Lee sat and stared morosely out the window. The raindrops falling
woodenly outside seemed a perfect match for the heavy, sodden feeling
inside him.
His apartment seemed painfully empty without Amanda. It still wasn't real to him. The funeral had only been that morning. Now, he sat all alone in the room he and Amanda had shared as husband and wife.
Pain tore through him as he realized fully for the first time that she was gone. It had happened so suddenly. He had always thought that he would be the first to die. But now, he realized that he had never been able to picture Amanda as a frail, sick skeleton waiting for death. No, she would have wanted it this way-- quick, while she was in action.
In action. How many times over should he have died in action, only to have miraculously escaped, usually owing Amanda his life.
He should have been there. He should have been there for her like she had been there for him. He knew that there was nothing he could have done, yet he felt that he should have been there, if for nothing more than to die with her.
The picture of a young man flashed before him. It was the same young man who he had unknowingly opened the door to two days ago. Lee's ears rung with the life changing, heart breaking words that he had spoken to him as surely as if the boy stood before him now.
"Lee Stetson?" The boy had awkwardly asked. At Lee's affirmative nod, he had cleared his throat and continued, "I'm afraid I have some bad news..." Lee tossed his head to clear the thoughts from his mind. It was too much for him to stand.
"Amanda, my wonderful Amanda." Lee muttered and stumbled from the room like a drunken man.
He reeled into the living room, sobs wracking his body. He managed to make it to the sofa before his legs lost power, and he sat for a long moment, letting himself grieve openly for the first time.
Finally he managed to contain his tears, and he again turned his attention to the gray day outside. As his eyes took in the rain outside his window, a small picture sitting on the windowsill caught his attention, and he walked over and picked it up, holding it lovingly in his hands. It was his and Amanda's wedding picture, the only one they had. He smiled as he remembered that day, wrapping up a case and rushing to the justice of the peace. They had made it, just in time. He thought of there honeymoon in California.... Then Amanda had been shot.
Lee could still remember the way he'd felt, as if his heart had been ripped from his chest-- child's play next to the pain in his heart now.
Back then he could only think, "It wasn't enough time." He had only wanted a little longer, another moment with the love of his life....
Now he realized that a hundred years would not have been enough.
Amanda-- so full of life, so vibrant. It just wasn't fair! They had survived the agency together. They belonged together. Only now, he had been robbed of her by an auto accident. "Just one more day," Lee whispered, but he knew it was a lie. "No, a hundred years would not have been enough," he sighed, "Heaven knows, sixty-five years wasn't."
His apartment seemed painfully empty without Amanda. It still wasn't real to him. The funeral had only been that morning. Now, he sat all alone in the room he and Amanda had shared as husband and wife.
Pain tore through him as he realized fully for the first time that she was gone. It had happened so suddenly. He had always thought that he would be the first to die. But now, he realized that he had never been able to picture Amanda as a frail, sick skeleton waiting for death. No, she would have wanted it this way-- quick, while she was in action.
In action. How many times over should he have died in action, only to have miraculously escaped, usually owing Amanda his life.
He should have been there. He should have been there for her like she had been there for him. He knew that there was nothing he could have done, yet he felt that he should have been there, if for nothing more than to die with her.
The picture of a young man flashed before him. It was the same young man who he had unknowingly opened the door to two days ago. Lee's ears rung with the life changing, heart breaking words that he had spoken to him as surely as if the boy stood before him now.
"Lee Stetson?" The boy had awkwardly asked. At Lee's affirmative nod, he had cleared his throat and continued, "I'm afraid I have some bad news..." Lee tossed his head to clear the thoughts from his mind. It was too much for him to stand.
"Amanda, my wonderful Amanda." Lee muttered and stumbled from the room like a drunken man.
He reeled into the living room, sobs wracking his body. He managed to make it to the sofa before his legs lost power, and he sat for a long moment, letting himself grieve openly for the first time.
Finally he managed to contain his tears, and he again turned his attention to the gray day outside. As his eyes took in the rain outside his window, a small picture sitting on the windowsill caught his attention, and he walked over and picked it up, holding it lovingly in his hands. It was his and Amanda's wedding picture, the only one they had. He smiled as he remembered that day, wrapping up a case and rushing to the justice of the peace. They had made it, just in time. He thought of there honeymoon in California.... Then Amanda had been shot.
Lee could still remember the way he'd felt, as if his heart had been ripped from his chest-- child's play next to the pain in his heart now.
Back then he could only think, "It wasn't enough time." He had only wanted a little longer, another moment with the love of his life....
Now he realized that a hundred years would not have been enough.
Amanda-- so full of life, so vibrant. It just wasn't fair! They had survived the agency together. They belonged together. Only now, he had been robbed of her by an auto accident. "Just one more day," Lee whispered, but he knew it was a lie. "No, a hundred years would not have been enough," he sighed, "Heaven knows, sixty-five years wasn't."