She strutted down the sidewalk on a fine summer day, her full red lips a poutin', tight round hips a swayin', and big black boots a cloppin'. Everything was bouncing with each confident step, from the healthy shapely rear end clad inside hip-hugging shiny black leather pants to the locks of swirling fire red hair which rested on her bare shoulders. Her eye-popping bosom was nestled precariously inside a low cut white silken blouse. The impressive jugs were more cradled than covered by the somewhat sheer cloth, and they were seemingly threatening to pop out at any moment.

The irresistible head turner left behind a wide wake of considerable destruction, as rubber necking men crashed their cars into other cars, stalwart buildings, and unfortunate pedestrians. A knowing smile crossed her face as she kept her sparkling green eyes straight ahead and serenely ignored the chaotic symphony of screeching tires, wrenching metal, and breaking glass. Just another typical day in town for the one and only Miss Sarah Fortune.

She passed by a geriatric man standing crookedly off to the side. The wizened hunchbacked fellow was huddled over his cell phone and whispering in a hushed and embarrassed voice: "... so yeah, my thingaling doesn't work anymore, and I was wondering if you could prescribe some Viagra for me – WHOA MOMMA!" His eyes bulged at the sight of Miss Fortune walking by. They zeroed in on her swinging rear end as he hastily yelled into his phone before hanging up, "Never mind, it's working again!"

She overheard his conversation, of course, and she glanced back to shoot an amused and flirty wink at the old man. Kapow! The old man clutched his chest with a wheezing gasp, then dropped stone dead onto the ground. Bulls eye.

A young boy stood with jaw agape as he watched her approach, his half-eaten vanilla ice cream cone all but forgotten as it melted inside his sticky hands. As she walked by, she bestowed a big smile onto the boy and brushed a long slender forefinger against his chubby chin.

"Be careful, little man, you're making a mess of yourself!"

As soon as her finger touched his chin... kapow! The young boy's balls dropped with thunderous force, pubic hair sprouted within his trousers like an instant chia chia pet, and he experienced the daytime equivalent of a nocturnal emission.

The bewildered young man sagged to the ground as he watched her swinging rear end fade away in the distance, too discombobulated to even feel embarrassed about the mess he had made of himself. He never had a chance, anyway. Miss Fortune was the hottest ***** in all of Runeterra and, once in a while, she made damn sure to remind everyone of this irrefutable law of nature.

Hands on her hips as she swaggered to a halt at the doorway to the local Starbucks cafe, she smiled generously as a young male Starbucks patron hastily dashed over to open the entrance for her. What a nice fellow... and what a sorry sap. Just another foolishly grinning man bending over backwards so that she could better wrap him around her finger. The twenty three year old woman honestly could not remember the last time she had to open a door in public for herself. Five years ago? No, ten years seemed more likely, since it had to have been during the time period when she didn't have boobs yet. Once her figure started to fill out, pretty much all men answered her every beck and call.

She stepped into the cafe, and her plastic smile turned genuine at the background music. Big band swing. Her absolute favorite. The brassy and sassy song was currently in the middle of a heavy drum beat lull, and the booming of the drums was contagious. She began to wiggle her hips and wag a finger to the beat, humming under her breath as she scanned the interior of the cafe for a pair of familiar faces...

There they were, sequestered away in a back corner booth. Miss Fortune grinned and waved. "Yoo hoo, girls!"

The odd couple of Piltover police women, Caitlyn and Vi, excitedly waved back from their booth, and they stood up to greet their approaching girl friend. Caitlyn was the tallest of the trio and Sarah, a good-sized girl herself, had to lift off her toes a bit to exchange cheek kisses with the brunette. Caitlyn was in her usual purple get up, revealing those amazing legs that went on for days. Her legs were so long, in fact, when combined with her lengthy arms, it made for an almost gangly police babe. Almost.

Miss Fortune had known Caitlyn for quite a few years now, the brash bounty hunter and the intrepid town sheriff constantly exchanging information about Runeterra's most wanted miscreants. Sarah's fiery personality played well off Caitlyn's cool and calm, and they became close friends despite the sea waters that separated Bilgewater Island from the coastal city of Piltover. They became so close, as a matter of fact, that Sarah was quite sure that if she swung from the other side of the plate, she would have fallen for Caitlyn and those long legs ages ago.

As it were, though, someone else had fallen for The Legs of Piltover, and that was this other intriguing woman who called herself Vi. Sarah did not know her as well as Caitlyn, Vi having burst into the crimefighting scene a couple years ago as some sort of rehabilitation project of Caitlyn's. And although the two completely different women squabbled endlessly over the dumbest things, it only took Sarah one look at the arguing duo to realize that they were simply engaging in verbal foreplay.

A cute girl in her own right, Vi's most distinctive physical feature was her piercing steel blue eyes. When Caitlyn first confided with Sarah about her attraction to Vi, she could not stop raving about those eyes and how she just wanted to drown herself in them. It didn't hurt that Vi had a tight little body herself, although little was not quite the right word considering her somewhat Amazonian physique. Caitlyn especially liked Vi's giant muscled haunches, always taking the opportunity to smack Vi in the butt when no one else was looking.

Sarah and Vi exchanged kisses of greeting now. Smooch. Smooch. Vi was a very blunt and direct woman, never holding back in anything she did or said. Even her kisses were more forceful than Caitlyn's, her pink puckered lips tugging on Sarah's cheek like the suckers of a probing octopus arm. Sarah really liked her. She had a moral compass that never wavered, and Sarah could not imagine her doing anything ever to harm Cait. Granted, they did argue a lot on the job, but that was not all on the rambunctious Vi; Cait was a creature of habit that could be very rigid and particular about certain things. At least both of them were mature enough and secure enough to not take the arguments so personally. And besides, Caitlyn once told Sarah that she thought the *** was better after a heated argument. Hey, whatever floated their boat.

Love was always in the air above Caitlyn's funky hats and Vi's headbound goggles. But today, Sarah sensed something even more raw and intense. Vi was wearing a goofy ecstatic smile that Sarah had never seen before on the pink haired steam punk police woman; due to her rough childhood, Vi usually preferred to wear a hard exterior. Sarah oofed as Vi gently slammed her humongous gauntlets down onto Sarah's shoulders.

"Thanks so much for coming all the way from Bilgewater, Sarah! We wanted you to be the first to know before we told anyone else!"

"Hey, no problem. Anything for you two gals! Besides, I was already nearby busting some heads off the shores of Zaun, ya know..." Sarah looked back and forth between the two giddy women. "What's with you two? You look like you've overdosed on happy pills."

Caitlyn was trembling in excitement as she wrapped her left hand around the pinky of Vi's nearest gauntlet. "Sarah, Prince Jarvan sent me a communication last night that he is about to push through a law which legalizes same s3x marriage in Demacia!"

Miss Fortune's eyes flew open as she suddenly realized what this was all about. "He is? So, that means..."

"Yes! Yes!" Vi was jumping up and down in uncontrollable delight as she slammed a hole into the wall with her free gauntlet. "We're going to get married, Sarah! And we want you to be our best woman!"

"Oh my!" Sarah did not know why, but a sudden pang of sadness and loneliness shot through her heart even as she smiled in delight for her two friends. "But of course I'll be your best woman! Oh my god, this is so incredible, I can't believe Demacia is actually going to pass that law! I mean, I heard that there was a strong movement and all, but still... wow!"

Caitlyn eagerly nodded. "Well, there is much opposition, both public and political. However, Jarvan is confident that he has enough sway and friends within his court that the law will not be overturned once he officially signs it. Of course, we won't get any of the legal benefits or tax breaks here in Piltover since the marriage certificate only carries weight within Demacian borders, but still..."

Her grip on Vi's gauntlet pinky tightened, and the two love birds exchanged quick smiles and smooches. "You don't know how much this means to us, Sarah. Or maybe you do, but, I mean... sorry, I still can't believe this is actually happening! Finally our dream will come true!"

Sarah's sadness disappeared for the moment, because the sight of the pure unadulterated love between Cait and Vi was making her heart melt faster than that chubby boy's ice cream. She temporarily gained a gap closer as she sprung forward to seize them both inside a spontaneous bear hug. "Okay, that does it! Group hug! Group hug time for bride 1A and bride 1B!"

They all laughed as they formed an impromptu football huddle and squeezed each other within their arms. Sarah paused to frivolously wonder, "But wait, who will carry who over the threshold? Normally it's the man who carries the lady, but..."

"Hmmm." The other two girls also tilted their heads in thought. Vi then said, "Well, it's normally the man who gets handcuffed in the bedroom, right? I guess it'll be me carrying Cait then!"

Vi had not bothered to turn down the volume of her voice, as usual, and Caitlyn's face blotched a deep red as she hastily looked around. "Vi, hush! This is really not the place to mention such things!"

The damage was already done, however, as another old man keeled over while clutching his chest. Another semiconscious boy was lying on the floor with freshly dropped balls. A nearby young girl was asking her beet-red mother, "Mommy, why would a lady handcuff another lady inside a bedroom?"

Someone then screamed, "Oh my god, that poor old man, he's not waking back up! Is there a doctor in the house?"

"I'm a doctor!" Surgeon Shen suddenly swooped into the cafe, already wearing his scrubs and snapping a pair of latex gloves onto his hands. "Fear not, I will save him!"

The crowd parted like the Red Sea to allow Shen to kneel down by the old man and perform CPR. Sarah gazed in appreciation from their booth as she checked out the hunky ninja doctor's superior butt and huge forearms.

"Yoww! That Shen got himself a tight little behind, mmm mmm mmm!"

Caitlyn had no interest in men, but she did know a great butt when she saw one. "He is quite the dashing doctor, isn't he?" She nudged Sarah elbow to elbow. "You should go talk to him! You're not dating Ezreal anymore, right?"

"Mmm, he's cute, but I dunno if I'm interested in him." Miss Fortune sighed as she watched Shen place his mouth over the old man's mouth. "He's not a billionaire, you know."

"He's not a billionaire?" Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Sarah, he's a brain surgeon and one of the most popular champions in the League. I'm sure he makes plenty of money. Methinks your standards are a wee bit high."

"Pssht, says you! I can have any man I want! Why would I settle for anything less than the best?"

Vi interrupted, "Wait, you're not dating Ezreal anymore? That's so sad, you guys were dating for almost a year now! What happened?"

Sarah shrugged. "I found out he wasn't a billionaire. That's what happened."

The pink haired one pouted. "But you made such a cute couple... I guess you were the one who dropped him, huh?"

"Yeah, I did. I tried to lay him down as gently as I could, too. He was broken hearted of course, but he took it pretty well, all things considered. No shouting or name calling or anything like that. He knows how I roll, and he just doesn't make enough bank for the likes of me." The red head sighed. "He is a sweet cutie pie, but oh well. That's life."

The sheriff frowned at Sarah's waxing poetic. "I still think you're being way too picky about the men you date, Sarah. What was your list again? He has to be a champion of the League, between the age of 20 and 40, supermodel handsome, worth over a billion in total assets, and... you just added something else, recently, right?"

Sarah nodded. "And he also has to be the ruler of a nation." A pause, then she further clarified, "A big nation, too. Not just some little craphole territory."

Vi scratched her head with a gauntlet fingertip. "Wow, Sarah. You really are picky."

"I guess. While I was dating Ezreal, I realized that I wanted more in life, ya know? He was a sweet guy and a lot of fun in the sack, but... I dunno, he just wasn't Mr. Right for me."

Caitlyn said, "I think the only man who makes it onto your list is... Prince Jarvan?"

Sarah's eyes lit up at the mention of his name. "Oh yeah, dat J4 baby! Now we're talking! He is so perfect for me, don't you think? He's so tall, handsome, filthy rich, AND he's heir to the throne of Demacia! Now that, ladies, is my Mr. Right!"

"Uhh." Vi stared at the red head. "No offense, Sarah, but I don't know if you're being realistic here."

Sarah huffed in outrage. "Why? You don't think I can snag a man like him?"

"Well, no, I mean... I thought royalty only married royalty and stuff."

"Well, that's true." Sarah's face darkened as she recalled something upsetting from the past. "I once tried to introduce myself to Jarvan during a League get-together last year, and his mother totally started sniffing and looking down on me like the hoity-toity ***** she is! Jarvan had the hots for me, but that ice queen dragged him away while saying stuff about how he should not be consorting with commoners! Totally **** blocked me. Totally!"

Caitlyn wasn't sure if Sarah's recollection of those events were entirely accurate, but she let it slide. "Yes, I've heard that his mother is quite the ice queen. Don't take it personally, though. She has a reputation for thinking every woman out there is not good enough for her baby boy. It's not just you." The sheriff suddenly squealed and clapped her hands together. "Oh my god, speaking of baby boys! Sarah, we forgot to tell you the most important part of all this!"

Miss Fortune's jaw dropped at this revelation. "What? You're getting married! What could be more important than that!"

"Well, yes, that is very important to us, true! But Vi and I have been talking about this for quite the while now, and we've finally decided." Caitlyn was holding onto Vi's gauntlet pinky again. "We are going to adopt a child together!"

"WHAT?" Miss Fortune was on her hands and knees, picking up her jaw off the ground. Then she shot back up to her feet with a giant boob bounce. "You guys... holy ****! Are you sure you guys are ready for this?"

"We know it's a big responsibility, but we're ready," Vi said firmly. "We're ready to start a family."

"Look, it's great that you guys want to take the next step forward... and then some, I might add! However, both of you are working girls who work the strangest hours! Who is going to take care of the kid at home?"

"We've already cleaned out the room in between our offices," Caitlyn replied. "It's waiting with a cradle, toys, rattles, everything!"

"I painted the walls too," Vi added. "They're pink, of course."

It was Sarah's turn to be skeptical of her friends, but she could see that their minds were already made up. There was nothing she could say or do about it. Not that she had any doubt whether they had the best intentions at heart. It was just all so... fast.

Caitlyn was a very methodical person, however (Vi, not so much). This was surely a scenario which Cait had put a lot of thought into and thoroughly evaluated. If Cait believed they could do it, Sarah was confident the two could raise the happiest and healthiest baby in all of Piltover. She just hoped that Vi would take her gauntlets off before handling the child.

"Well, if any police couple can do it, you two can! Sister Sarah gives you her blessings." Sarah hugged her two friends again, then stepped back to fluff out her hair. "So, when are you going to adopt? Heck, when are you going to marry? Wow, you guys sure are moving along, aren't you?"

"We want to get married in the summer," Caitlyn said. "And we're going to put in an adoption application form the week after the ceremony."

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl," Vi said immediately. "A baby girl. And we are going to name her Audrey."

"Oh, I do hope she shows some inclination towards music," Caitlyn wished out loud. "My grandmother's piano is sitting in a corner of my living room and collecting dust... it is just begging for someone talented to come along and sit down and play..."

She kept nodding and smiling, but the normally glib and merry Miss Fortune was feeling it again. That sudden pang of loneliness and sadness surging through her famous chest. It was especially painful because, quite frankly, she was not used to this feeling. She was an abnormally confident woman (some might call her an egomaniac) with little in the ways of insecurities, and she almost never got down on herself. She didn't feel bad at all about the old men who dropped dead whenever they saw her. She didn't feel bad when she dropped Ezreal like a bad habit. Yes, she did miss her dear mother something fierce, but this new sensation of loneliness was different. It was driven by something other than grief...

Miss Fortune snapped out of it when Caitlyn's police radio started hissing from her belt. The sheriff held up a hand for silence as she clicked on the radio. "Caitlyn here, what is it?"

"We've got a break in at the fishing docks, Sheriff. Suspect is a young blue male approximately four and a half feet in height. He is naked and wielding a large trident. Repeat, he is wielding a large trident and is considered armed and extremely dangerous."

Caitlyn's brow scrunched at the description. "Wait, did you say he was... blue?"

"Yes, ma'am, he was described as blue with big floppy ears. He was last seen heading east while carrying a freshly caught sushi-grade tuna over his head."

"What the hell!" Vi exclaimed. "A blue kid? Carrying around a trident? What the heck is he talking about?"

"Oh my god," Miss Fortune groaned as she slapped her hands over her face. "I know who it is. Look, tell your men that the suspect is not dangerous. He's just a mischievous trouble maker, that's all."

The police women looked to Sarah in confusion. "You know him?"

"Yeah, this kid's been popping up in Bilgewater lately. He calls himself Fizz for whatever reason. Nobody knows where he came from or what race he is. He just runs around doing whatever he wants and stuff." She added, "He's not a bad kid, though. He just has no clue about human laws and society. If you tell him to stop doing something, he'll stop doing it."

Caitlyn nodded as she turned her radio mic back on. "Dispatch, I've got good intel which says that the suspect is not to be considered dangerous. Repeat, the suspect is not dangerous, and should be handled as such."

The radio crackled, "Roger that. Witnesses are reporting that he just broke into a candy factory down the street from your location, Sheriff. He is still carrying his trident but the tuna is no longer in sight. Witnesses now describe him as a little blue fish kid with a giant distended belly, so he has presumably already eaten the tuna."

"Sounds like his usual M.O." Sarah interjected. "Fizz eats everything that he can get his hands on."

"Well then. If he's just down the street from us..." Caitlyn tossed some tip money onto the table. "Let's see what this kerfuffle is all about, hmm?"

Ten minutes later, Sarah was alone, walking around the outer brick walls of a candy factory and feeling somewhat silly as she called out, "Fizz! Fizzzz! It's me, Miss Fortune! Remember me from Bilgewater? You can come out now!"

Caitlyn and Vi were inside the building and searching the factory itself. Cait wanted Sarah to search the surrounding area outside the factory, so here she was. Trudging on sandy dirt and gravel. Making a mess of her incredibly expensive designer boots. Damn it, she would have worn one of her less expensive pair of designer boots if she had known that she would be wandering around in a crappy pebbly lot littered with straggly bushes and weed clumps!

Fizz was not a dangerous character by any means, so Sarah let her mind wander as the soles of her feet crunched against the ground. More specifically, she pondered about why the heck she was suddenly feeling so lonely after finding out that Caitlyn and Vi were about to get hitched and have a kid.

Then she stopped in her tracks, as she realized that this new found loneliness was paving the way for another emotion that was even more foreign to her: jealousy.

Jealous? Her? The utterly peerless and most awesome babe in all of Runeterra? Miss Fortune never became jealous of anyone! It was supposed to be the other way around; people were supposed to be jealous of HER. SHE was the standard. SHE was the trendsetter. SHE was the *** icon. SHE was the hottest ***** in all of Runeterra.

And yet, here she was, standing alone in an abandoned lot with the wind whistling in her ears. Undeniably jealous of the fact that Caitlyn and Vi were settling down. In Sarah's warped mind, it was not so much the fact that they had found their significant other. It was the bigger picture she was jealous of. They were going to be a family, complete with a new kid on the way. Such a pretty perfect picture that would make for a marvelous family portrait.

Sarah knew that she could snooker any guy into giving her a ring. But nope, that was not the plan. Now that she had freed herself from Ezreal, she was saving herself for Prince Jarvan. She was a goal-oriented woman, and she had already set plans in motion to make herself seem much more favorable to her charming prince and his sordid ***** of a mother. It would take some time before Jarvan was hers, but she was a relatively patient woman and it was going to happen. Oh, it was so going to happen.

Besides, if she was going to pop out a kid, it would have to be for a really damn good reason. And Jarvan wanting a son to carry on his bloodline was reason enough, she supposed. But only one son, damn it. Her hips were already pretty damn big as they were. Jarvan's mother could go screw herself if she wanted Sarah to become some baby-making machine. She was NOT going to spend the rest of her life walking around with some gigantic unwieldy ass crammed inside a pair of momma pants.

But then again, it was dawning upon Sarah that the jealousy had not really started until Cait and Vi had told her about their adoption plans. So maybe, in a twisted sense, her maternal instincts were kicking in? Maybe she did want a kid, and she just did not know it yet? But... her hips! She loved her hips as they were! Sometimes she would just stand in front of a mirror, stare at her awesome ass for fifteen minutes or so, and thank the heavens that she had won the genetic lottery.

Oh, the dilemma. A cherubic child versus a splendid ass. Which to choose...

She awoke from her internal debate to the sound of a large burp. The burp was actually quite far away, it seemed. She just happened to be downwind and the rude sound carried well. It sounded like a juicy one, too. Thank god the wind hadn't carried the burp's odor to her as well.

Bounty hunter mode kicked in, and she headed straight towards the trajectory of the burp. In under a minute, she came upon a tell tale trail of half-eaten frosted chocolate cupcakes. She noted that Fizz had eaten only the actual cake part and left the frosted caps untouched. Apparently he didn't like frosting, which struck her as mildly odd. It was rare that he came across something that he didn't like the taste of.

She finally came upon a large clump of bushes, an ideal hiding spot where a little bugger could sit in peace and wolf down the sugary loot from his candy factory raid. She could not see him or hear him, but she knew he was in there somewhere. And she knew he had heard her approach, because the little amphibious bugger had very sharp hearing with those four floppy ears of his. Or maybe those things on his head weren't ears? Deep sea dwellers normally had ear holes, not ear lobes. Hmm.

Either way, Sarah opened her mouth so she could order him to get out of the bush. But Fizz's excited youthful voice beat her to the punch as it emanated from the bush: "Hey, it's Big Boob Lady!"

The little bugger himself popped out from the bush with a big happy grin and two opened bags of gummy worm in his hands. "Hi, Big Boob Lady, how you doing! Want some?" He extended one of the bags to her. "These worms taste awesome! I've never seen worms like these before!"

She both smiled and frowned as she placed her hands on her hips. "Now, now, Fizz. What did I tell you about going into strange buildings?"

Fizz's big smile froze as he realized that maybe he had done something really really bad. "Uh oh. Did I do something wrong again?"

"Yes, you did. I told you, you can't go into buildings without asking for permission!"

Fizz scratched one of his ears. "I don't get it. Last week, I thought you told me that I can walk into supermarkets whenever I want."

Sarah groaned as she tiredly rubbed her forehead. "Of course you can walk into a supermarket whenever you want. But I also told you that you can't just EAT whatever you want inside a supermarket."

"Ohhhh." The fish kid was visibly chagrined by his faulty memory, and he started to toe the dirt in front of him. "Sorry, I forgot about that part..." He looked at the bags of gummy worms in his hands. "Then I guess I shouldn't have taken these from the supermarket over there."

"That's not a supermarket! That's a candy factory!"

"Really? What's the difference? They're both big buildings with lots of food inside them."

"Oh my god." One minute with this kid, and Sarah felt like she had already aged ten years. "How did you even get here anyway? Piltover is a long ways away from Bilgewater!"

"I, uh..." He looked even more embarrassed now as his foot drew more lines in the dirt and played tic tac toe with itself. "I kinda sneaked onto your ship before you left Bilgewater."

"You stowed away on my ship? Why?"

"I dunno... most people at Bilgewater aren't very nice to me, but you're always nice to me... and I just wanted to see where you were going..."

Sarah could not stop sighing as she scrubbed her face with her hands in frustration. "Look, you're a nice kid and all, but... Fizz! You don't sneak onto people's ships without asking! Especially MY ship. Got it?"

"Ok... sorry..."

Fizz's huge liquid eyes were even more liquid now as he looked like he was about to cry. Sarah winced at the pitiful sight, regretting her harsh tone a little bit now. But god damn it, he was such a pain in the ass! He didn't mean any harm, of course, but he was just so freaking clueless! If someone could just take this little rascal under his wing and teach him about the ways of the human world -

An idea suddenly occurred to her. The best idea ever. No, this was more than just an idea. This was a revelation. Sarah was not a particularly religious person, but now she was sure of it. This was a divine gift from whatever deity or heavenly presence resided high above.

With a super warm and friendly smile, Sarah squatted down in front of Fizz and reached out to affectionately pat his big forehead. "It's okay, Fizz, everyone makes mistakes. You just happen to make a lot of them, that's all! I forgive you."

Fizz looked up from his feet with a hopeful face. "Really? It's ok?"

"Of course it's ok!" Sarah then lightly coughed. "So, um, Fizz, I was wondering... where is your mom?"

"Uhhh." Fizz sadly hung his head again. "I dunno where she went. She vanished along with my home city a couple years ago... I really miss her..."

"Oh, that's too bad, I'm so sorry to hear that!" A half-truth on Sarah's part as she quickly closed in on her quarry. "Say, Fizz, I have a great idea. Why don't you come live with me for a while?"

"Huh? Really?" Fizz's eyes lit up. "Can I really live with you?"

"Of course! You're a good kid, you just need someone who can teach you the ways of this crazy human world, that's all! Someone who will show you the ropes!"

"Wow, that would be AWESOME! Big Boob Lady, you really are the nicest person ever!"

"Oh, and about that. Don't call me Big Boob Lady anymore. It's an apt description, I suppose, but it's not really how humans address each other."

"Okay! What should I call you then, Big Boob Lady?"

Miss Fortune thought for a moment, then grinned wide. "Call me Mama Fortune from now on, okay?"

"Okay, Mama Fortune!" Fizz then spied something wriggling off in the distance, and he pounced upon it. A moment later, he held up a giant fuzzy wriggling caterpillar for Mama Fortune to recoil from. "Hey, look what I found! I wonder if it tastes like the worms in those bags!"

Her immaculately manicured hand smacked the caterpillar out of his light grip before he could put the larva in his mouth. "Rule number one, Fizz. Mama Fortune says that you should stop eating weird things off the ground."

Fizz watched the caterpillar inch away. "Oh. Okay."

She then held out her hand for him to latch onto. "Come on. I want you to meet a couple nice lady friends of mine."

Fizz grabbed onto her fingers and started to swing their hands back and forth. "Cool! I like making friends! Do they have anything I can eat?"

"I don't think they do, but it's ok, I'll get you something at the supermarket later."

And so they headed back to the candy factory together. A little fish kid and Sarah Fortune, the Bounty Hunter Babe of Bilgewater, the scourge of pirates everywhere, the quintessential bottom lane bully of the League, and now... hopefully a single mom.

The adoption paperwork was going to be a *****, but hey. Worth it.

END OF CHAPTER

Notes: Hi all, I decided to start writing this whimsical story because, well, I dunno, I felt like it. Deep reason, I know. MF is one of my fave champs, and so is Fizz. Fizz's laugh in-game, btw, is one of the trolliest laughs ever. Good stuff.