Author's Note: This turned out a lot like "Promise Me" by Toothpaste Addict, but angsty-er. (If you haven't read any of his stuff, go do it. Right now. If our fictions were fighting, mine would either run away or be killed in a very bloody and violent manner.) :\ Then again, it's the same 'moment', just done differently. I don't know. If he wants me to take it down, I will (that's for him to say, people). I just wanted to write Cloud being a broody pessimist going off to die. -shrug-
GOOD NEWS GUYS, HE LIKES IT. YOU CAN REVIEW WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A BAD PERSON NOW.
Disclaimer: Don't own and whatnot.
Sometimes the lies you tell are less frightening than the loneliness you might feel if you stopped telling them. – Brock Clarke
Cloud isn't sure when he figured it out. Maybe it was during one of the times he was out wandering the streets and winding trails of Hollow Bastion, or maybe during one of the nights he watched Leon sleep, unable to himself because of all the buzzing in his brain. When doesn't matter – what matters is that he knows. He knows that today, when he leaves the house and wanders the Ravine Trail, he won't be coming back. Sephiroth is waiting for him.
It doesn't matter that he's promised them that he'll come back, that he'll be okay. He's willing to let them have that hope, if only because it gives him the slightest bit of hope, too. When Leon comes in from an early-morning patrol, informing him that someone spotted Sephiroth the night before, Cloud thinks about telling him. He doesn't, though – he pulls the brunet to their room instead, taking comfort in calloused fingers and smoldering looks from dark gray eyes. He wakes up tangled in sheets and limbs, soft brown hair tickling the back of his neck, and for a moment – just for a moment – Cloud wishes he didn't have to end this.
They're both dressed now, and Cloud is about to grab his sword and leave (for the last time, he thinks, and so do they – but not for the same reason) when Leon stops him.
"I…" There's a pause, and Leon sighs. "Good luck, Cloud. I'll see you when you get back."
"…Yeah." Cloud turns to the door, to the beginning of the end. "Until then."
I'm going to walk away, and I won't come back.
His hand is on the door, and then Leon's there again, pushing him against it in a quick moment of passion. It's like he knows, Cloud thinks, but pushes that notion aside as he kisses him back. All of a sudden, he feels the need to look him in the eyes, to take that little bit of hope that he doesn't deserve with him to his death. He stares for a minute before turning away, twisting the door open and walking away.
"Cloud!"
He doesn't look back, but he stops, letting the other man know he's listening.
"…I'll watch the skies."
He wants to tell him not to bother. He's going to his death; there's no way he can defeat Sephiroth, and even if he does, Hades probably still has a trick up his sleeve that will drag him back to the Underworld; or, at the very least, Sephiroth will have caused enough damage to drag him down into darkness with him. But he doesn't – he can't – because that would mean losing him, and Cloud isn't ready for that.
It hurts him to walk away with his head held high, but at least his heart isn't crumbling through his fingers.
The skies bit is because Cloud happens to pop in and out of places at obscene heights, which is something I make fun of on a regular basis. At first I was going to use something like "I'll be waiting", but LOL that's in "Promise Me" and this fic is already way too similar. Whatever. I'm rambling. Go review to shut me up. :3