"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"
Rated T
Pairing: Chris x Courtney (maybe)
Summary: All Chris wanted was to get himself a little booze in the middle of the night, but he doesn't have any cups to drink out of. Good thing he knows a certain C.I.T's house to go to in a time of need. But will Courtney want to bother with Chris at all?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with the Total Drama series or any of the characters in the show. Total Drama and its characters are owned and associated by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, since it's been such a while, I'm gonna write you all up a Chrisney fic, just because I felt like it. Oh, and I also do not own the song as well. That song is owned by George Thorogood and The Destroyers, which this fic will be inspired from this song itself. Don't know why, but WWE 2K18 totally brought me to that tune. Haven't stopped listening to it since. So, here you go!
P.S.: This fic goes out to a certain Chrisney fan I know. So this will definitely be her early birthday gift.
The alarm clock started ringing around the office table like crazy, forcing the sound to affect a certain host's ears in his sleep. Needless to say, the annoying irritating ringing noise was starting to become quite a total headache for him. It was so loud that as a result, the host immediately woke up from his nap and punched the alarm clock dead in the face, forcing the latter to break apart on its way down.
"Uggggh, my head frickin' hurts..." mumbled a certain host, which actually turned out to be a very drunk and very out-of-shape Chris McLean.
Why was he like that?
Well, it was simple. Chris had found out that he gotten passed for the opportunity to host a new reality show in which 17 contestants are trapped in a haunted mansion and they must do what they can to last in the mansion without being scared out of their pants. And much to his unfortunate luck, that reality show had belonged to his now former fan, Topher. In amount, that happened to be the tenth reality show that Chris had gotten passed on. He had trouble finding work years after Total Drama had came to an end. So far, most of the contestants were already in their 20's and found fame elsewhere.
But Chris?
Nope, nobody wanted him anymore. He was old news. He was nothing more than yesterday's garbage. But despite all this heartache however, the newly 40-year old Chris determined to get work. And what better way to celebrate the determination than to get up out of that padded office chair he sat and headed for the kitchen, mostly for the refridgerator to get his hands on his favorite combined drink:
One bottle of bourbon, one bottle of half-used scotch and one bottle of beer.
"Ahhhh, just what I needed..." Chris sighed in relief as he shut the fridge door behind him.
He then proceeded to head over to his cabinet in search of his shot glasses, but there was only one problem:
The rest of his shot glasses were missing.
"CHEF!" shouted Chris.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, CHRIS?!" His partner, Chef Hatchet, shouted back from upstairs.
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY SHOT GLASSES?" Yelled the host.
"I WAS BUSY TRYING TO SCOOP UP CRAP FLOATIN' FROM YO' TOILET!" Chef yelled back, forcing a laugh from the host himself.
"What can I say? My turds weigh more than my bank account," Chris stated. "Whatever happened to that pooper scooper?"
"That whore you invited shoved it up her ass and left with it!" snapped the rough-talking Chef.
"Oh, so that's what happened," Chris muttered to himself. "This sucks, now what am I supposed to drink my bourbon, scotch and beer off from?"
After such thinking and planning, the host suddenly had an idea in mind.
"I know a place where I can drink!" Chris exclaimed to himself before taking his bottles and leaving his mansion.
A few hours later...
Courtney was at her mansion blowdrying her hair nonstop after taking such a well-deserved shower. After all, having to work all day in the real estate business was such nonstop hard work. She managed to sell four mansions all around in the same day without any rest whatsoever. But now that Courtney had finally showered, she can finally get all the rest that she wanted. And it was a good thing for her since she had the weekend to finally rest up.
"Ahhh, I have never felt so refreshed at all..." Courtney said to herself while brushing her hair in the mirror.
While she continued to do so...
*BREAK!*
She heard a glass break coming from her bedroom!
"WHOA, what the hell was that?" gasped the former C.I.T.
Being suspicious by that sound, Courtney grabbed a plunger sitting aside the toilet and left the bathroom, proceeding to go through the hallways in order to go to her bedroom. The sound of loud immediate thumping was getting closer and closer. And each time she got closer, her heart would thump loudly out of her chest. What if it was a robber trying to steal all of her stuff? What if it was a dog with rabies trying to break in her room? What if it was one of the neighborhood kids staying up late at night throwing rocks at her windows?
Either way, Courtney was risking to find out herself.
"Well, here goes nothing..." She replied while reaching for the doorknob.
The former C.I.T. wasted no time opening the door and entered through the bedroom only to see a very disturbing image in front of her:
The image of Chris drinking a bourbon/scotch/beer combo through one of her bras!
"What the fuck, Chris?!" Courtney angrily shouted, finally giving Chris's attention.
"Oh, uh... hey, Courtney. You're, uh... you're probably wondering what I'm d-doing here." stuttered a drunken Chris.
"Frankly, I don't give a damn!" the ex-C.I.T. snapped. "I wanna know what the hell are you doing here drunk and in your underwear!"
"Uh, I-uh... I can explain," Chris stuttered his words again, "I ran out of cups to drink my booze, so I... I broke into your house so I can get me more cups. And take a look here! Your bras make excellent cups!"
"You pervert!" screamed Courtney.
"Hey, if ya... if ya wanted some of this boozy bra, you should've asked, bitch!" Chris drunkenly shouted. "Speaking of which, you want some?"
Courtney definitely didn't give him an answer.
Instead, Courtney responded the best thing she knew how...
...
...
...
...
...
...by throwing Chris McLean out of the window, forcing him to land straight in the grass all the way down.
"Ohhhhhh, that didn't feel good..." Chris muttered in pain.
"Now you have only two minutes to leave or else I'm getting my flamethrower, just to make you leave!" Courtney spoke down to Chris before leaving her bedroom.
Unfortunately, Chris couldn't even manage to move his arms or his legs due to the impact he took in the fall. He did manage to move his head though, muttering something inside of him that he definitely regretted doing:
"Last time I drink out of someone's bra..."
Point. Taken.
Yeah, if anybody asks, I decided to make this because well, it's been quite a long time since I've worked on anything Total Drama. So what better way than to do a awesome Chrisney fic? I know that's all people want, so here you go! I think I didn't do too bad with this one. I kinda made Courtney specialize in real estate instead of being a lawyer, because I think that could be Courtney's second profession just in case if she can't be a lawyer herself. And I can totally imagine Courtney doing that to Chris.
Just remember not to drink, kids. Especially if you're Chris, then it's pretty much okay. Oh, and don't ever mix one bourbon, one scotch and one beer altogether in one. Combining all three would make a person wasted with just one shot. LOL XD
Anyway, you know what to do. Until next time, have a very late Halloween everyone. This is Warriorman signing off.