Raja Tears: Well this is my first fic.

Lamb: Hey! This is your second one!

Ray: Yeah! You had one with Sess/Kag.

Raja Tears: That one wasn't good enough! This one is stupid so I don't care what people say.

Ray: You try that at school and GAY Mrs. Lehr thinks you're stupid.

Lamb: Really it isn't that far from the mark, but you just feel more comfortable writing like the retard you are.

Raja Tears: tears streaming down face Thanks guys.

Lamb & Ray: No prob. Sexy.

Raja Tears: touches both(at night) retarded giggle

Ray: I get this feeling!sings from song that I don't own.

Lamb: sighs Well since both of them are being retarded- (Singing is heard in the back round. Not very go singing though.)- I'll DO the disclaimer.

Ray & Raja Tears: DO IT!

Lamb: Glares Raja Tears doesn't own anything (Raja Tears: Except for Ray on the weekends! ) As you can see she is very retarded and that word will be used in the story...A LOT. Also she likes YAOI and will most likely write a yaoi story for any one that asks. Any other words?

Ray: I don't like yaoi.

Raja Tears: I love it. Not yuri so much, but I'M open minded. And I'll write a yaoi so...when I think my friends can handle it. Well the story is going to star Ray as Ray, Lamb as Lamb or Little Sheep for short, me as Fatty, and of course Kagome! So ON WITH THE STORY!

100 Attempts to Contain What Makes Sesshomaru Sexy

Chapter 1: Our Plot Foiled!

At Tunisia Middle School

Kagome's Pov.

I glanced out the window tuning out the ear- bleeding sound of Mrs. Lair's voice. ( I wonder who that is? He he.) 'I can't believe that they would do something so...incredibly stupid. On second thought it seems like those three!mental sigh Why did Ray, Lamb, and Fatty make an anime show out of my boyfriend, his friends and family, and me!' "YOU'RE SO STUPID!"

"Well, Mrs. Rinichi (I can't even begin to spell her last name.) if you find me so stupid then tell me what a Sarah Bishop did in the 15th chapter."Mrs. Lair sent me a death glare at me while my friends gave me a weird look then sent a group glare at Mrs. Lair. 'I need to work on keeping my thoughts to my self.' I sigh out loud and did what no one but my friends an I would understand.

"She was attached for not believing in the 'Sesshy's bangs are eatable' Cult. She thought that one could only rape his bangs." It was hard to be in this school were everyone was stupidly stupid. Mrs. Lair was about to send me to the hall when everyone just started to laugh. Yup! This school is stupid, but me and my friends are the stupidest...except for the preps. They bet us and they don't act. We do. Some times I feel stupid for them. Class went on with everyone listen in the 'normal' section, but in our little corner we were writing stories about suicide and bacon.

After School

"Soooooo...When do we get to meet Sessh-...I mean...Your boyfriend and his friends?" Asked Ray as Fatty and Lamb held up little hearts all around her. I don't think that Inuyasha would be able to stand them. Oh well! I already told him that I was bringing over My friends tonight.

"Tonight! Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha will be at the restaurant." They stopped walking and started to dance. Well, fatty was more like jiggling everywhere. I knew they would be happy!

"Wait. Restaurant? Ohhhhh! You mean Taco Bell! The most wonderful place in the WORLD!" Fatty was weird. Very weird. She wasn't really that fat, but we like to give each other nicknames.

The teachers at school just turn the other check. They know we're crazy.

"We should go get dressed up! We have to impress them. Come on we can have a montage that won't be recorded in future generations! To my house." When Lamb says "dress up" and "impress" it means we got to make ourselves as weird and crazy looking as possible. We do it all the time. I just feel sorry for Inuyasha.

At Taco Bell

I looked at all of our out fits and grinned. 'Inuyasha's going to be floored!' Ray was wearing a crimson shirt with a dead kitty on it in black, gray caprea's, and had her hair in low ponytails at the back of her head. She had heavy crimson eye shadow on, but it looked goth like. Not like a whore. Lamb had on a dark purple tube top with the word GOTH written across it and a fish net light blue sleeveless trench coat, skin tight leather pants that laced up on the sides, and her hair was left down with purple and blue highlights. She didn't wear make up. Fatty wore a baggy shirt that said "I've kidnaped myself. If you ever want to see me again give me 100,000 dollars." in what looked to be cut out of different magazines, baggy black cargo pants that had electric blue chains hanging from it and rested so low on her hips that you could see electric blue boxers too, the front part of her hair was put up in ponytails on top of her head and were curled while the rest was put into a messy bun in the middle of her head. She had liner packed on. As for me, well I don't like the goth look. I'm NOT a prep though. No one likes them! We all piled out of Fatty's '65 Shelby Cobra. Even though we were 13 Fatty had the best car around and drove us everywhere, We don't know how she got a first addition Cobra, but it was most DEFIANTLY was illegal. We walked through the doors and went to sit at our usual table.

"When are they going to get here!"Lamb asked as she played with our pet Boa, Yakusoku. He lived here at Taco Bell. No one bothers him cause then we would be...angry. No one wants that.

"I hope Sesshy is coming here." Ray had this day dream look on her face like when we're in Algerbra. Fatty just pulled out a dagger from her belt and started to carve into the table. 'They better get here soon. Fatty gets kinda crazy when she doesn't have a taco.'

"Hey 'Gome, Ray, Lamb, and I have to go to the restroom. We'll br right back!" Fatty had a gleam in her eyes that told me that she had a crazy plot. 'Well, Inuyasha and the others just drove up if she doesn't want me to know the plan. I really don't think I want to know anyway. Oh well. At least it's going to be an entertaining evening!'

"Don't reck the place to much with your diabolical plot, Fatty. Last time the FBI had to get involved." They just smiled and rushed to the restrooms. 'Nope I really don't want to know.

"Hey, Babe,"Inuyasha whispered into my ear. I smiled and turned to meet his lips. ", were are those friends of yours that we were supposed to meet?" I shrugged at turned back around. Inuyasha sat next to me, Miroku sat next to him, and Sango sat on the very out side of the bench. It was a big bench, what with all the fat people. Then I realized why Fatty, Ray, and Lamb had the evil glint in their eyes. Across from me sat Sesshomaru. He look very annoyed at having to be here. 'I kinda fell sorry that he'll be tortured by the Crazy Three.' I gave him a bright smile. 'Well not really!'

In the Restroom

Fatty's Pov.

"He's here! Do you think he'll marry me. Ohhhhhh, we'll have beautiful kids together! He'll like them even if they ARE half- demon. Weeeee!"Me and Little Sheep giggled at Ray and went into our own day dreams. I quickly came back to the world of insanity and slapped the others.

"We have to do something! We must obtain what makes Sesshomaru sexy! And I have a plot. An evil Plot," At this point Little Sheep got out the boom box that we kept in the second stall for just this evil occasion and Ray dimmed the lights and held a flash light under my face. ", now all we need to do is figure out WHAT makes him sexy." Ray and Little Sheep threw the things back into the second stall where it hit a woman who was constipated. She let out a big one and died. 'Some people just can't handle tacos or evil plots.' Ray started to jump around with her hand in the air.

Ray: I know. Pick me, Lardo. Pick me.

Me: What is it Ray?

Little Sheep: I bet she doesn't know what it is.

Ray sent an smile at Sheep that said "I'm a retard".

Ray: It's his bangs! The way they sway in the breeze. And the silver sweetness that shines.

At that point we all sighed. 'Wow! I think we figured it out! Now for my plot.'

Me: Okay gather around so no one can hear the Plot except for us.

We formed a circle and leaned into one another. I started to make whispering sounds. Then I said "Sesshomaru" loudly. I started to make more whispering noises and said "kitchen" clearly. We stood up and Sheep looked at me strangely. The way we communicate is so stupid we understand each other even when we just make whispering noises.

Sheep: That won't work.

Me: Will so!

Ray: Come on we need to get to the kitchen with out being seen.

With Kagome

"It's been a half hour. Were are your friends at?" I looked at Miroku as he asked me that. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my friends crack open the restroom door and roll out on the ground. They started to make ninja noises while they jumped around on the tables on other peoples food. After a minute of that they all just jumped down and walked into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and turned back to face Miroku.

"Oh, they're probably in their own world right now. Don't worry give them 10 min. and they'll be here." I explained.

"If those goths work here then I don't want to eat. They seem retarded." Everyone laughed at the joke Sango made. Even I did. 'I hope they didn't hear Sango say that. They'll torture her poor soul!' We went on talking about our normal stuff and had a good time. Sesshomaru just sat there staring out the window the whole time.

In the Kitchen

Author's Pov.

Lamb, Ray, and Fatty walked past the workers and into the very back room. The storage room.

"Do they even have all the stuff here?" Ray asked and picked up two rolls of duck tape. Lamb knocked down the door and took off the hinges.

"Why did you do that? We didn't need it." Fatty questioned as she and Ray looked puzzled at Lamb. Lamb grinned and held out the door for them to see.

"It told me to do it! So I did!"

"Oh well, that explains it!" Ray said. Fatty went over to Lamb and looked down at the door.

"Were's the goods?" Fatty paused for a moment. "Not talking I see." Ray, Lamb, and Fatty shared a goofy grin before they jumped on the broken door and make a brig 'KABOOM' sound effect. The door shattered under their HUGE weight. They got up and run around the room gathering the rest of the stuff they needed for their Plot. EVIL Plot.

"Okay, Duck tape, gray powder that will make smoke if it's blown up, fuse?"

"Check, check, check!" Ray and Fatty shouted as Lamb went through what they had.

"Doughnuts, sunglasses, microphone?"

"Check, check, che-...wait we don't have a mic." Ray said while Fatty shuffled through all the stuff.

"Were are we going to get one then?" Lamb wondered out loud. They all thought for a moment.

"I'll be back!" Fatty ran out the room and to the drive through window. She turned the person who was taking some ones order around. Solemnly Fatty asked a question. "Do you believe in God my child." the person looked scared and stuttered out a mick yes. Fatty flashed a smile then snatched off the persons head phone mic. She promptly pushed the annoying person out the window and skipped back to the room. "Check!"

"He he. That person died!" Ray stated with a day dream smile.

"Okay. The most IMPORTANT thing...the foil!" All three of the girls squealed in delight

and shout at the same time "CHECK" the went to work fixing the smoke bomb and powdering the ninja throwing doughnuts! The foil will come later. As the three walked out of the kitchen they each grabbed a pair of scissors.

Kagome and the others

I heard the kitchen door open. Everyone there turned around to see a big duck tape ball sitting there. I notice to late that it had a light fuse when it exploded. Instead of it hurting people like they usually do it just released a thick gray smoke that covered the whole place. 'Well, they get points for making it in 5 min. and it didn't even hurt anyone...yet.' I started to cough when I heard this heavy breathing coming from the direction of the kitchen. Then I felt doughnuts pelting me. I screamed when it hit my hand. 'THAT HURT. Since when are doughnuts THAT hard. Oh yeah. Lamb is an evil scientist.' That's when I heard Ray say something in a husky voice.

"Sesshomaru...I am your father!" The doughnuts keep coming at us when I saw a flash of silver. I heard what sounded like a struggle then a 'Thump' coming from across me. The smoke cleared away and the doughnuts stopped. I looked to where I heard all the noises and started to laugh. 'I knew this would be entertaining!' Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku looked at me then to where I was pointed to to see the three goth chicks from earlier. They looked at what they were sitting on by the table and started to laugh also. There on beneath them was Sesshomaru wrapped up tightly in foil with nothing but his bangs peaking through. 'Wait til they find out those are my friends!' I thought as Ray, Fatty, and Lamb gave each other high fives. They gave me an evil smile that I knew I would come to recognize in the future and each pulled out some very sharp scissors.

Fatty's Pov.

"Now Sesshy don't worry!"I said as I looked at my scissors.

"Yeah, we just want to contain what makes you sexy!" Lamb then started to open and close her scissors very violently. We all grabbed a piece of Sesshy's bangs and brought our scissors close.

"FREEZE! Drop the scissors and put your hands in the air. NOW!" Came a booming voice. Lamb and I laughed and looked a Ray. 'She can throw her voice!' Ray looked at us with wide eyes. We all slowly turned to the kitchen door to see the discarded mic. laying there.

"Oops." We said at the same time. The windows shattered as FBI agents crashed through them from helicopters. Twenty of them surrounded us and pointed their guns at us. I threw my scissors at the silver head that looked like Sesshy a little. 'Ohhh! So that's her boyfriend!' Ray put her scissors into the ground and Lamb hide hers in my clothes. We all turned to Kagome and smiled innocently.

"Hi, Kagome. We're back!" Said Ray with a small wave. Lamb got up and walked over to sit down across from 'Gome's one girl friend. Two of the guns followed Her movements.

"Soooooo...you're her boyfriend. I always thought you would look more manly." 'Gome snorted when Lamb was knocked into Ray and me with a punch from that girl.

"Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku these are my friends that I wanted you to meet! That's Fatty, Ray, and Lamb." 'Gome pointed everyone out as she said our names. Me, Lamb, and Ray gave a cheeky smile, waved, and said "HI, HI!" together. I turned to my right and waved at the agent there.

"How are the kids Mike?" I asked Mike. Lamb, Ray, and I get into a lot of trouble. We know most of the FBI agents in the 3 state radius around Indiana. Mike's just really hot! He rolled his eyes and handcuffed us together. The rest out down their guns when the realized that it was just us causing mayhem again.

Kagome's Pov.

I watched as Mike lead my friends out to the van a drove off. I sigh and got up.

"Well I got to go bail them out before they manhandle the poisoners to much. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye guys!" I kissed Inuyasha goodbye and stepped over the still foiled covered Sesshy. 'They didn't get what they wanted today...I think I'll help them tomorrow!"

I laughed as I got into Fatty's Cobra and drove away from the demolished Taco Bell. "We MUST get Sesshy's bangs!"

The End until the next chapter!

Raja Tears: I think that went well.

Ray: You're going to make a 100 of those things?

Lamb: Of course she is! Even if I have to make her.

Raja Tears: No one will read something like that though. Tear, tear

Lamb: YES THEY WILL!

Ray: I wouldn't...There's a party...In my pants.

Raja Tears: Thanks guys you know how to cheer me up!

Lamb: Beep! We haven't even started on our science fair project!

Raja Tears: Fine. I'll start to build the bridges. You get the sludge hammer!

Lamb & Raja Tears: Runs off to 'do' their project. Meaning we'll just talk!

Ray: Raja Tears will make a new story if some one other then me and Lamb reviews nicely. Give suggestions too! Lots of them! It could take awhile for her to reply or whatever 'cause she's slow and new. Keep reading for her sake! I BEG OF YOU!