Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, it's characters, or any of that jazz. I wish - like most fans wish for a person - that I owned Cloud, or at least, y'know, knew him, but I don't.

Warning: There will be shounen-ai! If you don't know what it is... I suggest you ask someone or something. If you don't like that sort of thing, I'd stop reading. Well, not that this chapter has anything in it, but... I'm giving you a warning! There. I said it.

So this is what I've been doing instead of writing the fourth chapter of 'Mindless'. Yes, I'm lazy. Do I care? Not really. This was kind of random and, though not humor, pretty funny when I wrote it. Just because I had my friend reading what I was writing over my shoulder and going, "ZOMG, that's wrong!" Yeah. She made writing this funny. I'm sorry about how little dialogue there is in the beginning. I'm trying to improve on description and this is kind of a practice run. Yell at me if you don't like it. Also, this chapters slightly shorter than most of the chapters I've done before. I think! I have no idea.

I will continue 'Mindless' for those of you who read it and are reading this. I think you'd be crazy to, but... that's just me. XD Anyway, on with the show!

Dreams of a Lost Soul

Chapter 1: Finishing As You Start

1

Shinra. Nibelheim. Jenova. Sephiroth. Midgar. AVALANCHE. SOLDIER. Ancients. These words, and many more, came to Cloud's mind at all times of the day or night. He'd been wondering where he was for a while when he woke up, lying in a hospital bed. He was informed by a few people in white that he was in Mideel, the town where the lifestream broke through the surface of the earth. At first he wasn't aware of who he was either. He didn't remember anything from when he was younger or from just a couple days ago. All he could remember was what had happened from when he woke up. However, he did, now, remember his name along with three of the words listed above that he was constantly thinking about.

Shinra. A leading organization in the world of Gaia. It had previously controlled the whole entire planet with its mako reactors. However, a year or so prior it had fallen during a battle between the people, the planet, and some monster. Now it held little place in everyone else's mind. This information had been obtained from a newspaper. Nibelheim had been the next word to come to him. It was where he was born. A lot of things - major - things had happened there. He just couldn't remember what. Sephiroth was the most recent thing to come to mind. His hero. That's all he could remember. He knew there were many other important things he should actually remember, but none of it was coming to him.

Everything - or mostly everything - he had remembered came from multiple dreams he'd had. They were broken up and he could never get too much from them. Especially seeing as he currently forgot a lot about them. His dreams, that is. He'd been in the same place for about a week, trying to figure out where he was, why he was there, and who knew him. The first two questions had been answered shortly after he had woken up. He was in a quaint town called Mideel. He was healing from wounds and that's why he was in the town. The doctors obviously knew who he was. The kept going on about companions that would come back in a little while for him. However, he had no idea what the doctors were taking about and once they realized this, they panicked. Though they wouldn't tell him why.

He sat in his bed, not really knowing what to do with himself. He knew that he would have to leave Mideel soon. He didn't have the money to pay for the apartment he was staying in. He didn't have a job either. The doctors had told him not to bother seeing as he was supposed to be gone already. Who would be picking him up, though? Would he remember them why he saw them? Probably not ... It was going to be very awkward leaving with them, then. They'd know him and probably start ranting and he wouldn't even know what they were really talking about, just as the doctors had done. The only good company he'd had all week was a little girl that lived in the apartment just down the hall from. She and her dog were so adorable.

He stared at the room around him, just as he'd done millions of times before. It was the same blue and white pattern that had been there all week. The stripes were starting to make him insane, though he couldn't really tell why. Maybe it was the fact that they were so perfect and he wasn't. The wall was a whole being, but he was broken. He wasn't really sure. The dark blue carpet didn't even really match the wall. He wondered what the designer was thinking as he put the carpet in... The walls were a lighter blue (sky blue) while the carpet was a dark, almost black, blue. Sure, all blues should go together, but Cloud was against the combination. Though it made him feel better about his own imperfections.

The furniture in the place was the same light blue as the wall. He was constantly wondering where they'd found such light colored chairs in blue. He knew it was possible with tan chairs and maybe even white, but blue. That was something he hadn't seen before. The kitchen was the same color as the living room, all the appliances obviously having been painted to match. The town had a weird sense of decoration. Even the handles on the silverware were that same light blue color. He was slightly creeped out, while at the same time amused. Why would they want to take so much time to worry about something like that? They could've just left the handles black or whatever their original color was.

The bedroom was his favorite place in the whole entire house. The walls were painted a dark blue to match the carpet and the bed spread. It managed to stay dark, even in the middle of the day. That's where he got a lot of his thinking done. Though that hardly took up much of his day. He spent most of it sleeping, trying to get more and more from his dreams. It made his sleeping pattern irregular and whenever he wanted to go out and buy food, he always just barely made it before the store closed. The doctors came daily to see what his progress was, but he never really told them much. He just sat there and thought about them. How they wouldn't tell him about his past and everything else. What was so wrong with being told what had happened? He'd asked them once, fed up with their beating around the bush and pressing him for answers. Their only response had been 'it's too complicated'.

They hadn't shown up yet today, and he wasn't about to wait for them either. There was something that was trying to break through his subconscious, but it couldn't. He'd have to sleep to figure out what it was. It could just be something he'd already seen, but that didn't matter. So long as it led to him finding out something then he was happy. Pounding memories into his head wasn't a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. Therefore, he let himself drift to sleep for the fourth or fifth time that day. Little did he know he'd be out much longer this time around.

2

The dream started not too long after his eyes were closed. It was different from any other one he'd had before. It wasn't broken and he hardly recognized himself. He was too small to really know that it was him he was looking at. He had to be around five or six, sitting in front of the old television that he and his mother owned. His father was already dead, there was a picture of him on the mantle. A picture he some how knew his mother was constantly crying over. Just like he some how knew his father was dead and had died from some illness. He wasn't sure of too much more than that, though.

The picture was faded, but he could tell who it was that he was staring at in an instant. Sephiroth. The great hero of the Wutai war. He was in his mid-teen years and just starting out in the war, but Cloud already knew he was something special. Anyone with eyes that shown as brightly as his and hair as long as his had to be something special. He didn't know too many men with long hair. Then again, at six years old and living in Nibelheim, he didn't know too many men at all. But this was Sephiroth. The greatest man alive. At least to him. Without a father figure, he clung to anything he could. What better way to learn to become a man than watch someone who was on TV? Sephiroth was important, obviously, because he was on there. He was stronger than the rest. At such a young age, he led everyone in SOLDIER. SOLDIER was the group of elite military men that Shinra used to fight their wars and go on top secret missions. The idea both excited Cloud and scared him. He wasn't the bravest person there was in the world. Then again, what six-year-old was? Anyway, point being, Sephiroth was a hero to him. He was the best of the best and Cloud wanted to be that too.

His mother called to him from the kitchen, telling him to wash his hands and get ready for dinner. He did as he was told, sad to have to leave his idol alone, with no one watching. At such a young age, he didn't have any concept of how large the world actually was. It didn't occur to him that maybe, just maybe, there were millions of other people there to acknowledge his idols existence. No, to him, it was just him and Sephiroth. No one else in the world cared. He alone knew that Sephiroth was great, and in his world Sephiroth cared that he knew. It kept him amused during the day when no one else would pay attention to him. It was a great fantasy, having someone else care about what you thought other than your mother. After a while you started to realize that she was just saying things to make you feel good about yourself. Boost your self-esteem. That happy jazz.

Though he couldn't make out the picture from the table, he stared nonetheless. His mother didn't scold him either, she knew that Sephiroth was the only friend he had. Imaginary or not. Well, not quite imaginary, seeing as he was real, but in a sense. Cloud didn't actual know him and Sephiroth probably didn't care that he existed. However, she didn't have the heart to tell her son that his only "friend" didn't even spend one second of the day thinking about him.

The meal was eaten in silence, just like it normally was. They spoke so much during the day that they made sure that their meals were eaten in silence. It was sort of a time of silence to honor Cloud's father. Though a lot of people in town said he was just a week man that never amounted to anything. A lot of the children, and even some of the adults, said that he would turn out just like his "good for nothing father". He never stood up for himself. He didn't know how. Not yet. Silence was his best counter to everything. Especially seeing as if he stood there still and quiet enough, they would just figure he wasn't being bothered by it and move on. They'd leave him alone.

After he finished eating, Cloud went to the TV to check and see if Sephiroth was still there. He wasn't, nor was the news. It was some other sort of program that his mother was into. Slightly disappointed in missing the rest of it (he hadn't been allowed to turn up the volume due to the fact that it was an old TV and might break easily), he walked to his bed and flopped down. There wasn't really a divider between any of the rooms. He and his mother's bed were side by side and the TV was right across from his, though too far away to see. He could see his mother doing the dishes in the kitchen and would've offered to help, but he already knew the answer. She didn't want him cutting himself with a knife or anything. No, that would be real bad. The only thing that was closed off from the rest of the house was the bathroom. That was the only place that they needed privacy. His mother told him that they'd boughten the house because when he was little he would get into trouble and she needed to see him at all times. However, he had a little bit of knowledge about their state when it came to money and he knew that she just couldn't afford anything else. That didn't matter, though. He liked his house the way it was.

Cloud's dreams stopped momentarily, only to continue with a different seen a few years later. He was about ten and had strayed from the house for a little while. His mind had automatically filled in all the blanks that he needed to know. It somehow picked up on little details that he should remember in that moment of blackness. He had a crush on a girl, Tifa, who didn't even know he existed. It seemed sort of twisted to his adult mind, but to his childish mind it made perfect sense. She was harder to get and he had to work for her, so... The challenge was what attracted him. What kept him going. He wasn't really in love, he probably wouldn't love anyone for another few years, but she was the prettiest girl in town and hung out with all the other boys. Maybe someday she'd pay attention to him.

Once again, being a child he didn't understand that probably meant she was some sort of slut or whore. He didn't think of it at all. He knew that even if he did think of it, he probably wouldn't mention it to her, but hey... Whatever, right? She normally stood there as all the other boys made fun of him, just like their parents did. Sure, it wasn't all of the adults, but life in Nibelheim wasn't a life that he enjoyed. If he wandered away from the house, he made sure to wander far far away. Somewhere no one else would go to find him. Today, however, someone caught him before he could get too far.

He was just outside town, heading towards Mt. Nibel where the reactor was (he constantly went there, despite the dangers). He always hoped that maybe Sephiroth had to go on a mission there or something. He'd hit twenty and was a hero to the world, something Cloud had hoped wouldn't happen. That meant that he wasn't the only one who cared. That meant the one thing that was truly his had been taken away. Therefore, he wasn't as amazed by him as before, but he was still obsessed. Also, he understood that other people had TV's besides himself. They even had better TV's. A very devastating thing for a ten-year-old to find out.

Anyway, he was ambushed on his way to his favorite spot. Three of the boys from town decided that they didn't want him to make it there today. One of them had cut him off while the other two snuck up behind him and grabbed a hold of his arms. It wasn't a comfortable situation for him to be in. Not really. He was scared, because he'd never really been attacked before. He'd normally been teased until the got bored. He guess they just really wanted to do him in so they attacked. Or at least that's what he figured.

"Well, boys, lookie what we found," the boy in front of him said, sneering. "Trash. Maybe we should bring him to the dump where he belongs, eh?"

The other two boys laughed and nodded as Cloud shook with fright, "Yeah boss. We should compact him and throw him in the dump!"

"Good idea! Though, I dunno how well or how long he'll stay compacted, so we'll have to put him in a box or a bag. Did either one of you bring the bag?"

"I did," the boy on Cloud's right held up a bag with his free hand. It wasn't a regular trash bag, no, that would rip if he was put in there.

"Wait!" He cried out and tried to pull free. Why were they doing this to him? What had he done? "Why? I didn't do anything! I was just walking!"

They laughed again as he started to cry. Not a very manly thing to do. Sephiroth wouldn't do something like that. He was a real man. Cloud, however, had a lot of trouble being a real man seeing as none of the men in Nibelheim actually acted like one. They just acted like a bunch of assholes.

He found himself trapped in the bag within moments. He was worried because there were two was they could go. There was the gradual slope that headed back towards town where he would most likely roll until he hit the well. Or - and he was hoping they wouldn't chose this one - there was the cliff that they could just throw him off of and he could break a few bones on the way down. He didn't know which choice they had made until it was too late and by that time, he was plummeting down about thirty or forty feet. Hitting every rock and crag on the way down. Lucky him.

He was stuck in the bag and a lot of time passed (a lot faster than it probably did in the actual event) before he could actually get himself out. He was covered in cuts and bruises, but nothing was broken. That was typical. He hardly ever got really hurt, even though he thought he was going to die. It took him a couple more hours to climb back up the side of the cliff and he received a few more cuts and bruises.

Just as the sun started to set, he felt something tugging at him to wake up. Something he didn't want to do quite yet. However, it was one of the doctors and they forced him to open his eyes and explain exactly why he'd been screaming.

3

"Hello, Cloud," the doctor said, smiling at him.

"Hello," his voice had a monotone ring to it.

"Has there been any progress with your memories?" The doctor shifted, obviously uncomfortable with the way Cloud just stared at him.

"A little..." He continued staring, not shifting his gaze or blinking once. Intimidation was the way to go.

"What have you remembered?"

"...My mother, a little more about Sephiroth, and Nibelheim... I remembered more about Nibelheim."

"What specifically about Sephiroth and Nibelheim?"

"Just that Sephiroth was a great hero in the Wutai war and that I grew up in Nibelheim. Other than that, nothing."

"You haven't remembered the end of the war yet? Or beyond?"

"No, sir."

"Alright. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Have they come yet?"

"What?"

The doctor looked at him like he'd just asked the worst question in the world. Like he was the sickest person alive. Cloud didn't get it. He just wanted to know if those people were coming to pick him up yet.

"Those people you were talking about, have they showed up yet?"

"Oh! I didn't understand what you were asking me. We're not sure. There's a couple of people at the office, but we aren't sure of who they are yet."

"There was another way to view that question...?"

"No!" Then he calmed down. "No, there wasn't. I think that's all for today. I'll come back tomorrow."

The doctor left and Cloud stared after him. That was weird... Why had he freaked out about his question? He just mentioned 'they' and the guy flipped. Was there another 'they' that should be back? There was something wrong with the whole situation. However, he couldn't do anything about it at the time being. Right now, he would just have to wait and see if he could go back to sleep and remember anything. Just as his eyes were closing again, there was a knock at his door. The doctor had already left, so who was there now?

He got out of his bed and sighed. Who would be knocking at his door? He didn't know anyone in the village other than the doctors and he was just sick of them. Plus, why would they send two doctors one day? There was another knock and he felt himself twitch. Couldn't they just be patient? Another knock. Obviously not. That was wrong. He finally reached the door and opened it, confused at who he saw at the door. After all, he didn't recognize them.

"Ah, Vince, man, this is awkward. He's givin' me a funny look."

4

"The doctors told us you couldn't remember a thing," Vincent stood against the wall, arms folded and his gaze fixed on Cloud.

"I can't... Not much anyways. Just stuff from when I was little right now." Cloud was too busy watching Cid to notice that he was being stared at. After all, the man hadn't stop smoking since he got here. His pack of cigarettes was almost out.

"What cha lookin' at, Blondie?" Cid took another drag from his cigarette before standing up and walking into the kitchen. "Man, they did a sucky job of providin' for someone who's supposed to be sick. You hardly got nothin' in 'ere."

"I think you mean 'anything'..." Cloud stood up and started to shut all the cabinets Cid had opened.

"Well, that part about ya ain't changed... Things always gotta be shut." Cid frowned and ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"Cid, please... Now isn't the time to harass him." Vincent moved from his corner and stopped Cloud from shutting one of the cabinets. "Listen, we came here to get you. You'll have a lot more food, if that even matters to you, and maybe you'll remember things a little bit faster, if you come with us. It's up to you."

"Yeah, ain't no time for harassin'..." Cid grumbled and walked back into the living room, putting out his current cigarette and lighting another one.

Cloud stood there, staring at Vincent as he kept him from closing the cabinet. He didn't know whether to agree because it would get him out of this horrible situation he was in at the moment, or whether to be angry because he was being stopped from fixing his kitchen. He decided he had to think about both for a little while. Maybe a day or so. It would take away from his sleep time, however, to be traveling with these two. They made him nervous. Very, very nervous.

"I'll... have to think about it. Another day at least. If you want to stay here, the couch pulls out..." Cloud brushed Vincent's hand away from the cabinet and closed it. "However, it's getting late and I'm tired..."

"Ya've been sleepin' all afternoon! That's why we didn't come any earlier..." Cid looked over at them from the couch, frowning. "The doctor's say ya sleep all day an' night."

"You talk to the doctors too much..." Cloud left the two to themselves, running off to his room. He could feel another one of his dreams coming on and if he didn't catch it he'd miss the wave. He hoped this one had more to do with Sephiroth. He wanted to know more about his supposed idol. Well, it wasn't supposed anymore. His dreams proved that he absolutely adored the guy. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that he was gay for the guy. Cloud changed into his pajamas (okay, so he just stripped until he was in boxers) and crawled into bed, letting his eyes close slowly. Didn't want his mind to know how eager he was to actually dream.

/Chapter 1

A/N

Right! So there it is! I hoped you liked it even a little bit. I mostly started writing a Cloud fic because I read one not to long ago that the person actually wrote "If Cloud had more brains...". I was slightly annoyed and figured I'd let them know what was wrong with Cloud and that it wasn't stupidity. Or at least my outlook on what happened to Cloud seeing as we don't know!

Right, so I'll update stuff as soon as I can! Thanks! (And please review! It gives me confidence and a little self-esteem that I'm too cheap to buy at Rite-Aid. XDDD)