuke, Yukiko, Kanji, Chie, and Teddie were with him the whole way. Naoto had no one. In a way she didn't even have herself to believe in because of the unhealthy belief she had about her gender.
It was unsettling to know that it had taken him this long to put the pieces together. He, of all people, should have known what it felt like to be alone. He should have been the one to notice her standing alone. On the day of the school trip, Yukiko was insightful enough to suggest inviting Naoto to their hang outs. He looked up at the mention of the "Little Detective" to see her standing off in the corner near the whirring vending machine instead of in the groups. The hint of a scowl she had on her face slightly reminded him of himself. Yosuke agreed with Yukiko saying she was "a fellow transfer student" and once again he was reminded of himself.
There were many instances where he was isolated in the shadows while the rest of the students were excitedly chattering away about the upcoming school trip. The irony of the whole situation was that the school trip was meant to promote unity in the school. Instead if only emphasized how alone he was, and here the situation played out again except this time he was surrounded by friends while she was ostracized.
Yukiko then mentioned the fact that although Naoto was a detective, she was still a normal high school student. She needed somebody. He took the next opportunity he had and walked up to her. He offered a slight smile and she looked up at him with a confused look.
"Let's hang out together." He suggested in a noncommittal way. To be honest, he was expecting a swift refusal or some kind of excuse why she couldn't, but instead there was a hint of shock and then a surprising nod of consent. Although she was actually out for information on them, he was sure there was a certain part of her that desired the acceptance.
He could only hope that by now he offered at least that much to her.
Although it was without her consent, he leaned his forehead against hers and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her chapped lips. "I'll be here," He mumbled although he knew she would wake up oblivious to his promise. If anything it was a vow that he made to himself. He would make sure she never felt alone. His future may have seemed unclear for now, but at least he had someone to support him and he only wanted to do the same for her. She mumbled in her sleep a little bit and although most of the words were unintelligible a few words sounded like "case" and "Watson." Making sure the blankets were securely over her, he whispered a goodnight. Whether it was the sound of her rhythmic breathing or the relief he felt after realizing his resolution, he finally had one peaceful night of sleep.
His eyes fluttered open only to see a familiar face staring up at him. The first sensation he felt was a dull pain radiating from his forearm that came from having her head leaning against it the whole night.
"Good morning," He greeted while opening his mouth to let out a yawn. His voice sounded a bit strained from the long night. The groggy leader raised his hand to rub the sleep out of eyes before letting his head collapse on to the pillow. He closed his eyes when he felt her hand cautiously reaching up to comb his bowlcut back into pristine form. She probably did it just to satisfy her habit of being overly neat instead of touching him.
"It feels nice," he mumbled sleepily and he stifled a laugh when he felt her hand nervously twitch ever so slightly during his comment. Feeling a bit brave he used his free arm to reel her in closer eliciting a slight gasp to exit her lips. If she brought up his brazen behavior he would easily use the morning grogginess as a scapegoat. He finally opened his eyes and waited for his vision to adjust to the sudden influx of light. Now that he was fully alert, a question prodded his mind. It wasn't like Naoto to stay by his side, especially wrapped in his arms, waiting for him to wake up. If anything she would have carefully slipped out of bed at the first hint of sunlight to prepare herself for the day and make their morning coffee.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here when I woke up." Her eyes widened a fraction and then melded into a slightly worried look. Something was wrong. She wasn't verbal about it but the slight angle of her brow made all the difference. "Hey," he started to speak but the shuffling of the blankets interrupted him. The detective rose out of the bed and used her fingers as a poor attempt to straighten her mussy hair.
"Naoto I-"
"I'll make the coffee," she insisted almost silently begging him to drop the subject and he obeyed only because of the weak smile she gave him. In a way the small gesture reassured him. She just needed time. He nodded and sluggishly followed her into the kitchen.
"I'll make some breakfast," He leaned over to grab a few slices of bread on the counter nearby.
"The cups," she asked waiting for him to turn around. He reached up to take two cups out of the highest cupboard in the kitchen. His was the one with the orange label, the one Dojima gave to him when he officially welcomed him in to the family, the other was-
"This one is yours," He placed his mug on the counter but put the newly bought cup in her hands, "I bought it a few days ago because it reminded me of you." In a way it was a way of symbolizing the solidity of their relationship. On one of Dojima's buzzed nights he slurred that it was when he found Chisato's belongings in every crevice of his house that he realized she was the one he wanted to marry. With a heated face from the alcohol and the memory of the love of his life, Dojima admitted that was what love was. It wasn't some kind of abrupt realization involving fireworks and sparks, but a quiet reassurance like a memory you forgot about; the familiarity and warmth that came with the thought of her was so undeniable it was impossible to deny it never occurred. He silently looked at her curiously peering at the cup in her hands. He was so sure that she would approve of the design of it, it was a simple white mug with a navy blue handle, but instead she stared at it with such a look of disbelief as it were levitating out of her hands.
He would have teased her surprised look if it was the kind of shock that occurred when you received a gift that you never expected, but instead it seemed like she got the wind knocked out of her.
"Naoto?"
The sharp whistling coming from the kettle diverted her attention and the slight look of relief she had on her face only made him feel worrisome. It was like she was thankful that there was something to excuse her from the conversation. With a mumbled "thank you" and a "this gesture is greatly appreciated" she turned her back to him to grind the coffee beans.
He knew she wasn't very expressive, but he did expect more than a half-hearted reply. Perhaps he was overanalyzing things. She did struggle with the concept of a relationship after all. His gaze lingered on her back (why did it suddenly look so unwelcoming?) before turning to the stovetop to fry two eggs. She liked it sunny-side-up.
He thought her odd behavior would stop but the day after was even stranger.
"Shuu." He wasn't expecting to see his student out of the blue. Yu turned around to face Naoto and lifted his index finger asking her to wait a second. With a curt nod and a slight smile she obliged. He walked over and a smile appeared on his face when he saw the small bespectacled boy walking in front of two other boys. "Are these your friends?" Yu asked.
"Yeah, we're going to go to the arcade later," Shuu replied with a shy smile. He carefully unfolded his hand to reveal the birthday present Yu gave to him a year ago. Yu wasn't the best at giving gifts, but he knew he wanted to prevent Shuu from living a life a solitude like he did.
"I see," He smiled. It wasn't too long ago that the boy ridiculed arcades calling them "stupid" and for "dumb people." He even recalled reading Timid Teacher and cursing Shuu's obnoxious behavior when he refused to listen. "Don't forget about your studies though." Yu teased.
"I still don't want to go to Yasogami High."
Yu stared at the boy with an unemotional face. He guessed some things stayed the same. After a few minutes of conversation he watched Shuu running off with the two other boys trailing behind. With a wave of his hand he called over Naoto. At least that was what he would have done if he didn't unceremoniously bump into a passerby in the process.
"Sorry."
"Well if you wanted to touch me all you had to do was ask. Don't be so coy about your feelings."
Honestly, the nurse managed to show up at the most opportune times. Yu threw Naoto a wary look and parted his lips to mouth the words "save me" but the sly woman slinked by his side and snaked her arm around his. Realizing it was possibly the worst scene for Naoto to witness, he abruptly pulled away and walked back to Naoto to swiftly grab her hand and march away. He ignored the voice of the nurse telling him to give her a call anytime he felt bored and quickly led the stumbling detective back to his apartment.
"She's just someone I met while I helped someone to the hospital." Yu fiddled with the keys before finding the one that opened his apartment. He inserted the key into the lock before looking at her to see her reaction. Instead of the expected glare, there was something about her expression that he couldn't quite pinpoint. It wasn't a look of disappointment or doubt which was surprisingly what he preferred compared to the expression of quiet acceptance. It was as if she didn't mind there was some woman exposing herself to him like that. He looked back at the lock and twisted the key making the door swing open with an eery screech.
For a second the two of them stayed at the doorstep, both waiting for the other to enter first. Uncomfortable with the uncharacteristic awkward silence, he took a step in but immediately paused when he heard her quiet voice.
"I'm glad you have so many people who care about you."
He turned around wanting to demand what she meant by such a statement but the way she said it almost seemed like she was just thinking aloud. It was like she was whispering a response to a doubt that always haunted her mind. Maybe this was where he was in the wrong, but instead of asking her outright he just looked at her with expecting eyes. For how long would she keep to herself?
"Ah," she began and he foolishly nodded his head in anticipation thinking she was finally going to explain her odd behavior but instead she mumbled, "We should hurry. We promised to visit Dojima-san and Nanako-chan tonight." He looked at her for a moment still expecting her to say more but she remained silent. With a complacent nod he turned around and entered his apartment. He didn't even look back to see her pulling down her hat to hide whatever expression she wore at the moment.
This happened before. It wasn't the first time he felt them slowly drifting apart, but he usually still had a firm belief that they were still on solid ground. This time he wasn't quite sure what to expect. He shook his head. Keep your cool. The last time he acted rashly led to their first explosive fight. The look of rage and disappointment she had on her face when he caged her against the wall was something he never wanted to relive. She would tell him why she was acting this way. Eventually.
Their walk to the Dojima household was quiet, but the tension between them seemed to die off as the sun set. It was a chilly night which gave him an excuse to sidle up next to her so that their shoulders periodically bumped when they walked. She looked up at him and before she could ask he answered, "Body heat."
He buzzed the doorbell to his old home and smiled when he heard Nanako's voice saying "Big Bro!" through the intercom. Out of paranoia, Dojima took one day off of work to set up the mechanical device that allowed Nanako to see a video of the visitor before opening door. Yu agreed to the idea and even came over to help test it out. The traumatic experience of losing Nanako was still rampant in their minds and they took extra precautions to make sure the past would never repeat itself.
"Yeah it's Yu. I brought Naoto too," Yu replied to the machine wishing he was seeing his little sister's voice instead of a chunk of plastic. He sent Naoto a sidelong glance and playfully tugged at her hat when he mentioned her name. She sent him a glare and finally things were starting to feel normal again.
The door clicked open and before he could step inside he felt Nanako colliding against his waist and her arms wrapping around him.
"Welcome home Big Bro!" She chirped. Although he technically didn't live here anymore, he didn't have the heart to tell her to change the greeting. Plus, it was more of his loss than hers to give up the familiar welcome. After giving her a pat on the head she quickly let go of him to grab on to Naoto's hand. The detective offered her a smile and allowed herself to be led in to the house. Sometimes he felt a little envious of Nanako for being able to hold Naoto's hand for such an extended period of time, but he couldn't be too offended considering physical contact a young girl was much different than a boyfriend.
Yu quietly trailed behind to two girls. Dojima came up to give Yu a fatherly slap on the back. Thankfully his Uncle was used to having Naoto coming over to visit and he gave her an acknowledging nod. He could hardly forget the awkward conversation he had when Yu finally confessed to having a girlfriend. After much goading from the drunken Uncle, Yu told him it was Naoto. That certainly sobered him up.
They were enjoying their junes packaged meals until Yu noticed Nanako flickering her eyes from Yu to Naoto. She politely set down her chopsticks and Yu gave her an encouraging smile hoping it would facilitate in getting out what she had to say.
"Do you and Big Bro kiss?" Nanako abruptly asked giving Dojima a coughing fit and making a red flush appear over Naoto's cheeks. Setting his bowl of rice down, Yu looked at Nanako with a serious expression and nodded.
"Yeah, we do. A lot," He deadpanned.
"Don't talk about that kind of stuff in front of Nanako like that," Dojima scolded with an exasperated sigh. Nanako's bundled cheeks grew a dark shade of pink and she fiddled with her chopsticks.
"Does that mean you release pheromones?" She innocently asked. Obviously Naoto had yet to recompose herself.
"Where did you learn how to say words like that?" Dojima asked as he scratched the back of neck. Obviously those quiz shows she was watched during Dojima's work hours were expanding her vocabulary. The rest of the night passed with the four of them sitting around the heated kotatsu watching various programs on the TV that ranged from Magical Girl Loveline to the daily news report. Nanako's eyes were practically glued on to the television as the TV screen was showered with pastel pinks as the detective heroine proceeded to find clues. Yu glanced over at Naoto who seemed engrossed by the TV in front of her.
"Do you like Loveline too?" Yu sent Naoto a teasing smile. Her head remained perfectly still but her eyes ever so slowly moved until they were meeting his with a dead on glare. She wasn't amused.
"Want me to fill you with holes?" He mimicked the popular line from the children's show with a deadpanned face, but she offered no hint of being amused.
"Senpai." She frequently called him by his previous title instead of his name when she wanted to show that she wasn't going to tolerate his behavior.
"You don't know it, but this is also one of your charms," he slyly added with a smile and he leaned in to sneak a peck, but Naoto's hand clasped over his mouth. He turned his attention to where Naoto was looking and saw Nanako curiously staring up at the two of them. Yu was glad his Uncle surrendered to the comforting heat of the kotatsu and was too deep in sleep to witness his daughter seeing something so "adult."
It was nearing Midnight and with the presence of his family the Midnight Channel didn't even cross his mind. Nanako shyly released her hold on Naoto's hand and said an enthusiastic goodnight before trotting off to her bedroom. Naoto dismissed herself next and rose to exit the living room. Yu followed her lead into the corridor and headed toward his room.
"Goodnight," she murmured while tipping her hat. She reached her hand over to twist the doorknob of Nanako's room, but he placed himself in front of the door to block her way.
"Stay with me," he boldly asked causing her shoulders to jump up from being startled.
With a stuttering voice and a flushed face she sharply whispered, "Why would you suggest such a thing in here of all places?" Naoto glanced over at Nanako's bedroom before returning her glaring at him.
"You're acting strange. I wanted to ask y-"
"Yu."
Yu looked up to see his Uncle looking down at him with suspicious eyes. His glower was almost as threatening as the day he stared down at him opening the letter the night of Nanako's kidnapping. The older detective obviously wasn't in favor of any "funny business" going on in his house.
"Uncle I-"
"Goodnight," His Uncle cut him off and took the time to accusingly stare at the two of them straight in the eye, "The both of you. Shirogane, you'll sleep with Nanako tonight. Yu, you know where your room is."
With a lingering look at Naoto, Yu nodded. "Tomorrow." Yu said while directing a look toward Naoto. He lifted an arm to touch her. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do, but he felt as though if he did something, anything, she wouldn't seem so distant. His raised arm faltered before reaching her and instead he turned around and quietly slipped into his room.
He awoke the next day and quickly rose out of bed to make Nanako breakfast before sending her off to school. It wasn't until he walked over to the kitchen to see Dojima's poorly made scrambled eggs that Yu realized he didn't need to cook for her anymore. Although he missed the responsibilities he had when he lived her, it was pleasing to see Dojima finally taking on his Father role. Dojima was kind enough to make enough coffee for Yu and Naoto before he left for his morning shift.
"Coffee?" Yu asked. Without turning around he could hear Naoto's shuffling steps coming from behind. She didn't answer which caused him to turn around.
"I was waiting for a moment to speak with you privately."
Finally, he thought. He handed her a mug of the hot liquid and took a sip of the bitter coffee before settling down to hear her speak.
Her next words were something he never expected. The whole time he stared at her with vacant eyes as she lowered her gaze to the rim of her mug of now lukewarm coffee. She explained with a tired tone of how her Grandpa suggested she study abroad. She listed the benefits of the program almost as if she had written a convincing list of how beneficial this trip was. After a moment of silence she looked up at him through her tousled bangs.
She was leaving, and the time was indefinite considering the program could easily be extended depending on her performance. They both knew, she was more than capable which meant they were now standing before crossroads about what to do with their relationship. He couldn't help but recall when she walked part of the way home with him. She shyly apologized for thinking about the case over his health. He shook it off then, it was her passion that impressed him anyways, but now it was something he couldn't quite accept. It was foolish of him in the first place to realize where he stood in her priorities especially considering she admitted her faults to him various times.
"That's so you," he mumbled aloud. His eyes stared at his reflection in his coffee.
"Yu-san, I-"
Surprisingly, he collected himself and plastered on an encouraging smile.
"It's a good opportunity. I'll be cheering you on from here. Good luck, Naoto." He gave her a smile and the sight of it offset her even further.
He couldn't quite describe the look she gave him. Her initial expression was a slight look of shock probably from how quick he accepted such shocking news, and then her face molded into a mixture of disappointment and acceptance. He quietly took another sip of his coffee, but it wasn't the taste of bitter cold coffee in his mouth that made him want to spit it out.
The following day, he volunteered to help her pack her belongings. She was leaving the day the semester ended which mean the following week. She apologized to him about informing him so late, but he brushed it aside. In fact he almost grateful for it. He started off with folding her clothes. She quietly dismissed herself from her room when Yakushiji asked her to fill out some paperwork for the trip. Now that she was out of sight he took the time to scan her room. His apartment was full of her things. Her recently purchased mug was in the cupboard next to her favorite tea flavors, his bathroom was filled with extra toiletries in case she decided to spend the night, and he found various pages of notes and poorly made paper cranes that she occupied herself with when waiting for him to return from his afternoon shift at the bookstore. Compared to his apartment, he found no remnants of him in her room except the photo the Investigation Team took during the School Festival. He thought he would at least see the tool kit he gave her on their first date, but it failed to appear before him. He didn't want to think he was the only one selfishly pursuing a relationship.
"It only goes to show we were the only ones who thought we were friends."
The next few days were supposed to be spent trying to address the fragile topic they had yet to discuss but instead their plans were pushed back in favor of her planning every detail of the trip so everything would go without a hitch. Last minute plans to see each other even in the dead of night seemed to fall through. It wasn't until it was two days before her trip that he decided it would be easier to let time solve the problem for them. Neither were the type to avoid confrontation, but then again they were both unfamiliar with how to address the end of their first committed relationship.
Yu found himself staying over at his Uncle's house more often. He hid under the pretense of being there for Nanako, but even the young girl could see he just wanted to avoid being alone in his apartment. It was ironic for him to be so unfamiliar with being left alone considering the various times he was abandoned. Dojima sat himself down next to his nephew and passed him a beer.
"I'm still underage, Uncle."
"Just take it."
Yu took the cold can of beer but kept it in his hands while Dojima took a large swig out of it.
"You gotta fight for the woman you love."
Despite the fact the last thing he wanted to do was laugh, Yu couldn't help but find his lips quirking up into a lopsided smile. The last thing he expected his Uncle to do was give him romantic advice. The night was spent with an anecdote about how Dojima had to initally fight for Chisato's attention and how that was what men had to do. After a few cans of beer were emptied by this Uncle, Yu found himself sitting next to his sleeping Uncle with the same can Dojima handed him wrapped around his hands. He blindly placed the can on the shelf next to him and the harsh sound of something hitting the wooden floor diverted his attention. Yu turned his head to see a picture frame face down on the ground. He gingerly picked it up silently hoping the glass cover didn't shatter in the process.
He picked up the frame to see it was the photo of Chisato, Dojima, and Nanako that he put up for Nanako to see. He recalled Dojima telling him that Chisato died from a simple hit and run. He was supposed to see his wife after picking up Nanako, but she was gone before he could even say goodbye. He had some childish false sense of security that Naoto would return, but what if that wasn't the case? Grabbing his jacket from on top of the kotatsu he hurriedly stumbled toward the door.
"I'm going out," he called back to Nanako and she gave him an encouraging smile as if she knew where he was going. His brisk walk turned into a frantic run as he sprinted desperately toward Naoto's house. He slowed down to a stop to see the light in her room was still on.
She opened the door, obviously he made his presence known, and before she could part her lips to say something he refused to hear he rudely interrupted her.
"Don't leave." She stared at him and he took another step closer. "Naoto, don't leave." To make his point clearer he grabbed both sides of her arm and reeled her in. He ignored her hand that was pressing against his chest trying to push him away. At one point he could have sworn she nearly punched him in an attempt to get him to release her. Before she could refute his incredulous demand he slipped his hand up the back of her neck and craned his neck to close the distance. There was a rush of relief that she didn't reject him and he only took that as a sign to wrap an arm around her waist to prohibit her from separating from him again. His fingers tangled in her hair and the only thing he wanted to feel was the soft insistence of her lips against his own.
She mumbled against his lips and he lightly caressed his fingernails along her spine to effectively distract from her initial thought. Caught in the sensation of sheer need and desperation, he abandoned the need for air to kiss her with more intensity. His hands tightened around the sheer fabric of her shirt as he desperately clung on as if she were the only stable thing in the room. His nerves were thrilling at the way she responded and he laced a thumb along her jaw to tilt her head farther to one side so he could lose himself further in the taste and feel of her. She unceremoniously looped her arm around his neck only because she needed the extra support to help the sudden weakness settling in her knees.
He tilted his head toward the other side and the tip of their noses ungracefully collided against each other as he pulled her in to lick the bottom of her lip. She shakily parted her lips granting him entrance and he tried to convey all the owed apologies and confessions that he couldn't express in just words. Gasping they broke apart, and she pushed him back unnecessarily and stumbled a bit in her sudden haste. They spent a moment blearily looking at each other's glazed faces trying to find something that could prove to them that this was truly happening. His eyes narrowed in on the sight of her swollen lips and they demanded that he reach in for another kiss. His eyes cast down unwilling to see how hard it was for him to keep from closing the distance between them again.
"Don't leave," he repeated almost pleadingly. He couldn't tell if the slight quivering in his voice was from the lack of air or from the sheer need to convince her to remain by his side. He practiced what he wanted to say on his sprint here, but all of his practiced lines were thrown out by the time he saw her staring up at him on her doorstep.
She slowly nodded, and that was all the consolation he needed.