Chapter 1

Jamie Reagan sat in his brother's old car at a stoplight, pondering all of his life decisions. He had just left the loft that belonged to him and Sydney. Well, just him now he supposed. He was helping Sydney pack up the rest of her belongings and said goodbye. She was leaving for the airport just after he left.

He drove in silence, but his head was screaming all sorts of things at him. He became aware when he nearly swerved off of the road and waved an apology to the woman in the car next to him, who he figured was probably cussing him out right now.

He sighed. Not to say that he hadn't had his wonders, he always had some thought in him it would happen. He just expected it to be earlier, not when they were already almost a year and a half into their engagement. He was proud of her for getting the position, of course he was, he just wished she could've been closer. He started to wonder if the engagement would have actually lasted if Sydney hadn't been offered the position in London.

He pondered not even showing up for Sunday dinner, but he knew that it was considered almost a sin to miss, especially without informing anyone before him. It would be hard enough not having Sydney next to him, but explaining and worst, giving the ring back to his father. He could already hear Danny's words 'You had it coming to ya kid, you weren't taking very good care of her. That's where ya screwed up kid.'

Jamie frowned as he felt the ring in his pocket. He hated the feeling of it being there, it was just a reminder of what he did. He loved Sydney and he probably always would, but his family always had top priority to him, and with that came finding the truth behind Joe's death. He hadn't told her what he was looking into, he knew she wouldn't approve and tell him how dangerous it was and try to convince him to stick his nose somewhere else.

He remembered her reaction to his wanting to be a cop. "You wouldn't succeed as a cop, they don't make enough money, you're too naive, and you just… wouldn't be a very good one." At the time her words had hit Jamie like ice, but now he was starting to think that maybe it was true.

As he neared the Reagan house, he tried to contemplate what he would say to everyone when he arrived. He knew he was late, that wasn't the problem. He parked the car and sat in the driveway for about five minutes. Jamie let different options play over and over in his head, trying to decide which one to pick to use on his family.

"She's sick? No. Work? No, she never works Sundays."

Jamie groaned in frustration. He decided he just wouldn't say much at all, and offer the least amount of explanation as possible. He sighed and hoped that his plan would work, though seriously doubting that it would. He put his hand on the ring again the closed his eyes, trying to forget Sydney and everything about her.

He knew it wouldn't happen, there was no escaping it. He took a deep breath and prepared for his family's words, hoping they wouldn't be too hard on him. Jamie reluctantly got out of the car and went inside. He heard nothing, realizing his family must have just sat down for dinner. Sighing, Jamie put on his mask and entered the dining room.

"Hey, sorry I'm late" said Jamie roughly, folding his jacket and sitting at the Reagan family dinner table.

"No Sydney?" Danny asked, prompting Jamie to shake his head. Everyone at the table looked around at each other except for Jamie, who carried on as if business was usual. "Where is she kid?" Danny asked. Jamie's body tensed as he sighed "She's busy. Can't be here." Danny just shrugged and continued eating like normal.

At some point during dinner, the topic of conversation switched to weddings. "Have you and Sydney set a date yet?" Erin asked, to which Jamie merely shook his head again. Danny sighed and kissed Linda on the cheek.

"Do you have to do that in here?" Jamie said harshly.

"What's with you today kid? You're acting like the world's up against you, which I can assure you it is not."

"Well not everyone can have a perfect marriage and a happy ever after Danny!" Jamie shouted, causing everyone to fall silent and stare in shock.

"Kid I wasn't trying to-"

"Just shut up Danny, you don't… you just don't get it!" Jamie stood and tossed a ring onto the table before leaving the room in a huff, quickly leaving out the back door and pacing in the backyard.

Everyone at the table stared at the ring, stunned.

"Francis is that?" Said Henry quietly.

"Yeah Pops. Mary's engagement ring. The one Jamie proposed to Sydney with. I know that's the one. "

The table suddenly erupted into a fit of emotions. Danny, and Erin showed their anger. Cursing Sydney's name for leaving their baby brother alone. Linda and Nicky were emotional, feeling bad for Jamie and also sad to see a romance go to waste. Henry sighed, feeling remorse for not being able to figure it out. Frank simply sat in silence, waiting for the storm to end.

"Well I can't say I didn't expect it. Their relationship has been tense since-"

"Ever since Joe died. Sydney was never very empathetic of that. "Danny said, interrupting his sister.

Suddenly Sean piped up "Is someone gonna go talk to Uncle Jamie and make him feel better? I don't like seeing him so sad…" He said, sighing and then looking back down at his plate.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment before Danny spoke. "I'll talk to him" He said quietly, getting up and going to the backyard after his brother.