Disclaimer: there is no possible way, no way on the planet that I could ever own or have ever owned Buffy the Vampire Slayer – stop poking my wounds!
Author's Note: … I felt sorry for the poor bunny that I mutilated and proceeded to murder with my teeth, so I apologize to the unfortunate Easter candy with a drabble. Not actually Spander but close enough – enjoy.
Spike didn't want to smile, he really really didn't want to smile, it would completely ruin his reputation if he smiled right now. Xander was sitting on the floor of his pathetic kitchenette surrounded by the detritus of egg dye, reeking of vinegar and eating the Peeps Bunnies that Willow had so thoughtfully supplied, stuffing a marshmallow confection in his mouth here, turning an egg there, and humming the theme song from Charlie Brown – if Spike smiled now it would ruin him. He could mock, he supposed, but that would be tantamount to admitting he was watching, and that was just as bad. Not that there was anything else to watch he was tied to a hideously ugly barcalounger and the telly wasn't on, the situation didn't leave a lot of options for optical entertainment. Just as he was considering gnawing through his lip to see if it would bleed Xander let out a low and sad little moan and Spike snapped to attention, "What? What?"
"The bunny… I just tortured the bunny."
Spike rolled his eyes and wished someone would dust him "You can't torture candy."
"Says you! Haven't you ever eaten a gummy bear?" The boy wasn't entirely serious, but just sugared up enough to be hysterically believable as he nodded officiously, "You can torture anything with recognizable body parts. Poor bunny, I accidentally ripped his ear off and ate it right in front of him – normally I just bite the heads off so they don't have to watch the rest. It's more humane."
Spike raised an eyebrow and stared at him as he shoved another Peep head-first into his mouth and squished it with his teeth. The cruel and deliberate torture of sugar... well, he was bored after all… "Hand over the Peeps, mate."