If You Had A Heart, I Would Steal It
I prithee send me back my heart,
Since I cannot have thine;
For if from yours you will not part,
Why, then, shouldst thou have mine?
Bellatrix LeStrange felt her husband's warmth against her own and sighed deeply; it was not the same spending every night with the man you were married-and obligated to, as it was spending the night with a man you truly desired. Bellatrix had spent a wonderful week with her sister's husband; she had always desired him, oh yes! He was stunningly handsome, successful and was a fantastic lover. Sighing, Bellatrix rolled over and tried to remember the exact noise Lucius had made as she'd ran her sharp nails down his pale back.
Rodolphus was a fantastic choice of man; his blood was purer than a mountain spring, he was a loyal supporter of the Dark Lord and he emanated success with every breath-but he bored her. He was not taught-skinned and muscle-bound like Lucius. He did not drive her wild- just mildly free, and he seemed to have little time for her these days. Lucius had come to her willingly. She had always been the more attractive one of the two sisters; with her raven-black hair, pale skin and her clothes that highlighted her perfect figure, she was the object of every Death Eater's desire. Not that she gave many of them the time of day; Crabbe and Goyle were as ugly as pair of gargoyles and twice as stupid, Travers and Yaxley seemed to only have eyes for each other, Mulciber, Avery and Rookwood all proclaimed to be 'happily married' and the rest were inconsequential to Bellatrix. Bellatrix desired only two of her fellow Death Eaters; Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy.
"Lucius, what brings you here?" she asked one night, sitting in her leather armchair.
"I am worried about Cissy. Do you know where she is?" he asked, anxiously.
"Lucius, I am not my sister's keeper. I am sure she will return in good time" she replied, disinterested.
"I think she's cheating on me!" blurted out Lucius. Bellatrix laughed without humour.
"What....with whom?" she asked.
"Dolohov. She seems so taken with him and he's always sniffing around her!" said Lucius, angrily. Bellatrix closed her eyes momentarily, knowing just how to play it.
"Why would she cheat on you? You're very handsome" she said, trying to sound casual.
"I am not the Dark Lord's favourite anymore, and I'm not as young as you used to be" he reasoned, sitting down in a nearby chair.
"You're like wine, Lucius, you get better with age" she purred, approaching him.
"Could I intoxicate you like wine could?" he asked, reaching a hand to her waist.
"Far more than any wine, Lucius, I'm sure. Why don't we find out?" she said, silkily. Lucius coughed in embarrassment.
"We're both married! I'm married to your sister" he said ruefully, as if resisting was causing him physical pain.
"A woman who has never appreciated you!" she retorted, sharply.
"What about Rodolphus?" he asked, forcefully.
"He does not appreciate me. He cannot give me what you can" she replied.
"Which is what?" he asked.
"Tonight" she replied simply, and began kissing him slowly. She ran her fingers through his long, blonde hair and sat astride him. His hands went to her waist and he held her closer, wanting to consume her like fire.
"Hands down!" she commanded, pulling his hands away from her top half.
"Let me do the honours" he protested, unlacing her corset.
"I said OFF, do I have to use the imperius curse on you?" she asked, reaching up his thigh for his wand.
"That isn't necessary, I'll do whatever you say" he said, breathing hard.
"Good boy....go to my room!" she commanded. Lucius disapparated upstairs and lay on the bed, waiting for her. She took out her wand and tied his hands behind his back with it. Already topless, he breathed harder as she ran a finger down his chest; she removed her corset and underwear and sat astride him once more. She ran her fingers down his back and smiled as he let out a sigh of satisfaction. After that night, Bellatrix could think of little else. When Lucius was sent away on the Dark Lord's orders, she yearned to see him, to touch him.
"Earth to Bellatrix, are you receiving us?" asked Severus Snape, waving a pale hand in front of her face as she sat looking dazed.
"What....oh I'm sorry....my mind was elsewhere" she said, giving herself a small shake.
"Clearly, what were you daydreaming about?" he asked her, quizzically.
"Nothing I could tell you about" she replied, a small smirk crossing her face.
"I do hope Lucius is OK", sighed Snape.
"What.....why.....what's happened?" she asked.
"He has been gone longer than he should have......he should have been back last night" replied Snape.
"Oh....I hope he's OK" she said, faintly.
"Bellatrix, you're not too concerned are you?" he asked, softly.
"No....of course not....why would I be?" she asked, defensively.
"He's family" said Snape, touching her arm, reassuringly. Suddenly, without warning, Bellatrix began to cry. Alarmed that she was capable of any such emotion, Severus jumped up quickly.
"What is it, Bellatrix? What's wrong?" he asked.
"Severus....would you say I'm beautiful?" she asked, tears running down her face.
"Only if I knew Rodolphus was out of the country!" he joked.
"But, really, am I?" she asked.
"Yes, you are" he replied, truthfully.
"Then why doesn't he want me? Why can't he bear it when I touch him? Why can't he love me?" she asked, sadly. Thinking she was referring to her husband, Snape lifted her chin in his hand and said gently
"Because he's a fool, who can't see what he's got" he replied.
"He's not a fool....he's....I'm HIS...I'm", she stammered, crying again. Snape touched her gently.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, softly.
"Stay with me tonight, Severus", she replied, taking him by the hand. Snape followed her upstairs and stayed all night beside her.
"Sleep well?" he asked the next morning.
"You tell me", she grinned, slapping his bottom.
"That was really something.....last night", he said.
"Yes it was......I haven't felt so intimate with anyone in a while", she admitted, kissing him slowly. She took his bottom lip between her teeth and tugged gently. Suddenly, her mark began to burn, and she saw-from the look on his face- Snape's had, too.
"My Lord, you summoned us?" she asked, bowing low.
"I wish to discuss something with you....alone" he said to Bellatrix.
"Yes my Lord?" she asked, when Snape had gone.
"Is working your way through my male death eaters your idea of making progress?" he hissed.
"No....my lord.....I am working on the assignment you gave to me but...." she said, anxiously.
"But what, Bellatrix? You cannot go a night without quenching your human desires?" he asked.
"No...My Lord....it is not what you think, I...."
"I thought more of you than that, Bellatrix. I thought human desires came after your loyalty to me" he said.
"And what loyalty have you shown ME?" she retorted.
"Excuse me?" he asked, surprisingly calm.
"It doesn't have to be this way, my lord. You know how I feel about you....how I desire you" she mumbled.
"I do, Bellatrix. I have my own human desires to attend to at times, and you are more than welcome to quench them..." he said, grinning.
"It is not enough, my lord" she replied.
"Lord Voldemort is not enough for you?" he asked, angrily.
"I do not only desire you, my lord....I love you" she confessed.
"Love is for fools" he said, dismissively.
"You do not have to make everything about manipulation and revenge, my lord. It is OK to feel true love, to care about someone, to spend the night with someone because you desire their company and not just their body" she said. Voldemort laughed.
"Have you gone soft, Bellatrix? Submitted to the follies of muggles and mudbloods?" he taunted.
"Please, my lord. I am in love with you. I know somewhere there is a part of you that feels the same" she pleaded
"I do not FEEL, I do not LOVE and I do not care for anymore talk like this. Leave" he commanded. Bellatrix nodded and disapparated. Back at home, Severus sat waiting for her.
"You love him?" he asked, softly.
"Yes, but I know it's in vain" she said, glumly.
"It is impossible to love someone who does not have a heart" he agreed. Bellatrix saw it; in his words, in his face, in his smile. Snape had a heart and Bellatrix wanted it.