Whip's Confirmation
He was alone again. Whip wandered outside in the darkness as this reality hit him. Of course he knew Kaniel Outis, the man he had been working in 21 Void with these past several years breaking people out of prisons, had a real name, a real family. Still the harsh reality of it was overwhelming for Whip.
Now he knew the man he had come to see as a brother was really a man named Michael, who already had numerous friends, a beautiful wife, a son, and a real brother, Lincoln. This man, Michael, clearly did not need him anymore. Whip wondered if he was ever really needed at all. Was any of it real or was he just part of the con they had been running, nothing more? He was still trying to process this new information and Michael nearly dying when Lincoln had to open his big mouth.
He knew Lincoln was trying to be nice when he said "You've been through what we've been through. You're family now.", but Whip saw the pity in his eyes. It gave him flashbacks to his childhood when the social workers would do welfare checks on him and that same pity would show in their eyes. Whip could read their minds "that poor boy with a neglectful mother and no father, how sad". He couldn't take their looks back then so he became increasingly more violent and saw that pity turn to fear and eventually they stopped coming around all together.
When he saw the pity in Lincoln's eyes he felt the rage wash over him as images of him stabbing Lincoln raced through his mind. As a way to quell these violent images Whip had offered they have a drink together before, bottle in hand, he escaped outside. Whip had wanted to kill Lincoln, to shut him up, to stop the look of pity he saw on Lincoln's face, but Whip knew that would hurt Michael. Despite what he felt was Michael's abandonment Whip was still loyal. He had displayed more loyalty than Michael's real brother. It was Whip who had wanted to stay with Michael back in the desert while Lincoln left without question almost getting Michael killed and later it was Whip not Lincoln that had dressed Michael's wounds and sat at his bedside. That made it even more painful knowing Lincoln had replaced him at Michael's side.
Whip ducked behind a building and sat down in the dirt resting his back against a brick wall. Whip hoped Lincoln wouldn't follow him. He didn't know if he could control his rage anymore in the face of Lincoln's platitudes. Whip had hoped the fresh air would calm him, but his mind would not be quiet. Why shouldn't he just stab Lincoln? So what if it would hurt Michael? Michael was nothing to him now. He had been alone most of his life. He could take care of himself. He did not need anybody. "You don't need anybody" he softly repeated to himself. Still a tear fell down his face as his mind would not stop replaying the past seven years of his life. When Michael rescued him he hadn't just given Whip a job, but a purpose, a sense of family. Michael had given him a new name and a new life. Now that was over. He was no longer Whip, but just David again.
"Fuck you Michael!" David shouted out as a sudden bout of self hatred overcame him. He crammed the palms of his hands against his eyes to stop more tears from falling. Why had he let his guard down?! Why had he come to rely on Michael? Why would he think this relationship would end any differently than the others? He was meant to be alone.
David took another swig from the bottle and slammed his head back against the building's brick exterior. Over and over again he slammed the back of his head into the wall. Anything to stop these thoughts. David started to get light headed as he could feel the blood on his scalp and the pain radiate through out his skull. He welcomed the physical pain. It was easier to deal with than this emotional wreck Michael left him. He was stronger than this. He was a survivor. David went back once again to hit his head on the bricks, but this time he felt nothing. At first he thought he had knocked himself out and was dreaming, but then he could feel someone's hand cupping the back of his head, fingers laced protectively through his hair preventing any more damage being done.
He was confused how someone could get so close to him without him knowing. In all his years in prison no one had gotten the jump on him. If someone had gotten this close to him back there without his knowledge David knew he would be dead. He should be panicking now, but there was something familiar about this person that put him at momentary ease or maybe it was too many blows to the head. Then he heard it. "Whip."
Whip fluttered his eyes opened and looked straight into Michael's, his steel blue eyes and forehead scrunched in confusion. Whip had never seen Michael confused before. His wild eyes stared at Michael who was kneeling next to him still gently holding the back of his head. Whip tried to calm himself, tried to slow his rapid breathing, tried not to appear as if he was completely falling apart, but it was no use when Michael spoke again.
"Whip what is going on? What are you doing to yourself? Please stop." Michael implored. Whip was caught of guard by this. Few people had ever bothered to ask him these questions and if they did Whip had found they always had an ulterior motive. The social workers and police may have asked, but they hadn't really cared. They just wanted him to shut up and be compliant to make their jobs easier. Whip wanted to tell Michael the same thing he told them, "Fuck off and leave me alone. I'll do whatever I want.", but he saw the genuine concern in Michael's eyes and Whip was unable to speak. He sat there staring, mouth agape for a second then felt a lump form in his throat and tears form in his eyes. Unable to control himself, Whip quickly buried his face in his arms, wrapped his hands over the top of his head and sobbed.
Michael was unsure of what to do. Whip was such a strong person. That's why Michael had hand picked him to help complete his missions. He had never seen Whip falter; freak out, moments of doubt, or get angry for sure, but even in the worst of times Whip never displayed such anguish . Michael settled on stroking the curls on the back of Whip's head and gently prodded him to speak, "Whip, you have to tell me what is wrong so I can fix this. Are you hurt?"
Whip had hoped Michael would just leave. He really didn't want to talk, but Michael persisted. As if reading his mind, Michael said "I'm not leaving you like this so you might as well talk." The mixture of Michael's authoritative voice and soothing touch on his scalp eventually broke down Whip's defenses.
Defeated, Whip took a deep breath and began to talk, "Everything was a lie. You don't need me at all. You have a real brother and a real family. You just used me like Poseidon used you." Before he could continue Michael wrapped his hands around Whip's wrists and gently pulled his arms down away from his face and spoke, "Whip I need you to look at me. I need to see your eyes and you need to see mine so you know what I'm about to say is the truth."
"I picked you to help me and I knew the moment we met I chose the right person. You have been my family when I had none. You and I share experiences that Lincoln will never understand. You are my whip hand." Michael explained with conviction. "Yeah, okay" Whip reluctantly agreed.
However Whip would not look at Michael when he spoke and his voice was quiet and flat. Michael got the sense Whip was just agreeing out of loyalty and not because he actually believed a word he said so Michael continued "I know I haven't always been completely honest to you with my words, but my actions have always been true to you, yes? Let me show you Whip."
The younger man looked up with a doubting stare. Michael pulled a small knife out of his pocket, opened his fist and made an inch long cut on his right palm. Quickly Michael grabbed Whip's hand and before he could process what was happening Michael made the same small cut on his palm.
"Ow! What the hell Michael? This is your way to make me feel better?" Whip yelled completely confused. Michael just smirked as he smashed his and Whip's bloody hands together interlocking their fingers. "Now we are officially blood brothers for life.." Michael declared maintaining eye contact with Whip.
"That's ridiculous. This doesn't mean anything." Whip said shaking his head. Even as protested he could feel his emotions getting the better of him again. Michael just stared earnestly and kept their hands interlocked. Finally giving in, Whip whispered with tears rolling down his face "Okay, brothers for life."
Michael let go of Whip's hand and pulled him in close, holding Whip tight in his arms. Kissing the top of Whip's head Michael said "I always wanted a little brother."