Disclaimes: Belongs to CBS.Big surprise.
AN: I have not been sleeping well this past few days, I think my muse have been working on overtime and I've written way to much. Anyway, in my slightly sleepdepriviated state the following fanfiction looks good, and not to poorly written (al though, the end seems a bit mushy) and hopfully I work well on little sleep, if not, I beg you to let me know, (if I work well of course).
So here's yet another addition to the Mac and Stella libary on What's written in between like this> is thoughts.
Be Mine
by: La Suede
It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain
As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain
-- Be mine (Robyn)
I didn't go to any date. I went straight home to sulk and added something stronger to my coffee. Besides there had not been any date, I had got all dressed up to ask you out to dinner. But no, you had all of a sudden decide that you were ready to start over again, so you had set up a date with what-the-hell-is-her-name? From the coffee shop. God I hated you, I hated HER even more. All though when I met her this morning she seemed perfectly all right, but then she weren't going on a date with you was she?
So I sit pathetically in my flat with my spiked coffee, wishing I was anyplace else. I was in a foul mood when I took my coat and walked towards Central Park. If you needed to think your flat was not the trick, Central Park was the cure for most illnesses, included jealousy. This time of the night there was a lot of people walking the many paths that lined the park. The sun was setting and made the perfect background for the romantic evening, I almost wanted to cry, I don't think I ever felt so lonely in this big city. Instead of crying I bought some roasted almonds and sat down on a bench beneath a street lamp. I was determined to enjoy this evening with or without date.
It was almost the middle of the night when I made my way back to my flat. I sat, bumping back and forth, on the subway thinking how wonderful this evening would have been if I had spent it with you. I guess you could call me a bit bitter, and a bit angry, mostly at myself, that had not caught the signals a little easier, a little sooner, that you were ready to move on. I scolded the detective in me at it's obviousness. The train came to an halt at my station and I got of and started to walk the few blocks back to my flat. That night I slept restlessly, and when I woke up in the morning I felt like I had barely slept at all.
It was a weary woman that made her way to her job that morning, everyone probably thought I had had some fantastic date last night and that mentioned date had kept me up all night. I don't think anyone guessed that I had been in Central Park sulking. I was in the break room downing my fifth cup of coffee, chatting away with Danny and Flack about some trivial thing when you came sailing in. I was flabbergasted!
Mac Taylor do not sail, Mac Taylor do not sail>, I kept thinking over and over in my head while I tried to make sense of things. Mac's new behaviour did not go unnoticed by Flack or Danny either, they just looked at each other knowingly. I wanted to kill my self right then and there. You handed out our assignments and I was off with Flack to some crime scene in Brooklyn.
It wasn't till the end of the shift that I got chance to talk to you.
I said: "So, I guess your date went well last night"
You looked up from your paper work, met my gaze before getting a far away look in your eyes.
I waved my hand in front of your eyes:
"Hello, you're still there" I said
"Oh, sorry" you answered "it went well, I guess, but I don't think I'll be going on a second"
My heart leaped, so there was still a chance for me, I considered that possibility. If I took that chance and if we screwed up, not that I thought that would happen but still, it would be over. Both professionally and our friendship. Was I willing to put it all down to one card? Was it worth the risk? There was only one answer to that: Hell Yea! It took me a while to realise that you were still talking.
"… so I realised that she would probably not be right for me…" ah, I thought the Claire thing again, you continued: "…she would not make me happy as Claire did, or as I know a certain woman will"
So there was another woman in this little love game, I wonder who she is, I asked the only question I knew at the moment:
"Who is this other woman who could make you happy, do I know her", nice one Bonasera, carefully make him accustom to the fact that you would like to play a part in this game. But to my disappointment you saw right through my question.
"Don't try that one on me Stella"
Was there a bit of playfulness in your voice? Or was I imagining things again?
"Guilty", I said instead "how about you and I grab something to eat now? Shift's over anyway"
We made our way down to Central Park, and ironically the same bench I had spent the majority of the previous evening sitting on. You handed me my so called dinner, I could not let this one slip without a sarcastic remark:
"I don't know how you do it Mac, guessing my favourite food" I looked down on my hot dog
"I must be a mind reader". I laugh at that silly remark, this is my best friend Mac and the one man I love. Okay, Bonasera, it's all or nothing> I turn to you and say:
"Mac, the thing is, I don't think you should go on anymore dates".
Nice going Stella, you've been nagging at him to get a life and now you're telling him not to, way to go girl>
You look a bit perplex at that statement, but then smile, it's like you actually are a mind reader, or it's just the fact that we spend to much time together.
"Oh, not" you say with that oh-so adoring smirk "no, I don't think so ether, there's only one girl I'd like to date and I'm kind of already doing that"
Next day in the break room when Danny and Flack remark on my quite obvious sleepiness they do it for the right reason.