I seem to be having those dreams again...The ones in which you come to save me.
From this life I've so come to detest...your face is the only beacon of light...beckoning me towards the end of this dark tunnel. The beginning of these dreams always terrifies me, as I never know what to expect. You always keep me waiting until the very last second. Have me think I'll be facing the rest on my own. But I know you...Know you'd never-

"Liiiiiiight." My head snaps up as I hear mother calling me outside of my door. I could have sworn there we're hours left for me before night. I curse lightly under my breath. A lady should know better than to do such things....But I am no lady! Everything mother says has clearly gone straight to my head. I am tired of being treated as a woman. Being born a male with feminine features certainly doesn't help me though.

I sigh softly and hastily pick up my notebook, cramming it underneath my pillow. After I'm certain that it's out of plain sight. I clear my throat and mentally prepare myself for what's to come. "Come in, Mother."
Not a second passes and my door is flung wide open. Allowing my mother to waltz right on in and over to my bedside. "Oh Light. Why haven't you gotten dressed yet?" Gotten dressed? What on earth is she-...of course! That damn ball. But...I could have sworn the date was not for another week. There I go with my curses again. Where did I pick up such foul language?

"Mother. If you had not barged in as you did. You would see that I am clearly-" Her eyes dart down to my bed sheets where I've left my pencil out." Wasting your time. "She lets out an over-exaggerated sigh." I thought you agreed there would be no more writing. "Smart enough to hide the notebook. But not smart enough to hide the pencil. Just wonderful

I sigh so softly, it's barely audible. Raising my head to make eye contact with her. "Mother. Please, be reasonable." A quick dismissal with a flick of her wrist, she spins on her heel to look down at me with that motherly disappointment. "Enough, Light. I only asked you for this one night. Well...I asked you to quit writing as well, but." She turns away as she continues her rambling. "That is beside the point. I insist you march over to your closet and get dressed this very instant."

I release another sigh. Will I ever stop? "Mother, I do not truly wish too-"
She spins back around quickly, giving me a short glare. "You shall NOT."
A pause, as she leans in to show she means what she says. "Ruin your chances with Lord Lawliet. You are quite lucky to have him take any interest in you at all."

Ah...There it was. Like having a bucket of freezing water splashed in my face. The truth. Our family had been put deep in debt; due to My Father's...I'll use the word gambling. It was constant and cost My Little Sister, Mother, and I. A few of our belongings, furniture, pets, and most importantly...Our dignity.

Because of this, our family quickly became well known. But not for the reasons we had hoped we would someday. A few months after everything began. I turned sixteen and Mother considered me of marrying age. Many things had made it quite clear that I did not fancy women. So she began trying to find male suitors for me.

After only a few days of announcing this. Men of many different ages began appearing on our door step. Clearly most of these men had been trying to conceal their sexuality. For upon arrival, would pretend as if they had come for another reason. Their attempts we're always futile, as mother would rush them in and practically throw them up the stairs to meet me.

Sadly...I did not like any of them. Most of them wished for my body and the rest we're more than dull. Mother constantly reminds me now that it is "Not what you want, Light. You don't have to love a man to marry him. He just needs to be wealthy so you can support your family."

But...as much as I knew I needed to help my family. I did not want to live with someone whom I would come to hate or never find love with.

Then, just a week ago, Mother introduced me to Lord Lawliet. He was quite handsome, charming, and kind. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to give another man a try, but...He quickly convinced me too see him again.

Now...back to my current situation.

"Gather yourself and march into that closet this instant. I want you dressed and presentable. He shall arrive in a matter of moments." I blink once in surprise as she says this. "Moments?" I ask aloud quietly. She turns back to me with an exhausted look. "Yes, moments. Now go." A shake of the head and I'm up, heading into my closet to rummage through what little I have left....Women's clothing, everywhere I look. I've been refused suitable male clothing since the day Mother discovered I preferred men. I can still hear her words ringing in my head. "If you wish to love a man like a woman. Then you shall wear dresses and corsets like a woman."

Absolutely ridiculous. I cannot stand either of those things. I close my eyes, as my fingers trail over different colors and fabrics. Teal, Amber, Beige, Brass, Charcoal, Coral Pink, French Lilac, and Iris. I still them as I test each of the fabrics. Most are made of cotton, but just a small few are of silk.

I weigh my options for just a moment, and then snatch the charcoal one off of its hanger. The neckline is sweet heart, turning up and out onto the long form fitting sleeves.
The dress itself is rather slim, going down my waist and puffing out like a marshmallow under a flame near my hips. Intricate wavy lines adorn the top of the dress and the lace at the bottom. It is simple. But, apparently it is Mother's favorite on me.

Hastily I remove my pajama top, getting my arm caught in one of the sleeves. I make irritated grunting sounds as it eventually pops free and I'm able to toss it somewhere carelessly. Next, I remove my pants. Having no trouble with them whatsoever. Eyeing the dress for a moment I start to debate on whether or not I've made the correct choice.

"Light! He's here! He's here! Get down here!" Clearly, there's no time. I pick the fluffiest part of the dress up, sliding it over my head. Thank God it still fits me. My hands dart behind my back, doing their best to tie the bow there. Struggling, my fingers begin to fumble nervously. Oh damn. Why now? I close my eyes and with some luck, the bow is tied. I pull my fingers through and quickly push open the closet door, sliding on a pair of small French black heels that I happened to have off to the side on my way out. Pulling my dress up so I can walk, I hurriedly fly out my door and down the long winding stairway to the main entrance and our front door.

There...Standing in the doorway...Was Lord Lawliet. I had not ever seen a more perfect looking gentleman.
His hair had been combed back, but it hardly helped any. His hair was so wild it fluffed out around his face, letting shaggy black bangs fall over one of his eyes.
Beautiful onyx eyes, might I add. That seemed to smile all on their own.

I found myself absolutely mesmerized by him. He stood straight, black wood crafted cane held lightly in his hand.
His other hand moving up to adjust the snow white ruffles that adorned the front of his shirt so elegantly.
The entire outfit was nicely put together. Black jacket, white shirt that the ruffles fell from and casual black pants.
Finished off by a pair of black shoes that seemed to have been meticulously shined for hours.

I felt my mouth start to hang open slightly in awe. This was so very different from when we first had met.
He made himself look so common then...so...very unlike now...

As I make my way down the stairs, I see his head turn. His eyes instantly locking with mine. A soft smile and I hear a gentle "My Lady."
Followed by a low, playful chuckle.

I feel my cheeks flush. The rest of my body heating up in embarrassment. I wanted to curse my mother two thousand times over for making me wear dresses.
Can I not be presented as a young male for once?

Before I have the chance to open my mouth and retort, Mother is already practically on top of me. Hand placed firmly over my mouth as she lets out a nervous giggle.
"Light makes such a pretty young boy, does he not, Lord Lawliet?" She smiles over at him and I feel my eyes roll as I hold still. She would do anything to keep me from
ruining my chances with the older male. Fortunately for her, he nods, approaching me for the second time. "He does make quite the darling woman." I see that soft smile return to his face as he holds out his hand. "Care to accompany me to the ball now, Miss?" Mother's hand lowers and I actually find myself smiling at the older man.
Hand reaching out to lightly take his, our fingers almost seeming to fit perfectly together as they hold. "Of course, Sir."

His smile widens, his hand delicately squeezing mine. "Let us go then." I bow my head and hurry behind him as he starts out the door. Turning to blow Mother a goodbye kiss with my other hand. It's a pity she's already dabbing her eyes with a tissue. I can't help but roll my eyes again at this. I would never come to understand women.

As I turn my head back, I meet his eyes. It would seem he's craning his neck so he can speak too me. "Would you like me to help you in? I don't want you to ruin your lovely dress." He says this in a genuine tone and I feel my cheeks flush once more. "Thank you, but. I shouldn't have any trouble on my own." I hoist one foot up onto the side of the carriage, holding on to the top so I can slide in, almost tripping as I try to prove my point. Luckily I stick my hands out at the last second and catch myself. Hoping up into a perfect lady like pose. Legs crossing and arms folding. I hear him chuckle as he gets in, shutting the carriage door with a soft thud. "How graceful."
I flush darker, turning my head to pretend as if though something honestly interests me outside of this window. "It is in my nature."

He chuckles and I suddenly feel his eyes on the back of my head. Perhaps...this was going to be one of the longest rides of my life.